No Way Out 2008: Reach For The Brass Ring Jeff

We’ve FINALLY moved past the brand exclusive shows and into the Elimination Chamber years. There are two of them tonight so I’m rather interested in this show. I figured since I hadn’t watched a No Way Out in a month before I put up the 07 show that I might as well just finish the series so it isn’t Mania time before it goes up. Anyway, both of the matches tonight are for the title shots rather than the belts, as Cena is cashing in his Rumble win TONIGHT to get a shot at Orton. Odd but ok. Other than that there’s Edge vs. Rey for the Smackdown Title and that’s about it. Just 6 matches on the card this year. Let’s get to it.

Oh and also, the whole adding in the Chamber popped the buyrate from about 218,000 up to 329,000. In short, IT WORKED.

The opening video talks about how the Road to Wrestlemania has led us here. The theme song is Fake It by Seether which is an awesome song so I like the transitional stuff for once.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo had taken the title from Punk and this is his rematch. We get a quick recap which involved something about a fiesta which I never thought was that great. We hear some of Tazz during this video which we weren’t supposed to hear. We also recap the Gulf of Mexico match which wasn’t much either. Crowd is entirely behind Punk.

Chavo sends him to the floor early and tries to get a countout early. In a cool spot with Punk on his stomach Chavo hits a front flip onto his back for two. Off to a body scissors as Punk is in trouble. Punk comes back and gets a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into a rana and a tornado DDT gets two.

Punk does Eddie’s dance to tick off the crowd a bit. He goes nearly full heel as he hits Three Amigos. Knee and bulldog get two as Chavo gets his foot on the rope. Punk keeps going off on Chavo, beating on him on the floor which gets two as we’re back in the ring now. Punk kicks him in the head and goes to the corner for a top rope rana but is shoved off and the Frog Splash keeps the title on Chavo. Kind of an abrupt ending.

Rating: C+. This was more or less a TV main event but not bad. Chavo getting a clean pin after needing Edge to get the title in the first place is a good thing for him. The ECW Title would start going to monsters soon as Kane would win it at Mania in 8 seconds. Anyway, this wasn’t bad but it was short and too abrupt for my tastes.

We recap Smackdown where Rey messed up Edge’s proposal to Vickie. This was the start of Vickie in a wheelchair. Mike Adamle talks to Rey who says he’s not sorry but it was an accident. Rey has a torn bicep apparently but he’s going to wrestle anyway. Floyd Mayweather pops up and is friends with Rey apparently.

Jericho is getting ready for his Chamber match later.

LOWER THE CHAMBER!

We get a quick highlight reel of Chamber matches over the years.

Great Khali vs. Undertaker vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Batista vs. Big Daddy V

Winner gets the Smackdown World Title match at Mania. MVP is US Champion here. In case you’re not familiar with the rules, you start with two in the ring and four in small pods. Every four minutes another person is released. You can be eliminated by pinfall or submission but it has to be in the ring. Last man standing wins. Matt Striker is Big Daddy V’s manager which I had forgotten about.

Finlay’s music is so bad here it’s not even funny. It does not fit at all, but at least he doesn’t have Horny with him here. Apparently it’s Horny vs. Vince tomorrow night. That led to JBL destroying Horny and setting up a surprisingly good hardcore match with Finlay vs. JBL at Mania. We start with Batista vs. Undertaker. I think that’s sufficient enough don’t you?

Taker slams the door shut and it’s on. We have the camera shot of the ring kind of blocked by the cage but it’s nothing you can really ignore. They slug it out early on with Batista surprisingly winning. There’s a camera in the ring which helps a lot but they don’t use it that often. We head out to the cage floor and Batista is in trouble. And never mind as he gets a boot in to send Taker back into the ring.

They slow it down a bit as we’re waiting on the next guy to come in with less than a minute to go. Batista takes over and gets booed LOUDLY. Ok it’s been four minutes and no one has come in yet. Is it five perhaps? More like four and a half apparently as both guys are down. Big Daddy V is in third to loud booing. V destroys both guys for awhile just because he can.

He doesn’t do much aside from choking and chopping. And now we get really stupid as Taker is knocked through the door and hits the floor. Nice job guys. Taker might have tweaked his knee as he fell. V splashes his as he comes back in just to be a jerk. Running splash crushes Batista too. Batista finally wakes up and gets a VERY good spinebuster to V considering the enormous gravitational pull of V’s fat. Taker gets a DDT on the steel and apparently you can get a pin out there as Batista gets rid of V.

Khali is in fourth just after V goes out and the beating continues. I think the fans are chanting USA but it’s not that clear. Taker hammers on Khali but can’t get the chokeslam. Punjabi Plunge gets two so instead of going after the weak Taker, Khali goes after the rested Batista like a stupid man. Vice Grip to Batista has him in trouble. And never mind as he breaks out and hits a spear to put Khali down.

