Anarchy Rulz 2000 (2014 Redo): He’s Not Rob Van Dam

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Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Joey and Joel are in the ring to open things up and Joel gets through his rhyme (sans swearing for once, this time about being with women of all races and thankfully not having 27 children) before throwing us to the opening video. More from them later.

Joey Matthews/Christian York vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

York counters a slingshot into the corner into a bouncing legdrop, only to have Roadkill pop up and slam both guys down. Matthews and York stay on the monster but Doring gets a hot tag and helps Roadkill with a Hart Attack to Joey. Doring is sent over the top rope and comes down on his arm, followed by double suicide dives from the young guys. Back inside and a double powerbomb drops Doring, but Matthews and York turn around into the springboard clothesline from Roadkill.

Roadkill and Doring help up Matthews and York in a nice display of sportsmanship. Simon and Swinger come in and clean house with chairs before leaving Doring laying. That sounds like a decent feud but they need to have something to fight over.

Joel Gertner vs. EZ Money

Kid Kash vs. EZ Money

If Kash wins, Joel gets to fight Cyrus. Money jumps Kash before the bell but Kash comes back with some fast armdrags to send Money out to the floor. Hamrick and Dinero get nailed as well but the distraction lets Money sneak in from behind. Money picks up Kash for a suplex but lets him fall backwards and crash down to the mat for two. A charge goes badly for Money as he falls onto his partners, setting up huge springboard flip dive from Kash to take out everyone.

Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus

Joel jumps him to start before taking off his shirt to reveal Kamala (old Ugandan savage) chest paint. Cyrus trips him up and chops in the corner but Sandman spits beer in his face, allowing Gertner to get a rollup for the fluke pin. This was harmless fun.

Kash, Sandman, Gertner and Spike drink beer.

Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy

Lou E. Dangerously lays out Gertner with his phone. Joey goes after him and we cut to interviews.

Cyrus replaces Joel on commentary.

C.W. Anderson vs. Steve Corino

Chairs are brought in and Corino gets in a quick shot to the head to take over. C.W. is busted open and a kick to the face makes things worse. We hear about a recent match where Corino almost beat Justin for the World Title which is one of the few reasons why Corino is in this spot despite his win/loss record. Anderson nails Corino with the chair to take over and bust Steve open. Anderson wedges a chair in the corner and sends Corino arm first into the steel to give him a target.

The Sinister Minister is with the Unholy Alliance and their book on witchcraft sets itself on fire.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance

The Whippersnapper gets two as Big Sal pulls the referee to the floor. The Minister tries to go after Sal and gets crushed against the barricade. Guido sends Mikey outside and Sal throws in a belt, only to have Tajiri take it away and pelt it at Sal. An Asai Moonsault puts Sal down again but Guido nails Mikey with a title belt, setting up a kind of double powerbomb for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. The match was so much better because it actually meant something. Just having the title back is a great feeling and now all those other matches could build up to another title match. I have no idea why Heyman waited so long to bring the belts back but it came at a good time with the tag division being deeper than it has been in years.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob checks on Alfonso after the match and realizes how bad he might be hurt.

We look at a lot of replays and Joey claims a fast count. That may be the case, but ECW referees always counted their pins faster than the average referee.

The announcers hype up the main event to kill more time.

ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible

Justin is defending and comes out in a Bret Favre Green Bay Packers jersey (big rival to the Minnesota Vikings) for the easy heat. Francine has taped up ribs. Lynn is the hometown boy and gets the reaction to go with it. They start slow and head to the mat where an armdrag frustrates Justin out to the floor for an argument with a fan. Back in and they trade chops with Lynn getting the better of it. Neither guy can hit their finisher so Jerry settles for a middle rope bulldog and a headlock.

Lynn grabs a DDT to plant Justin on the chair for a delayed two. Credible comes back with a front facelock as the fans get on his nerves. He stops and grabs a mic to talk trash about Lynn and Minneapolis, causing the fans to throw in a bunch of beer cups. Back to the front facelock after that minute and a half were wasted. They trade near falls for two each until Justin hits that running release DDT to take over.

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