Monday Night Raw – August 17, 2015: Glory, Glory, Repeat, Repeat

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 17, 2015
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and we’re in Brock Lesnar’s hometown. Lesnar is in the house tonight for a showdown with the Undertaker, which is probably the best chance WWE will have at getting Undertaker booed in this whole story. Other than that we have another stare down between John Cena and Seth Rollins before their title for title match on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

With no opening sequence, here are HHH and Stephanie to get things going. Stephanie says this is like Christmas morning when you’re waiting to open your presents. Shouldn’t that be Christmas Eve? There is very little waiting to open presents on Christmas morning. They plug the $9.99 price of course, which has basically become their catchphrase. HHH runs through the card and Stephanie makes sure to call Cena and Rollins’ match from a month ago infamous.

What exactly is infamous about that match? I mean, there was a big moment, but that doesn’t make it infamous. They throw in that Jon Stewart is the official host, with Stephanie of course turning it into a press release because just saying “former Daily Show host Jon Stewart” is too low key for her. We’re promised a big week and a big night so it’s time to start things up.

Randy Orton/Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens/Sheamus

A few notes during the entrances. First of all, I have time to make notes during the entrances despite Orton coming out before the break. Back from the break and his music is still playing and we waste time on the entrances. Second, Sportscenter is broadcasting from Summerslam this Sunday, which is really awesome. Cesaro and Sheamus get things going but the fans want Orton instead. Fans: “YOU LOOK STUPID!” Sheamus rolls to the floor and says “respect the hawk!”

Back in and a shoulder sends Sheamus outside again as they’re starting slowly here. Owens gets his turn and cuts Orton off from making a tag in a wily move. That earns him a clothesline and now Orton makes the tag (with a big windup to play to the crowd), allowing Cesaro to come in for a delayed suplex. A running uppercut sends Owens to the floor and us to a break.

We come back with Owens hammering on Orton and sending him into Sheamus’ raised boot. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Orton throws Owens down and makes the hot tag to Cesaro. House is cleaned as it often is during a hot tag, but Sheamus gets in a shot to slow Cesaro down. Sheamus goes up but dives into an uppercut for two but is still able to send Cesaro over the top and (eventually) out to the floor.

Orton is fine with that as he sneaks up on Sheamus for the hanging DDT. Owens tries to come in but…..doesn’t take the RKO. That looked a bit botched as Owens didn’t go down, which I’m sure is due to his overwhelming fat and total inability to connect with an audience so he should probably lost five matches in a row. Instead Sheamus takes the RKO for the pin at 13:30.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but the botch at the end really didn’t hurt things that much. The problem here was the match being a bit longer than it needed to and focusing on the chinlocks and rest holds instead of really anything else. These feuds aren’t exactly lighting the world on fire, but Owens and Cesaro can redeem themselves with an awesome match. Orton vs. Sheamus…..well that might take a bit more effort.

Video on Undertaker and Lesnar’s issues since Battleground.

Undertaker, covered in smoke and shadows, talks about the reaper calling your name, which means it’s over. The hounds are baying for Lesnar’s soul and the gates are opening to welcome him to his eternal punishment. Brock’s name has been called and he will never rest in peace.

Here’s Rollins breaking Cena’s nose, in case you missed it the first 1938 times.

Rollins says the contract signing tonight will seal the deal for Sunday. The Authority agrees, but Rollins has one more request. When he wins on Sunday and becomes the first double champion, he deserves a spot among the legends, like a statue. Stephanie actually agrees.

Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper

Since there is no other way to build a tag match besides have every possible combination fight time after time. Ambrose is on commentary. Reigns starts slugging away to start (shocking) as Dean tries to figure out how Harper is part of Bray’s family. Byron asks Dean why the two families hate each other. Dean: “It’s like cats hating dogs. I don’t know why they hate each other either but we hate the Wyatts too.” Reigns kicks away at Harper and clotheslines him out to the floor, setting up the running apron boot as we take a break.

