On This Day: November 6, 2012 – Smackdown 2012: An Irishman, An Englishman And A Giant Walk Into A Pub

Smackdown
Date: November 6, 2012
Location: LG Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those cockamamie live Smackdowns that almost no one watches because there’s no reason to care about Smackdown. The main event for tonight is Del Rio vs. Orton, because we need it hammered into our heads that we wasted our time watching the three Barrett vs. Orton matches. Other than that there’s nothing announced for this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last night with the Survivor Series elimination match being shifted around.

Here’s Sheamus in the ring to open things up. Apparently there was an incident in a pub last night and we’ve got footage of it. It shows Regal, Sheamus and Big Show in a pub and a brawl breaks out. Show destroys Sheamus using various furniture. Back in the arena, Sheamus tells Cole to get out of the ring. He doesn’t respect Show because of Regal getting attacked in the pub, so Sheamus wants to fight right now. Not for the title, but just to fight.

Instead Show pops up on screen and calls Sheamus an ungrateful ginger. Show held back in the pub but at Survivor Series Show is going to go at Sheamus full speed. Sheamus calls him out again but here’s Barrett instead. Barrett says that Sheamus already has to face him on Main Event so don’t even worry about Big Show tonight. Sweet goodness just make the tag match already. Sheamus calls him to the ring again but Barrett leaves.

Barrett is in the back post match and Booker makes the tag match. Why do they bother having these ten minute openings when that’s the match announced every time? Seriously, that’s good TV time being totally wasted on pandering when you know the outcome the second the names are mentioned. It’s Sheamus/Regal vs. Show/Barrett if that’s not clear.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi is defending. Now remember: Miz has lost three straight times to Kofi but he got a pin in a tag match. That pin after a Show punch was apparently enough to convince Booker to give us this match. The first thing said during this match is that Kofi has Miz’s number. They’re not even hiding that there’s no reason to believe Miz can win here. The ropes seem extra loose here for some reason.

After a headlock by the champion he hits a monkey flip and clothesline to put Miz on the floor. A baseball slide misses for Kofi and Miz puts him on the barricade. Kofi is fine with that and walks the barricade like Jeff Hardy used to do, hitting a clothesline to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drops Kofi out of the corner and might have hurt the champ’s knee. We take a break and come back with Miz getting two off something we didn’t see.

Miz holds onto the ankle in a hold that really doesn’t look like it hurts. During the break Miz dropped Lofi’s knee on the steps and back live a dropkick to said knee gets two. Miz hooks a weird kind of standing Figure Four before going to the mat with a generic leg lock. Kofi’s solution? Kick him in the face. Why overcomplicate things? Kofi fights back and hits the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise is countered. The Finale is countered into a series of rollups before Miz hooks a half crab. Kofi goes up again but gets crotched. Miz’s superplex attempt is blocked and Kofi hits a top rope cross body to retain at 11:29.

Rating: C+. We get it: Kofi can beat Miz. Now why did we need to see this for a fourth time? I’ve heard the plan is to move Miz to the main event again, so the solution is to have him lose FOUR TIMES? The lack of drama hurts this, as the announcers kept harping on the 3-0 that Kofi has been since this feud started. Not a bad match but it was beating a dead horse.

Post match Miz offers a handshake (you read that right) but Kofi dropkicks him to the floor. Jerk.

Prime Time Players vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Young vs. Cara to start with Darren taking control. Titus adds his power stuff before it’s back to Young with a cravate. Titus breaks up a hot tag for a second before an enziguri from Cara lets him tag Mysterio. Rey speeds things up and ranas Titus into 619 position, only to have Darren break it up. Titus grabs a charging Rey and hits the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. At least with this feud that keeps going the teams are alternating wins. Titus and Young have charisma to them where they’re fun to watch. Mysterio and Cara are going to be popular no matter what they do, so there’s nothing for them to lose here. This was short but it was competitive enough to not be terrible.

Post match Striker tries to interview the Players, but the Players interview themselves with every answer being millions of dollars. They make Striker say it too but he’s not so enthusiastic. They try to get Striker to do the millions of dollars dance but he gets whistled at for having no rhythm and a bad mustache. The Players do the dance instead.

As this is being written, Linda McMahon has officially lost her race in the Senate.

We recap the Cena/AJ/Vickie stuff from last night and by recap, I mean show the whole thing. We’re going to get MORE footage on Raw. Good grief END THIS STUPID STORY ALREADY!

Booker and Teddy talk about the tag match tonight with Teddy saying that he made a lot of tag matches too. This turns into Booker implying Teddy is sucking up to him. Oh wait Booker is just kidding.

Big Show/Wade Barrett vs. William Regal/Sheamus

After the break, we look at the video from earlier again in case someone forgot it. BIG pop for Regal. Sheamus chases the heels to the floor before the match starts and we stall a lot. Show wants to start with Regal but both guys tag to bring in Barrett vs. Sheamus. It’s their usual power brawling stuff to start with Sheamus finally getting two off a clothesline. Off to Regal in his one piece women’s swimsuit for his usual hard stuff to Barrett’s chest. Sheamus hits the slingshot shoulder for two.