Taker knocks Singh off the cage with a kick and then gets Hell’s Gate to eliminate Khali but he won’t let go. Back to Taker vs. Batista as we just kill time (which has been over five minutes since the next guy came in but whatever) until Finlay comes in. He comes in but Taker kicks him in the face to put him right down. Cole calls the STEEL chain concrete-like as Finlay gets the Celtic Cross for two.

Batista gets a slingshot to send Finlay into the cage. After a brief skirmish between the only two guys with a chance to win this, Finlay takes Deadman to the outside and wortks him over a bit. Finlay manages to send Taker through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY, glass. We finally get to MVP’s countdown with them not even trying to hide the lack of caring about the clock anymore.

Taker stands in front of MVP’s pod to wait on him and hammers away on him in the pod. Everyone is in now. MVP gets a Drive By to Batista and one to Taker as well, getting two on the taller one. MVP finds a chain from somewhere to choke away on Finlay for a bit. Taker is busted after a shot with the chain. He gets up and stares down MVP. The no selling of punches begins.

MVP tries to hide on the top of a pod but here comes the dude that sleeps with McCool. He grabs MVP by the throat and throws him over his head (called a reverse chokeslam which works as well as anything else) so Finlay can get the pin. Taker misses a top rope elbow to Finlay and all three guys are down. And here’s Horny from under the cage to send in the Irish club that I can’t spell to Finlay.

A shot to the head with it gets two on Batista so Undertaker chokeslams Finlay onto the cage which gets us down to one on one. Batista is busted open too. They do a long slow start and then slug it out. Crowd says yay for Taker so you can tell he’s far more popular. Batista Bomb hits rather soon for two, making the fourth finisher that Taker has kicked out of (Bomb, Plunge, Drive By, Celtic Cross).

Then we get proof that Batista is a very stupid man as he goes for multiple punches on the middle rope. As has happened to EVERYONE THAT HAS DONE THAT TO UNDERTAKER IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS, the Last Ride hits for a long two. Dude your mentor was HHH. Did you never watch their Wrestlemania match? Taker mounts him and throws bombs. Batista sends him out to the cage but he sets like a powerslam and tries to ram Taker’s head in again. Taker shoves off the cage, drops to his feet from Animal’s shoulders and hooks the Tombstone in the ring to set up Taker vs. Edge at Mania. Sweet, sweet ending.

Rating: C+. The big problem here should be really obvious: there was ZERO chance anyone named Batista or Undertaker wasn’t winning here and everyone knew it. They started the match, the dominated it, and they ended it. That’s fine as they had mad chemistry together and the stuff they did was good, but did we need four extra guys in there and 30 minutes to get us here? It’s ok but it’s one of the weaker Chamber matches for sure.

The Edgeheads (Hawkins and Ryder) tell Edge that Taker is 15-0 at Mania which Edge more or less shakes off. Edge tries to set up a plan for later but Teddy comes in. He bands Hawkins and Ryder from ringside just because he can.

Mania ad with a bad Baywatch parody.

We get a clip of Maria and Ashley at the Playboy mansion as Maria was the Playboy chick this year, which was awesome stuff.

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Kennedy

Career threatening match here as if Flair loses he has to retire. Who why is Jeff Hardy suddenly underwater? Oh that’s just the logo for the show. Creepy much? Flair’s knee is taped and Kennedy struts to start. Apparently Kennedy is the future of the WWE and a win over Flair will define his career. Why would that be the case? If he can’t beat a guy that was over the hill five years ago and 20 years past his prime, what kind of future does he have anyway?

Kennedy works on the knee with a half crab like a smart man. Flair shouts an expletive which is of course censored. Figure Four on the post gets a Bret Hart reference. BIG slap to Flair, who has had no offense at all so far that I can remember. Regular Figure Four goes on from Kennedy but he’s no Jay Lethal so it doesn’t work.

Kennedy can’t manage to break a 60 year old’s legs and the fight is on again. The fireman’s carry rolling slam gets two. JR asks why Kennedy doesn’t get himself disqualified. Maybe because it would mean Flair is still active and it would gain him nothing? Flair hits a chop block and goes after the knee.

Kennedy counters into the anal displaying rollup for two with the ropes but gets caught cheating so it only gets two. Figure Four is countered again into a small package for two. There’s the Figure Four for real and of course a 60 year old man gets in two shots to the knee and a basic hold is enough to beat one of the young hot shots on the roster. Makes perfect sense no?

Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good. It was the epitome of a Raw match and not a very good one at all. Flair hit all of three moves and managed to win clean. I get that he can’t lose, but it looks stupid to see him go over these young guys clean every time. How does that help anyone at all, especially when Flair is leaving in a few weeks? I don’t get it but whatever.

