Lucha Underground – May 18, 2016: This Show Sucked
Lucha Underground
Date: May 18, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
As is usually the case, it’s hard to say what to expect on these shows. The three title pictures continue to be a story but the bigger deal seems to be everything going on behind the scenes with Councilman Delgado trying to take down Dario for his master, whatever that may entail. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap focuses on the Gift of the Gods Title and Matanza destroying Pentagon Jr.
Dario Cueto is putting cash in a bag when Cage comes in, demanding to get his hands on Chavo after having his Gift of the Golds medallion stolen. Dario says join him in the ring.
It’s time for the Gift of the Gods presentation with Cage following Dario out. Dario explains the concept and says there will be a seven way match tonight. The winners of the medallions are called out so here are Texano, Joey Ryan (Theory that unfortunately I can’t take credit for: Castro let Joey pin him because they’re secretly working together as undercover cops. I’ve heard far worse ideas.), Sinestro de la Muerte (with Dario not being able to remember which Disciple he is), Aerostar, the Mack, Sexy Star and Chavo Guerrero Jr., who didn’t actually win but that doesn’t seem to matter.
Everyone else clears out so Cage can stomp Chavo down in the corner and take the medallion back. Well in theory at least because it’s just a big washer, allowing Chavo to blast Cage with a chair. Chavo puts the real medallion in the belt and that somehow count in Dario’s eyes. Cage gives Chavo Weapon X to blow off some steam.
Daga vs. Argenis vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Kobra Moon
One fall to a finish. Famous B. takes over for Sagrada’s introduction. It’s a big brawl to start with Sagrada headscissoring Daga down to start. Moon forearms Sagrada down though and gets two off a Michinoku Driver. Argenis and Daga come back in with Argenis superkicking the unmasked one down. That goes nowhere as Argenis is sent to the floor for a dive from Daga. Back inside and Sagrada rolls up Moon for two, followed by a cross armbreaker on Argenis. That’s quite the odd visual.
Daga dives in to break up a powerbomb on Sagrada before setting up the overly contrived spot of the match with a Gory Special on Moon and a reverse Boston crab on Argenis at the same time. Sagrada comes in for the save but Argenis slaps Sagrada in the mask to break up a sunset flip on Moon. Back up and Moon runs Sagrada over, followed by a White Noise into a piledriver for no cover. Instead she stands back, allowing Daga to get the pin at 5:03.
Rating: D+. Uh….ok then. I still don’t buy into Kobra and Daga is only so much of a star. I’m really not sure what the point of this match was but an alliance between Moon and Daga isn’t going to be anything interesting either. This is a really weird match and I wasn’t feeling it at all really.
Killshot is putting his gear on when Marty the Moth comes up to see him and offers a salute. They’ll be facing off tonight so Marty puts a finger guns to Killshot’s head. This earns him a quick flip over to the floor where Marty laughs like a crazy man.
Marty Martinez vs. Killshot
Marty makes sure to perv on Melissa Santos during the entrances. They stare each other down and Marty does the finger gun again, prompting a Major Gunns reference of all things. Marty sends him into the corner and then over the top, only to have Killshot land on his feet. Back in and Killshot sends him to the floor for a change but a flip dive is caught on Marty’s shoulder, which really isn’t the kind of power you would expect from him. Marty slowly beats Killshot down inside and does the finger gun again, only to tick Killshot off this time. Well again, but this time Killshot smacks him in the face to take over.
Killshot BLASTS him in the head again for two, followed by a third shot to the head. Marty pops up and knocks Killshot off the top though, only to have Killshot block a German suplex off the apron. Instead it’s Marty eating a Death Valley Driver on the apron to put both guys on the floor because that’s how wrestling moves work. Both guys beat the count at nine so Marty takes his head off with a clothesline for two. Marty’s dive in the corner gets caught though and it’s a forward driver (think Kenny Omega’s One Winged Angel but out of a waistlock instead of an electric chair) to give Killshot the pin at 7:15.
Rating: C+. This was better than the first match but it’s still only so good. Killshot is starting to get somewhere with the military character but it would be nice to have something other than “Yeah he was in the military.” Marty is PERFECT as the creepy guy though and it’s mainly due to all the little parts that he adds to everything. It’s better than the first match but still really nothing I’m going to remember in five minutes.
Marty destroys him post match and steals the dog tags.
Gift of the Gods Title: Sinestro de la Muerte vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Joey Ryan vs. Sexy Star vs. The Mack vs. Texano vs. Aerostar
One fall to a finish and the title is vacant coming in. Chavo bails to the floor to start and it’s time for everyone to hit one spot and then run to the floor. The match settles down to Joey vs. Star with the former not that upset with having to wrestle a scantily clad woman. Chavo tries to steal a rollup on Star but Mack comes in to clean house, leaving him in a staredown with his friend Sexy.
Texano pulls Star out to the floor before taking her place against Mack. A powerbomb plants Mack but it’s Aerostar diving in for the save. A springboard tornado DDT gives Aerostar two on Texano, only to have Sinestro come in for his quick section. It’s time for the big dives with Star pulling Joey off the top and taking everyone out at the same time. Back in and a Backstabber gives Sinestro two on Ryan before Mack throws Muerte outside.
Mack and Star take turns chopping Ryan before a double legdrop crushes Joey again. Chavo runs back in and frog splashes Ryan for two with Mack diving in for the save. That’s not cool though and everyone goes after Chavo for a parade of finishers (save for Ryan but including Sinestro, who shouldn’t be up for this kind of thing). However, cue Cage to destroy everyone not named Chavo before putting Guerrero on top of Joey for the pin and the title at 8:33.
Rating: C. This was a lot of waiting around until we got to the big Cage deal at the end, which makes sense and keeps Cage looking strong before his eventual match with Chavo for the title, which he certainly has a claim to. Other than that though there was almost nothing going on here but that’s what you have to expect with a six minute match with seven people in there at once.
Post match Cage goes with the obvious reveal: he gets a title shot at Chavo next week.
Vampiro tells Pentagon that he must be broken again, just like the monster broke him already. Pentagon is suspended in some weird S&M style looking harness while Vampiro beats on him with a stick. Vampiro talks about all the evil inside of him and how the pills can’t hold him back. This is nothing compared to what Matanza did to Pentagon and it’s nothing compared to what he’s about to do to Pentagon either. It’s time for a barbed wire baseball bat to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This one really missed for me as there wasn’t much for anything to be seen here. The opening match went nowhere, the second match was fine and could set something up, but the third match was all there to set up something else later on. Now all that being said, the stuff at the end was interesting with Pentagon looking like he’s coming back as the ultimate Matanza slayer full of Vampiro’s evil. This show was a bunch of standing around waiting but that’s not really enough to carry this week.
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Yeah this was the weakest show in awhile but it serves it’s purpose. The Gift of the Gods should be a much better match for how big a deal it can be and how good the medallion matches end up being. I feel like it would be better suited as a spot fest ladder match.
Also clearly Pentagon and Matanza are going to have a huge title match possibly at Ultima Lucha( it’s supposed to be in the summer right?). But it should be applauded that LU takes their time with major character development and takes their time building up a guy before they build up the feud.
But you have like 15-20 major players in this promotion and it sucks when you throw out the lower tier of those folks in a sloppy multi man match that sets up a match featuring Chavo Guerrero in 2016.