Smackdown – December 20, 2013: Wasn’t He….And Weren’t They….I Give Up

Smackdown
Date: December 20, 2013
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re getting closer to the end of the year and the main story coming out of Monday is the potential for a three way feud between Cena, Orton and Bryan. Daniel had the champion beaten but Orton cheated to get out of the match, drawing in Cena for the save. It should be interesting to hear Bryan’s thoughts on Cena running in to help him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Monday with Cena cutting Orton off and the Authority giving Orton a match with Daniel Bryan, because the last few months of the Authority trying to crush Bryan are completely forgotten. The match recap doesn’t do it justice.

Here’s Orton to brag about becoming undisputed champion some more. He only has the WWE Championship this week. Orton says the Authority rewarded him with a match against Daniel Bryan. Randy beat him then beat John Cena when he tries to interfere because he just doesn’t care. This brings out Cena as they’re moving fast tonight. Orton says Cena needs to respect him but Cena says he’s here to keep Orton from looking like a fool. If Orton doesn’t want to be a champion he should get out.

Orton is the center of the WWE and everyone is going to be hunting him. It’s up to Orton to determine how he wants to be remembered and on Monday he was a giant coward. Orton says he did what he had to do to win, but Cena points out the truth: Bryan won by DQ. Cena spent weeks telling us that Orton always runs away and takes the easy way out, hoping that Orton would come to fight at TLC. That’s exactly what happened, but the next night Orton was taking the easy way out again.

Randy says Bryan isn’t getting another rematch but here’s Daniel with something to say. He understands Orton is too afraid to give him a rematch because when Bryan beats him, the myth that Randy Orton is the best comes tumbling down. On top of that, Bryan knows that when Cena beats Orton for the title, he’ll get the shot he deserves. Orton says that’s never going to happen because the Authority won’t allow it. The fans don’t like that idea but here’s Shield to interrupt some more. Orton bails to the floor but here’s Punk to even the sides before Shield gets to the ring. Vickie comes out and makes one heck of a six man for later.

Jack Swagger vs. Big E. Langston

Colter has a sign saying Deport Santa Claus because he’s that awesome. This is non-title of course and was set up by the tag match from Raw. Zeb sits in on commentary and talks about confusing Santa Claus with Santa Anna since they were both singing Feliz Navidad. Langston runs Jack over to start but Swagger takes him into the corner to take over. A clothesline gets two and Langston gets caught in a front facelock. Big E. fights out of the hold and throws Swagger down, setting up the Warrior Splash for two. Henry runs Cesaro over for no apparent reason and the distraction lets Big E. hit the Big Ending for the pin at 2:54.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

AJ sits in on commentary and we get a clip of that great superkick to Nikki from Raw. Brie hits a quick cross body for two and sends Tamina out to the floor before slapping Snuka in the face. Tamina slams Brie down and kicks her in the ribs a few times. A knee drop gets the same as AJ wants to know why she has to keep defending against the same girls over and over. Cole asks if Tamina could get a shot but AJ says Tamina knows where her bread is buttered. “And she should know because I make a mean breakfast.”

Brie comes back with a running knee to the face and a middle rope dropkick. Cole talks about Brie getting engaged on the season finale of Total Divas, giving AJ this great jab: “She’s engaged? That should make her #1 contender!” As a follow up Cole asks if AJ has been asked to be part of season two. “No. I was hugged as a child and don’t need the attention.” Tamina comes back with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees, giving Brie the rollup pin at 3:04.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special outside of that superkick but AJ’s commentary made this far more entertaining. The line about making Tamina breakfast got a laugh out of me and everything she said about the reality show is true. Why should she keep defending the title against the same girls she’s beaten time after time? Some of the comments she made could be planting seeds for Tamina to turn on her as well which makes things more interesting.

Brie shoves AJ down post match.

Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is quickly sent over the top rope, followed by a nice flip dive by the masked man. Back inside and a high cross body gets two on McIntyre but he throws Sin down. A knee drop has Cara in trouble but he jumps over Drew in the corner and armdrags him down. I can’t imagine how badly the original Sin Cara would have botched that. A handspring elbow gets two on McIntyre before a kick to the head sets up a Swanton Bomb for the pin at 2:05. Just a step above a squash here. JBL gets in his line about how it’s like a new Sin Cara.

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and drives shoulders into Brodus’ ample gut. A clothesline drops Clay but he avoids the backsplash. Clay hits a pair of splashes in the corner and a running splash gets two. Another splash gets no cover and Brodus does the dinosaur claws dance. Cue the Funkadactyls with Xavier Woods for the distraction and, say it with me, Tensai rolls Brodus up for the pin at 1:45. I have no idea how this is supposed to help either guy but I’m sure it will be explained to me later.

Tensai and Woods beat up Brodus post match, setting up a dance party.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Wyatt Family

Non-title again, meaning you can probably pencil in the brothers for a loss. Goldust and Erick get things going but Rowan doesn’t move for the deep breath. Instead Goldust punches the mask off of him, only to get shoulder blocked down. Goldust comes back with some right hands, sending Rowan off to the corner for the tag to Harper. Off to Cody who brings Harper into the champions’ corner before bringing Goldust right back in.

Luke takes over with some uppercuts to the jaw and drags Goldust out to the corner for the tag to Rowan. Erick is at the top of his weak offensive game here with choking, stomping and right hands. Harper comes back in with an uppercut for two with that disturbing look on his face. Goldust fights back but misses a cross body, sending him out to the floor and right in front of Wyatt as we take a break.

