Wrestler of the Day – October 18: Barry Darsow
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NWA Six Man Titles: Krusher Khruschev/Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff vs. Crusher/Dick the Bruiser/Baron Von Raschke
Off to the NWA with the same character at Starrcade 1985.
Mid-Atlantic Title: Krusher Khrushchev vs. Sam Houston
Another tag match at Starrcade 1986.
US Tag Titles: Krusher Khrushchev/Ivan Koloff vs. Kansas Jayhawks
Rating: C. Another basic tag match here but it was at a slightly faster pace, making it a more entertaining match for the most part. The Russians continue to be a perfectly fine midcard heel act as the Cold War was still going on at this point. The Jayhawks never did much of anything as a team and would fade into obscurity pretty soon after the start of the new year.
Battle Royal
André the Giant, Ron Bass, Demolition (Ax and Smash), Billy Jack Haynes, Hercules, Hillbilly Jim, Hulk Hogan, The Honky Tonk Man, The Islanders (Haku and Tama), The Killer Bees (B. Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell), Blackjack Mulligan, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Sika, Nikolai Volkoff, and Koko B. Ware.
So in other words, it’s everyone but Savage and Steamboat plus a few tag teams. Smash is the original Smash and not Barry Darsow and Honky is wearing suspenders. Andre won’t let Hogan get in. Orndorff jumps Hogan to prevent the showdown. More or less all of the heels jump Hogan and all of the faces jump Andre. Honky is out thanks to Hogan. Andre puts Sika out.
These are hard to commentate on as it’s just eliminations and fights. Haku, a face at this point, is out. Andre headbutts Lanny Poffo and he’s BUSTED OPEN, and I mean BAD. Totally hard way too. That is a sick cut. They have to get a stretcher to get him out. That’s impressive. Other than that it’s pretty much you punch me and I’ll punch you in the ring. Ron Bass is out as is Mulligan.
The ultimate Hogan jobber, Volkoff, is gone. We’re just killing time to get to Hogan vs. Andre as Blair is out. HERE WE GO! Hogan blocks a punch…and Koko jumps on Andre to be annoying. Hogan throws out Orndoff but gets jumped by Andre who does the headbutts to the back of the head and throws him out easily. WOW.
In a VERY funny moment, Hogan and Andre are doing a staredown and Koko tries to jump Andre. Giant just smacks him in the head without even turning around. That was hilarious. Everyone gets together to throw Andre out.
Ok we’re down to Koko, Reed, Smash, Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules. Koko puts Reed out and we get faces vs. heels. Koko is out thank goodness and then we get rid of Smash too to get us down to the full nelson guys. Haynes goes for Bobby and there he goes for Hercules to win, which is probably the biggest win of his career somehow.
Rating: D. This was about Hogan vs. Andre and while that did happen, it was all of ten seconds long. Before and after that though, no one cared. This just wasn’t that interesting at all and it was about ten seconds out of eleven minutes. That can’t be a good sign. You probably should just go watch Wrestlemania instead.
Twin Towers/Andre the Giant vs. Demolition/Jim Duggan
Smash was part of the greatest Survivor Series team of all time in 1989.
Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team
Hulk Hogan, Demolition, Jake Roberts
Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain
Time for a six man at SNME XXVIII.
Ultimate Warrior/Legion of Doom vs. Demolition
Has there ever been a better collection of theme music in one match? The LOD cost Demolition the tag belts and Warrior is there….uh because. This would be a Survivor Series match in a month with Hennig and Tornado joining them. Piper points this out. We get a shot of Dustin Rhodes in the crowd. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later on. Warrior comes in and just destroys people.
The splash misses Axe though and he’s Smash. Demolition was more or less worthless by this point and would get squashed at Mania and be done. Hawk comes in and just wipes them out. You can see the crushing of them beginning. He continues the trend of beating all of Demolition by himself. Everybody comes in and brawls but Smash is more or less dead and gets caught by the splash for the pin. This was domination in every sense of the word.
