Smackdown – November 29, 2013: Why Smackdown Should Take A Lesson From Impact

Smackdown
Date: November 29, 2013
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The main story coming into tonight is Cena vs. Orton being confirmed for TLC, but I can’t imagine we’ll get much on that at Smackdown. Other than that the big questions are what did the Wyatts do with Daniel Bryan and why did Shield take out Punk on Raw. The show likely won’t answer any questions but we might get a food fight because that’s how wrestling works around a holiday. Let’s get to it.

Theme song.

Here’s Renee Young in the ring to introduce Randy Orton. We look back at the end of Survivor Series where the Authority helped Orton beat Big Show with the Punt. Orton says he begs to differ with Renee’s version of things. First off he was playing possum instead of being knocked out. He didn’t need the Authority to prove he could beat Big Show. All that did was taint his inevitable victory. That brings us to Monday where Cena showed up to challenge Orton to the title unification match at TLC. Renee asks Orton about why he didn’t accept the match himself but Orton walks away.

We go to the back for the Thanksgiving party. Everyone is having a good time so here’s Vickie to let us know that this is a leftover party. She has everything anyone could want, but this will NOT turn into a food fight. There will however be an eating contest between Titus and Khali but we have to wait on the winner.

Curtis Axel vs. Mark Henry

Ryback and Langston are here as seconds. Henry throws Axel around as you would expect to get us going. Ryback gets in a cheap shot on Langston and the distraction lets Axel get in some cheap shots on the knee to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Henry gets to his feet and throws Axel around like a small ferret. The JYD headbutts put Axel on the floor between two large muscular men and Ryback’s interference doesn’t work at all. Henry throws Curtis back inside for the World’s Strongest Slam and the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D. Axel is a guy in desperate need of a repackaging. The talent is there, but he needs something completely different after how badly he’s been crushed. At least he doesn’t have the title anymore. It looks like we’re setting up for Langston vs. Ryback, which is going to hurt someone in the short term when neither guy can really afford that.

Truth and Xavier Woods (in a Power Rangers shirt) are in the back when a ticked off Brodus Clay shows up. He gave them permission to use the music and Funkadactyls, not steal them. Brodus tells the rookie to watch his attitude and slaps him in the face. Truth and Tensai break up the fight as Brodus seems to have turned heel.

Back to the eating contest when AJ and Tamina crash the party. Vickie threatens to turn this into a food fight with the two of them against everyone else. That goes nowhere and we pan over to Khali passing out and Titus winning the contest. The win earns him a match with Antonio Cesaro tonight. Khali is covered in mashed potatoes.

Plymouth Rockers vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

3MB coming out to the Rockers’ music isn’t something I ever expected to see. JBL is WAY too excited to see El Torito. Torito gets things going with Slater as JBL refers to this as an inter-species match. The other Band members try to jump Torito but the Matadores dropkick them to the floor.

Torito dives through the ropes to take them out as the crowd is silent. Fernando gets stomped down in the 3MB corner with Drew draping Fernando’s feet on the ropes and firing off forearms to the back. A hot tag brings in Torito with a top rope hurricanrana followed by a flying headscissors. Off to Diego and the double Angle Slam ends McIntyre at 2:57. Comedy match and not a funny one.

Video on the European shows.

Tons of Funk vs. Xavier Woods/R-Truth

Tensai and Truth get us going with both guys escaping various hold attempts. Truth finally gets slammed down but blocks a charge in the corner with a boot to the face. Off to Woods who pounds on Tensai and kicks him in the jaw to little effect. An enziguri sends Tensai into the corner and it’s off to Brodus for the headbutt to the chest. A middle rope splash crushes Woods for the pin at 2:18. I like the idea of this feud. Stealing music seems like an easy way to start a feud but I don’t remember it being used since…..the late 80s?

Punk is worried that he hasn’t heard from Bryan and that he has bad ribs thanks to Reigns. He thinks Shield is acting on orders from someone.

