Monday Night Raw – August 24, 2015: Feel The Heat. I’m Sure It’s There Somewhere.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 24, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Summerslam has come and gone and we have two main event fallout stories to deal with. Jon Stewart, the host of Summerslam, cost John Cena the US Title by interfering to help Seth Rollins last night. In addition, Brock Lesnar made Undertaker tap out but the referee didn’t see it, allowing Undertaker to hit Brock low and make him pass out in the Hell’s Gate, likely setting the stage for a third match between the two. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, HHH praised Seth Rollins for making Summerslam live up to its hype last night. Rollins, holding both titles, is officially the man in WWE and it’s time for him to take his place among the legends of this industry with a statue.

Opening sequence.

We open with Heyman and a ticked off Lesnar. Heyman gets right to it and says Brock isn’t happy. How did we go from Brock being the first man to make Undertaker tap out to the history books showing Undertaker won the match? Last night the Undertaker went to Suplex City and was then locked in a Kimura and Undertaker tapped out, which we see clear video of him doing. Heyman is a father and knows what it’s like to have to break your kid’s heart by telling him fairy tales aren’t real.

After explaining what it means to tap, Heyman says Brock doesn’t blame the referee or timekeeper. The fans boo the timekeeper so Heyman takes a jab at them for booing compassion. Undertaker collapsed on the way to the back again but we don’t need to talk about that just yet. Imagine last night when someone had to pull Brock off of Undertaker to save him from a beating. Once Undertaker knew he had a reprieve, he went low on Brock and made him pass out in Hell’s Gate.

It was Undertaker’s last bullet as the gunslinger, but it turns out that Undertaker can’t shoot with Brock. Lesnar wants Undertaker one more time, but not at Wrestlemania, Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble. Brock wants Undertaker right here TONIGHT. Instead he gets Bo Dallas. Even Heyman looks stunned by this one.

Dallas says Brock passed out last night but at least he probably had a sweet dream of beating Undertaker. Those dreams can come true if he just BOLIEVES! It’s Suplex City time and Brock eventually leaves, only to go back for one more German. He leaves again but Heyman wants one more. Dallas is out cold so Lesnar makes it easy on him with an F5.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Non-title and the Prime Time Players are on commentary. Big E. introduces Woods as the feature presentation so here’s Xavier playing a trombone. E. sings a modified version of New York, New York about how awesome they are as champions. Just when you think these guys are running out of ideas they have the singing gimmick to fall back on. As usual, these three are hilarious together. Kofi and Cara get things going before it’s quickly off to Kalisto who flips Kingston to the floor. Big E. gets kicked out to the floor but is able to catch a diving Kalisto in midair. Cara adds a dive and we take an early break.

Back with New Day in control and Woods playing the trombone. Cara backflips over E. into the tag to Kalisto as things speed up. A sunset bomb gets two on Kofi as everything breaks down. E. pulls Cara to the floor and the distraction lets Kofi grab Kalisto in a reverse suplex. Woods plays some Taps as the Midnight Hour puts Kalisto away at 6:19. Too much was in the break to rate it but the match was great fun.

Post match New Day celebrates but the DUDLEY BOYS return and clean house. Woods gets What’s Up and the place is just coming unglued. Bubba isn’t done yet because it’s table time. Kofi and Big E. are nowhere to be found and the 3D puts Woods through the table. The Dudleys aren’t done yet as they go outside to yell at the Prime Time Players a bit before posing on the ropes and soaking in the thunderous cheers.

Stills of Jon Stewart costing John Cena the US Title.

Video on John Cena granting his 500^th Make-A-Wish, the most of anyone in history. Like him or not, these things are just cool.

The Authority is looking at Rollins’ statue when Rollins comes in to brag about receiving one.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

Rematch from last night. Dean takes everyone out to start but eats a suicide dive from Harper. Reigns comes over to help and it’s an apron boot to Harper to take us to a commercial. Note that we saw Dean and the Wyatts’ entrance plus less than two minutes of action between breaks. Back with Bray clotheslining Dean for two before it’s off to Harper for a catapult into the middle rope.

