WWE Fans Are Stupid: Countdown Edition
So I watched the latest episode of Countdown (great way to kill forty five minutes to an hour) and the topic was International Sensations. Then this happened.Here’s their top ten. Remember that these are voted on by the fans, though I believe there’s a list of options provided.
10. Cesaro
Not exactly a huge resume but some of his displays of strength are amazing. This is fine.
9. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers
They have a great theme song, but they never even won the Tag Team Titles. I’ll give them this though: they did translate the French in All America Boys, which turns out to be insulting America. That’s amusing but this should have been an honorable mention.
8. Santino Marella
And we’re done. Santino is a comedy character (if you call that comedy of course) and not exactly the most interesting guy in the world. Yeah he’s a popular guy now, but ten biggest international stars ever? Ok fine. We’ll get to the bad stuff in a bit.
7. Nikolai Volkoff
This would be part of the bad. Volkoff is a name and nothing more. Other than winning the Tag Team Titles a few times with Iron Sheik, he never did anything people remember. Oh wait scratch that. He lost. A lot. Like, A LOT.
6. British Bulldog
No issue here.
5. Great Khali
Eh……..I’m not sure on this one. Yeah he won a World Title and is a huge star in India, but fifth best ever? That’s a stretch.
4. Rusev
Maybe in five years, but this meant we could look at Lana more so I could live with it.
Now let’s pause for a second here and consider the names we have left:
Bret Hart
Bruno Sammartino
Chris Jericho
Andre the Giant
Rey Mysterio. What? They mentioned him at the beginning of the show, and remember he’s from that far off nation of San Diego.
Trish Stratus
Bad News Barrett. If the Fabulous Rougeaus can be on the list, why can’t Barrett?
I’m sure I’m forgetting some people, but that’s quite a list to pick three from.
3. Bruno Sammartino
You hold the World Title for eleven years and you’re not even in the top two? There are only two names that could possibly top him from a star power standpoint.
2. Sheamus
This isn’t one of them. I’m a big Sheamus fan and have been for years, but second ever? Alberto Del Rio has won more world titles than Sheamus and he can’t even make the top ten?
1. Iron Sheik
Did Iron Sheik wrestle a classic and win the World Title in two different matches at a great Wrestlemania? Ever headline the biggest show of all time? Ever BEAT HULK HOGAN FOR THE WORLD TITLE? Actually no, as he lost that match after holding the title for all of a month. He isn’t even Ivan Koloff but he’s the #1 international star of all time? I’m done.
This one actually made my head shake and that’s not supposed to happen on a show like Countdown. I’ve clearly failed as an educator to the masses.
While not entirely on topic, there was a segment on this episode that I think perfectly sums up all the awful “comedy” we see in WWE. During the parts unknown segment, there’s Vince, making an “Uranus” joke. I can just picture him writing it and not getting why no one else finds it funny. He’s the owner of a massive multi-media company and he’s making an “Uranus” joke.
I love Countdown and I’ve learned not to take it seriously. It is voted on but I don’t think it’s ever intended to be a real list. It’s almost like a parody of a countdown. When they do things like Best Finisher or Best Rumble Performances, those are real lists but a subject like this I’m pretty sure we’re just supposed to laugh at and turn our brains off.
I do hope they do a “Best Canadians” Countdown ep, just seems natural.
They can be batshit insane in choices like the tag teams and best factions ones.
Still, I do enjoy the fun they throw in with stuff like “Sparkplug” Holly’s “sponsers” and the Gobbledy-Gooker talking about his run. The choices they offer are usually good, just the fans picking the crap rankings that mars it.
Sheiky Baby recents the KB’s opinion. He will f*ck yer hass wit the Camel Clutch, break your back and make you humble. Hack, Puh!
FACKEN BULLSHEIT!
I’d say that Canadians weren’t included, but the Rougeaus are right there. Even Yoko would have been a substantially better choice than most of those entries.