Back with Harper holding a chinlock and Dean keeping his eye on Bray. Reigns finally suplexes out but Harper hits one of the best big boots I’ve ever seen for two. Even Dean just went quiet when that connected. Reigns fights out of the Gator Roll and wins another slugout before mixing things up a bit with a t-bone suplex. They head outside for a nice clothesline off the apron to drop Harper but Roman can’t follow up. Back in and Reigns hits what feels like his 10^th clothesline of the match, followed by a Samoan drop for two.

The Superman Punch is loaded up but Harper is smart enough to go outside, suckering Roman in for a superkick. Harper shrugs off a Superman Punch through the apron and grabs Winds of Change (called that by Cole, even though that’s Barrett’s name for it) for two more. Another superkick (dang these guys are repetitive) is followed by a nice sitout powerbomb but Reigns kicks out one more time. A second Superman Punch sets up the spear to give Reigns the pin at 15:00.

Rating: C. I really didn’t like this as much as I should have as the amount of the same moves over and over really dragged it down for me. Reigns really needs to mix up his offense a bit with stuff like that t-bone suplex being a good place to start. He badly needs some transitional moves like that to set up the big power finishers and they shouldn’t be hard to find. One good thing here: the false finish on the powerbomb was really, really good.

Post match Bray grabs Harper’s head and says follow the buzzards.

Becky Lynch vs. Tamina

Tamina easily shoves Becky down to start and catches her in something like a swinging Rock Bottom for two. We’re in an early chinlock as the announcers ramble about how awesome this revolution is. Becky fights up and springboards into a kick to the chest, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Tamina tries another slam, only to have Becky roll through into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 4:02.

Rating: D. Just….no on this one. I’m going to spare you another rant on how much of a waste of time it is to have the Divas wrestle random matches while Nikki does her serious face and talks about how strong she’s made this division while the announcers yap about how great this new era is. Tamina continues to be a waste of time in the ring and clearly her power stuff isn’t worth much. Not their best effort, but Tamina isn’t one of the best Divas.

Rusev vs. Mark Henry

Lana is on commentary. Henry comes out with the American flag and throws Rusev around to start with some powerslams for two. They head outside with Henry being sent into the post, setting up the superkick and Accolade for the submission at 2:48.

Post match Lana calls Summer in for a fight and slaps the taste out of her mouth. Now Lana wants Rusev and of course Ziggler returns to continue the feud that no one asked for in the first place. Ziggler cleans house with superkicks (just like Rusev, Rollins and Harper use) before posing with Lana. Why are they together again?

Back from a break and Ziggler says he’s back to fight Rusev.

Video on the Streak, which was broken by Brock. In case you missed that. This is the same video from last week.

Ryback vs. Miz

Non-title with Big Show on commentary to hype up Summerslam and his new direct to DVD movie. Miz rips on Big Show’s acting and promises to win the title on Sunday. Some hard chops put Miz down but he goes after the leg, albeit not the one that had the infection. Instead he rips at Ryback’s face, earning himself a gorilla press into a powerslam. Miz makes the mistake of diving at Ryback, who catches him in midair and Shell Shocks him at 2:24.

Ryback’s challenge to Big Show is declined.

It’s time for Cena and Rollins to sign the contract for Sunday. Rollins (whose NEVER SHUTS UP says “YOU CAN’T SEE KNEE” on the back), is out first to suck up to Stephanie before going after the Minnesota Twins for not being very good. He promises to be awesome on Sunday and signs his half. Seth brings up Minnesota’s own Bob Dylan and his song “The Times They Are A-Changin.”

For ten years, John Cena has been on the top, but the times are changing. Cena is a disease and Rollins goes on about how Cena won’t answer his challenge so here’s John in person to respond. Cena brings up the obvious problem with Rollins’ arguments: Yeah half of the fans are saying let’s go Cena and half of them are chanting Cena sucks, but none of them are saying a word about Rollins. He calls Seth out for being a Cena ripoff who has all the talent in the world with HHH choosing him as proof. HHH even gave him the Pedigree to ensure that his own legacy lasts forever.