Vince says to Finlay that he’s going to hurt Horny tomorrow.

JBL is worried about the Chamber.

We recap Edge vs. Rey and of course, it’s PERSONAL. We see part of the first match they had at the Rumble where Vickie got out of her wheelchair and took a 619. That set up the apology thing which set up the engagement thing. And of course we get back to the Guerrero name and all that jazz.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Winner gets Undertaker at Mania. And remember Rey has a really bad and legit arm injury. Floyd Mayweather is in the front row. Edge’s theme song is still awesome. Rey keeps dodging to start but hurts his arm on a rana. Rey hits the floor and Edge gets a baseball slide to send Rey’s arm into the floor and then into the steps.

Rey is caught in the Tree of Woe but Edge misses a baseball slide to send Edge’s balls into the post. Sorry Vickie. Moonsault press gets two as Rey can’t hook a leg. Rey gets a 619 out of almost nowhere but Edge beats him to his feet due to the arm. He tries for a springboard something, but Edge spears him out of the air to pin him clean. This didn’t even run six minutes so you can tell Rey was hurt badly.

Rating: C. Yes this was a pretty bad match, but major points to Rey for gutting it out and doing what he could. He was barely able to do anything out there but he tried which is all you can ask for at the end of the day. The arm was the focal point of the match so that makes sense. They’ve had better matches before when both were healthy so it’s almost impossible to blame this on anything but the arm. Bad match, but not their fault at all.

Here’s Big Show for absolutely no apparent reason. He’s a face at this point, but that would get thrown out the window for the next few weeks. Apparently this is a return of some sort. Oh wow this is his return from his hiatus after December to Dismember. He’s lost 108 pounds which is rather impressive and actually looks legit.

And never mind the face part as he hits the floor and grabs Rey by the throat and smacks him in the arm, saying does your arm hurt. He gets in Mayweather’s face a bit but drags Rey back into the ring. Floyd’s team tries to keep him back but since WWE security is TERRIBLE, Mayweather gets in. There’s no commentary here. Show shoves him and gets down on his knees. Mayweather goes right at him and lands three or four bombs, apparently legitimately breaking Show’s nose. Floyd runs and we have our Mania match.

Mania is 42 days away.

Jeff Hardy is getting ready. Check for any flat surface with powder on it.

Adamle is with some fans and can’t remember the company he’s in. We recap Cena vs. Orton which started with Orton hurting Cena (it was actually Kennedy I think but Orton was #1 contender so that sounded better). This set up the EPIC return at the Rumble which no one, I mean NO ONE, saw coming. Cena won, but is cashing in tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton isn’t quite hearing voices yet which is good for me as I like his old music better. There’s the bell and they’re going for the big epic feeling here, which is getting pretty close actually. Cena gets a small package for two almost immediately. Orton gets in a shot to the ribs and the beating is on. Cena’s bulldog out of nowhere gets two.

Orton comes back as neither guy has had anything as far as an extended advantage in the first three minutes or so. Cena keeps going for quick wins with rollups and covers off weaker moves while Orton is trying to slow it down and take away Cena’s momentum. The crowd is split here for the most part. He counters the elevated DDT and gets the top rope Fameasser from the top for a close two.

FU is countered and Orton goes after the knee/ankle. Since that makes no sense he stomps away on the bad shoulder/pectoral area that Cena had hurt and caused him to be put out for awhile. Makes sense. Orton can’t get a knee drop on the pec and we hit the chinlock as is Orton’s custom. Cena gets the Protoplex out of nowhere and with a point to the Mania sign, Orton can’t see him. I have no idea what the connection is but Cena is rocking the serious stare here so don’t question it.

FU can’t hit again though and Orton hits the floor. At 9 and a half they both fly into the ring to prevent the double countout. Back in and Orton catches Cena in the backbreaker, although Orton may have tweaked his knee. Crowd is all over Cena here. A middle rope suplex is shoved off but Cena misses another Fameasser. Orton starts that slithering stuff he tends to do but the RKO is countered and Cena gets the STFU!

Orton gets a rope and heads to the floor, holding his knee. He DEMANDS that the referee count him out but was playing possum. RKO hits on the floor and Cena is legally dead. Somehow he manages to get back in without the help of a yellow sun as Orton is shocked. And there’s a slap to the referee for the DQ to prevent Cena from winning the title which isn’t as bad of an ending as it seems, because now Cena has used his title shot. He lands an FU and the STFU post match but it doesn’t mean much.

Rating: B-. I liked this pretty well although it’s no classic or anything. I like the ending as it fits something that a heel would do to keep the title. Cena is out of a chance at Mania but of course he would fight Orton there anyway, although with HHH thrown in for fun. The fans doing the GOODBYE song is funny stuff as he was absolutely loathed in this match. Decent match and one of the better ones they’ve had actually.

