Monday Night Raw – March 10, 2014: Occupied By Problem Solving

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2014
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and something big might change tonight. The main story is Hulk Hogan making a major announcement for Wrestlemania which may have something to do with Daniel Bryan. Other than that John Cena is advertised to wrestle and Undertaker is in the building. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan to a nice reaction. He says people have been welcoming him back to the WWE and he’s spent two weeks watching his Wrestlemania matches on the WWE Network. Hogan talks about watching his match at Wrestlemania III and slamming Andre the Giant over his head. It’s got him so jacked up that he wanted to wrestle the whole neighborhood but then he had an idea. At Wrestlemania, there’s going to be a thirty man Andre the Giant memorial battle royal. The winner gets…..a trophy shaped like Andre.

Hogan says goodbye to the Mempho-nites but here’s John Cena (without a limp). John agrees that Hulk still rules and talks about trying to tear off his shirt back in 1987 but not being strong enough yet. Cena asks whatcha gonna do….when he’s the first name entered into the battle royal. Hogan is surprised but here are the Wyatts.

Bray says pride has always been his favorite sin because it blinds everyone, even those who claim to be immortal. “Hey kids, make sure to say your prayers and take your vitamins with hustle, loyalty and respect.” He talks about the two heroes giving everyone false hope when hope is dead, just like John’s future.

Bray lays it all out for Cena right now: if he looks up at Bray, he’ll see a friend, if he looks down at Bray he’ll see an enemy but if he looks at Bray in the eyes he’ll see a god. Cena of course responds by singing Jimmy Buffett and cracking jokes about how stupid Bray and the Family look. Thankfully he keeps the jokes short and takes himself out of the battle royal before challenging Wyatt for Wrestlemania. Bray sends the Family forward but we go to a break as they get to the apron.

Erick Rowan vs. John Cena

We’re joined in progress after a break with Rowan in control and crushing Cena’s head in the double fist vice. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on John and his cross body is caught in a fallaway slam. Cena tries another charge but runs into a bearhug with Rowan literally throwing Cena from side to side. Rowan puts him down with a powerslam but Cena grabs a rollup for the pin out of nowhere at 3:39.

Rating: C-. Cena literally did not have any major offense until the rollup at the end. Rowan hasn’t won many matches but he’s dominated Bryan and Cena before losing in the end. That’s how you make a guy look strong in defeat and it’s more proof that Rowan has a future after the Family breaks up.

Bray is livid but walks away from Hogan and Cena. The two superheroes pose.

You can pick what kind of a match Christian and Sheamus have: falls count anywhere, 2/3 falls or Memphis street fight.

Here’s the Authority to the stage with something to say. Stephanie says Bryan should have been fired after last week but instead offers him an apology. He’s a talented guy but not quite as big of a talent as guys like Batista, Orton or HHH. Bryan is a solid B+ player but he needs to apologize as well. Stephanie makes fun of Bryan for being short and hopes we enjoy the rest of the show.

Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title and the Outlaws are on commentary. Ryback and Axel are officially entered into the Wrestlemania battle royal. Jimmy walks into a hard uppercut from Axel before being thrown hard into the ropes. Ryback (with a heavily taped right arm) works over Jimmy for a bit before it’s back to Axel for a chinlock. Jimmy fights over to the corner for a tag and Jey cleans house. A superkick drops Curtis, Jey dives onto Ryback and the Superfly Splash is enough for the pin on Axel at 2:59.

Kane yells at Shield for being unprofessional. Ambrose asks if there’s a point to this and Kane says he doesn’t like the cracks in the team. Those cracks started when Reigns and Rollins lost the Tag Titles to the Rhodes Brothers, so tonight they’re having a rematch. Seth thinks Kane is deflecting his anger from losing twice last week to Bryan and Big Show. Reigns gets in Kane’s face and the Shield leaves.

