Impact Wrestling – January 30, 2014: Is It 2008 And No One Told Me?

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 30, 2014
Location: Hydro Arena, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Now stop me if you’ve heard this before, but tonight we find out who the new power is in TNA to oppose the current power. The big question is who will it be, with names such as MVP, Sting, AJ Styles and Billy Corgan being thrown out as possible storyline investors in TNA. Either way they seem to have the American Wolves as backup so they can’t be all bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the investor storyline which has been going on for a full two weeks now. We also look at Sting’s contract being ripped up. Again note that it’s a contract and not a career.

They’re in an arena tonight too which looks FAR better than the Impact Zone.

We immediately go to the back with Magnus, Spud and Ethan Carter being separated from Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. This is Scotland so the British champion is loathed. Magnus speaks extra slowly but says that’s not going to be enough for the Scots. The heat on Magnus is excellent here. People are upset that Sting has fallen to the Reign of Magnus, just like Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles. He ended Sting just as he promised he would and it was just business. Magnus refers to what happened to Sting as the thinning of the herd because Dixie agrees that they should rid TNA of the dinosaurs.

TNA needs to clear the way for the Bro Mans, Zema Ion, Rockstar Spud and Magnus of this business. Ethan doesn’t look pleased that his name was omitted nor that Magnus says he got rid of AJ, Hardy and Sting by himself. Before they can argue though, here are Angle and Joe to clear the ring. Kurt says he’s here to avenge the screwing of the herd. Angle talks about Magnus being a paper champion but Magnus says it’s killing Angle that he became a bigger star than the Mafia.

Joe says the only thing killing him is that Magnus is still breathing. Magnus pitches a tag match but an Ethan chant starts up. The match is on as long as Angle and Joe’s futures in TNA are on the line. Joe wants one more stipulation: if either of them pin Magnus, they’re the new #1 contender. The paper champion card is played again and Magnus says yes but Dixie comes out to say no way. She says there’s too much going on to have to worry about that as well but Magnus says the match is on anyway.

A car pulls up out back.

After a break the Wolves get out of the car but block a camera from getting in. Anyone that wants to talk to the investor has to go through them.

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa

We get a Beautiful People reunion, complete with the near kiss entrance. Gail and Tapa jump them before the bell and it’s Gail pounding on Madison to start. Velvet avoids the running cross body in the corner and makes the tag off to Velvet who cleans house. Things quickly break down and Madison takes down Tapa, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face on Gail for the pin at 1:50.

Post match Chris Sabin comes out to yell at Velvet, saying she’s been ignoring him all week. Maybe her hormones are messed up because it’s that time or something, but she has one more chance to apologize and things will be ok. Velvet breaks up with him to a big pop.

Joe and Angle break into Bobby Roode’s locker room for a fight as we go to another break.

Back from a break with Joe pulling Angle off Roode. Angle says Roode cost AJ and Sting their jobs and he’ll do it again tonight. Roode says he would so Joe chokes Roode to a couch and threatens to kill him if he interferes. Angle and Joe leave as Roode smiles.

Here’s James Storm with something to say. He talks about Gunner making a good partner but then something made them fall apart. Storm asks Gunner to come out here so they can put an end to this right now. Gunner says they were friends but once he got the briefcase they blew up. He had to do these things for his son and family and Storm would have done the same thing for his family.

Storm isn’t sure with that but Gunner goes into a story about being in the Marine Corps and fighting for the men that were beside him. We get a USA chant in Scotland as Storm talks about Gunner needing to take credit for how good he is. Storm loves to be a dad and drink beer at night but his daughter told asked why he was mad at Gunner. Storm couldn’t answer that, so he’s got Gunner’s back no matter what.

They shake hands and seem to make things right when Bad Influence breaks them up. Kaz says the only thing worse than a drunken dime store cowboy is a drunken dime store cowboy. He knows the thing Storm wants more than anything is that briefcase. Daniels suggests a tag match with the briefcase on the line. He’ll do it if he trusts Storm of course. The fight is on and we get a referee as we head to a break.

Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner

We come back from a break with Storm chopping Kaz in the corner before bringing in Gunner for some shots to the head. Gunner gets double teamed down and it’s Daniels taking over with right hands. An enziguri looks to set up the Angel’s Wings but Gunner backdrops him to escape.

Hot tag brings in Storm who cleans house with a middle rope cross body to Daniels but Kaz saves him from the Eye of the Storm. A missile dropkick sends Storm into the corner for a tag to Gunner and the former Marine cleans house. There’s a slingshot suplex to Kaz and a Last Call to Daniels, setting up a top rope headbutt to Kaz for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but it wasn’t terrible. There really isn’t a big problem with the match but it came and went so fast (remember that about half of it was spent in a commercial) that it didn’t have time to go anywhere. I can’t picture Gunner as a world title contender but I’m sure there’s more coming to this story.

Video on Samoa Joe’s TNA career.

Roode comes in to see an irate Dixie and demands a title shot in the main event of Lockdown. She tries to throw him out but he says no. Instead Dixie gets her checkbook but that’s not what Roode wants either. Dixie has a week to figure this out and until then, she gets no more favors.

