Monday Night Raw – September 7, 2015: They Certainly Got The Labor Part Right

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.

Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.

Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.

Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.

Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.

Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.

Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.

That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.

Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.

We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.

Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.

Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.

There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.

Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.

Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.

Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!

Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.

Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.

This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.

Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.

Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.

Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz

Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.

Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.

Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?

Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.

John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins

A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.

Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.

Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.

This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor

Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando

Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout

John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston

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