Bray gets two more off a DDT and plants Dean with a gutbuster before it’s off to Harper, who eats a tornado DDT. A double tag brings in Reigns and Wyatt with Roman cleaning house with some nice throws followed by a corner clothesline. See how much better it is when you mix stuff up instead of just doing the same clotheslines over and over? Everything breaks down and Dean sends Bray to the floor for a suicide dive.

Roman does something like a Jackhammer on Wyatt but Harper comes in with superkicks (JBL: “Superkick party!”). Sister Abigail is broken up and Reigns nails a Superman Punch. Ambrose dives on Harper and we’ve got…..a third Wyatt. This guy is massive, even bigger than Reigns, and wearing a black sheep mask. Roman tries the Superman Punch, only to get pulled out of the air for the DQ at 10:39.

Rating: C+. Fun brawl here but obviously this was just about introducing the new monster. Adding in someone new is a good idea as the Wyatts work best when Bray has a few minions to throw at people, meaning he gets to stay safe instead of taking falls all the time. Good match here but it didn’t have time to go anywhere like last night.

The guy beats Ambrose down and chokes Reigns out as the fans ask WHO ARE YOU. Ambrose comes back with a kick to the head for no effect and the monster chokes him out as well. Bray poses next to him as we take a break. Apparently the new guy is a former strongman competitor who wrestled in NXT under the name Braun Stowman.

It’s time for MizTV with Team PCB as guests. Charlotte says her dad was part of the greatest faction in WWE history. No not Evolution, which is really the only faction he was ever part of in WWE, but the Horsemen. To be fair, WWE is convinced they are wrestling at this point so it’s close enough in their eyes. Miz brags about himself but Paige says they’re not into him. The trio says they’ll fight any woman, man, dinosaur or cyborg.

Paige talks about being all dominant so here’s Team Bella. Nikki makes a Donald Trump joke and Brie says they empower women all over the world. Fox and Becky yell at each other a bit over how long Alicia has been around. Nikki: “Wins and losses, who cares?” Miz says cool it and says he sees a bunch of women who fight like girls. PCB gets in his face but Team Bella jumps them from behind and knocks PCB to the floor.

Team Bella vs. Team PCB

This is joined in progress in case you haven’t seen it enough yet. Becky drops a leg on Brie before it’s off to Charlotte for the Charlotte’s Web on Nikki for two. PCB starts taking turns on the champ and Becky gets two off a backslide. The Bellas take over for a bit before Becky and Charlotte clean house with dropkicks to send them out to the floor. Charlotte dives on all three and we take a break.

Back with Charlotte in trouble and Nikki throwing her out to the floor. Nikki sends the leg into the post and everyone starts working on Charlotte’s leg. The fans are doing the wave as Paige gets the hot tag. Fox takes her down as well and now it’s a WE ARE AWESOME chant. Everything breaks down and Nikki hits Paige with the big forearm, followed by the ax kick from Fox for the pin at 14:30.

Rating: D. I’m done with the Divas Revolution for now and they’re right back to where they were before. When the star of your division flat out says “wins and losses don’t matter”, what’s the point of watching the matches anymore? I had hope that they were going somewhere new with this division, but tonight proves that it’s just about making the Bellas look good and we’ve already spent the last year doing that with Nikki vs. Brie which wound up going nowhere. Well done WWE on screwing up something so promising again for the sake of the Bellas.

King Barrett and Stardust are here for a tag match but Stardust beats Barrett up before the match. This brings out Neville to go after Stardust as the referee gets out of the ring. Stardust rolls away before the Red Arrow can launch though.

Here’s Jon Stewart for an explanation. He understands that some people are mad at him, but some people are also happy with him. Some people had to comfort their children last night and explain who the little old man who attacked John Cena was. Well here’s why he did it: it wasn’t to help Rollins retain or to do what’s best for business. Instead, it was because he couldn’t let John Cena tie Ric Flair’s record because the champ is Flair.

This brings out Flair himself and Stewart loses his mind. Flair says he appreciated Stewart’s sentiments last night but he was pulling for Cena. The record is going to fall someday and Flair would like it to fall to someone he respects. Ric says Stewart messed up everything but here’s Cena to freak Stewart out in a completely different way. Cena says he’s at peace for what happened last night, but Stewart kept the title on Rollins as a result, in addition to making him the US Champion.