Last week Cena was stuck at home due to doctor’s orders, but he knew he’d be back. Then it hit him as clear as Rollins’ nose. Cena is a fifteen time champion and the back of his shirt says so. It didn’t occur to him that he was going to have another chance to win the title until HHH brought it up. This Sunday, Cena proves that Rollins is a footnote instead of the future. The difference between HHH and Rollins is HHH was never Ric Flair’s b#*$&. This Sunday, Cena is making Rollins his. As usual, Cena nails the hard sell like no one else can.

New Day/Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons

Oh look: another match we’ve seen before. Titus throws Diego around to start but Woods and Torito get in a fight for a distraction, allowing Kalisto to hurricanrana Diego for the pin at 2:10.

Ziggler vs. Rusev is official for Sunday.

Recap of last week with Stephen Amell and Stardust, leading to their tag match on Sunday.

Stardust and Barrett give us a public service announcement about destroying Amell and Neville this Sunday. Barrett is given some new armor and proclaims himself the Cosmic King.

Nikki Bella vs. Sasha Banks

Non-title because it’s still August. Nikki shoves her away for some jumping jacks before Sasha does the same. Byron brings up holding the gold and having the power, which immediately translates into what it means if the Bellas lose a non-title match on Sunday. We hit the chinlock on Sasha and finally hear something about Saturday’s Takeover. Sasha fights up and smashes Nikki in the face, followed by the double knees to the ribs for a nice reaction. Some pushups take us to a break.

Back with Sasha holding a chinlock until Nikki fights out (which seems like it was supposed to receive a face reaction. Seriously) and grabs an Alabama Slam for two. A loud WE WANT LESNAR chant starts up as Nikki powers up into an electric chair. The Rack Attack is loaded up but a Naomi distraction lets Banks roll through into the Bank Statement for the tap out at 10:41.

Rating: C-. Sasha winning is a good idea and the countdown to the title actually being defended should start next week. Nikki gets the record in four weeks so things can actually go somewhere for a change. Unfortunately I think they’ll give the Bellas the win on Sunday to affirm their dominance, because the big belt isn’t enough proof.

Another video of the Streak being broken.

Here’s Heyman to introduce Lesnar, whose music starts at 11:01. Confetti falls and Brock gets the hero’s welcome he rarely receives. Heyman sings: “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the conqueror, my lord.” After his third chorus of GLORY GLORY BROCK LESNAR, the gong strikes. The lights come back up and there’s…..no Undertaker.

Heyman asks if Jedi mind tricks are the best Undertaker has. This Sunday, Brock will take God, the devil and the Undertaker to Suplex City. Paul goes over the Battleground story again but asks why Undertaker had to kick Brock low. Undertaker did it because he knew he couldn’t beat Brock, just like he never has before.

You can put Undertaker in the ring with anyone and Undertaker will have a tombstone waiting for them. However, Undertaker is in the ring with a Beast instead of a man. Heyman rants about Brock not respecting anything Undertaker has done and there go the lights again. This time it’s Undertaker in the ring and he kicks Brock low again. A chokeslam plants Brock and a tombstone does the same (with Brock’s head a good six inches above the mat. Thanks editing team) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a weird one to grade. They did a good but not great job of setting up the main events on Sunday, but there was more they could have done. That’s the important term: there was more. The problem is so many of these ideas (throw tag teams together, contract signings, showdowns etc) have been played out for years but it’s all we get.

What really suffers here, as it has for a long time, is the midcard. So many of the feuds range from bad to just lukewarm and that’s not a good way to go into a huge show like this. The wrestling was good enough tonight and I want to see Summerslam, but this didn’t push me over the top like it should have.

Results

Randy Orton/Cesaro b. Sheamus/Kevin Owens – RKO to Sheamus

Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper – Spear

Becky Lynch b. Tamina – Disarm-Her

Rusev b. Mark Henry – Accolade

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players b. Los Matadores/New Day – Hurricanrana to Diego

Sasha Banks b. Nikki Bella – Bank Statement

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