Monday Night Raw – May 11, 2015: No Time To Talk

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 11, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Payback and the big story tonight is the return of the Authority, who are back after a few weeks off on vacation. Coming out of last week, the most interesting change is Cincinnati’s own Dean Ambrose being added to the main event on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

HHH arrives without Stephanie. There may be hope yet.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH to get things going. He talks about how his kids are so much better behaved when he says Daddy’s home, which is how things need to be around here with Kane and Seth Rollins. Seth is out first and agrees with what HHH (his daddy you see) said: they need to be on the same page. The fans want Ambrose but they get Rollins calling Kane a 7′ cancer trying to kill the Authority from the inside.

Rollins rants about Kane making the App vote to set up the triple threat, which was then turned into a fourway with Dean Ambrose. Seth: “THERE! Are you happy? I said his stupid name!” Maybe it’s time for Kane to be put aside as Director of Operations, because he’s not the same Kane that HHH used to run with. When were they EVER friends? Was that in the glorious Attitude Era when everyone was just so close in the destruction of WCW, which of course was never any sort of threat to the WWF, especially with DX around to win the Monday Night Wars totally on their own?

The argument starts again but HHH cuts them off to say he understands that Rollins can be annoying at times. However, he and Kane need to work together. Therefore, if Seth doesn’t leave Payback with the title, Kane must set himself on fire. Sorry, bit of a flashback there. If Rollins doesn’t keep the title, Kane is out as boss. HHH needs to makes sure Kane is invested in the plan though, so he makes Kane vs. Reigns and Rollins vs. Orton tonight. Noble interrupts but HHH laughs the Stooges off and makes short jokes before putting them in a handicap match with Ambrose.

Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose beats on Mercury to start and clotheslines him out to the floor before going after Noble for a change of pace. Jamie begs off and runs to the floor to escape Dirty Deeds, allowing Mercury to sneak in from behind and pull Dean off the top and onto the ropes. Joey’s chinlock doesn’t do him much good as Dean sends the Stooges into each other. Jamie gets chopped down but Mercury breaks up the bulldog out of the corner. That earns them a double suicide dive, followed by the top rope standing elbow for two on Jamie. Dirty Deeds ends Noble at 5:23.

Rating: D+. What do you really want me to say here? It’s a total massacre with Dean never breaking a sweat to win. I’ll give them this though: the Stooges are a better option in the ring than the originals, as you could only but Patterson and Brisco as a physical threat against a handful of people. Noble and Mercury aren’t great, but they’re hardly ancient.

Cole says there’s an interesting poll on WWE.com where fans give Ambrose a 25% chance to win on Sunday. Just….yeah.

Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett

Sheamus on commentary and Barrett’s pre-match promo tell us that it’s Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Barrett vs. Neville on Sunday. Ziggler superkicks Barrett at the bell for two and we take an early break. Back with Barrett putting on a royal chinlock before Dolph fights up for two off a Fameasser. A dropkick gets the same for Dolph and draws Sheamus out of his chair. The distraction lets Barrett nail the Bull Hammer for the pin at 6:00. Too much in the break to rate but this was nothing to see.

Post match Sheamus yells that Dolph isn’t fit to clean his shoes and winds up eating a Brogue Kick.

Erick Rowan vs. Fandango

Harper is in Rowan’s corner and this is revenge from Smackdown where Rowan laid Fandango out. The announcers take bets on how long it takes Rowan to crush Fandango. A spinwheel kick and full nelson slam give Erick the pin at 37 seconds.

It’s Open Challenge time and Cena is surprised that there are some people here who sound like John Cena fans. Whether you like him or hate him, it’s pretty clear that everyone respects the US Title. Cena believes that this is the greatest country on earth and this title is its trophy.

There are wrestlers who will work their entire lives and never get a chance at the WWE Title, but that’s what makes the US Title special: everyone has an opportunity to take this from him. Everyone except Rusev that is, because he wants his match at Payback. People have advised Cena to cancel the Open Challenge tonight, but Cena thinks we should ask the people. The fans want a match so the challenge is on.