Bray Wyatt talks about seeing mannequins in his dreams. Everyone is intoxicated in their own vanity but we all see symmetry. Bray insists that no one knows people like he does and that Daniel Bryan will be safe with them.

Titus O’Neal vs. Antonio Cesaro

Titus has a stomach ache which likely means a bad ending to this one. He grabs a headlock on Cesaro but gets dropkicked down, sending Titus into the ropes to hold his stomach. Titus jumps over Cesaro in the corner and kicks him in the face, only to make himself hurt more from the bark. Cesaro knees him in the stomach and puts on the Swing but Young comes in for the DQ at 2:00.

Titus is sick in JBL’s hat (censored of course) for the payoff. Zeb makes fun of Titus so he gets sick on Colter as well. This went on WAY too long.

The Raw ReBound covers the main event.

Tag Titles: Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield

Reigns and Rollins are challenging and Ambrose is on commentary. We get some big match intros and we’re ready to go. Cody grabs a headlock to start on Rollins as Cole asks if the Authority had anything to do with Shield attacking Punk on Monday. Apparently Cole doesn’t have clearance to get that answer so Ambrose says it’s Shield’s personal business. Cody slams Rollins down and brings in Goldust for a middle rope ax handle to the arm. Back to Cody who gets two off the front suplex and it’s back to the arm.

Reigns comes in and you can feel the match change in a hurry. Goldust bows up to fight him but is easily knocked to the floor. Back in and Reigns scores with an uppercut but gets caught by a dropkick for no cover. Everything breaks down for a bit with the champions clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Cody working on Seth’s arm but not being able to hit the Alabama Slam out of the corner. Instead Seth sunset flips him down for two and kicks Cody in the head for the same.

The announcers talk about brothers being tag team champions and Ambrose asks a question we need a definitive answer to: are Edge and Christian brothers or not? Reigns comes in for some pounding before it’s quickly back to Rollins who chokes on the ropes. Cody gets caught in a front facelock by Reigns before getting dropped by a back elbow. Rollins comes back in but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor.

The hot tag brings in Goldust who clotheslines Reigns down a few times and a cross body gets one. Reigns breaks up the top rope cross body and sends Goldust to the floor as we take another break. Back with Goldust in trouble and being knocked into the corner by Rollins. We hit the chinlock on Goldust but he grabs a small package for two. A DDT puts Rollins down but Reigns knocks Cody off the apron to break up the hot tag.

Reigns clotheslines Goldust down for two and puts on a headlock. Goldust is taken into the Shield corner but comes out with a double clothesline to put everyone down. Now the hot tag brings in Cody with a missile dropkick and a sunset flip gets two on Rollins. Seth counters the moonsault press and sends Cody face first into the buckle to put him down.

Everything breaks down again and Goldust is sent into the barricade. Cody comes off the top with a nice plancha to take out both Shield members. Back in and Rollins avoids the moonsault press but misses the top rope knee. Cross Rhodes puts Seth out but Ambrose breaks it up for the DQ at 16:03 shown of 23:03.

Rating: B-. Do I really need to explain that a Shield match is good at this point? Yeah they do a lot of the same stuff in a lot of their matches, but they’re some of the most entertaining matches we’ve gotten this year. Cody and Goldust have awesome chemistry with these guys also so this was your usual very good TV match.

Post match here’s Punk with a chair to take out Shield. Vickie pops up on screen and makes it a six man tag.

Shield vs. CM Punk/Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The match is joined in progress as we come back with Punk pounding away on Ambrose in the corner. An elbow to the head gets two for Punk and it’s back to Goldust for a clothesline. That’s enough of the golden one so here’s Cody to pound on Dean in the corner a bit more. A backdrop out of the corner puts Ambrose down and here’s Punk again with a top rope ax handle to the head.