Off to Prime Time Wrestling on May 14, 1991 for a rare singles match.
Smash vs. Jake Roberts
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but did anyone consider Smash to be a serious opponent for a guy like Roberts? Demolition was dead in the water at this point and Smash would quickly be repackaged into the Repo Man. Jake on the other hand would turn heel and become one of the best villains in recent memory.
Speaking of Repo Man, here he is in one of the few logical stories he ever had. From This Tuesday In Texas.
Ted DiBiase/Repo Man vs. Virgil/Tito Santana
One thing modern WWE programming is great about is recapping stuff. That helps a ton as to someone that is randomly seeing this, this match makes NO sense. In reality, DiBiase had said that Virgil had stolen the Million Dollar Belt and recruited Repo Man to help him get it back, which worked. Since we need to fill in a match slot here, Tito joined Virgil and we get this match. The faces are already in the ring so what do you expect to happen here?
Virgil’s career is in essence over as far as importance goes here. He just had nothing to do once he left DiBiase and that singles feud went on about as long as it could so the WWF kept it going for another few months after it. Repo here is of course Smash from Demolition if you weren’t aware of that. Santana is more or less worthless here as El Matador.
The problem is that after that, no one remembered the great work he did as Tito Santana, as he was just remembered for the stupid gimmick that he did. As for the match, there’s not a lot to say. It’s your standard filler tag match that could have been on any house show or TV show of the era. I don’t know if it’s good enough for here but we’ll see I guess. Repo Man and DiBiase might be the weirdest combination of all time.
The main problem here is that there’s no point to having Santana in there. He didn’t have any feud with either guy that I can remember other than a few random matches with Repo that would have happened just because they were on the same level of the card. This is just a weird combination to have. The wrestling is fine, but it just comes off as weird all around. The match itself is once again the same kind of match that you would expect to see at a house show or on TV.
It’s actually not bad to be fair. It’s nothing to go out of your way to see, but I don’t have a problem with it being on a low level Tuesday PPV. The problem here is that Virgil is the guy that’s getting the hot tag. How is that appealing? With Sherri making a distraction, Repo hits him in the back with a knee to allow DiBiase to get the pin.
Rating: C. This was ok I guess, but it wasn’t anything great. The faces were just overly matched here and it was really easy to tell that. The formula worked fine here as it ca be expected with guys like DiBiase and Santana out there though, so that balances out I guess. This was pure filler.
Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter/Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Nasty Boys/Moutnie/Repo Man
Just a collection of lower midcard guys getting a Wrestlemania payday here. Neither team gets an entrance. Instead, Ray Combs of Family Feud is guest ring announcer for this and cracks a few jokes about the heels pre-match. The good guys clean house to start and hit a quadruple clothesline to clear the ring. Heenan announces that Shawn Michaels has left the building. Gorilla sums up our responses: “WHO CARES???”
Repo Man vs. Crush
Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes
Bully is more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man. This is seriously the best they could put together? Dustin would be fired for the rematch: the King of the Road match, where the idea was they were in the back of a big truck which was driving along the road and the first person to pull a horn got the win. It’s somehow worse than it sounds but we’ll get to that later. Meng is thrown out before the match starts.
This is seriously Dustin Rhodes against the battling truck driver. Dustin is wearing gold by the way. That’s rather amusing. Naturally this is mainly a fight. I can’t get over the fact that this feud was already in FREAKING WARGAMES and we’re still having it here, 5 months later. Seriously, what in the world could there be left to fight about? The scary thing is that the feud ended because Dustin got fired, not because the feud itself ended.
Bully’s finisher is called the Breaker 1 9. Oh dear indeed. They’re having Smash work a ten minute plus technical match. Honestly, who thought this was smart? You have Sting and Savage in the next match and this is going to get more time than that. You could serious watch this match in fast forward and you wouldn’t miss anything. I mean it’s the same stuff over and over again with nothing new added in at all.