US Title: John Cena vs. Neville

Neville tries an armbar to start but the champ drops him with an elbow to the jaw for two. We hit the chinlock but Neville fights up and dropkicks Cena outside as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the shoulders until he walks into a German suplex for two. Cena rolls outside and takes a huge corkscrew Asai moonsault with a big crash landing. Back in and a middle rope Phoenix Splash gets two on Cena. Neville fires off his kicks but charges into a sitout powerslam for two.

Cena can’t follow up but he can roll through Cena’s middle rope cross body into an AA, only to have Neville flip out and blast Cena with a superkick for two. The Red Arrow takes too long to set up though and Cena pulls him into the STF, only to have Neville roll over for two. Cena gets annoyed with Neville and takes his head off with a clothesline. Back up and Cena misses a charge and gets kicked in the head, only to snap off an AA for two. Cena loads up the super AA but Neville counters into a sitout powerbomb. The Red Arrow connects but Rusev comes in for the DQ at 14:47.

Rating: B+. Well of course Rusev comes in because THIS FEUD MUST FREAKING CONTINUE EVEN THOUGH NO ONE BUT THE LAZY WRITERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO DO ANYTHING NEW AND JUST HAVE THE SAME STUPID MATCH OVER AND OVER UNTIL NO ONE CARES ABOUT RUSEV BECAUSE CENA BEATS HIM THREE PAY PER VIEWS IN A ROW. Great match of course but gah I’m sick of this Cena vs. Rusev feud because no one on the planet buys Rusev as having a chance save for a fluke ending.

Rusev Accolades Cena post match and we get the eternally stupid question of CAN RUSEV MAKE CENA QUIT ON SUNDAY? Allow me to put this politely: STOP BOOKING CENA IN I QUIT MATCHES BECAUSE THE IDEA STOPPED BEING INTERESTING TEN YEARS AGO!

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Kane jumps Reigns during his entrance and destroys him before the bell. Reigns fights back and knocks Kane into the barricade, only to be sent hard into the steps. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns dives over the steps and Superman Punches Kane onto the table. A spear onto but not through the table puts both guys down. No match.

Brie Bella vs. Tamina

This is basically a proxy match for Naomi vs. Nikki. Tamina takes Brie down with some hard shots, including a stiff clothesline for two. Brie flips out of a belly to back and fights back, only to screw up a ram into the buckle. How can you possibly screw up pushing someone into a buckle? The running knee in the ropes has Tamina in trouble but she comes back with a superkick for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. How do you screw up ramming someone face first into the buckle? It’s hard for me to say this but Nikki is so far ahead of Brie in the ring that it’s not even funny. Brie didn’t look lost out there but she didn’t look polished on offense. Granted it might be because she’s been relegated to a glorified cheerleader in recent weeks.

Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Mandow loads up the elbow about thirty seconds in but cue the Ascension to say this isn’t entertaining. This is now the age of total devastation so welcome to the wasteland. Ascension hits the ring at about 2:00 for the no contest…..and they’re promptly beaten down as the new Mega Powers hit the leg and load up the elbow but Ascension bails. We even get the big handshake as the Ascension is further buried. And yes, this is being buried.

Tough Enough videos.

Here’s a sad looking Daniel Bryan with something to say. He’s been in and out of doctors’ offices lately and it’s given him a lot of down time. Bryan needed to be back here with his music playing and the fans cheering for him. He can’t remember how long the fans have been cheering for him like he’s something special but it was about a year ago when he had to vacate the World Title. Stephanie McMahon told him that he couldn’t do it last year and as much as he hates to admit it, she was right.

Last year he couldn’t wrestle and give the title the respect that it deserved. That brings him to tonight, as he doesn’t know if he can defend this title regularly. He recently had an MRI and the doctors aren’t sure when he’s going to be able to get back in the ring. The fans deserve wrestlers fighting for this title in this ring, and this ring is where Bryan is going to leave it. Tonight the title is officially vacated. Daniel and the fans thank each other and he walks away.