That was the title that Cena used to give everyone an opportunity, from names like Cesaro to Kevin Owens to Sami Zayn. Stewart freaks out and tries to backpedal but Cena says the titles are in the hands of the Authority. This is a chance for Cena to win the titles back and there’s an AA to Stewart. Flair just stands there as all this happens and then leaves.

Post break Cena says he was doing what he thought was right. Later tonight, he’ll have another talk with Seth Rollins.

Dolph Ziggler/Randy Orton/Ryback/Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens/Big Show/Rusev/Sheamus

Ziggler is now in tights. Ryback and Rusev get things going before it’s off to Cesaro for a headlock. Ziggler gets the tag and tries a superkick but Rusev bails to the floor. It’s about to explode on the floor as we take a break. Back with Show telling Ziggler to bring it on before chopping him down. Show: “I’M A GIANT!” It’s off to Owens to wake the fans up a bit but that ends when Sheamus gets the tag for a release suplex.

Sheamus puts Ziggler in the Brock Lock, followed by an Irish Curse for no cover. Back from another break with Ziggler DDTing Big Show but Rusev breaks up the hot tag attempt. Summer slaps Dolph so Lana tackles her down and the distraction lets Ziggler scores with the Fameasser. Ziggler finally dives over for the tag to Cesaro, who uppercuts the heck out of Owens.

Rusev comes in and takes the Swing, leaving Ryback and Owens to slug it out. The Cannonball is broken up by a spinebuster and there’s the Meathook. Kevin breaks up the Shell Shock though and a double clothesline drops both of them. It’s Orton coming in off the hot tag and cleaning house, but Show makes his job easier by KO Punching Sheamus by mistake, setting up the RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: C+. So I’m guessing this means it’s time to make Show face again because we haven’t done something with him in long enough. I mean, it’s not like you can have him take the fall here. Why do that when you have Sheamus to do it for him? The match was much more long than good, which is all you can expect here.

Owens and Rusev beat Show down post match before walking out. The winners come in with Ziggler superkicking Show, followed by Cesaro and Ryback lifting Show up for an RKO. For once the camera team made sure to hide the fact that it barely connected.

We look at Lesnar vs. Undertaker from last night.

Recap of the new Wyatt Family member.

Bray says he tried to warn Roman. As long as there is breath in Reigns’ body, Bray will be there to stop him. Look at Reigns’ so called brother. Roman pulled him into this war and now Dean is just a pawn. Last night was Roman’s moment of glory but now it’s over. Tonight you witnessed her greatest gift. Bray introduces us to Braun Stowman, Abigail’s black sheep.

The Authority stops Cena in the back and has security escort him out of the arena.

It’s time for the Rollins statue unveiling, but the statue is under a curtain, despite us seeing it earlier in the night. First up though, Stephanie leads us in singing Happy Birthday to her dad, who turns 70 today. HHH talks about what you want in a man to immortalize in bronze. The three qualities you would want in such a man are hustle, loyalty and respect. There’s only one man in this company who deserves that, so here’s Seth Rollins. The champ brags about how amazing this is because so few people receive this honor.

Last night he won this match and became a legend. Rollins goes on for a LONG time about how awesome he is and promises to retain the title at Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania. They finally pull the curtain and instead of a statue, it’s Sting. Why his facepaint is already chipped off isn’t clear but maybe it melted off while he was waiting so long for Rollins to finish talking. Sting cleans house and holds up the title as Rollins panics to end the show. Why? It’s an old guy who has never won a match in this company.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was rolling along after the first hour and then the Divas killed it deader than dead. That segment and match were so bad and just destroyed everything the show had built up in the first hour. Other than that, the show was watchable enough but the Cena segment really didn’t do it any favors. As usual I’m more interested in NXT this week, but you knew WWE was going to do something to screw up what they had going for it.

Results

New Day b. Lucha Dragons – Midnight Hour to Kalisto

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt via DQ when an unknown man interfered

Team Bella b. Team PCB – Ax kick to Paige

Randy Orton/Cesaro/Ryback/Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus/Big Show/Rusev/Kevin Owens – RKO to Sheamus

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