Monday Night Raw – December 9, 2013: Fear the Beard, Believe in the Shield and Cena….with the Authority?

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Date: December 9, 2013
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The opening is like a big time awards show, talking about what will be announced tonight and talking about who will be here.

Jerry Lawler and Booker T are hosting the awards while Cole and JBL handle commentary.

We open with an explanation of how to download the WWE App. Expect to hear that a lot tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango

Bryan is the hometown boy and has a new shirt. Daniel leapfrogs Fandango to start and dropkicks him down but gets kneed in the ribs for two. Fandango suplexes Bryan down, only to be sent face first into the middle buckle. Bryan pounds him down and hooks the surfboard knee crusher followed by a kick to the chest for two. A sidestep sends Bryan to the floor but Fandango misses a dive, setting up the FLYING GOAT. Bryan hits a running dropkick up against the barricade and we head back inside. Fandango is staggered but manages to catch Bryan coming off the top in a sitout powerbomb for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan hitting the running clothesline and shaking like the reincarnated Ultimate Warrior. There are the YES Kicks as the Washington crowd goes nuts. The big kick misses so badly that Cole has to acknowledge it but Bryan gets two anyway. Bryan misses the running dropkick in the corner and gets suplexed down for two. Fandango misses the guillotine legdrop but Bryan hits the Swan Dive followed by the running knee to the face for the pin at 9:18.

Here are Jerry and Booker for our first award of the night. Up first is the Laugh Out Loud Award, presented by the New Age Outlaws, clad in powder blue and neon orange tuxedos, complete with top hats ala Dumb and Dumber. Road Dogg can talk just as fast as he used to. They do some of their schtick but get cut off by a ONE MORE MATCH chant. Billy tries to do the catchphrase but gets cut off.

The nominees are:

Vickie Guerrero being fired and freaking out

Rock singing about Vickie Guerrero

Apparently we have to wait for the winner to be announced later because voting is still going on.

Back from a break and Rock wins the award. Vickie comes out to take the trophy and say the award represents her beauty.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Langston and Sandow stare each other down post match.

Mark Henry faking retirement

Shawn Michaels superkicking Daniel Bryan inside the Cell

Paul Heyman costing CM Punk MITB

HHH Pedigreeing Daniel Bryan at Summerslam

The winner is again after a break.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Post match Kofi kicks Miz in the head like a sore loser.

Eve Torres returns to present Diva of the Year. The nominees are:

The Bella Twins

Funkadactyls

Kaitlyn

Natalya

Eva Marie

AJ Lee

After a break the Bella Twins win and are booed out of the building.

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel

How to download the WWE App The Sequel!

Booker and Jerry bring out Shawn Michaels to present Superstar of the Year. First though, Shawn declares himself Mr. Slammy. Also, since Shawn was always giving A+ performances, maybe we should call the award the H-B-Shizzle? Anyway, the nominees are:

Brock Lesnar

CM Punk

Big Show

Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton

John Cena

An hour and fifteen minutes in, this show is dedicated to Nelson Mandela. I really hope that was at the beginning of the show as well.

Bryan wins to set up the confrontation with Michaels. Bryan thanks the fans for giving him the H-B-Shizzle Award but also thanks Shawn for costing him the world title. This award is because of the people rather than what the Authority wants. Oh and GO SEAHAWKS.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

A Russell Wilson MVP (Seahawks quarterback) chant starts up as Del Rio is sent into the barricade. Back in and the corner enziguri puts Cara down but Alberto misses what looked to be a dropkick, even though Cara was on the mat. Del Rio rolls to the floor before the Swanton can launch and we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding a chinlock but Cara fighting out and dropkicking Alberto down for two. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto and he takes Sin outside to send him into the barricade.

Back in and we hit another chinlock before the low superkick gets two for Del Rio. Cara avoids a charge into the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two. A handspring elbow gets the same but Del Rio hits the Codebreaker to the arm. Cara escapes the armbreaker and hits a rolling Angle Slam to put Alberto down. The Swanton takes too long to set up though and Cara gets crotched on the top. Del Rio loads up a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 11:04.

The Prime Time Players are here to present the Audience Presentation Award, which is basically best chant. They insert the Millions of Dollars dance as an honorable mention. The nominees are:

Fandango-ing

YES! YES! YES!

Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods

Woods goes right at him and pounds away in the corner, only to be powerbombed in half to stop the momentum. Brodus hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 39 seconds.

Post match Brodus destroys Woods with elbows and splashes. Woods appears to have hurt ribs.

Zeb Colter – Almost anything he said

Paul Heyman – Insulting CM Punk

Stephanie McMahon – Insulting Big Show before firing him

Stephanie wins, of course. She says what she said was a huge compliment because everyone knows it was best for business.

CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose

Punk has his face shoved into the mat for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. CM fights up and sends Dean chest first into the corner before throwing Ambrose outside to get a breather. The suicide dive takes Ambrose out but Punk has to keep an eye on the rest of the Shield as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose holding a headlock but getting belly to back suplexed down. Punk misses a dropkick and as per wrestling logic, he hurts himself despite landing the same way he would have had the move connected. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Ambrose and some forearms keep him in trouble. The knee in the corner sets up the Macho Elbow for two but Ambrose comes right back with a butterfly suplex.

Rating: B. As I said on Smackdown: this was exactly what you would expect from Punk vs. Ambrose when they get time. I wish they would let someone else lose the fall to Punk, but at least this time we got some storyline development as a result. Very solid TV match here as anyone would have expected.

We get the same video about what winning the world title means from Smackdown.

Mick Foley presents the Most Extreme Moment of the Year Award. The nominees are:

Shield putting Undertaker through a table in England

Ryback slamming Cena through the set in their last man standing match

CM Punk destroying Heyman on top of the Cell

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Bret Hart presents the Match of the Year Award. The nominees are:

CM Punk vs Undertaker – Wrestlemania 29

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Shield – Battleground

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar – Extreme Rules

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania 29

Natalya vs. Tamina Snuka

very tensely shake hands. The belts are raised and the brawl is on.

Punk goes after Orton but HHH throws Punk down. That earns the boss a beating but Shawn kicks Punk down to save his buddy. Bryan hits the running knee on Shawn but has to avoid an RKO, shoving Orton into Stephanie in the process (crowd: “YES! YES! YES”!). HHH Pedigrees Orton as Cena and Kane help Stephanie up. The fans chant for Bryan as Orton looks at the Authority and Cena to end the show.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Fandango – Running knee

The Miz b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup

Rey Mysterio/Big Show/Goldust/Cody Rhodes b. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel – Top rope splash to Axel

Sin Cara b. Alberto Del Rio – Swanton Bomb

Brodus Clay b. Xavier Woods – Middle rope splash

CM Punk b. Dean Ambrose – GTS

Wyatt Family b. Usos – Discus lariat to Jey