Show yells at the referee a lot and it’s back to Regal, who gets a pop on his second tag instead of the first. Regal gets his legs swept out from under him and Big Show comes in to pound him down. The heels double team the home country guy but Regal keeps fighting back. Show shoulders him right back down and puts on a nerve hold as we take a break. Back with Barrett still working over Regal before bringing Show back in.

Show works on Regal’s arm and Regal yells a lot while having an EVIL look on his face. I think JBL said that the Souvenir has been changed to the Bull Hammer now. I wouldn’t be complaining about the name change. Barrett hooks a front facelock but Regal shakes him off. That and a forearm to Barrett’s face are enough to make the tag to Sheamus who fires off a bunch of ax handles to drop Show. The top rope shoulder looks to set up the Brogue Kick but a Barrett distraction allows Show to spear Sheamus down. Off to Regal who fires on Show with everything he’s got, but the WMD knocks him silly for the pin at about 14:00.

Rating: C-. This was your standard main event tag match for the hometown audience. I’m kind of glad they didn’t have Regal get a win over either of these guys because it would have been silly to have a guy never on the show get a win over a top guy. If this were a house show it would have been fine but on TV Regal losing was the right call.

We recap the food fight last week with Orton and Del Rio.

Del Rio doesn’t have much to say but Rosa wishes him luck.

We get the Brad Maddox segment from Raw. This one is clipped though.

Orton says he’s crazy and doesn’t mind being called names by Del Rio.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

This is falls count anywhere and anything goes, since I guess Hardcore is on the not cool list of terms now. We come back from a break but WAIT, before the match we have to look at some SyFy show to fill in more time so we don’t have a 25 minute main event. Here’s Alberto, but here’s ANOTHER recap before the bell can ring. If anything goes here, why doesn’t Ricardo come in and help Alberto?

He hands Del Rio a chair but Orton knocks it away from Alberto. The chair gets wedged between the top and middle rope in the corner but Orton dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Alberto sends him into the barricade and has to escape the Elevated DDT. They head into the crowd with Randy giving chase. Del Rio whips him into some big metal cases. They head into the concourse and we take a break.

Back with the brawl continuing in the back before they head into the arena again. Del Rio drapes him over a barricade and hits a knee lift for two. They fight back up the steps with Orton pounding him in the head. A cameraman goes down as we go to a flat area where Del Rio hits a superkick and a chair shot for two. We take another break and come back with Del Rio having steps placed in the ring. Orton fights back and they go to the floor by the stage where Orton backdrops Del Rio from the floor to the ramp for two.

Ricardo tries to choke Randy a bit and is immediately shrugged off. Orton throws Ricardo into the British phone booth on the stage and pounds on him a bit. It’s about time some of those props up there were used. Orton hits the clotheslines back in the ring and sends Del Rio into the chair that Alberto set up earlier. Del Rio sends Orton to the apron but Orton comes back with a headbutt.

There’s a table set up at ringside but Orton can’t suplex Bertie through it. Instead Alberto hits an enzugri to send Randy through it VERY slowly. That gets two on the floor and Alberto grabs a mic. He says he’s the new Apex Predator of the WWE and there’s the armbreaker. Apparently rope breaks don’t count here (yet they count in the Cell I believe) so Orton has to hit Del Rio in the head with the mic to escape. Alberto sends him shoulder first into the post and pulls the steps into position. Del Rio tries an Elevated DDT onto those steps but Randy escapes and it’s the RKO onto the steps for the pin at 21:45.

Rating: B. For a main event on free TV, this was a solid hardcore match. Does Orton ever lose matches with rules like this one had? They beat on each other really well with Orton getting the better of it for the most part, but Alberto didn’t look bad at all. Hopefully this ends the feud like traditional storytelling would dictate.

Josh’s line to close the show: “Who is the Apex Predator of the WWE?” SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FREAKING MATCH??? Orton just beat him in a brutal match but we’re still not sure? And they wonder why no one is interested in their stories anymore.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was good but the rest of the show was only ok. Te real problem here is that Smackdown adds absolutely nothing to WWE anymore. It’s a lot of matches you different versions of on Raw and a big tag match that doesn’t mean anything outside of England. On top of that you get long recaps from Raw and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there on Smackdown? Oh there’s that wacky Teddy and Booker bantering.

This show is worthless anymore and the rating is going to bomb with the election being tight at the moment. But hey, when you have a ton of bad stuff on Raw, the solution is to just air it again right? Tonight’s episode did not need to be on Tuesday and it’s not going to mean anything, as these feuds are the same ones you get on Raw. Why the WWE thinks people want to see them again on Tuesday/Friday is beyond me, but what do I know?

Results

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Cross Body

Prime Time Players b. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio – Clash of the Titus to Rey

Big Show/Wade Barrett b. Sheamus/William Regal – WMD to Regal

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO onto steel steps

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