Monday Night Raw – October 24, 2016: Who Needs Sunday and a Cell?

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 24, 2016
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

The Beast is back tonight as Brock Lesnar is here for his first comments about his upcoming match with Goldberg. In addition to that we have two big matches including Sheamus and Cesaro vs. New Day in a non-title match and Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens in a triple threat. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Jericho to open things up with some terrible news: tonight’s triple threat match has been canceled until further notice. The fans aren’t happy with that one but Jericho says it’s because SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE LIST OF JERICHO. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Jericho isn’t leaving until the List is returned but here’s Owens to interrupt. Owens doesn’t care who has the List but he’ll help Jericho find it once they get rid of Rollins.

Jericho says there’s no triple threat match tonight but here’s Stephanie McMahon to interrupt. She explains the idea of the triple threat (because Stephanie thinks all fans are idiots) and here’s Rollins with the List. Jericho freaks out and Stephanie goes all screechy to say give it back.

Seth sees Stephanie mentioned as a stupid idiot but at the very bottom is Jericho’s former best friend, Kevin Owens. Rollins wants to start a new list about Owens, who has no idea how it is inside the Cell. He’ll also kick Owens’ teeth down his throat and break his face with a Pedigree so he can teach HHH and Stephanie a lesson (because that’s what really matters in this whole thing).

This segment showed how horribly uninteresting this whole thing is when Jericho isn’t talking. Owens barely got to say anything and Rollins wants to win the title to show up HHH and Stephanie. Some main event feud. Also, did Stephanie need to be here? Like at all? She came out, told Jericho to do the main event (which Owens had already done) and was insulted that she was on the list (like Owens a few seconds later).

Post break Stephanie tells Rollins to give the List back because the fans were promised a triple threat. Rollins vents about Stephanie’s real intentions and says the List is in the locker room.

Enzo Amore vs. Karl Anderson

Anderson and Gallows have cut off Enzo’s mic so he and the crowd do it with pure vocal power. Enzo fires off rights and lefts in the corner but dives into a spinebuster as we take an early break. Back with Enzo getting kicked in the face but stopping a charge in the corner. A rollup is broken up but Cass kicks Karl in the face to give Enzo the pin at 7:39.

Rating: D+. I almost had this whole match written from the opening bell because this was exactly what you would have expected these two to do. It’s fine to set up the tag match and thank goodness we didn’t hear any of Anderson and Gallows trying to be funny. Enzo and Cass need to win on Sunday as it’s not like Anderson and Gallows can go much further into the hole.

Rusev says he slept like a baby last night because he gets his hands on Roman Reigns inside the Cell this Sunday. Reigns has done a lot of horrible things but now it’s Rusev’s chance to crush him for good. Simple and to the point here, as it should be.

New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Non-title. Before the match, New Day praises Cesaro but says Sheamus shames us because no one wants to see him. Woods is the odd man out here, which is kind of surprising as they’re normally defending the titles. Cesaro’s backbreaker gets two on Kofi and a double back elbows shows that Cesaro and Sheamus can actually work together. New Day quickly gets it together and takes Sheamus into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede.

Back from a break with Kofi in trouble and taking the ten forearms to the chest. Cesaro misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Big E. to deal with Sheamus. The Irish Curse gets two on Big E. and Cesaro’s vertical suplex gets the same. The Midnight Hour is broken up but Kofi is launched straight into the uppercut. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Big E. for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C+. Let’s see. Yeah I’m checking here. Maybe….almost….nah I still don’t care about Sheamus and Cesaro. They’re still the same uninteresting pair that have been around since before Summerslam and still are little more than a rehash of the League of Nations having problems against New Day back in the spring. New Day needs to roll over them and give us the record in December. If you just have to give these two the belts after that then so be it but don’t mess with the year plus run for this stupid idea.

We look back at Goldberg’s return.

Jericho frantically looks for the List but runs into Titus O’Neil, the Shining Stars and Jinder Mahal, all of whom have something for him other than the List (Titus Brand, travel brochures and a breathing exercise).

Bayley vs. Dana Brooke

Bayley has a taped up shoulder after last week. Dana says not so fast because she doesn’t like the idea of last week’s win being called an upset. Tonight there’s going to be another match but this time it’s arm wrestling. Dana easily wins so Bayley offers to go left handed. Bayley starts to win and of course Dana decks her and turns the table over for the beatdown. A Bayley to Belly sends Dana running and thankfully cuts off the BORING chants. Can you blame the fans for not being impressed here?

Jericho is freaking out over the List when he runs into Stephanie, who isn’t interested in helping him. Stephanie lists off everything she has going on and says Jericho is in the match, List or not. Chris says no List and no match, ya dig? That’s not cool with the boss, who says Jericho wrestles or gets suspended.

Curtis Axel vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Axel does a really good speech about his Minnesota roots and being Curt Hennig’s son. Bo starts fast but the Roll of the Dice is countered into a PerfectPlex for two. I bought that for a second. A running forearm drops Curtis and we hit the chinlock. Axel fights out and hits the running neck snap for two and that’s it for his offense as Dallas grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:58. I’ve said Axel should be pushed as a face for years and this was more evidence that I’m right. It’s also more evidence that WWE gets way too much pleasure out of having people lose in their hometown.

Video on Rich Swann.

Jericho is about to leave when a guy comes up to say he saw the List. Chris finds…..Braun Strowman looking at it and asks for it back. Braun: “Say please.” Strowman doesn’t see Sami Zayn’s name on the List but gives it back anyway. Jericho says it’s on page four and since Braun touched his personal property, HE JUST MADE THE LIST!

Roman Reigns talks about being in the Cell, which Rusev hasn’t experienced. Reigns takes this personally and is ready to do anything to keep the title on Sunday.