Ambrose avoids a charge in the corner and it’s off to Rollins, who is immediately taken down in a modified Indian deathlock. Back to Goldust to stay on the leg and here’s Cody for more of the same. JBL goes on a rant against Cole for reporting about the locker room, which somehow leads to him accusing Shield of helping Stanley Kubrick stage the moon landing. The tag champions stay on Rollins until Punk comes in with a backbreaker for two. There’s the bridging Indian deathlock with the facelock before it’s off to Cody for a half crab.

Rollins avoids a charge in the corner and brings in Ambrose as we take another break. Back with Dean slamming Cody down but charging into a boot in the corner, allowing for a tag to Punk. CM fires off his usual strikes followed by the swinging neckbreaker. He loads up the GTS….and here are the Wyatts. Punk charges at them but runs into Dean’s elbow and a beating from Reigns ensues. Back to Dean but Punk DDTs him at the same time Rollins is caught in a neckbreaker for a cool double team. Punk goes over to Goldust but the Wyatts pull Goldust to the floor for the DQ at 5:50 shown of 9:20.

Rating: C. This was much less interesting than the previous match. There’s only so much you can do with this much time, especially when Punk didn’t get to extract much revenge here. It wasn’t bad or anything but two tag matches in a row like this with mostly the same cast is a bit of a stretch.

Post match the brawl continues until the Usos and Mysterio head out for the save. Vickie comes out to make it a twelve man tag. Good grief.

Shield/Wyatt Family vs. Usos/Rey Mysterio/CM Punk/Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Back with Ambrose bringing in Harper to work over Jey Uso. Harper runs him over a few times but gets rolled up for two, meaning it’s time for Rollins to come in and stomp away. Seth stomps away in the corner and it’s off to bray for his hard hitting offense. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll into a front facelock but Jimmy gets in a cheap shot from the apron.

Rey comes in off the 495^th hot tag of the matches but can’t knock the big man down. Instead it’s a big boot to Rey’s face for two and another tag to Wyatt. Bray hits a running splash in the corner and brings in Rowan for a swinging bearhug. A side slam gets two on Mysterio and it’s back to Ambrose for a front facelock. Rey gets sent into the corner and here’s Rollins, only to accidentally send Ambrose to the floor.

Mysterio gets in a kick to Seth’s head and it’s yet ANOTHER hot tag to Punk. He cleans house again and hits the suicide dive to Rowan on the floor. Back in and Punk hits three straight high knees to Erick in the corner. A neckbreaker sets up the Macho Elbow and everything breaks down. The Usos superkick two monsters and hit their dives on Harper and Rollins. Bray breaks up the GTS attempt on Rollins but Rey breaks up Sister Abigail. The 619 knocks Rowan into the GTS for the pin at 8:47.

Rating: D. Is it over yet? I’m almost afraid to say anything else about the match because it’ll probably turn into a 32 man tag match next. This went WAY too long and almost nothing had any interest to it by the end. We’ve seen these guys fighting so many times over the last few months and the last two parts of this dragged really badly. It wasn’t that it was a bad match but I was sick of watching these guys by the end.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t work for me. The three tag matches are almost literally half of the show and the rest of the show is a bunch of thrown together nothing. For once, Impact had this show beaten. Last night’s Impact was another throw away show because of the holiday, but it actually had some storyline development. We got NOTHING here other than a tag match that went on twice as long as it should have. It wasn’t so much that the show was bad but it just didn’t matter at all, meaning there was no reason to sit through it.

Results

Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel – World’s Strongest Slam

Los Matadores/El Torito b. Plymouth Rockers – Double Angle Slam to McIntyre

Tons of Funk b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth – Middle rope splash to Woods

Antonio Cesaro b. Titus O’Neal via DQ when Darren Young interfered

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Shield via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered

Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk b. Shield via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

Cody Rhodes/Goldust/CM Punk/Rey Mysterio b. Shield/Wyatt Family – GTS to Rowan

 

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