Monday Nitro – December 13, 1999: Brace Yourself Starrcade
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Nitro #218
Date: December 13, 1999
Location: New Orleans, Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,835
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
We open with Benoit winning a fight against Jarrett in the back.
Opening sequence.
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Maestro
Nash is looking for Hall.
Evan Karagias hits on Spice but Madusa comes up to get in a catfight.
David Flair chases off a delivery man for reasons of general insanity.
Madusa vs. Spice
Post match Madusa kisses Evan and suplexes him.
Revolution recap.
Jim Duggan comes out to say he has three mystery partners on Sunday. He survived surgery to fight for this country and spend time with his wife and children. The lights go out and come back on to reveal Duggan out cold.
Roddy Piper is going to referee Bagwell vs. Hennig. Russo tells him to do the right thing.
Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell
Roddy Piper is guest referee and makes it a No DQ match just because. Buff throws Hennig down a few times and poses before planting Curt with a slam. This leads to Hennig arguing with Piper for some reason, allowing Buff to grab a rollup for two. Buzzkill is in the crowd and wants to save baby seals. Again I ask, why is this supposed to be funny?
An unhappy Creative Control is on stage.
Luger goes in to see David Flair and is scared by what he sees in the locker room.
Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett
A sports car arrives.
Meng vs. Tank Abbott
Oh sweet merciful goodness. This is a hardcore match because would you want to see them try to wrestle? They slug it out to start as this is designed to look like a shoot. Abbott takes him to the mat and they fight to the floor for a quick double countout. This is the guy Russo wanted to put the World Title on a month later?
Kanyon was in the car and seems to now be a pimp.
Police stop Piper from going after the Powers That Be.
Meng and Abbott are still fighting in the back.
Revolution vs. Harlem Heat/Midnight
Stevie yells at his brother.
Paul Orndorff is here and summoned to see the Powers That Be.
Finlay is still training Knobbs on how to be hardcore.
Norman Smiley and Jerry Flynn fight in the boiler room. That goes nowhere until Meng and Abbott wander in. Norman and Meng get out while Abbott and Flynn fight.
Sid has a kid named Seth who he calls his coach. Seth says Sid is his favorite wrestler in the world. I think the kid has Downs Syndrome. If he does, I have no issue with this segment whatsoever.
Steve Williams vs. Sid Vicious
David Flair/Total Package vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Sting
After a break, Bigelow comes to the ring and demands Kanyon come out here for a match.
Kanyon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Norman hides from Meng.
The Mamalukes have a body bag for Lash.
Piper babbles about his chair match later.
Lash Leroux vs. Big Vito
Post match the Mamalukes destroy Lash and put him in the bag, eventually taking him out to their car.
Paul Orndorff vs. Creative Control
Slick Johnson reverses the decision and names Creative Control the winners by DQ. Good for them I suppose.
Curt Hennig vs. Roddy Piper
Chairs match and another pairing that would have rocked in 1989. Piper apparently has a torn bicep so Hennig goes right after the arm. Roddy comes back with some chair shots and Hennig leaves after about 70 seconds. I see zero point to this match existing.
Bret Hart has been attacked and Goldberg checks on him.
Tag Team Titles: Bret Hart/Goldberg vs. Outsiders
Rating: D. Angle instead of a match here, but thank goodness they managed to get the World Champion pinned six days before Starrcade and give Hall a second (or third if you consider the TV Title still around) title. This is the problem with having the World Title match participants as champions, but giving it to them for four days made it even dumber.
Trash fills the ring to end the show.
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