Monday Night Raw – August 5, 2013: Don’t Touch The Beard!
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Night Raw
Date: August 5, 2013
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam
Miz is on commentary. Non-title again and Ricardo is back, a week earlier than the reported return date. Del Rio attacks to start but Van Dam fires back with forearms to the jaw. A standing moonsault gets two and Del Rio rolls to the floor, only to have Rob hit a moonsault off the apron as we take a break.
Back with Van Dam blocking a shot into the buckle and kicking Del Rio down.
Post match Del Rio superkicks Ricardo and hits him with the bucket before crushing him between the steps and the post.
Ryback vs. Mark Henry
The Bellas are arguing over who looked better on Total Divas. Eva Marie comes up to laugh about how they made Natalya look stupid last week. Natalya comes up and slaps a Bella, likely setting up a match later.
Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk
Kaitlyn vs. Layla
Kaitlyn and Layla skip around the ring post match. Apparently that kick is called the Bombshell.
Christian vs. Heath Slater
CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel
Non-title of course. Punk charges up the ramp before the bell and the brawl starts near the stage. Punk keeps trying to get to Heyman who has gone backstage. They head to the ring with Punk in control and the bell rings. Axel takes over with some chops but Punk takes him down into an Indian Deathlock of all things. Before he falls down with the hold, Punk spits in the air and tries to slap it away ala Mr. Perfect and the gum. Axel rolls to the floor and gets caught with the suicide dive as we take a break.
Back with Axel cranking on an armbar and elbowing Punk in the face for two. A middle rope elbow sets up another chinlock from Axel as Heyman comes back to ringside. Punk finally rolls out of the hold and crawls over at Heyman, only to be clotheslined down for two. Punk comes back with a spinning cross body out of the corner but a Heyman distraction lets Curtis take over. CM comes back with a kick to the head and the running knee in the corner but Curtis breaks up the Macho Elbow. The McGillicutter gets two but Punk kicks Axel in the head again. Not that it matters as he goes after Heyman, drawing a DQ at 10:22.
Fandango vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi is much skinnier and is in long tights now. Fandango takes over quickly to start and takes Kofi down as the announcers talk about ballet. A quick chinlock sets up a dropkick to Kofi but a middle rope knee drop misses. Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the Boom Drop but Fandango bails from Trouble in Paradise. Fandango gets in a kick of his own but misses the legdrop, allowing Kofi to get two off a cross body. Trouble in Paradise is good for the pin at 3:43.
Real Americans vs. Usos
Big E. Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler
John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton vs. Shield
Overall Rating: B. This was a moving day towards Summerslam as we added a match and enhanced a lot of the others. The matches were good enough tonight but this was all about the promos and storytelling which often make for better episodes. Bryan vs. Cena is going to be AWESOME with both guys trying to prove the other wrong and the promos showed that. Punk vs. Lesnar looks good with Punk trying to slay the monster and the physical side has a chance. Good but not great show tonight.
Results
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rolling Cradle
Mark Henry b. Ryback via countout
Wyatt Family b. Tons of Funk – Splash to Clay
Layla b. Kaitlyn – Bombshell Kick
Christian b. Heath Slater – Spear
Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise
Real Americans b. Usos – Neutralizer to Jimmy Uso
Big E. Langston b. Dolph Ziggler – Big Ending
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