Monday Night Raw – January 27, 2003: You Can Feel The Suck Starting

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 27, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re back to this death year for the company after a five month layoff. We’re past the Rumble which means HHH is world champion (I’m shocked too) and heading towards No Way Out where we get a rematch from the horrible Steiner vs. HHH world title match in Boston. Let’s get to it.

Booker T vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff challenged Booker to this match as he’s growing more and more frustrated at his inability to win a big match. They jockey for position to start until Booker misses a side kick and it’s a standoff. Booker chops him into the corner and pounds Jeff down, only to have Hardy come back with a flying forearm for two. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Booker’s back but T fights up with ease.

Jeff gets some feet up to stop a charge in the corner and gets two off a middle rope dropkick. Booker crotches himself on a side kick but Jeff misses the Whisper in the Wind. Booker misses the ax kick and the second Whisper connects, but Booker hooks the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t working at all but Jeff’s heel turn looks to be going well. Booker was starting to improve at this point but he wasn’t up to the level he would eventually reach. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere, but the chemistry clearly wasn’t there anyway so the lack of time is a good thing.

Post match Jeff tries to jump Booker but gets sent into the barricade instead.

Here’s Scott Steiner to complain about HHH being behind his attack last week. Steiner calls out HHH who debuts his let down hair look here which would be his style for the next two years or so. HHH says that from now on, when you call him out you get all four members of the yet to be named team. They storm the ring but Steiner pulls a led pipe out of his pants and runs them all off. Somehow this took nearly five minutes.

Teddy Long wants to know why there are no black superheroes. Teddy was usually nuts with this character but he’s got a completely valid point this time. D’Lo Brown is YOUR new black superhero. Good to know.

Hurricane vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown slaps him in the face to start and hits that jumping leg lariat of his. D’Lo pounds him on the mat as JR and King do the whitest Shaft routine you’ll ever hear. Off to an abdominal stretch by D’Lo but Hurricane flips out, only to be suplexed down for two. Brown stays on Hurricane’s neck but the powers of….uh….what were Hurricane’s powers anyway? He comes back with an Edge-O-Matic for two before sending Brown to the floor for a big plancha, hurting his own back in the process. Back inside and Hurricane’s back gives out on a suplex attempt, allowing Brown to hit the Sky High for the pin.

Rating: D+. For a four minute TV match, I’ve seen worse. Both guys had a lot more potential than he was given credit for but neither ever had a chance to shine. Of all people, Rock would be the guy who gave Hurricane his big rub, only to have HHH treat Hurricane like a jobber a few weeks later. Such is life in 2003.

Bischoff is worried that Vince likes Smackdown better.

We recap Jericho hitting Stacy with a chair last week.

Here’s Jericho with something to say. He’s sorry for what he did last week but before he can get much further, here’s Christian with something to say. Christian thinks that it’s Stacy’s fault for being out there and Test’s fault for not taking the chair shot last week. Jericho talks some trash about Test until Shawn comes out to further their Wrestlemania feud. Shawn makes fun of Jericho and eventually clears the ring of the Canadians. Not much to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is a street fight. Victoria jumps the champion during her entrance and chokes her to the ring with a kendo stick. Trish is whipped into the steps and then into the crowd but she comes back with high kicks to take over. A cross body off the barricade gets two on the floor (making this a hardcore match instead of a street fight) before they head back inside. Victoria hits a slingshot legdrop for two but Trish heads to the floor to find weapons.

A HARD trashcan lid shot to the head puts Victoria down before Trish smacks two lids around Victoria’s head. The champion comes back with a lid shot of her own and slingshots Trish face first into the can itself. Victoria goes up but gets hit with the lid again, followed by the Stratusphere for two. They head outside again with Trish hitting a Thesz Press off the apron to take over again.

Back in and Trish pounds away but has to duck a fire extinguisher blast from Victoria’s guy Steven Richards. The Chick Kick gets two for Stratus and she pounds both of them down with kendo stick shots. Victoria comes back with a superkick for two followed by Richards breaking up Stratusfaction. Victoria shoves Trish off the apron and into the barricade for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This was better than you would expect but Richards was very annoying. It’s good stuff when the chicks get out of their comfort zone and beat the tar out of each other like this which made for a more entertaining match. Victoria was awesome in the psycho role as well. Good stuff here.

