ECW on Sci-Fi – December 16, 2006: Matt Striker Is The Best Villain Around Here

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: December 16, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

This is a special Saturday show, likely due to Sci-Fi airing some horrible movie. The main story is who will be Lashley’s next challenger since Big Show has left the company. It’s not clear if Heyman will still be the main villain but he wasn’t long for WWE either at this point due to how awful December to Dismember came off. Let’s get to it.

We open with another recap of Lashley winning the title at December to Dismember as well as Lashley beating Big Show again last week.

Theme song.

Tonight it’s Lashley vs. the security guards.

Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Test shoves him into the corner to start and stomps him down, only to have Rob come right back with kicks of his own. They aren’t exactly thinking outside the box so far. A spinwheel kick sends Test to the floor and Rob hits a flip dive over the top to take him down again. Rob’s slingshot legdrop gets two but Test sends him into the post to take over. Rob tries to go up top but gets shoved out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Test working on the arm (not the one that went into the post but at least he’s trying) before slamming Van Dam down. Test goes up but dives into a boot to put both guys on the mat. Rob kicks him in the face a few times but rolls into a clothesline in the corner to give the Canadian control again. Test misses his big boot and crotches himself on the top, allowing Rob to hit a springboard kick to the face for a close two. The Five Star misses so Rob tries a sunset flip, only to have Test fall on top and grab the rope for the pin.

Rating: D. I know Test gets a lot of flack at times and this match is a good example of why he deserves it. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when we came back with him working on the wrong arm. That’s so basic of an idea that it just shouldn’t be able to screw it up. It’s LEFT AND RIGHT for crying out loud. On top of that the guy just isn’t interesting as a villain at all. Why should I believe Test is a major threat to anyone when all he can do is grab a rope for a pin? Just bad stuff from Test here.

Here’s Matt Striker for his Classroom segment. He insults Boston as the child of the American Revolution, saying it should have been aborted. Striker rips on various Boston icons such as Red Auerback, John Kerry and Ted Kennedy. This brings out Balls Mahoney….who is beaten down by Striker without breaking a sweat.

Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke talk about how awesome they are.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk armdrags and elbows Holly down to start and gets two off a clothesline. A snap suplex gets the same but Hardcore takes him into the corner and ties him up in the ropes. Punk charges into a boot in the corner but comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down. Holly gets kicked and forearmed down for two but he counters the bulldog out of the corner and punches Punk in the head over and over for the DQ.

Rating: F. Give me a break. And a new heel please.

Post match Punk puts Holly in the Vice and makes him tap, BECAUSE HEAVEN FORBID HOLLY HAS TO TAP IN THE MATCH.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Dreamer wants Khali but gets a talkative Daivari instead. Daivari punches him to get things going and rakes Dreamer’s eyes, only to be caught coming out of the corner. A reverse DDT puts Daivari down and a regular DDT gets the pin for Dreamer in less than a minute.

Post match, Khali Plunges Dreamer again. Are we really building to Khali vs. Dreamer?

We recap Knox dumping Kelly last week.

Bobby Lashley vs. Security Guards

The guards are in masks and this is non-title. There’s no Heyman in sight so I’d assume he’s gone for good now. Lashley treats the guards (the Bashams but never revealed as such) like the dolts they are and throws them into each other over and over. One of the guards hits Bobby with a nightstick as the tagging phase begins. Lashley is beaten down for a few seconds but comes back with ease and throws the guards into each other some more. A spear puts one of them down and the Dominator is enough to get Lashley the pin.

Rating: D-. After the show they’ve put on so far, they really thought this was the right ending? Lashley barely broke a sweat here and destroyed the guards like they weren’t even there at all. How in the world is this supposed to be interesting? I know Vince loves the idea of Lashley because he’s big and muscular, but you need more than that to be a character.

Post match Lashley beats up the guards again to hammer the point home.

Overall Rating: G. Either for below an F or Good Grief this was horrid. Let this sink in for a second: Matt Striker was the best looking heel at the end of this show. The security was easily dispatched, Holly tapped out, Test is too stupid to remember left from right and Daivari lost in 55 seconds. Who is supposed to challenge Lashley? Other than Khali maybe, who would come off as a threat to him? This show needs a major overhaul and it needs one soon.

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