Big E. vs. Jack Swagger

Non-title again. Big E. counters a whip into the corner and hits some hard running shoulders but Jack slams him down to take over. A running clothesline drops Big E. and Swagger cranks on his arms as we get an inset interview with Big E. saying he’s looking forward to winning the battle royal. Back up and Big E. hits a belly to belly but Jack takes out his leg. Colter tries to get Cesaro to interfere to no avail. Jack yells at Cesaro, allowing Big E. to roll him up for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D+. This was all angle and story rather than wrestling and that’s ok. I’m surprised that Big E. is in the battle royal instead of a title match but it frees up another spot on the card. Cesaro not cheating points to a face turn for him, but that’s been the case for months now. Nothing to the match but inset interviews always make me smile.

Post match Colter is livid and takes his vest off. He says this is getting settled right now and demands they shake hands. Swagger finally agrees but Cesaro squeezes his hand hard enough that Jack almost goes down.

Here’s Undertaker with something to say. On the way to the ring, the announcers talk about Brock Lesnar having no chance to break the Streak. Before he can get anywhere though, Paul Heyman is on the stage to interrupt. He sounds very nervous while talking about Undertaker preserving the greatest streak in sports, entertainment and sports entertainment. So many people throw around the number 21-0 without considering what it means.

Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels never won two matches in a row (not true as he won at Wrestlemania 7 as a member of the Rockers and 8 on his own). HHH could never get to three straight, Hulk Hogan couldn’t get to four, Steve Austin and John Cena couldn’t get past four. Think about that for a minute and it really is astounding. Heyman admits that Brock is stepping into the unknown at Wrestlemania by fighting Undertaker, but it’s something that Undertaker needs to fear because Brock will conquer the Streak.

Undertaker says since Heyman is Brock’s messenger boy, take this back to him: the fear of death is far greater than the death itself. But the fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all. One more thing: tell Brock that if he shows up in New Orleans at Wrestlemania, he will rest in peace.

Tomorrow on Main Event live it’s Ambrose vs. Mark Henry for the US Title and Natalya vs. AJ for the Divas Title.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Cody hits a delayed front suplex for an early two on Rollins. It’s off to Goldust for a backdrop and two on Seth as the brothers control early. Back to Cody who is sent face first into the middle turnbuckle, allowing for the tag off to Reigns for a hard headbutt. He misses a charge into the corner and the tag brings in Goldust for some quick clotheslines. The kneeling uppercut staggers Reigns and a spinebuster is good for two. Both Shield members are sent to the floor and the Brothers hit stereo dives (Cody off the top, Goldust off the apron) to take them down as we go to a break.

Back with Goldust getting suplexed for two before Rollins comes in and puts on a chinlock. Reigns hits the kick to the apron which is now just one boot instead of two. Rollins cranks on Goldust’s arm before bringing Reigns back in. Goldust actually snaps off a powerslam on Reigns, allowing for the hot tag off to Cody. House is quickly cleaned and a Disaster Kick knocks Reigns off the apron.

The moonsault press gets two on Rollins and a MuscleBuster of all things gets the same. Goldust and Reigns both come back in and the spear puts the golden one down. Cody loads up Cross Rhodes on Rollins but Seth rolls through. The Disaster Kick is countered into the buckle bomb and the Black Out (running curb stomp) is good for the pin at 14:20.

Rating: C+. Nice match here and it’s nice to see Shield get a clean win for a change. That Black Out looked great and I’m glad that they didn’t have it keep going on a near fall. Far too often anymore a big move hits but it’s only good for two. It’s also nice that neither team seems to be splitting anytime soon.

Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Natalya is on commentary. Nikki cranks on Tamina’s arm to start before it’s quickly off to Brie for a running knee to the chest. Tamina comes back with another of those HUGE superkicks to send Brie to the floor. Back in and Tamina hooks a chinlock and it’s off to AJ for some kicks and a guillotine choke. Brie fights out and makes the tag to Nikki who cleans house. Everything breaks down and Nikki counters the Black Widow into the Rack for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. Not for the match of course. It’s for commercial, because this was nothing more than an ad for Total Divas. At the end of the day, the Bellas are just not that good in the ring. They’re the definition of girls who are having to walk through every single move they do and are out there as eye candy. There’s nothing wrong with eye candy, but don’t make us sit through their matches.

