Today is the clueless putz himself Steven Richards.
Stevie Richards vs. Tommy Dreamer
Richards is tossed back to the floor and whipped into the barricade as this is getting violent. Back inside with a low blow to Stevie with a frying pan but Stevie pops back up with a backdrop. The DDT catches Richards out of nowhere but Raven grabs Dreamer. Stevie gets back up for a superkick and Tommy is in trouble. Another superkick is blocked with a low blow and Dreamer grabs the rollup pin.
Tag Team Titles: Pitbulls vs. Raven/Stevie Richards
Richards gets beaten up with a chair as Raven piledrives #2 through the table for a fast pin. The second fall begins with #1 taking a double DDT for two as #2 makes the save. Another table is brought in as #1 beats on Richards even more. With Raven down, a Super Bomb through the table is enough to tie things up as we get down to the real stuff with the third fall.
We take a quick break to look at both falls and come back to see Richards a bloody mess. #1 takes Richards into the crowd where Richards nails him with a chair. Raven and #2 fight in the aisle until #2 sends in another table. The referee goes down (like it matters) and here are the Dudleys (Dances With Dudley and Dudley Dudley) to beat up the Pitbulls. The champions hit Super Bombs but the Pitbulls pop right back up. A double DDT takes down all four villains and both Dudleys take Super Bombs of their own.
Big Dick Dudley is here to chokeslam Dreamer, which Alfonso has to unban as Alfonso had made it illegal to protect himself from the chokeslamming machine 911 who had been wanting to chokeslam Alfonso for months. This immediately brings out 911 to plant Alfonso with a chokeslam for a standing ovation. The Pitbulls get back in to Super Bomb Raven for the pin and the titles.
El Puerto Ricano vs. Stevie Richards
Ricano hits a missile dropkick and dives on Meanie to take care of him. He goes up too many times though and Richards slams him down to take over. Flock of Seagulls dude hits a powerbomb and the other guy (you type Ricano over and over again) is in trouble. He gets draped over the top and takes another Stevie Bomb. Blue Meanie comes in and misses a moonsault. Richards hits a superkick to end this. More or less just a squash.
Sabu vs. Stevie Richards
Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.
A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.
Another match with another hardcore guy from Cyberslam 1997.
Balls Mahoney vs. Stevie Richards
Mahoney likes leather it seems. Uh…yeah. Use your imagination here people. It’s BWO Stevie here. A little trivia here is that Rob Feinstein, as in the RF in RF Video and a former owner of ROH is playing the Syxx (X-Pac) parody of 7-11 here. Balls has short hair here. He must trim them. The fans aren’t sure who they like here but it seems to be Stevie. I think the BWO is face here but it’s kind of hard to tell in the ECW Arena.
Stevie uses speed to take over, likely just offering Balls some to get him down. Off to an armbar now as the arena flashes his chest to the fans. Oh dear. Fujiwara Armbar now by Stevie (named after Mr. Fuji if you’ve been curious as to that for some odd reason). Balls pounds away for a bit and then it’s right back to Stevie’s armbar. Ten punches in the corner and then Stevie climbs the ropes backwards and rubs his tiguts in Balls’ face. So he wants Balls around his….never mind.
Another clothesline by Balls gets two. Balls has next to no offense outside of clotheslines and punches. He tries a spinwheel kick with Richards on the apron and yet he hits the floor before Richards. As in like 5 seconds before Richards. Stevie chills on the floor for a minute or so until Balls drags him back in. Middle rope elbow has Stevie in trouble.
This is boring if you couldn’t tell as we’re at about 8:30 so far. Yes, these two get eight and a half minutes. Balls gets a modified atomic drop (more like an elevated punch to the balls, thereby making Stevie’s voice elevated) and makes fun of the BWO. Top rope leg drop misses and it’s a Stunner by Stevie to give him control for all of half a second. Powerbomb and a superkick miss so Stevie kicks him in the balls and then the chin to end this.
Rating: D-. See, this is where the problems came from for ECW. In short, the matches aren’t that good. The characters are ok and the stories are more developed, but at the end of the day the wrestling just wasn’t there for the most part. They had some good talent, but a lot of the time it was a guy that punched a lot and had a finisher and that’s about it. They knew no basic stuff and it was glaringly obvious at times. Also, this getting nearly 13 minutes is a bit much.
Richards would start up the BWO and jump up the card, somehow getting into a #1 contenders match at Barely Legal.
Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Funk
Terry nails Sandman in the face with the ladder to send him to the floor as Dreamer rants about Raven getting to face the winner while fresh. A double powerbomb is enough to pin Richards and get us down to one on one, sucking some life out of the crowd. Sandman and Terry shake hands then punch each other in the face, only to have Terry backdrop him out to the floor and onto Stevie.
Richards would jump to WCW for a few matches, including this one on Nitro, August 18, 1997.
