Monday Nitro – March 6, 2000: Oh Dear. Oh Dear Indeed.

Monday Nitro #230
Date: March 6, 2000
Location: Student Activities Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Attendance: 4,682
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re getting closer to the horror that is Uncensored 2000 and Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid Vicious. Both guys are talented and have their place on the card, but the main event isn’t the right spot for either of them, especially coming off HHH vs. Foley and transitioning into HHH vs. Rock. Other than that, since we’re in North Carolina, you can pencil in Flair for a loss or some sort of humiliation. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Fit Finlay choking Vampiro after promising to teach him some respect last week. Vampiro fights back but we cut to the arena for some pyro.

Psychosis vs. Kaz Hayashi

Juventud Guerrera is out with Psychosis for his Rock stuff and promises to live la vida loca. Kaz quickly knocks Psychosis to the floor and dives onto both guys for a nice spot. Back in and a dropkick puts Psychosis (Madden keeps calling him Psycho) down again and a spinwheel kick fires Kaz up even more. This is more emotion than I’ve seen from him in a long time.

Psychosis grabs a quick gordbuster as Juvy sits on the apron. Cue Finlay and Vampiro to fight at ringside and then into the ring to really wake the crowd up. Psychosis’ top rope hurricanrana gets two but here are Paisley and the Artist etc to watch. Kaz gets dropkicked out of the air and takes the guillotine legdrop for no cover. Instead Prince gets on the apron and hits Psychosis with the belt, giving Kaz a rollup pin.

Rating: C. Yeah it was an overbooked mess, but it was a fun overbooked mess and that’s a good way to open a show. Kaz looked like a guy who was trying to make something of his TV time and I can never fault someone for doing that. It’s not a great match and Prince is still an anchor holding the division down, but this was the fast paced, fun match the division has been missing.

Psychosis and Juvy beat Prince down post match.

We look back at Jarrett pinning Vampiro last week.

Tonight’s main event: Sid/Vampiro vs. Jarrett/Don Harris. I’m digging these young guys getting main event slots but good grief the heels are dragging these things down.

Security finally breaks up Vampiro and Finlay, ten minutes after we first saw them fighting.

The NWO, in a room with couches and black walls, laugh off the idea of facing Vampiro tonight.

Disco and the Mamalukes aren’t worried about the Harris Twins. Johnny is swearing off cheese sandwiches until Uncensored and Vito is taking out Ron Harris tonight.

Vampiro is beating up various trashcans backstage.

Ricki Rachman and the Nitro Girls were at Duke University on Friday. This eats up far more time than it should. To their credit there was some money given to a children’s hospital so at least some good came from it.

Ron Harris vs. Big Vito

Harris stomps him down to start but Vito kicks him in the face. Tony: “Would you call that a Mafia Kick?” Madden: “I’d call it an Italian American Heritage Kick.” The Twins quickly switch places and Don hits Vito with a chain for the pin in less than a minute.

And never mind as instant replay shows the cheating and Vito wins. Disco and the champs take H Bombs until the Power Plant security guards and a cop come out and get beaten down as well.

David Flair, on his 21^st birthday, is going to beat up the Wall for hurting Crowbar on Thunder. That was one heck of a chokeslam through the table.

The Harris Twins are arrested for shoving the cop. I’m not sure why they both are when only one touched the cop but it’s wrestling logic.

The official tagline for Sid vs. Jarrett at Uncensored: the monster against the music. This is getting higher and higher on the list of horrible WCW ideas every single week.

The Wall vs. David Flair

Wall throws him to the floor to start and puts up a pair of tables. Daffney distracts Wall with screams, allowing David to hit him in the back with a crowbar. The metal rod to the back is no sold and David gets chokeslammed through both tables for the DQ.

Daffney cries over how hurt David may be. Trainers come out, as do Curt Hennig, Terry Funk and Arn Anderson. Curt says David’s old man should have been here. Ric was shown in the back earlier.

Back from a break with David being taken away on a stretcher. Bam Bam Bigelow yells at Wall for taking it too far so Wall hits him once, knocking him onto a table. Bigelow implied that he trained/mentored Wall before getting knocked six feet off a single punch.

The Dog vs. Evan Karagias

I’ve wondered this forever, but why in the world is Brian Knobbs’ theme music a rock version of My Sharona? Dog beats up all three members of 3 Count but gets triple teamed, drawing in Knobbs and Finlay. It’s eventually just Dog in the ring, leaving everyone else to mindlessly fight outside. Dog hits a running splash on Evan and then bites his ear. Finlay throws Evan into the barricade and we see Dog’s red eyes. All six get in again until Knobbs helps Dog with a middle rope powerslam to pin Evan.

Rating: N/A. It was long enough to rate but this was such a mess and the two people actually in the match were only together in the ring for about half the time. Much like the Tag Team Title feud, this isn’t interesting but at least it’s a feud that can be simply explained. That doesn’t make it good, but it makes sense which is more than you can say about a lot of stuff around here.

Ric Flair says his son is a big boy and can take care of himself. He’s ready for Hennig again tonight.

Jarrett yells at his three NWO girls about the situation tonight.

Nitro Girls for the first time in a long while.

Sid begs Vampiro to help him fight tonight. Vampiro says he’ll be there.

Here are Jarrett and the girls with something to say. Jeff ejects the girls (who now have names: Kim, Tylene and Midajah) and says tonight there was a travesty of justice. The Twins are gone, but Jeff has a replacement: The Wall. Again, well done on putting young guys in big spots, and for once that’s not sarcasm.

2XS (Lane and Idol) are on the phone but Idol says he lives here now so he’s over with the rats. They see Demon’s coffin and have an idea.

Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair

Please give them time. Flair rips on the UNC Tar Heels basketball team and thinks they should be wrestling at Duke (UNC’s major rival) tonight instead. Curt chops away in the corner to start and gives Ric a backdrop as only Flair can take one. They head outside with Flair striking away until Hennig chops him against the barricade. Back in and Flair goes…well he goes Flair actually as he suckers Hennig into the corner for a low blow.

More chops on the floor have Curt in more trouble as the idea is Flair being more aggressive than usual because of Hogan. So yeah, we’re back to the RIC IS CRAZY because of Hogan idea from 1994. After some stomps to the leg, the Figure Four goes on but Hennig turns it over as you would expect him to do. They’re not exactly blowing the roof off the place here. Hennig makes his comeback but has to deal with Luger, followed by a quick PerfectPlex for the pin on Flair.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable match here but that’s par for the course from these two. Hennig vs. Flair is always good for a decent match and it’s nice to see an older guy like Flair still trying around here. Luger and Flair are a good enough heel team, but Luger is so worthless these days and it’s killing whatever good Flair brings to it.

Hennig’s arm gets broken but Arn Anderson comes out to stand over him. Luger pulls the bat back to hit him but Flair shakes his head no and Lex drops it.

Lane and Idol weld the Demon’s casket shut, because WCW catering now has blowtorches if you get the meal deal special. Demon comes up but gets beaten down because WCW isn’t scared of a lawsuit.

More Nitro Party stuff.

Hennig is taken into an ambulance.

Flair and Luger brag and Liz looks especially gorgeous here.

Lane vs. Norman Smiley

Idol is on commentary as Norman starts with some dancing. A victory roll doesn’t work so well and Smiley is sent outside, where Lane takes him down with a big flip dive. Back in and Lane gets slammed down but breaks up the Big Wiggle with a low blow. As usual, the referee sees this and doesn’t seem to care. Lane misses a moonsault (landing on his head) to set up Norman’s giant swing. Cue Miss Hancock to get on the table but she doesn’t dance. The distraction is enough for the Norman’s Conquest to make Lane tap out in a hurry.

Demon comes out to beat up Lane and Idol but gets in a staredown with Norman. Sure why not.

Sid promises to win at Uncensored.

An angry Tank Abbott is in the ring and doesn’t care for the GOLDBERG chants. He isn’t worried about Sid either because he only tapped because WCW was taking him off TV. Tank isn’t leaving until he gets a match.

Tank Abbott vs. La Parka

One punch knockout. I’m so glad La Parka was given a winning streak over the last few weeks.

Doug Dillinger won’t get Tank out of the ring so here’s Meng, but JJ Dillon threatens to dock him 60 days pay if he gets in. Nothing comes of this because having a fun segment isn’t something WCW will tolerate on their television shows.

Nitro Girls again.

Hogan, in a pre-taped interview, has signed release notes for the Yappapi Strap Match against Flair. He goes over the mindset behind the match and promises to strap Flair over and over. This was an old school promo but this isn’t an old school show.

Kidman vs. Harlem Heat 2000

Kidman says he has a partner but gets beaten down before he can bring anyone down. After about thirty seconds of beating, here’s Booker to even things up. Booker cleans house but the double teaming gets to him as this actually breaks down into a tag match. Everything breaks down and there’s a Book End on Big T. with Kidman dropping a top rope elbow but Cash (or is it Cass?) pulls the referee to the floor. Stevie hits something on Kidman off camera for the pin, because pulling the referee to the floor isn’t a DQ in WCW. I think the better question is what IS a DQ in this company these days.

Here’s Dustin Rhodes with some barbed wire (clearly not real) and something to say. He knocks Terry Funk unconscious two weeks ago but Funk got up and kept coming because he’s a stupid old man. Dustin rips on the internet fans and says he’s ready to make Terry bleed tonight.

After we don’t hear the end of “you people s….” because SUCK of all things is censored, Terry Funk comes out to call Dustin a chicken. He imitates Foghorn Leghorn of all things and says he has Dustin’s illegitimate brother in a garbage bag. Inside the bag is a plucked chicken wearing a diaper because why not. Terry thinks Dustin wants a barbed wire match so Dustin throws powder in his face and piledrives him. The threat of a powerbomb makes Funk come back with a low blow and a slam onto the wire.

Jeff Jarrett/The Wall vs. Sid Vicious/Vampiro

Before the match, Jeff ejects the girls again. Tony makes the big announcement for Sting vs. Luger: it’s a lumberjack cast match with everyone whose arm Luger has broken will surround the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the big guys fighting out to the floor. We settle down to Vampiro working on Wall’s arm until Jeff gets in a cheap shot from the apron to change control.

Jeff comes in and works over Vampiro with that riveting Memphis style of his until Vampiro plants him with a Rock Bottom. The hot tag brings in Sid to clean house and chokeslam Jeff, but Wall breaks it up. Sid clotheslines Jarrett to the floor and the big guys grab each other by the throat, only to have Jarrett sneak in with the guitar to Sid. Wall chokeslams Sid and Jeff gets the pin to end the show.

Rating: D. I really didn’t care for this one but it’s nice to see someone like Wall getting a spot here. Vampiro was really just kind of there but it’s always cool to see the youth movement finally going somewhere. Unfortunately it ends with Jeff pinning Sid again to set up the lame World Title match down the line, but that’s WCW for you.

Overall Rating: D+. As boring as the main event stuff has been lately, this really wasn’t a bad show. They’re building up some coherent stories and the young guys are getting some higher spots on the card, which makes for a show that actually entertains at points. Now don’t get me wrong: it’s still really boring and the idea of Uncensored makes me cringe, but this has been a major upgrade over the last few months.

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