Chris O’Donnell and LL Cool J of NCIS: Los Angeles are here.

We recap the opening segment with Cena making fun of Bray.

Here’s Bryan for his apology, but the only apology Bryan is going to make is not kicking HHH in the face a long time ago. HHH can’t have it both ways. He can’t be all corporate and all macho at the same time because if HHH is going to come after Bryan, Daniel is going to fight back. If HHH thinks Bryan is just going to lay down for the Authority, Bryan has one word for him: NO.

This all ends tonight because HHH just isn’t listening to these people. Therefore tonight, the YES Movement is going to occupy Raw. He isn’t leaving the ring until he gets his Wrestlemania match with HHH, but he actually means it because he isn’t alone. This ring and arena will be filled with the YES Movement and on cue a bunch of fans in Daniel Bryan shirts get into the ring as we go to a break.

We come back with probably close to 100 fans filling the ring and ringside, all chanting YES. For once these aren’t even local wrestlers as some of them are old, young and most of them clearly aren’t in wrestling shape. HHH and Stephanie come out to draw a NO chant. HHH says all the other dirty little hippies and trolls that live under a bridge with Bryan must be happy with him, but now real life comes in.

After thirty seconds, HHH calls for security to come get everyone out. Bryan says if they get thrown out, this entire arena can leave and Raw will be in front of an empty arena. Security (two middle aged bald guys) come out and Bryan starts cracking jokes. The security guards look at the mob and immediately turn around. Stephanie yells at the guards but Bryan says this is the fans’ ring. HHH wants the next match to start right now so get someone out here.

Damien Sandow comes out but stops halfway down the aisle. HHH and Stephanie come out and yell at him before Stephanie invokes the name of McMahon and how this is all hers. Bryan asks for the match at Wrestlemania again, saying the show stops until the match is made. HHH thinks about it before saying the truth is he likes Daniel. He saw something in Bryan and tried to protect him from success. HHH would end everything at Wrestlemania because he won’t stop until Bryan is done. The match is on and the place goes nuts. NOW GET OUT OF HIS RING!

Bryan says hang on a second because he’s not done yet. As much as the people want to see him fight at Wrestlemania, they really want to see him fighting for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. How about this: if Bryan beats HHH at Wrestlemania XXX, he’s added to the title match in the main event. HHH charges at the ring but the security drags him away. As he’s being dragged away, the match is made.

The fans have voted for a Memphis street fight by a wide margin for Sheamus vs. Christian.

Sheamus vs. Christian

Street fight of course so they set up the musical instruments. Sheamus has a bad arm coming in and misses an early Brogue Kick. A clothesline puts Christian out to the floor and Sheamus sends him back first into the barricade. Christian misses a big guitar shot against the post but gets in a few shots to the ribs with a second guitar. Sheamus whips him knees first into the steps and crushes Christian’s head against the steps. They head up the ramp with Christian shoving Sheamus off the ramp and hitting a tornado DDT onto the concrete but the pin has to take place in the ring.

Back from a break with both guys in the ring and Sheamus charging shoulder first into the post. Christian gets a kendo stick and goes off on Sheamus with shots to the arm and back for two. Sheamus avoids a big stick shot in the corner but a knee to the ribs puts him down again. Christian’s hiptoss is blocked and Sheamus comes back with running knees and an ax handle to the face.

Sheamus gets the stick now but misses his big swing. The rolling fireman’s carry gets two but Christian reverses the ten forearms. JBL spends the match accusing Lawler of orchestrating the Occupy Raw segment. Back in and Sheamus beats Christian with the stick so hard that it’s splintering but White Noise only gets two. Now about twenty forearms connect with Christian’s chest as Cole calls it the Ten Beats of an Irish drum whose name I couldn’t understand.