Here’s New Day for a match but first, Woods says don’t be sad over Bryan because it’s a NEW DAY. Everyone deserves a second chance (Big E.: “Except Pete Rose.”), so they’re giving Cesaro and Tyson Kidd a second chance on Sunday in a 2/3 falls match.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Cesaro grabs a quick slam for two before knocking E. to the floor for a break. Back with Cesaro reversing an abdominal stretch into a gutwrench suplex. Cesaro has to roll away from a Warrior Splash but gets caught by a Rock Bottom out of the corner for two. Back up and Cesaro hits a ridiculous springboard spinning European uppercut before rolling some Germans. Kidd and Woods get into it on the floor but the distraction lets Cesaro small package Big E. for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. This was decent enough but they needed less time in the break and more time in the match itself. Cesaro continues to thrive in this face role as we’re seeing what fans wanted to get last year instead of the Paul Heyman guy disaster. Nice little TV match here, but there’s nothing these teams can’t pull off.

Axelmania/Macho Mandow vs. Ascension on the pre-show. Well of course it is.

There’s going to be a second pay per view in May, featuring the return of the Elimination Chamber on May 30, or two weeks after Payback.

The Prime Time Players imitate the New Age Outlaws this week. If you’re not down with that, they have three words for you: millions of dollars.

Here’s Bray Wyatt to talk about the fear that is sold to us every day. Fear of a crumbling economy that will never stop. Fear of a global conflict. Fear of a dying earth. Ryback must be such an inspiration to all of you. His ankle was destroyed and he was told he might never get in this ring again. Ryback got back in though and destroys everything in his path, but he’s never seen anything like Bray Wyatt before. Sometimes the bad guy just wins. Only on C level pay per views, so Bray has a good shot on Sunday. Cue Ryback to clean house.

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and Rollins is on his own. Orton runs him over to start and stomps away but Rollins sends him into the middle buckle. A knee to the back sends Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Orton in a chinlock before fighting up and nailing a superplex. They slowly slug it out with Orton taking over off some clotheslines but charging into an elbow to the jaw.

Rollins dives into the powerslam for two but nails the springboard knee to the jaw for two. He really likes hitting Orton in the jaw. A t-bone suplex puts Seth down but Orton rolls outside, setting up the suicide dive from the champ. They’re just trading big moves here. Back in and the RKO is countered into the low superkick (of course to the jaw) for two more. Rollins charges into the elevated DDT and the RKO is loaded up but we’ve got Stooges for the DQ at 14:15.

Rating: C. This was decent enough but they weren’t hiding the impending DQ. I’m not a fan of matches like these but the majority of the match was spent trading big moves, which at least keeps things interesting. It’s nothing great, but I don’t think this is going to be as well received as it should.

Post match Orton gets beaten down but Kane comes out to get a chair. Ambrose and Reigns come out to clean house, leaving Rollins surrounded. Kane watches as Seth takes all three finishers but Reigns spears Orton down, only to walk into Dirty Deeds to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near as good as last week, but that’s not a fair standard to live up to. The key improvement in the last two weeks has been the pacing. They’ve cut WAY down on the amount of backstage segments and it’s made the show so much easier to sit through.

Those times in the back where Kane and Rollins bicker and the Authority cuts their stupid promos that say nothing but eat up five minute each would bring the shows to a grinding halt. However, we really, really need to get past Payback so we can get in a fresh story….which will last two weeks until the Elimination Chamber because WE MUST SELL THE NETWORK! EVEN IF THE PLAN DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE!

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Dirty Deeds to Noble
Erick Rowan b. Fandango – Full nelson slam

Neville b. John Cena via DQ when Rusev interfered

Tamina b. Brie Bella – Superkick

Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow went to a no contest when Ascension interfered

Cesaro b. Big E. – Small package

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered

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