Stevie Richards vs. Scotty Riggs
After a year or so doing nothing of note, it was off to the WWF with one of Richards first matches taking place on Smackdown, October 14, 1999.
Stevie Richards vs. Val Venis
Richards would become Steven Richards and lead the Right to Censor as a parody of the PTC. Here he is at Summerslam 2000.
Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi
Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.
Another match from No Mercy 2000.
Val Venis/Steven Richards vs. Billy Gunn/Chyna
Steven refers to Gunn as rectally obsessed. That somehow fits. Who came up with the stupid name? They need to be drug out into the street and shot. Val and Rikishi start us off which is as riveting as it sounds. Val punches Chyna on the floor and goes into the steps for his troubles. This is going nowhere fast. I hate that expression but it fits here.
Chyna spins Richards around by the tie. She goes off on him and the heels are in trouble. Val goes after the arm of Billy as this is setting new standards for boring. Chyna gets a very weak tag for the beatdown. Handspring elbow to Val as Billy helps to beat him up. Pedigree attempt but Eddie comes down to hit her with the loaded flowers and Val gets the pin.
Rating: F. Sweet GOODNESS this was boring. I get the injury thing but at the same time this had nothing at all to it. Get on to the next match please.
The RTC would start going downhill but they had one more decent night at No Way Out 2001.
Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards
Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.
This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.
Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to lose her clothes. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.
Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.
Steven Richards vs. Hurricane
From Raw, September 8, 2003.
Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards
One more Raw match on May 3, 2004.
Kane vs. Steven Richards
Chokeslam, pin, 37 seconds.
Mexicools vs. BWO
Richards would be part of the new ECW, including this match on SNME XXXIII.
Sabu vs. Stevie Richards
And here’s your token ECW match that no one will care about. This is an extreme rules match thank goodness. Richards is talented if nothing else. He doesn’t get an entrance though so there we are. Sabu kind of hits a triple jump moonsault but kind of doesn’t which is a good result for him. It’s table time and an Arabian Facebuster later we’re done.
Rating: N/A. Sabu would be gone in a few weeks as Van Dam and he had gotten caught in the car with the pot and the kettle and the dinette set.
CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards
Richards is very fired up here and Punk has taped up ribs. Punk fires off some kicks and nails a t-bone suplex for two. Stevie comes back with a knee to the ribs and rips off the tape to kick at the ribs even more. Off to a bow and arrow but Punk floats over and gets two off a jackknife cover. A double stomp to the rips gets two on Punk and we hit the abdominal stretch. Richards misses a charge in the corner and Punk fires off his usual kicks and knees but to the back. A neckbreaker out of the corner gets two and the GTS is good for the pin.
Abyss vs. Stevie Richards
I’m in awe of how stupid this angle and character is but whatever. Abyss has just started wearing his current entrance attire that makes him look like a homeless man. Stevie has some kind of pipe or something and beats on Abyss with it. They continue to confuse me by calling him Stevie Richards and acknowledge his background in wrestling.
I’m not even going to rant about how stupid that is but whatever. Again we’re told how great Abyss can be. And again we ignore that he’s a former world champion. Are they ashamed of that or something? They say AJ is a former world champion here even though he had only won NWA Titles at this point. I really hate that clapping Abyss does.
It’s stupid when Christian does it but it’s just freaking idiotic when Abyss does it. We head into the crowd so we can kill off some time to go along with the brain cells. Seriously, what is the appeal of the monster being all child-like? Is that supposed to be interesting or funny or something? I’d assume it’s based off of being ironic or something but in order for irony to work it needs to be interesting which this just flat out isn’t.
Since it’s TNA, of course Stevie starts bleeding. That’s a real problem with TNA today: they think blood makes a match better. Blood can help a match, but only when it’s done both in moderation as well as properly. TNA has a real issue with it as they do it so often that it loses all effectiveness. The fans are insane and rather annoying here, wanting Stevie to get hurt more and more.
Somewhere a man named Lee is crying. And now it’s chair time because we need to kill off more time in this match. Just like the previous match, this is a glorified squash. He pulls Stevie up after two from Shock Treatment. Daffney brings Stevie a stun gun that he’s used lately. Instead he runs into a Black Hole Slam. He uses the tazer on him and smoke comes out of it. There’s the pin and I need a stiff drink.
Rating: D. This was even worse than the previous match as this one was even more of a squash. It was about 95% Abyss dominance which isn’t interesting at all. Then again neither of these guys are interesting characters so that likely has a lot to do with it. Richards as a doctor never quite worked.
Time for an ECW reunion show at Hardcore Justice 2010.
PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards
Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.
The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.
And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.
Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.
One final match at Bound For Glory 2010 with Richards as part of EV 2.0.
Fourtune vs. EV 2.0
This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.
EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.
The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the heck out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.
Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?
Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.
Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!
With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.
Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.
Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.
Raven and Morgan beat the tar out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.
Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.
Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants. Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.
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