JBL says don’t turn around because it’s not the Gentrys (Jimmy Hart’s band) you hear beating on a drum. Christian bails to avoid the Brogue Kick but Sheamus sends him into the post. The Irish Curse off the steps has Christian in agony but Sheamus wants a bass drum. They head back inside as the announcers argue over which Beatle played which instrument. Christian comes back with some hard chair shots before putting two chairs on Sheamus’ chest. A frog splash onto the chairs gets a close two on Sheamus but he Brogue Kicks Christian through the drum for the pin at 14:26.

Rating: B-. This was fun for the most part but the musical instruments were just silly. It’s annoying that Sheamus dominates the feud over and over again, but at least the match here was good. I’m glad these two are (likely) going to be in the battle royal so we don’t have to see this again at Wrestlemania.

How to get the Network on whatever you have!

Brad Maddox tries to calm Batista and Orton down as they yell about the Bryan decision. The Authority is gone tonight but they’ve told Orton and Batista to be A+ players and take care of things tonight. Orton agrees to make it work with Batista but Big Dave smirks and walks away.

Lana and Rusev come out to do their weekly thing.

We look back at the opening segment but the Wyatts take over the feed. Harper says Cena made a big mistake by falling into the hands of the Reaper. We pan over to Bray looking at us upside down in a creepy moment. Bray says he’s not of this world but was thrilled seeing Cena and Hogan together. He sees Cena’s future in Hogan because they’re both too self absorbed to just let it go.

Cena couldn’t admit that he’s every bit the monster that Bray is and it’s the most foolish thing he’ll ever do. Bray has a thousand faces and a million names. He can be an evil beast or a smiling child but as for Wrestlemania, he accepts. Just remember: Cena has everything to lose because his time is up, but Bray’s time is forever. Rowan tells us to run to end things.

Big Show/Daniel Bryan vs. Batista/Randy Orton

Bryan quickly takes Orton to the floor for the FLYING GOAT and we take an early break. Back with Bryan holding a chinlock on Orton but the champ fights up and hits a knee to the ribs. Batista comes in and works on Bryan’s ribs in the corner before sending him to the floor to ram him into the apron. Back inside and a hard clothesline gets two for Dave but Bryan finally gets up and tags in Big Show to almost no reaction.

He grabs Orton by the throat but Batista goes after his knee to break it up. Orton comes in again and stays on the leg before Batista loads up the Bomb. Big Show easily backdrops out of it and tags Bryan for the usual stuff. The YES Kicks get two but he misses the swan dive. Orton grabs a rollup for two but gets reversed into the YES Lock until Batista makes the save.

Everything breaks down and Big Show superkicks Batista, only to walk into the RKO. Batista accidentally spears Orton and there’s the big knee to Dave. Orton avoids the running dropkick and hits the Elevated DDT with a point to the sign. The RKO is countered into a backslide for two and the running knee gets the pin on Randy at 13:06.

Rating: C-. This was like the last thirty minutes of Saturday Night’s Main Event: all the good stuff is out of the way but they have to fill in the last bit of time. It was nothing more than a way to get Bryan in there with the title contenders and the fans just weren’t interested. The Occupy Raw segment really should have closed the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Tonight was a story heavy show and that’s what it needed to be. The major matches are now set for Wrestlemania and the big segment did what it was supposed to do. I’m very intrigued by the battle royal because it opens the door for a lot of new names, hopefully from NXT. There weren’t many other options to get the huge roster on the card and having it be about Andre is a fine idea. I’m getting more and more fired up for Wrestlemania and tonight accomplished a lot. Wrestlemania’s main event is (seemingly) predictable but that’s not a bad thing.

Results

John Cena b. Erick Rowan – Rollup

Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly splash to Axel

Big E. b. Jack Swagger – Rollup

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Black Out to Rhodes

Bella Twins b. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka – Rack to AJ

Sheamus b. Christian – Brogue Kick

Daniel Bryan/Big Show b. Batista/Randy Orton – Running knee to Orton

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