Unless you like hearing truck driving jokes from Tony and hearing him worship Dusty Rhodes which could take all day then there’s no reason to watch this. Rhodes is in trouble and Heenan says come on Bully, give him that parking ticket. In other words, Heenan is so gone that for one thing, he thinks that sounds good and number two, he thinks truck drivers have the authority to give parking tickets.
We spend three minutes talking about that Rhodes fire. And don’t let me get started about how many Rhodes and driving a truck on said Rhodes jokes they used. Dustin suplexes Parker in and that’s apparently a big deal. Never mind the whole double cage match where Dustin got to beat the living tar out of him. In one of the most clichéd endings there is, Dustin goes for a suplex and Parker hooks his foot so that Bully is able to get the pin. Heenan must have had a shot as he’s slurring again.
Rating: G. This is beyond failing. Let me make this clear: Goldust and Repo Man had an 18 minute match where we had non-stop truck driver jokes. We kept hearing about that stupid top wristlock (yes, that’s what Darsow’s finisher was. Smash’s real name is Barry Darsow in case you didn’t know) and we never even see it. This is now I believe the standard method of torture in 9 states.
And it somehow got worse. From Uncensored 1995.
Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes
For some reason WCW thought this was a good idea. See if you can figure this out: they’re in the back of a truck driving around Atlanta. The winner is the first person to get to the end of the truck and pull a horn. Both guys bladed which was illegal at the time and were fired for it. There are bales of hay in the back of it also. Yep, WCW isn’t a hick company AT ALL. Oh hey let’s get a police escort and a helicopter too.
This must have been SO fun for the people in the arena. I mean my goodness: SOMEONE GOT PAID FOR THIS!!! The problem here is that no one can actually stand up at all as they’re IN A MOVING TRUCK! Two idiots have to actually sit in the cab and watch this. Seriously, WHO CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA??? Yep there goes the sunlight. Oh I forgot to mention: this has been edited to Zimbabwe and back so the light changes about every 5 seconds.
Hey, let’s run a stop sign on film and show a shot of the truck driver for no apparent reason. They aren’t even really fighting. It’s them wandering from one end of the truck to another and hitting the other guy with a bale of hay. And all of a sudden Dustin is 8 feet away from where he was a second ago. Not to mention they had to rent the truck. The camera work here is crap as we can’t let anyone see blood. Nothing dumb about this AT ALL.
They actually call this a match. I’m stunned. Hey something good happens for once: the camera in the helicopter breaks up. Someone up there likes me. Oh hey, let’s sit on the side of a moving truck and hang off the side while a guy punches me. Nothing bad can happen from this. This has been going on over 8 minutes and they might have interacted for 50 seconds total. Other than that it’s stumbling around and trying to grab the horn.
It’s also gotten lighter so apparently this has gone on all night. It certainly feels like it. They’re up on the beam together and Dustin gets knocked off, allowing the Bully to pull the horn and win I guess. In the arena fireworks go off. This is a BAD idea already isn’t it?
Rating: H. As in HOLY GOODNESS WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE THEY SMOKING TO COME UP WITH THIS????? Do I even need to make fun of this? Dustin took off and put on his shirt twice, yet you never saw him do it once. See what I’m working with here? The blading in the match would get Dustin fired and get him a job in WWF as Goldust, making it the best thing he ever could have done.
Darsow would be brought back in to WCW for a few shots on Nitro, including this one on March 9, 1998.
Goldberg vs. Barry Darsow
And again on Nitro, September 21, 1998.
Finlay vs. Barry Darsow
They circle each other until Darsow hammers him into the corner but Finlay uppercuts him back. We hit an early nerve hold on Barry followed by a simple pull of the face but Darsow comes back with choking and a chinlock. Finlay counters a piledriver attempt and the tombstone is enough to pin Barry.
One more time with Darsow as a golfer named Mr. Hole In One Barry Darsow on Saturday Night, December 19, 1998.
Barry Darsow vs. Kaz Hayashi
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