Eric Young is thrilled that he and Abyss get a title shot tonight. ODB isn’t thrilled because she’s worried about Abyss being a monster. She leaves and Abyss walks up with a bag in his hand.

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Spud to get answers about the investor. First off we insult the crowd by calling them the British B-Team before Spud demands the Wolves come to the ring right now. Spud gets right to the chase, asking who the investor is and even pointing a flashlight in their eyes. He goes on a rant about how awesome he is and says Dixie called him a fierce lion and tiger so talk.

Spud slaps Richards in the face and there go the jackets. Edwards throws Spud in the air and Davey kicks him in the ribs before saying Dixie will find out when everyone else finds out. The investor is also very interested in the main event and if anyone interferes, they’re fired. They’ve got me intrigued if nothing else.

We recap Eric Young revealing that Joseph Park is Abyss.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. Abyss/Eric Young

Robbie throws Eric to the apron to start and we get the Flair strut. Abyss tries to grab Robbie from the apron but gets a stern lecture, allowing Jesse to come in off the top. Abyss comes in for more choking but Eric has to keep telling him to go back to the apron. Eric gets double teamed again before Abyss tries to come in for the third time in about two minutes.

The Bro Mans get to double team Young a bit more and Jesse gets two off a dropkick. Eric is launched into the corner for the tag to Abyss and house is cleaned, including a choke to Zema Ion. The referee pulls Abyss off and gets Shock Treatment for his efforts, drawing a DQ at about 5:00.

Rating: D. This storyline already feels really old and it’s getting even worse. Eric Young’s act of being insane and so crazy he’s brilliant has never appealed to me at all but it’s been going on for years now. The match was boring as we were just waiting for the ending with Abyss going nuts.

Eric gets a chokeslam post match and Abyss walks away.  Young grabs the mic and asks if this is how it ends.  There’s one experiment left so he asks if Abyss wants to get crazy.  Next week: Monster’s Ball.

Eddie Edwards says the investor is coming soon.

Bully Ray is pushing a casket in the back.

Sam Shaw has some wine with Christy Hemme and Sam puts his hand in a candle but doesn’t notice. They go off to see the rest of the palce and we switch to security camera footage. Christy looks out the window and Sam likes her hair down better. They go to another room but Sam sends her to get more wine. He turns on a light and it’s a shrine to Christy with pictures everywhere. Why do I have a feeling that no one is going to, I don’t know, TELL CHRISTY ABOUT THIS?

Here’s Ray with the casket to say Anderson has taken away Aces and 8’s and Ray’s identity. Therefore, Ray wants one final match: a casket match. Anderson comes out so Ray threatens to piledrive Anderson’s wife and kids. The match is accepted and Anderson opens the casket lid, ramming it into Ray’s face. Anderson throws Ray and a chair inside before hitting Ray low. Some chair shots to the back send Ray running and Anderson stands tall.

Video on Angle, talking about him being a cyborg.

Dixie, Ethan and Magnus are ready for the main event.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. Magnus/Ethan Carter III

Joe/Angle’s careers vs. a title shot if Magnus loses the fall. Ethan goes behind Angle to start and grabs a headlock. Angle takes him down with an armbar and it’s off to Joe for some right hands in the corner. Back to Angle as this dominance continues, only to have Kurt miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. We cut to the back and see the Wolves getting out of the car and putting the camera on the ground as a third person gets out of the car.

Back from a break with Ethan holding Angle in a chinlock before it’s off to the champ for the first time. That lasts all of fifteen seconds before it’s back to Ethan who charges into a belly to belly suplex, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Magnus comes in as well and walks into a powerslam and a bad looking cross armbreaker. Carter gets suplexed on the floor again as Joe locks on the Koquina Clutch for the submission at 9:55.

Rating: D+. Not a match here but the champion shouldn’t be tapping out clean in less than ten minutes. It wasn’t a good match either but it does set up Magnus’ next challenger which wasn’t clear. Also I like Joe getting back in the title scene as he hadn’t been near it for a long time now.

Post match Dixie comes out to yell at Magnus but Joe starts a YOU TAPPED OUT chant. Angle says that he’s done it all here in TNA and now he’s back. Kurt says he’ll take that Hall of Fame induction now and make sure to invite the investor. Dixie demands the investor come out right now and, after a delay, it’s……..MVP. This would have been huge if it was four years ago but now it’s just not bad.

Overall Rating: B-. This show had its faults but it did one thing right: it had me wanting to know who the investor was all the way up until the ending. The reveal wasn’t as good as it could have been but there were several worse options out there. I don’t care to see this storyline yet again but at least it won’t be as miserable as it could have been. At the end of the day, this is what you get with TNA so you have to learn to live with it. Not a great show but it did what it was supposed to.

Results

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – In Yo Face to Kim

James Storm/Gunner b. Bad Influence – Top rope headbutt to Kazarian

Bro Mans b. Abyss/Eric Young via DQ when Abyss attacked the referee

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. Magnus/Ethan Carter III – Koquina Clutch to Magnus

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