Ring of Honor Global Wars 2016: Japanese Cannon Fodder
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Wars 2016
Date: May 8, 2016
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Mr. Wrestling 3
Opening sequence.
We run down the card in case you bought the show on a whim.
ACH vs. Dalton Castle vs. Roderick Strong vs. Adam Page
Strong is livid about the loss.
Cheeseburger/Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Addiction
Post match the Addiction knocks Liger to the floor and hits the Best Meltzer Ever (moonsault into a spike Tombstone) on Cheeseburger.
Tag Team Titles: War Machine vs. Briscoe Brothers
Naito climbs the ropes for a tornado DDT followed by a neckbreaker off the ropes for two. They kick each other in the head until Kyle hits a rebound lariat to put both of them down again. A Regalplex gets two on Naito and a knee to the head makes it even worse. Not that it matters as he does a weird backflip into a reverse DDT (Destino) for the pin at 12:03.
Naito lays him out and throws the belt down post match.
Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin vs. Kazuchika Okada/Moose
TV Title: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Bobby Fish
Fish makes the mistake of headbutting Ishii and the referee has to check on him as a result. The champ gets knocked off the top but Fish misses a flying headbutt, only to start back in with kicks to the knee. Fish hits an exploder suplex for two but getting headbutted for his efforts. Ishii gets his own near fall with a delayed vertical superplex, followed by a Saito Suplex.
They head to the apron with Fish back on his feet and slugging it out. As expected, Ishii easily knocks him down but Fish kicks the leg out to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and a hard lariat gets two for the champ but Fish goes back to the sleeper. He fires off some elbows to the head and survives a flip attempt to actually knock Ishii out at 15:30.
Kushida/Matt Sydal/Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club
Skull and Bones (top rope splash/neckbreaker combo) gets two more before Nick comes in and does SUCK IT over and over because popping the crowd is far more important than having a good or logical match. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up and a quick Meltzer Driver puts Shelley away at 13:04. Wrestling 3: “I JUST WASTED SIX GRAND!!!”
Wrestling 3 is distraught and it gets even worse when BJ Whitmer comes out in a Masked Superstar mask. Whitmer has a flash drive with something Wrestling 3 will want to see.
Nigel McGuinness joins commentary.
ROH World Title: Colt Cabana vs. Jay Lethal
Security eats superkicks and the counter goes back up but they only count double kicks as one. I DEMAND A REFUND! The Guerillas come out and the beating continues with Loa spray painting BC on a table and a security guard being powerbombed through it. More spray paint continues with the announcers getting kicks of their own.
There were eight total matches on this show with Ring of Honor wrestlers winning in five of them. Of those five wins, there were two tag matches with a New Japan partner and two matches with no New Japan stars involved. Counting the no contest, New Japan went 4-1 along with destroying the World Champion and the #1 contender to close the show.
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