Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: December 22, 2014
Last week’s show was the Christmas episode, which has been little more than a dull show with a big main event for years, but the common expectations seemed to be the greatest show of all time, because wrestling fans have short attention spans. Other than that though, Hogan is here as the guest host, Ho Ho Hogan. Let’s get to it.
Hogan opened things up as Santa Claus. I’m really hoping this is better than Santa With Muscles, which really was a disaster, even by Hulk movie standards. That being said, Hulk Hogan as Santa……might be the most amazing thing in the history of ever. Anyway, Hogan made some matches which we’ll get to later, but John Cena interrupted him for the big hero buddy shot.
Cena sang Let It Go. I’m going to pause to let you think about that for a few seconds now. Cena actually praised Rollins for beating him fair and square last week, which is a very cool line to hear. It’s a good rub for Seth because he did in fact win the match without breaking any rules. He wanted Rollins again tonight, so Seth came out for basically the exact same promo Cena has heard for a year or so: go away because it’s my time. Think about it: for the last year, what have you heard said to Cena besides that or “come to the dark side”? Rollins did his usual whining about the Authority and the obvious match was made for the opener.
The match was good as usual, with Cena winning via overcoming the odds. I’m fine with this, as Rollins got his big win the previous week. There isn’t much to say about this one, which is usually the case about good matches. Rollins losing isn’t a problem because a top star like John Cena shouldn’t be losing clean (or semi-clean) to almost anyone. Seth beat Cena last week with all the cheating and that’s all he ever needed to do.
Fandango beat Jack Swagger clean in about two minutes. This one was more annoying than anything else, but the more I think about it, the less there is to get mad about. At the end of the day, Fandango isn’t going to go anywhere. He’s a one idea character who has only gotten the attention he’s gotten because of how he speaks and the good looking women that dance with him. He isn’t going to become a big star or anything more than a midcarder because, barring changing a lot of things about him, he’s about reached his peak.
That brings us to Swagger, who does have room to grow, which is what got on my nerves about him losing. The more I think about it though, the less annoyed I am. Swagger may have room to grow, but he’s been so damaged over the last few years that there’s just no saving him, at least not without a major repackaging. The guy just isn’t going to get any better with this character because he’s been branded as a loser by the fans. That’s almost impossible to come back from and I don’t see it happening with him either.
R-Truth beat Adam Rose in less than a minute. Rose laid out the Bunny post match for what felt like his official heel turn.
Here’s the thing with Rose: he never should have been anything more than the modern day Godfather. He comes out to open a house show, talks about what a fun party this is, gets challenged by some low level heel (Titus, Slater, you get the idea), beats him in like two minutes and dances off while the crowd is fired up and ready to have a good time. That alone should have kept Rose employed for……oh I’d say three years at minimum.
But instead, they decided to give him a character, which hasn’t gone anywhere since it started. It seemed for a bit like they were focusing on the Bunny for awhile, but then that stopped being a thing for about a month and was seemingly dropped. Now no one cares about Rose and the guy that should have been one of the easiest opening acts ever has taken one of the dumbest heel turns I can remember in a long time. In other words, as usual, WWE doesn’t get the idea that some people have a spot and shouldn’t leave that spot no matter what.
Roman Reigns beat Big Show by countout in a quick match. This was just to set up their big showdown later in the future, even though I don’t know of many people who want to see it. People complain about Reigns not being ready, and this is a good example as to why. He’s being dragged down by this feud with Big Show that no one cares about, meaning he isn’t getting to grow.
Big Show continues to be this guy that is just thrown into main event level feuds without ever winning one, but in theory this is why they’ve had him look so dominant for so long recently. For some reason WWE thinks people care about Big Show, because so many people have responded to his recent efforts. The problem with him is simple: when you put EVERYONE over, putting someone else over doesn’t mean as much. Just ask Mick Foley or Chris Jericho.
Ambrose still wants to beat up Wyatt. They’ve reached the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting for months and that’s rarely a good thing.
Natalya made Brie Bella tap out in the usual Bella match. I guess they’re trying to make Nikki the next big deal, but my goodness it’s not working. But hey, some unknown critic likes Total Divas so that’s something right?
In another match where the writers aren’t thinking, Goldust and Stardust lost to Los Matadores and El Torito. Let me repeat that: the heels lost a handicap match to the good guys. In wrestling, the idea behind a face, most of the time at least, is that he’s fighting an uphill battle. Austin was fighting McMahon’s money and power, Hogan was fighting the entire Heenan Family, Los Matadores and Torito were fighting with a three man to two advantage. It goes against the basic logic of wrestling and should have made Goldust and Stardust faces. I’m supposed to boo someone who lost in a disadvantage? That makes no sense.
Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title over Luke Harper in the same match they’ve had half a dozen times now. I like the matches, but at the same time it’s really hard to care about something we’ve done that many times. Other than that, I didn’t like the spot where Harper no sold a superkick. That’s similar to the stuff from Japan that drives me crazy, though to be fair this was one time instead of five in a single match. At least it was only once, but I really hope that doesn’t become a thing in WWE.
Lana and Rusev were in Piper’s Pit until Ryback came out wearing a big bow. Piper was about as pointless of a cameo as I’ve ever seen here as he served no purpose other than to say he had a surprise for Rusev and bring out Ryback. He wasn’t even funny or serious to make it even less interesting.
Divas, bad match, moving on. The good girls won if you care for some reason.
Jimmy Uso and the Miz had the same match they’ve had a few times now. I still care about the story and want to see where it goes though, which is more than I can say about most of the things going on in WWE today. Nothing is going to matter until Naomi gets directly involved, and that needs to happen sooner rather than later.
The main event was another long match between Ambrose and Wyatt with Dean hammering on Bray for over twenty minutes before losing at the very end. They went with the Christmas presents idea here and opened up a bunch of weapons to make this a fun match. That being said, just like Ziggler vs. Harper, how many times can I sit here and watch these guys fight? The good thing is that Ambrose is still over, but that’s only going to last so long.
Overall Raw wasn’t nearly as bad as people say it was, but it’s still nothing all that great. The good stuff was good, but when they start dogging it with the filler that no one cares about, this show can fall down through a hole that it never recovers from. The three good matches more than carry it to a passing grade, but my goodness some of this stuff, mainly involving the Divas, was incredibly lame. They need to get to Rumble season, which has potential to be awesome, especially if Reigns isn’t a lock to win the whole thing. Acceptable, but still not great or even solid show this week.
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