Monday Nitro – February 7, 2000: Hey Old Guys

Monday Nitro #226
Date: February 7, 2000
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,358
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re two weeks from SuperBrawl and most of the card is coming in clear. Unfortunately that means we can see what’s coming and therefore are all running for the hills before it kills us all. Hogan is back and seems to hate anyone young, Sid has been in back to back Thunder Caged Heat main events and Jeff Jarrett has power because Nash has disappeared. Fun times eh? Let’s get to it.

We open with the recap of last week, with the NWO adding the Harris Twins and then the completely unnecessary Caged Heat match on Thunder. What a great way to open the show.

The NWO has surprises for Sid and Funk. Nash is going to be back soon.

Here’s 3 Count for a performance (things are looking up) but they stop to allow a woman to get in the ring to dance with them. Disaster strikes though as the music messes up and they can’t lip sync. We cut to the production truck to see Norman Smiley screwing with things and now let’s have a match.

Norman Smiley vs. Evan Karagias

Madden is on Evan’s side because the internet marks like Smiley. I’m remembering why I can’t stand him. Evan quickly throws him outside but 3 Count tosses Norman back inside. Is this a mutiny already? Back in and Evan gets suplexed, only to counter the spanking dance into a faceplant. Shannon gets on the apron but Evan is whipped into him because 3 Count isn’t the brightest group of cats in the world. Evan’s rollup is reversed (with the referee stopping halfway through his count because it takes too long) into one from Norman for the fast pin.

Norman wants all three of them at SuperBrawl. You and every other teenage girl in the world Smiley.

Danny Hodge is here. He deserves better.

The announcers run down the card.

J. Biggs has cops search Booker’s bags and confiscate any Harlem Heat gear. This is so, so sad.

Flair and some women arrive.

Here’s the NWO with something to say. Hall won’t say Hey Yo so a Harris insults the crowd for being a bunch of morons. They’re kind of missing the point of having them be muscle. Ron actually calls this the Elite NWO. Steiner one ups that by calling himself the Purple Warrior. I really don’t want to know what that means.

Last week he saw a 53 year old man (meaning Flair, though he’s not quite that old) come out here and brag about how he’s still the man. Flair has a crooked nose and yellow teeth, so why didn’t they bring in the original Nature Boy Buddy Rogers? Steiner thinks it might be because he’s dead. Last week when Flair came down the aisle, everyone changed the channel to watch Stone Cold, a guy that Flair and his boys got fired from here. A lot of Steiner’s insults are censored but WCW SUCKS gets through.

Jarrett brings us back to reality by saying Mark Johnson will be referee during the Sid vs. Jarrett title match. Remember that he’s the referee that was paid off last week. The match will also be No DQ, which is probably the best option. Tonight it’s Hall vs. Sid in a non-title match, which doesn’t seem to please Hall.

So to recap, in the last five days, Hogan has said all the young guys are worthless and Steiner has said the fans change the channel when Flair comes on screen because they’re watching Steve Austin on Raw. These two are both going to be World Champion at some point in the year.

Booker says Biggs and company have taken his colors and music but they’ll never take his dignity. No Booker, I’m pretty sure they have.

David Flair is going to have an I Quit match against Terry Funk tonight and fight one of his dad’s battles for him.

Booker vs. The Wall

There are no flames for Booker’s entrance and he comes out to what sounds like the theme to Leave It To Beaver. Madden gets in a line clever enough that I’m sure he didn’t come up with it himself: Ice T. is now just Ice and Hulk Hogan is now immoral. Booker slugs away and hits a spin kick to start but charges into a boot in the corner.

Wall throws him outside and stomps on Booker as he gets back inside. Booker throws on a sleeper for a few seconds but Wall slams him down and goes up top, only to dive into a kick. There’s the ax kick and a Bookend but here’s J. Biggs to call Booker a criminal. In the distraction a chokeslam ends Booker.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying to push someone else. Wall may be a big, mostly talentless lug, but at least he’s someone new. I don’t have any faith in them to not screw up his push and turn it into a big waste, but at least it’s happening. However, the fact that it’s coming as part of this stupid story makes it even worse. But wait. It gets better.

Booker is arrested for assault and battery, reckless endangerment and attempted murder. I’ve sat through a lot of nonsense in WCW, but this is a rare care where it’s hard to watch. This is just so, so stupid.

Knobbs wants Finlay tonight. Jarrett says ok but that it’s Knobbs vs. Bigelow with Finlay as referee. Can we please get some fresh blood in this “division?”

Funk asks Anderson where he stands in the war with Flair. Anderson says he’ll answer after he sees how Funk does against David Flair.

Lane and Idol ask for a title shot again.

Tank Abbott vs. Barbarian

Barbarian is in a leather jacket because he’s a tough monster with a slick fashion sense. They slug each other, Abbott does a kind of slam and a big right hand ends Barbarian in a hurry.

Crowbar plays air guitar in front of Demon’s casket until Daffney calls him away.

Torrie with the KidCam.

Here’s Ed Ferrara, who has been put in charge of starting the women’s division. Those “adorable” women have no place in wrestling though so first up, they’ll all have to go through extensive medical tests, with Ferrara present for all of them. This brings out a Dr. Jeter, who has done procedures on a lot of women, including Madusa. Cue Madusa to kick both of them low. Yet another stupid waste of time.

