Impact Wrestling – October 28, 2015: Uncomfortably Numb

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re still in the early part of the World Title Series as we hit week #4. As much as I like the presentation as they treat this like a real sporting event, the lack of stories are making this hard for me to get into. There’s no reason for these people to be fighting other than they have some similar characteristics or backgrounds and they’ve been scheduled against each other. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s matches and see a preview of tonight’s matches.

The announcers do the same things the opening video did.

Ethan Carter III brags about kicking out of Lashley’s spear and promises to win the title.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start with Matt taking him into the corner for some right hands. Pope feels the need to explain why wins are important in this series and Josh talks about Robbie E. challenging Rob Gronkowski in a stupid idea that TNA never learns from. A corner clothesline puts Robbie on the floor but he comes back with a flip dive off the apron to put Matt in trouble.

Now Pope compares Robbie to Leif Cassady and Josh tries to convince me that Robbie might be World Champion, which continues to show the problem with this entire concept. Back in and the Side Effect from Matt and a middle rope clothesline from Robbie get two each but Matt picks it up with a big sitout powerbomb. The Twist of Fate is countered into the Boom Drop for a close two and that’s it for Robbie’s chance. Another Side Effect and another Twist of Fate give Matt the pin at 6:40.

Rating: C+. The match was good but totally uninteresting for a point that I’ve already beaten into the ground despite having probably another two months of qualifying matches before we get to the actual tournament. Robbie is a nice midcard guy but he’s on a long list of people who have no reason to be involved in a World Title competition.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining

Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail promises to fight Awesome Kong hard again tonight. Can they just show us the Bound For Glory match so I can save some time?

Matt says Robbie is tough and he was impressed.

Robbie says he doesn’t feel like a loser because he earned some respect.

Back to Matt when Grado comes up to ask for a picture because he’s a fan. Is this their best version of comedy these days?

Video on Drew Galloway.

Group UK: Grado vs. Drew Galloway

Speaking of wastes of time. The bell doesn’t even ring for this match and Grado starts with a schoolboy trip for two. Drew throws him to the mat and starts chopping in the corner. Grado’s comedy seems to get on Drew’s nerves so he chops away and throws Grado again with a belly to belly for two.

Drew slaps him in the face and Grado comes back with some right hands and an elbow to the head. A Rock Bottom and Cannonball in the corner (called a flippy move by Pope) have Drew in trouble. Grado puts him in the Tree of Woe but Galloway sits up and grabs a German suplex, followed by the running boot (the Claymore according to Josh) for the pin at 4:39.

Rating: D+. Fine enough for a match with the most obvious ending in the whole competition so far. It would be nice if they would just put Spud and Galloway in the next round already because there’s almost no chance of anyone else moving forward. Then again that can’t be done because they’ve taped all this in advance and that’s what we’re getting like it or not. I’m sure I’m too stupid to understand why I want to watch a bunch of average and uninteresting matches though.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of Gail Kim beating Awesome Kong at some show in the past that isn’t important enough to name.

We look back at the final destruction of the Revolution with Mahabali Shera pinning James Storm. Shera dances you know. They’re talking about it on Twitter.

Group Wild Card: Aiden O’Shea vs. Crazzy Steve

Oh come on. I know I probably complain about this Series too much but I’m supposed to want to watch this? They circle each other for about a minute to start until O’Shea slugs him down. O’Shea shoves him into the corner and takes a boxing stance as Steve is down on the mat. They head outside with Aiden punching him in the jaw but then punches the steps and post by mistake. Back in and Steve bites his hand, only to have Aiden take his head off with a clothesline for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. Well at least it was short. O’Shea is fine for a brawler and it’s a good idea to have him win here but this was such a waste of time. They couldn’t air something old and just give this a thirty second highlight package? This is the perfect example of a match that is making the Series feel like it’s taking forever to get through and a big reason why people aren’t very interested.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss says the only thing that soothes him is gold because he’s a monster. He’ll win and you can take that to the bank.

Package on Storm vs. Abyss.

More clips of an unknown Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong match.

Grado is confused after getting kicked in the head and doesn’t remember anything since the end of the match.

The announcers recap Group UK.

Group TNA Originals: Abyss vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm suggests Abyss turn around and leave so Storm can win by countout. Abyss says he’s a monster and punches Storm in the face to get things going. A chokeslam doesn’t work but Storm charges into a side slam. Back from an early break with Storm diving off the steps and having to escape a chokeslam attempt. Storm loads a chair into the corner but Abyss sends him face first into it instead.

