Hell in a Cell 2015 Preview

What am I supposed to say about this show? It’s been one of the least interesting builds to a pay per view that I’ve seen in years and I haven’t seen many people who think otherwise. The matches are ranging from “we don’t need to build this” to “they’ve been feuding for a long time so let’s just have them feud more” to “it’s a pay per view with a major main event so let’s burn this off here.” Maybe I’ll find something to get excited about but I’m not there yet. Let’s get to it.

The pre-show match is a replacement due to Orton being injured again, though to be fair it’s been a pretty long time since his shoulders acted up. Instead of the match that’s only been kind of built up, we’re getting a rematch from a match that wasn’t great in the first place but it’s a way to let the writers do the same idea twice in a week so they don’t have to think of anything new.

The new match is Cesaro/Neville/Ziggler vs. Sheamus/Rusev/King Barrett in a match that changed on Thursday after the debut of Tyler Breeze. I know the most common (not common sense that is) booking would be to have the good guys get their win back here and set up the fabled rubber match on Raw, but I’m thinking instead they go with the heels winning here as Ziggler already has business with someone else. Maybe Breeze even interferes like he should in a well booked promotion. Either way, heels win for my pick that has little chance of being right.

We’ll start the actual show with the most obvious ending: Kevin Owens retains over Ryback. This was more interesting before Ryback got pinned clean in four minutes on Monday but since the writers think they have about fifteen male wrestlers, we had to sacrifice the Intercontinental Title match to help rebuild the World Champion. This wouldn’t be a problem but Rollins has been destroyed in recent weeks and needed the help. This was because

1. The writers don’t know how to book a heel champion.

2. How else was Kane going to look strong because Big Show had recently squashed every normal piece of cannon fodder to set up a house show match no one believed he had a prayer of winning?

So yeah Owens retains and there’s no real reason to believe otherwise.

New Day retains over the Dudleyz in another rematch (that’s three in a row for those of you counting). If they didn’t change the titles in New York, there’s no real reason to change them anywhere else. I’m hoping this is the end of the feud and that they don’t try to stretch it all the way out to a tables match somewhere. New Day can entertain against anyone and the Dudleyz can put over team after team without losing their credibility. There’s no need to continue the feud so hopefully they wrap it up here.

Now we have a match that could go either way with the Divas Title match (rematch #4). Nikki was never really broken down after losing the title because holding the record seems far more important to her than actually being the champion. Charlotte on the other hand has had trouble beating Brie Bella, even losing to her in a tag match recently. Either way it seems that the winner will just be keeping the title warm for Sasha Banks, so the question comes down to does WWE want Nikki to bore us to death against Banks or do they want a rematch of the Charlotte vs. Sasha classic? All hail the new champ.

Next up is the US Title Open Challenge, which may or may not be a rematch. Cena is pretty clearly losing here so the question is who gets the belt. There are multiple options in this case, ranging from the newly debuted Tyler Breeze to perhaps a newcomer debuting to the now free Dean Ambrose. While I think they’ll go with Ambrose, that leaves the issue of how does Ambrose put Cena on the shelf for a few months? I can’t imagine Cena is just going to lose and say “see you in two months” so he needs someone to injure him.

Unfortunately, I think that leads us to Big Show. He’s still fresh (as fresh as you can be nearly seventeen years after debuting) off the Lesnar feud and WWE is the kind of company that would rather make him a transitional champion, believing that he gets the win over Cena and whoever beats him inherits the momentum, even though that doesn’t work because it’s freaking Big Show. That’s my pick, though it’s probably going to be Ambrose.

That leaves us with the three main events and we’ll start with the least important: the WWE World Heavyweight Championship (rematch #5). The idea here is that Kane has multiple personalities and if his Demon side can’t beat Seth Rollins for the title, his Corporate side loses his job as head lackey to the Authority. At the same time though, Rollins continues his eternal quest to impress the Authority because this show exists to make them look important. Oh and of course Kane pinned the champ on Raw to make us believe that they might put the title on the 48 year old who hasn’t been interesting in years.

Of course Rollins retains as that old “who cares if he loses all the time if he still has the belt” mindset shines through again. I know we’re still setting up Rollins vs. HHH (which has been coming for months now) but could they try to give us something good along the way? This is the match that they spent months setting up in the summer and we’re finally getting it here because the REAL main event is carrying the show, meaning there’s no need to put in effort on this match because we’re lucky that way.

I don’t think they want to get rid of Sheamus’ briefcase yet (oh lucky us) so Rollins retains, though I’m sure there’s going to be some wacky shenanigans that mean Kane gets to keep his job (probably after a thorough performance evaluation or whatever they call it this time). It’s probably a DQ or a countout because that way Kane wins the match and we can ignore the whole “if Kane doesn’t win the title he’s fired” stipulation because of whatever reason the Authority has this time. Rollins retains but doesn’t win, meaning we get a rematch at Survivor Series and probably TLC because we’re just that lucky.

Then we have the match with the biggest build as Bray Wyatt and Roman Reigns get inside the Cell for rematch #6. This is another bad feud as they started fighting back in June and are still after each other today. Bray won at Battleground with Harper’s help and they’ve traded tag wins ever since. Therefore, it’s clear that it’s time to go inside the Cell. I mean, a regular cage or something else is out of the question because it’s October so what else can they really do? This should be a fun brawl but we’ll be waiting around for the interference that everyone knows is coming.

I think I’ll go with Roman here, though Bray needs the win a lot more than he does. Neither guy has done anything significant since Wrestlemania but at least Reigns was a big deal at the beginning of the year. Wyatt has his full minions (well once Harper is back from his “personal issues”, which I assure you have nothing to do with that photo that I’m sure you’ve all seen.) now and is probably going to lose anyway, which will (or at least should) set up a Survivor Series elimination match so they can continue the feud past the advertised ending. Like they almost always do.

Speaking of the end, we have what is billed as the final showdown between Lesnar and Undertaker and I can’t be more thankful. Oh and rematch #7 to complete the field of matches that we actually know about. The match at Summerslam was fun but it’s the same story as the Wrestlemania match with Lesnar vs. HHH: yeah it was good but I don’t need to see them again this fast. It doesn’t help that neither guy seems interested in selling the match. Brock has appeared twice, Undertaker once in recent weeks. Their showdown on Monday was “yeah we’re going to fight on Sunday” and that’s about it.

I’ll take what should be the obvious winner with Lesnar, but don’t be surprised if they have some sort of wacky ending and set up one FINAL (as in final final, not prelude final) match at Wrestlemania to send Undertaker out. The drama and violence should be good but it’s a match where they’re having to drag me into it and I don’t really care what happens.

What a horrible looking show. I can’t remember the last time I was less interested in a pay per view than this as WWE hasn’t given me a single thing to get excited about. Save for the Cena match, everything is a match we’ve seen recently. That’s how you book a house show and we’re getting it as a regular pay per view. They need to figure out something new and do it in a hurry because this is one of the worst times I can remember for creative in a long time and the ratings are backing that up.

I don’t know of anyone excited for this show and it’s only going to get worse as the company throws its feet on the desk and say “eh no one is going to watch because of football anyway so we’re on vacation.” I know people aren’t going to watch but at least pretend like you care what’s going on and don’t give us a blend of the last two pay per views you put together and expect us to be entertained.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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