Orton lays in the ring as the fans chant THANK YOU RANDY. This is funny stuff.

HHH is sitting in the back and Shawn comes up. HBK says this isn’t the appropriate time to shill merchandise or crack jokes and apologizes for what he might have to do out there. They say they’ll go through each other if they have to and that seems to be mutually ok.

The Chamber is lowered again and we get the winner of the mobile poll. Hardy, HHH and Shawn have the vast majority of the votes. The other three combine for 10%.

HHH vs. Umaga vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This should be a bit better don’t you think? The entrances take the better part of forever, especially HHH’s as he comes out first. Umaga is second and is pure filler in this match. I think he had Batista at Mania in a horrible match. Jeff gets a HUGE pop but it would be 9 months before he was in the world title scene again. He’s IC Champion here and would be suspended for a few months soon after this for Wellness.

It’ll be Jericho and Shawn starting us off. They would have their huge feud in about two months. Jericho is still a face here and it’s odd to see him in long tights with short hair. At least Shawn isn’t in the brown tights. Nice to hear Shawn come out to his own music rather than the DX song.

We get a rather technical start as this is far more or a wrestling match than a brawl so far which is a nice thing to see for once. They start slugging it out and Shawn nips up. The top rope elbow hits knees though and the best part about it: the elbow clearly would have hit had the knees not been there. Shawn tries to do the same thing to the Lionsault but Jericho grabs the Walls instead.

He can’t hook the hold though but Shawn can’t hook a Sharpshooter either. Both go for either cross bodies or a shoulder block as the time comes down. It’s Umaga and the beatdown is on. Both pretty boys are in trouble quickly as he takes both down with a clothesline. Shawn and Jericho team up to fight the monster off but he’s like screw it and hits a Samoan Drop on both guys at the same time (think Cena to Edge and Show at Mania).

Umaga kicks Shawn to the outside of the ring and hammers on Jericho for awhile. He goes up for a middle rope splash but can’t crush Jericho and here comes the Texas. In a cool spot Jericho gets the Walls and Shawn hooks the Crossface as JBL comes in at 4. He of course breaks up the Walls and hammers Jericho for awhile which isn’t incredibly smart. Shawn is busted open as JBL pounds down Jericho.

Umaga and Shawn fight in the ring until Shawn is thrown out to the steel again. After maybe two minutes HHH comes in to a somewhat mixed reaction that becomes cheering partway through. He hammers on Umaga, sending his head into Bradshaw’s. Umaga’s head is rammed into one of the metal beams on a pod. HHH goes after Jericho but takes the Clothesline From JBL, again for no apparent reason. For his troubles JBL takes a Codebreaker and is out first.

Before he leaves though JBL grabs a chair and drills everyone with some HARD shots to the head. Here comes Jeff, just in time. Umaga is the only one up as the crack head comes in. Slingshot dropkick to Shawn as Jeff cleans house. DX comes after him but he hits a Whisper in the Wind. Pay no attention to HHH falling backwards before it hits too. Now the Samoan comes back and destroys various people.

Umaga gets a running hip smash to Jericho’s head through the BULLETPROOF glass, which should kill him but since it’s WWE he’s up enough to get a Codebreaker just after Chin Music. A Pedigree is added and after a Swanton is the fourth finisher off a pod, Umaga is FINALLY gone. Shawn hits Jericho with Chin Music and Jeff steals a pin. Pedigree and Twist of Fate take care of Shawn. Those three eliminations happened in less than 45 seconds.

We’re down to HHH vs. Hardy now for the Mania spot. Jeff gets a DDT on the steel but can’t get a cover as his back is hurt from the landing. Jeff goes the heck off on HHH who can barely stand. Jeff counters a Pedigree with a backdrop but can’t get the Swanton. Pedigree hits but gets two as the pop blows the roof off for a few seconds. Twist of Fate on the chair is reversed and a Pedigree onto it ends this, sending HHH to Mania.

Rating: B+. Much better match here with this being a war throughout, especially with four guys combining to take out Umaga. Granted when he or JBL is the worst guy in there rather than Khali or Big Daddy V things can go a bit better. It was also far more violent and while it was pretty clear HHH or Hardy would win, there was a chance Shawn or Jericho could pull it off. That and shaving off five minutes helped too.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show but much like TLC was last week, they didn’t try to have a great show but rather a flashy one which worked just as well. It went by far faster than the previous year’s and was definitely an upgrade. They would have another the next year with the titles on the line and it wouldn’t be as good. Anyway this wasn’t bad but it would have been better with one less Chamber match and another match added on instead. Still decent though.

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