Hebner lets it go and Abyss drops a splash for two. It’s Janice time but it gets stuck in the turnbuckle like it does every single time, setting up Closing Time and a cowbell to the head for two. Storm goes up top and counters a superplex attempt into a powerbomb, followed by a top rope elbow for another near fall. Back up and Abyss no sells the Last Call and chokeslams Storm for two. With nothing else working, Storm spits beer into Abyss’ face and hits two more Last Calls for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: C-. Way too many weapons in here and I have no idea why they would let Abyss no sell Storm’s finisher. The match wasn’t the worst in the world but more than that it was nice to see a match where I didn’t know who was going to win. That’s been the big problem with tonight’s show: I either didn’t care who won or I could figure it out as soon as the names were announced. Good enough match here, despite how ridiculous they were with the weapons here.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 match remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Shera loves the World Title Series and thinks this is a cool opportunity to his family. He respects everyone else in the group and will do his talking in the ring. The upcoming India tour is a dream come true for him and he wants to return home with the World Title.

We preview next week with Shera vs. King, Brooke vs. Rayne and an interview with Jeff Hardy. A quick preview of the interview focuses on how happy he was to see Matt as World Champion.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young next week in another match we’ve seen way too many times.

Group X-Division: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ

Tigre takes him down by the arm to start as the announcers bicker over who is supposed to call play by play. DJZ sends the champ (no belt in sight here) into the corner for a running dropkick. We hit the chinlock on Tigre for a bit until he pops up and dropkicks DJZ outside. A corkscrew plancha connects for the champ (Josh: “Carpet defense!”) and they trade hurricanranas back inside. Tigre’s split legged corkscrew moonsault misses and DJZ’s tornado DDT is good for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: C. Fun enough match and we have yet ANOTHER group where three people have won a match each. Josh suggested that this might lead to an X-Division Title match, even though Tigre isn’t going to be defending the thing until around Christmas. You would think that would mean vacating the title due to a lack of defenses but that’s not the case around here.

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Manik – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Clips from Kim vs. Kong at Bound For Glory 2015.

Group Knockouts: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong

In case you haven’t seen this one enough yet. Gail goes after the arm to start but gets sent out to the floor. Pope thinks these two are like twins. Because they know each other so well you see. A big clothesline sends Gail outside again and we take a break. Back with Gail fighting out of a camel clutch and scoring with a jawbreaker before kicking away at the legs.

Gail tries a Black Widow but opts to dropkick Kong to the floor and dive off the apron with a flying forearm. Back in and Gail’s cross body is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for two we as have under five minutes to go (meaning their clock is way off this week). The chokeslam is countered into a DDT and a high cross body gets two for Gail. Kong loads up a powerbomb but gets caught in a hurricanrana to give Kim the pin at 13:58.

Rating: C. Well they certainly had another match. This is considered one of the greatest rivalries in TNA history and it’s really just ok. Yeah they had some awesome matches about nine years ago but I haven’t seen them do anything above average in years now. This was a decent enough match but nothing that makes me want to see them fight again.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Overall Rating: D. The show is over and I’m totally numb. I don’t have any feelings about it and I really didn’t for the two hours the show was on the air. The wrestling was adequate for the most part and there were times where I didn’t know who was going to win, but I didn’t care. These shows (and we’re just getting started with them) are offering no reason for me to care and it’s getting worse every week. It’s really hard to drive a show on pure wrestling and this is the proof of why.

For two hours tonight, I sat here listening to Josh and Pope do the same analysis of what it means for someone to be two matches in with no points or how confident they must be to have six points and only one match to go. The groups are the exact same idea with different names included and if you’ve watched TNA for more than five minutes you can pretty much pick the field of sixteen from here. I’m sure the TNA super fans will have some excuse for why the show bombed like the World Series, the Republican debate etc., because there’s ALWAYS something else on that interferes with TNA.

Maybe next week we can cancel all other TV and air Impact on every channel. Then people can be collectively bored by this concept with no individual stories and no real reason to watch until around Christmas because this company spent years putting on boring TV and keep getting canceled but we’re supposed to treat them like some kind of plucky victim that never did anything wrong. This is boring television and the audience tuning out is proving it, no matter what excuses TNA’s diehard fans have.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Robbie E. – Twist of Fate

Drew Galloway b. Grado – Claymore

Aiden O’Shea b. Crazzy Steve – Clothesline

James Storm b. Abyss – Last Call

DJZ b. Tigre Uno – Tornado DDT

Gail Kim b. Awesome Kong – Hurricanrana

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