Terry Taylor has talked to the executive committee. Mark Johnson will not be refereeing at SuperBrawl and tonight’s match is for the title. Speaking of wastes of time, these stipulations were announced less than an hour ago and now they’re changed. Such a great use of TV time.

We get clips from 1989 of Funk vs. Flair in the I Quit match.

David Flair vs. Terry Funk

I Quit. David sends Crowbar and Daffney to the back. Funk asks if David knows what he’s getting into and offers him a chance to go ahead and quit now. David will have nothing to do with that and hits Funk with a few chair shots to start. They head outside and it’s already table time but Terry whips him into the barricade.

Funk pulls back the mats for a piledriver….on the mats. To be fair he is crazy. David still won’t quit so he gets piledriven on the concrete. That gets the same result, followed by a piledriver through the table. A chair to the back knocks David out and Funk quits, but he won’t do the same against Ric. David, out cold, is the winner.

Rating: D+. I’ll give them some points for the violence and for the story they’re going with, but at the same time this is for a feud that started ten years ago and the best idea they’ve got is to just do it again. Total squash of course, but David better take some time off after a beating like that.

In the back, Arn yells at Ric for letting that happen. Ric needs to stop being Ric Flair and to start being David’s father. For once in his life, he’s bowing out, because that made him sick. Anderson is still the best talker in this company right now.

Stevie Ray vs. Disco Inferno

Disco tries to take him into the corner to start but gets slammed down. The announcers are officially calling Booker just Booker now as the Mamalukes and Big T. argue on the floor. Madden: “Didn’t this Biggs guy used to carry a tennis racket?” I’m not sure if that line is funny or not. Disco hits a quick Russian legsweep and the middle rope elbow for two but tries to steal the slapjack, allowing Stevie to hit the Slapjack for the pin. I guess Harlem Heat is coming for the belts again?

Jarrett thinks WCW is trying to rip the NWO apart but Hall laughs it off because the title will stay in the family either way.

Sid doesn’t care who he fights tonight because he’s outsmarted the NWO time after time. That’s one heck of an insult.

Flair rants about Arn being in over his head and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Knobbs is defending and has a broken wrist thanks to Luger. We see a clip of it being broken and they put January 31 instead of a simple last week. Finlay is guest referee again. Bigelow throws a trashcan at Knobbs to start and the champ is in early trouble. He whips Knobbs into the barricade and steps with Brian unable to use the bad arm to stop the impact. In for the first time with Knobbs hitting a ladder and having it fall on top of him. Knobbs makes a comeback but Finlay hits him with a chair, followed by a fast count to give Bigelow the title. Again, this is probably the most logical story in the promotion at the moment.

Ernest Miller brags about hanging out with James Brown and promises to have Brown on Thunder. Well, Brown kind of fits in with WCW as he’s old, but at least he’s still entertaining.

Steve Borden (yes Steve Borden) will be on the Late Show.

Billy Kidman vs. The Demon

This has to be a test for Kidman to see what kind of miracles he can pull off. Demon’s entrance is hyped up even more than usual here and we cut to the back to see Crowbar having a great time watching it. Demon eats a dropkick to start and tosses Kidman across the ring like he’s nothing. A legdrop and butterfly suplex (but a DEMONIC legdrop and DEMONIC butterfly suplex) get two for Demon but the fans are more interested in Torrie. Kidman’s Bodog gets two and Demon gets the same off a DDT. For some reason Demon goes up top, allowing Kidman to hurricanrana him down for the pin. No miracle but watchable.

Luger comes to the ring, holding a Hogan chair.

Ready To Rumble is coming.

Jarrett tells the NWO they can’t answer the ringing phone.

Here’s Luger to discuss Hogan returning on Thunder. Hogan thinks he’s the best ever but Luger has won every title there is (except the WWF Title. Why not bring that up? They reference the WWF every chance they can) and is the future of professional wrestling. Jimmy Hart is ordered to come out to deliver Hogan a message, but Jimmy refuses.

Luger is just a Hogan wannabe because he’ll never sell as much merchandise or as many tickets as Hogan did. So Luger wants to talk about titles and Hogan’s lackey wants to talk about attendance records? Luger beats Hart up, Racks him and breaks his arm. I guess he’s not over Jimmy leaving him alone at Uncensored 1996. I wouldn’t want to be left alone there either.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall

Sid is defending and it’s already after 10pm so this isn’t going to last long. Vicious punches him down before the toothpick throw, messing up Hall’s mojo. The champ stays hyped with right hands in the corner and a chokeslam less than a minute in but there’s no cover. Hall pops up and slugs away before loading up the fall away slam. In the worst ref bump I’ve ever seen, the referee stands RIGHT BEHIND HALL so Sid is thrown into him, allowing Jarrett to come out. The Outsider’s Edge connects but Jeff guitars Hall, for wanting the pin. Either that or over Royal Rumble 1995 residuals. Sid is dragged on top to retain.

Rating: F. I was tempted to not rate this one as it was barely a match. This was just an angle disguised as a match as the NWO is splitting, assuming you considered Hall part of it in the first place. I’m assuming this sets up a three way at SuperBrawl, which has to be better than just Jarrett vs. Sid.

Overall Rating: D. They’re starting the build towards SuperBrawl and it’s one of the least interesting shows I’ve seen in a long time. The Sid vs. Jarrett feud is horrible and doing nothing to make me want to keep watching. Other than that we have the veterans seemingly shooting on the company and calling it out on all its screwups, despite being the focal points of the whole show. Really lame show this week but at least they seem to have a purpose now.