Post match Jazz returns from injury and destroys Trish with every signature and finishing move she has.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. William Regal/Lance Storm

This is a tables rematch from the last week with the foreigners defending the titles. The Dudleys pound on the foreigners with flags to start until Bubba spears Storm to the floor. D-Von officially starts with Regal as we’re supposed to believe tags will be a part of this match. D-Von clotheslines Regal in the corner and Bubba follows with a splash and the reverse double neckbreaker to put Regal down. Storm tries to come in and walks into 3D followed by a What’s Up to Regal. It’s table time and the big ECW city of Chicago goes NUTS.

D-Von can’t find any tables as the match kind of comes to a screeching halt since both champions are down but there’s no way to end the match. This brings out Chief Morely (Val Venis) with a table, but as the Dudleys go after him, 3 Minute Warning of all people pop up to beat the Dudleys down, leaving none of the people in the match standing. This brings out Spike Dudley to beat up Rico (Warning’s manager) and Jamal, only to be crotched by Rosey. Rico kicks Spike in the head and Rosey powerbombs D-Von through the table to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This was a six and a half minute match with four people in it to start and five people interfering. The tag title scene was such a mess at this time that’s it’s all the more confusing why there was a second set of titles created a few months earlier. This wasn’t really even a match.

HHH and company go into Eric’s office and laugh a bit. Next.

RVD and Kane make up after their issues at the Rumble because they face Batista and HHH tonight.

Matt Cappotelli vs. John Hennigan

This is billed as an exhibition and both guys come out together with Al Snow. Hennigan is more famous as John Morrison and looks odd with short hair here. They fight over a headlock to start as it’s clear both guys are very green. Hennigan spins out of a hiptoss and armdrags Matt down for two. Not that it matters as here’s Christopher Nowitski, a fellow Tough Enough finalist, to complain about both guys rubbing his in his loss. For those of you who didn’t get to see Cappotelli wrestle, he had more potential than Hennigan.

Tommy Dreamer runs off Nowitski and canes both guys down to make them pay dues.

Here’s Bischoff to say that Austin is NOT here tonight and to plug Austin’s interview in Raw Magazine. We get a clip from Confidential (a show with a bunch of videos which started out AWESOME with stuff like Shawn admitting he knew about Montreal beforehand for the first time and a piece on how wrestlers react when they’re told wrestling is fake. Yeah on a WWE show. It eventually evolved into a nothing show like most other WWE ideas) explaining that Austin took his ball and went home. We also get the Austin Desire (an ad campaign at the time) video and that’s about it.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Jericho for the #1 contender’s spot is announced for next week.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. HHH/Batista

The big men get us going with Kane pounding him into the corner but getting caught by a clothesline. Kane comes back with a powerslam and it’s off to Van Dam with a splash for two. Rob hits some shoulders in the corner but as he backflips away from Batista, Big Dave spears him down. Off to HHH who pounds away in the corner but gets caught by some spin kicks to the face. The jumping knee to the face gets two for the world champion and it’s back to Batista.

Some HARD clotheslines put Van Dam down and then some hard clotheslines put Van Dam down. Batista wasn’t exactly the star he would become yet if you couldn’t tell. Back to HHH who gets caught with a kick to the chest, allowing for the double tag to the big men. Everything breaks down and Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Batista but the Five Star misses. Orton and Flair run down and send Kane into the post before Batista rips the mask off. Kane runs off as Van Dam is hit with a spinebuster and the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much to see here as Batista wasn’t ready for anything like this yet. He would get much better by the end of the year but his matches were pretty hard to sit through at this point. HHH’s new style didn’t work for anyone but him, meaning it’s all we’re going to see for a long time.

Post match Van Dam gets beaten down until Steiner comes out for the save with the pipe. The numbers catch up with him too and the beatdown is on. It’s a long one too with the last two and a half minutes of the show being spent on the attack. The group leaves and Jericho comes out to put Steiner in the Walls to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as a lot of the stuff wasn’t bad at all but it’s leading up to such worthless material later on that it’s hard to care at all. The stories just aren’t interesting and there’s almost no reason to care about any of them. HHH is showing signs of being the life sucking force that he would be all year with nothing interesting happening for him. The show certainly wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t interesting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

PDFPrint