We run down the card for Sunday’s show.

Golden Truth vs. Shining Stars

Mark Henry is with Golden Truth and Titus is with the Stars, which makes me feel a bit better about their earlier segment. It’s really nice to have them actually have a reason to be in the back instead of just showing up for a cameo. I love little things like that. Corey is reading a brochure as the Stars come out to the ring as he needs to get his mom a birthday gift.

Primo is dropped by Goldust to start but some double teaming puts him down. The snap powerslam puts Epico down and everything breaks down with Titus low bridging Truth to the floor. Henry shoves Titus into the ropes to crotch Epico, setting up a flapjack into Little Jimmy for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: D. Can someone take this show behind the barn and shoot it already? I’ll actually give this match a little credit: they’re trying to build something out of nothing and it could be a lot worse. I mean, there’s at least something there and a moderate attempt to be interesting. It’s not really working and the match feels like a nacho break but I’ll take what I can get.

Mick Foley is in the ring for the contract signing between Sasha Banks and Charlotte. They talk about how big of a moment this is going to be, only to have Foley go into his annual rant about how evil the Cell is. Charlotte calls Sasha an entitled second rate talent who will learn respect from the Queen this Sunday. Sasha is ready to crawl up the ramp broken and bloodied as long as she has the Women’s Title. They trade insults but Foley cuts them both off to say he’s their future. Dude if the Cell is going to turn them into 6’4 men with long beards, maybe we should cancel the match.

As expected, the fans chant for Foley, thereby completely missing the point of this segment. Foley met Charlotte as a child and his kids gave Sasha their signed photo of Eddie Guerrero. More insults and a double signing FINALLY wrap this up. Charlotte vs. Sasha in a major gimmick match is fine but no one, like NO ONE, buys that the match is going to be all violent and career threatening like Foley is pushing and that kills the idea.

Emmalina video.

Brian Kendrick vs. Rich Swann

TJ Perkins is on commentary. As Kendrick makes his entrance, we see clips of his run from seven to ten years ago. It’s very sad that the #1 contender to a title doesn’t even have enough video from his current run for a highlight reel. In case you didn’t know, Perkins runs down his history with Kendrick (Brian was his mentor) for the millionth or so time.

Swann flips over Brian and hits a good looking dropkick. A spinning dive to the floor takes Kendrick down and we head to a break. Back with Swann fighting out of a chinlock and snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. What looks like a victory roll is broken up but Swann slips out of the Captain’s Hook and grabs a cradle for the pin at 9:14.

Rating: C. So Swann, who looked a lot better here, pins the #1 contender for a title that has no heat going into a pay per view title match. I get that Swann is likely the next challenger but they’re ruining this division more week by week. I’ll spare you another list of problems and just say Swann looked good here and go on.

Owens promises violence on Sunday but he’s the only one coming back.

Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn

This has the potential to be good so let’s see how they can screw it up. Before the bell, Strowman says he wants competition but he doesn’t see that in front of him. Strowman shoves him away but Sami low bridges him to the floor. This goes badly for Sami as he dives at Braun, only to get thrown into the barricade. Strowman walks away and there’s no match.

Kendrick comes in to see Perkins and says the clock is ticking on his career. If TJ loses on Sunday, he’ll bounce back. If Brian loses, that’s it for feeding his family. TJ walks away.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman with something to say. Heyman does his usual schtick about how Lesnar will smash Goldberg, only to have the Goldberg chants cut him off. Heyman calls out the fan that started them and says they’re getting on Brock’s nerves. After their match, all of the chants in the world won’t be able to put Goldberg back together again. Suplexes are promised and the fans go back and forth with SUPLEX CITY/GOLDBERG chants. Heyman rips on them and the chant turns into GOLDBERG SUCKS…..to wrap this up. Ok then. There was NOTHING here and it didn’t need Brock at all.

Owens and Jericho have a meeting before the triple threat with Chris asking if their friendship means as much as the title. Kevin smiles it off and doesn’t really answer. Jericho says they’ll still be best friends no matter what but Kevin looks concerned.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. They play keep away to start until Owens gets kicked out to the floor. A Blockbuster gets two on Jericho but Owens pulls Seth outside. The champ is sent into the barricade but Jericho throws Seth into the crowd. Back in and Owens scores with a clothesline, only to have Rollins avoid the Cannonball. The Pedigree doesn’t work on either Canadian but the Lionsault hits Seth’s knees.

Owens saves his buddy from a Pedigree and it’s time for the double teaming. The handicap portion continues until Owens is low bridged to the floor. Jericho eats the low superkick and Rollins dives onto Kevin. Seth misses the frog splash and eats a Codebreaker for two. Owens comes back in and slaps Rollins a lot as the STUPID IDIOT chants kick in. Rollins escapes a double superplex and pins both guys at the same time with a double rollup at 10:00.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but it’s WAY too late in the night to really matter. Rollins pinning the champ is appropriate as Owens has been a huge afterthought in this entire story. That also makes four straight times that Rollins has pinned Jericho so you certainly can’t say he’s getting too many wins.

Post match Owens and Jericho destroy Rollins by sending him hard into the steps. We’re still not done though as Rollins runs up the ramp and dives at Owens, only to get beaten down again. Owens gives him the Apron Bomb and walks back up the ramp to get his title so some posing can end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What a dog of a show this was. There was no effort here and their best idea was to say “Raw Exclusive Pay Per View” over and over as many times as they could. This was every lame idea they could come up with in three hours with almost no one really trying and the show feeling even longer than usual. The worst part is the show wasn’t even the worst. What it was was lacking energy and that’s as bad as it’s going to get. Horrible stuff here and little more than making me want to get to Survivor Series instead of caring about Sunday.

Results

Enzo Amore b. