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we’re looking at a real American: the Patriot.
The Patriot, played by Del Wilkes, got his start in the AWA as the Trooper, a police officer. Here he is at some point in 1990 on AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN.
Trooper vs. Kent Carlson
Next up was the Dallas based Global Wrestling Federation. From some point around 1991 under his better known name.
Tom Davis vs. The Patriot
Davis takes him into the corner to start as Scotty Anthony (later known as Raven) comes to commentary to say the masked Patriot is a Russian spy named Vladimir. A rollup sends Davis to the apron and Patriot works on the arm. Anthony praises Joseph McCarthy as the last real patriot in America. Patriot takes him down with a headlock as Anthony needs quiet from the audience to do commentary.
Tom bails to talk with his brother Mike before getting caught in a headlock back inside. Davis snapmares him down and gets two off a legdrop as Anthony thinks Davis writes Garfield. Anthony: “A win over the Patriot would be a feather in his cap, if in fact he had a cap on.” The full nelson slam plants Davis and the Patriot Missile (top rope shoulder) is good for the pin.
Patriot would jump to WCW in early 1994, including this match on Saturday Night, March 20, 1994.
Lord Steven Regal vs. The Patriot
Patriot would join forces with Marcus Bagwell in the team Stars N Stripes. Here they are challenging for the titles at Fall Brawl 1994.
Tag Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Stars N Stripes
We see Barry Darsow AGAIN but this time he’s being thrown out. Seriously, Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma are the tag champions and it’s 1994. Let that sink in for a bit. Bagwell shakes hands with Penzer. I kind of like that for some reason. It’s nice if nothing else. What the heck happened to this kid? He became the biggest dick I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen my share of big dicks. Oh just leave it alone.
The Patriot apparently changed houses between this and Halloween Havoc as he’s billed as from DC here and South Carolina next time. Roma and Orndorff are reminding me of Billy and Chuck. They actually call the previous sham a match. I’ve heard it all now. Other than Admin KB, but I think that could come this year. Stars N Stripes beat the champions in a non title match to set this up. They make fun of the WWF and say these are wrestlers and not bodybuilders.
Keep in mind that Bagwell would become Buff Bagwell in a few years and Orndorff was Mr. Wonderful for his muscles. And yeah you guessed it, the match sucks. Nothing at all of note goes on here as it’s just four guys with no heat having a tag team match. Thankfully it’s shorter than their rematch next month.
Yes, Orndorff and Roma got to fight on PPV again, but as challengers where they won the belts again. Anyway, this is just boring as all goodness . Orndorff dumps a cooler with soda and ice onto Bagwell for no apparent reason and miscommunication between the faces ends this.
Rating: D+. Now remember, Regal and Austin lost their titles tonight, but Roma and Orndorff keep theirs. Let that sink in a bit. To further the pure stupidity of this company, these teams fought again SIX DAYS LATER and the faces won the belts, which they held until October, only to lose them back to Paul and Paul, before Stars N Stripes won them AGAIN, before losing them to Harlem Heat for their first reign. Did Orndorff save Hogan from drowning in cocaine or something once?
The team would win the belts on TV soon after this and defended them at Halloween Havoc 1994.
Tag Titles: Stars N Stripes vs. Pretty Wonderful
Pretty Wonderful are the former champions here as Stars N Stripes beat them about a month earlier. Good night do those teams sound generic. Pretty Wonderful is made up of Pretty Paul Roma and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. Stars N Stripes are Bagwell and the Patriot. I really am not looking forward to this. This just sounds like a bad match on an indy show or something like that.
Heenan suggests that the Patriot is Al Gore. Something tells me that Bobby is going to be all that gets me through this match and show. Bagwell was a five time champion with four different partners. That either says he’s a great tag wrestler or he has no direction so they kept throwing him in random tag teams because he had a big contract and they had nothing else to do with him.
You can tell the announcers are just bored to death as they’re arguing over what a tag is and then there’s something about Dennis Rodman. This is just BORING. They actually say this is the last night Hogan will face Flair. That’s just hilarious. They wrestled 15 years later and likely will in TNA also. They discuss the Lions’ Super Bowl chances. This is just amusing. Nothing at all is going on in the match.
They say that Tiger Stadium and Yankee Stadium are the last great ballparks. The real last great ballparks are the ones still in use today: Fenway and Wrigley. Heenan says that once all of the matches are over, no one is going to take a shower because they’ll all be watching the cage match.
Ok, number one, why does Heenan know the showering habits of the wrestlers and why would no one take a shower after their match when they have about an hour and a half before the main event? How clean do they like to get? The fans are more or less dead for this by the way. Bagwell hits the suplex and Wonderful hits an elbow on him to get the titles. This was somehow worse than the previous match.
Rating: D-. I have never cared less about a match than I did here. I’ve always thought Bagwell was hot and there’s a former Horseman in there though so it’s not a failure. The announcers were bored too as this was just bland as all goodness. The match didn’t work, but the tag division around this time was a disaster anyway.
One last match at Clash XXIX.
Tag Team Titles: Stars and Stripes vs. Pretty Wonderful
Here’s another title shot at Clash XXX.
Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Stars and Stripes
Harlem Heat won the belts earlier in the month and this is the rematch. We have no Stars and Stripes to start but we do get Nature Boy Ric Flair with two very nice looking women. He walks by Vader with no incident and goes to his seat. Booker and Bagwell get things going with Marcus stomping him down in the corner but running into a boot in the corner. He comes right back with a dropkick for both champions as Stars and Stripes stands tall.
After a few years in All Japan, Patriot would be signed by the WWF. Here’s one of his first matches on Raw, July 28, 1997.
Bret Hart vs. The Patriot
Bret is all evil and Canadian here and Shawn is on commentary. We can’t start immediately though as Bret insists on O Canada being played. That’s not cool with Patriot who wants to hear the Star Spangled Banner. Like a true villain though, Bret jumps him during the song and we’re ready to go. The song is still going as Bret hammers away before choking on the ropes. Hart stomps away in the corner as Shawn says he stands for truth, justice and the American way. Patriot fights back with a big right hand and they fight outside with Patriot in control.
Back in and the Patriot Missile connects for two and we take a break. We come back with Bret suplexing Patriot down as we see him putting the Figure Four on around the pole during the break. A backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but Patriot fights back in the corner. He loads up Uncle Slam (full nelson slam) but the referee gets bumped. Bret nails a piledriver but there’s no referee. Shawn trips Bret up though and the distraction lets Patriot grab the longest rollup in history for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was a natural matchup during the Border War with Patriot being the Kurt Angle of his day, minus the whole Olympic Gold Medal part of course. Bret and Shawn would have their issues until the end of time, including six days after this with Shawn refereeing Bret’s WWF Title match at Summerslam.
That win alone was enough to give Patriot a title shot at In Your House XVII.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. The Patriot
Vader and Bulldog are taken to the back and Patriot goes up top for his Patriot Missile (top rope shoulder) but Bret gets up at two. There was nowhere near as much of a reaction for that count as the previous ones. A suplex gets two more on Bret but he grabs a quick Stun Gun to put Patriot down again. The bulldog and middle rope elbow get two for Bret but Patriot slugs away at him in the corner.
Rating: B. The match worked well but the ending hurt it a good bit. Patriot is fighting for America and all that jazz, but he gives up instead of crawling another ten inches? The match took awhile to get going but once we got to the interference and all that jazz, things picked up a good bit.
Patriot vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. British Bulldog
Shawn and HHH jump the Bulldog on his way to the ring. They ram his knee into the ramp and crush it with a chair to set up the match at One Night Only. Back from a break and Savio has jumped into the match and is replacing Bulldog I guess. This is back when the match wasn’t a total cliché that was required at least once a month. HHH gets double teamed and elbowed down but the alliance ends quickly with Patriot clotheslining HHH down and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.
Savio gets knocked to the floor and HHH drops a knee on Patriot for two. HHH pounds away on Patriot’s head but Savio comes gets jealous and pounds away on Patriot instead. I’ve never understood the logic behind that: why not let HHH expend energy and then jump him later on? Shawn comes out for commentary as we take a break.
Back with Savio hitting a spinwheel kick in the corner on HHH, followed by a DDT from Patriot on the future Game for two. Patriot and Savio take turns beating on HHH but neither guy can get more than a one. Patriot suplexes Savio down but HHH breaks it up before there’s even a cover. Savio tries a sunset flip on HHH and after Patriot breaks up HHH’s hold on the ropes, it gets two.
The fans are booing something here and to be fair, it’s probably the match as it’s not working at all for the most part. Shawn is ripping Vince apart on commentary because of how stupid Vince sounds. Savio kicks HHH’s head off, making Shawn speak Spanish. Savio puts a headscissors on HHH and Patriot puts a headscissors on Savio at the same time as we take a break.
Back with Patriot chopping away on Savio and vice versa. HHH breaks up a cover on Savio and the booing gets louder. Patriot and HHH literally stand still and choke each other as a LOUD boring chant breaks out. Vince complains about Shawn’s change of attitude. Shawn: “Well it was you that told me to change.”
The Pedigree is countered and Savio lands on the referee. HHH throws Patriot to the floor and loads up a Pedigree on Savio, only to be catapulted into Patriot, crotching the guy that comes out to Kurt Angle’s music (Patriot if you’re kind of slow). Savio kicks HHH’s head off but Shawn distracts him before the cover. HHH rams Savio into the Patriot and rolls up Vega for the pin.
Rating: D-. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? They should be made to sit and watch this match over and over again until they scream for mercy. I mean DANG this didn’t work at all. Someone thought giving this SEVENTEEN MINUTES was a good idea. Savio comes completely out of nowhere (he had been feuding with the original Nation of Domination) and jumps in the match, which makes absolutely no sense. Taking Bulldog out was a problem as at least he would have given us three distinct groups (Harts, Anti-Harts, future DX) in the match, but instead it was a total mess and VERY dull. Terrible main event.
Flash Funk vs. The Patriot
Flash Funk is more commonly known as 2 Cold Scorpio and is a pimp without the name of being one. Patriot showed up a few weeks before this and somehow had a title shot at the previous PPV which went nowhere. Naturally he “came within an eyelash” but that didn’t mean anything after that show.
Patriot has Angle’s old music which it’s just odd to hear in 1997. He’s more or less a heel here since he comes out with the American flag. Patriot says he wears a mask because he represents the face of every American. I don’t know that many men that have golden skin like that. Flash is wearing a freaking zoot suit. This isn’t as good of a match as it could be but it’s ok I guess.
It’s about as generic as you could get but that’s fine. Vince calls Flash the Funkmeister. I’m done. Patriot was just annoying at this point. He wasn’t that good at all but was built up to be this great worker which he just wasn’t at all. They keep saying the reason they’re not being all violent and such is because they don’t hate each other. That’s better than nothing I guess.
If nothing else this should tell you everything you need to know about Patriot: his finishers are a full nelson slam called the Uncle Slam and a top rope shoulder block called the Patriot Missile. Funk’s finisher is called the Funky Flash Splash. A full nelson slam ends this. That was a waste of time.
Rating: C-. Again, this was just there. It wasn’t particularly good or bad, but Patriot got some decent heat which is really all you can ask for. Funk went for a big move from the top and it missed for the Uncle Slam. That’s better than nothing I guess. It could have been a lot worse I guess, but this just wasn’t the best choice of a pairing.
Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/The Patriot
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