Back with Harper Gator rolling Goldust as Cole asks about Sister Abigail. Rowan comes back in for a claw hold and a big toss across the ring. Goldust finally gets an elbow up in the corner to stop a charging Rowan but Harper breaks up the hot tag attempt. A DDT puts Harper down a second later and there’s the tag off to Rhodes.

Cody speeds things up with a springboard missile dropkick followed by the Disaster Kick to Harper. The moonsault press gets two but Rowan makes the save. Goldust sends him to the floor and dives off the apron to take him down, but Wyatt hits a quick big boot to Goldust’s jaw. Harper picks Cody up by the ears (this guy really is evil) and takes his head off with the discus lariat for the pin at 11:04 shown of 14:34.

Rating: C+. The losing streak is here and there’s nothing that can be done about it. These recurring ideas are all the proof you need that a change in the booking is desperately needed. Earlier tonight we had the distraction into the rollup and now we have the losing streak. That’s roughly 40% of all the ideas they have and they used them in less than half an hour.

Post match Bray leans upside down in the corner as he goes after Cody, drawing out Bryan with a chair to take out the Family. He takes Bray down and pounds away but has to fight off Rowan which allows Bray to escape.

Damien Sandow doesn’t like Christmas. It’s nothing but a bunch of adults asking for stuff they don’t need, children asking for things they haven’t earned, and filthy houses with ugly decorations. That’s why he’s going to cancel Christmas this coming Monday, but he’s cut off by….Miz, who I thought was a heel. Miz gives him the “really” treatment and says he knows Santa. They celebrate Santa where he comes from and Sandow couldn’t carry Santa’s sack.

The Miz vs. Damien Sandow

Miz takes him into the corner to start and scores with some clotheslines. Sandow tries to get a boot up in the corner but Miz wraps it around the ropes and kicks at the knee. The Figure Four goes on but Sandow gets to the rope. A rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Miz at 1:28. I have no idea what the point of this match was as the promo could have done the same thing. Mark Henry fighting to save Christmas from the Latin speaking Sandow Claus is going to be glorious though.

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Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango

Kofi gets the jobber entrance as JBL calls Fandango a male Shakira. “His hips don’t lie.” Cole: “….oh God.” Fandango grabs a headlock to start but Kofi comes back with a dropkick. A clothesline gets two on Kingston and Fandango pounds some elbows into Kofi’s chest. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Kofi avoids a middle rope knee drop. Kofi comes back with some chops and a dropkick followed by the Boom Drop. Fandango bails to the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise and trips Kofi to send him to the mat. The guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D. I guess it’s time to push Fandango again and we’re going with Miz as a face again. Fandango has potential and thankfully his character has evolved past the point of just dancing and saying his name. Kofi continues to be in the same spot on the card as always and he’ll still be over no matter what happens to him.

The Wyatts jump Bryan in the back, presumably taking him out of the six man later. Bray drops to his knees and says “ashes ashes, we all fall down.” The Family throws him off a ledge which appeared to be a few feet high.

Shield vs. CM Punk/John Cena

Still works for me. Punk and Ambrose get things going with CM going after the arm. Ambrose is driven into the corner and it’s off to Cena for a shoulder block. The bulldog puts Dean down again and it’s back to Punk who gets two off a middle rope elbow. We take a break and come back with Reigns holding Cena for a kick from Rollins. Back to Ambrose to pepper Cena with with right hands but John belly to back suplexes him to get a breather.

The rest doesn’t last long though as Reigns comes in with headbutts and a lot of shouting. There’s the awesome Superman Punch before it’s off to Rollins for a forearm to Cena’s face. Cena avoids a charge in the corner but rolls towards Shield, allowing Rollins to tag out to Ambrose. Dean hits a dropkick up against the ropes before it’s back to Rollins for some right hands in the corner.

Cena is sat on the top rope but headbutts Rollins down to escape a superplex. Ambrose comes back in but walks into a tornado DDT. There’s the hot tag to Punk who takes Ambrose down with a leg lariat and hits a running knee to Rollins’ chin. Seth rolls to the floor for a suicide dive followed by the running knee in the corner back inside. The Macho Elbow looks to set up the GTS but Ambrose breaks it up. Punk drops of them with the neckbreaker/DDT combo for two on Rollins. Reigns makes the save and Shield triple teams Punk for the DQ at 9:48 shown of 13:18.

Rating: C+. Good match as you would expect from these guys but the ending was lame. Cena sold the heck out of that beating by staying down as long as he did but there might have been more done to him on the floor. This keeps the Punk vs. Shield going which could keep tying him into the Authority.

Cena comes in for the save but Reigns hits the spear to take him down. Punk is about to take the Triple Bomb but Cena makes another save. The superheroes are in trouble but here’s Big E. Langston for the real save. Ambrose and Rollins are sent to the floor and we get the showdown between Langston and Reigns but Punk gets a chair, sending Roman out to the floor. Shield backs off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Langston interfering to end the show is a really interesting idea as his NXT work has shown how capable he is of being a monster face. Unfortunately that’s about all that held my interest tonight other than AJ’s commentary. There’s just nothing here of interest with a bunch of squashes complete with overdone finishes plus Miz being a face again for no apparent reason. Not an interesting show here but it wasn’t the worst two hours ever.

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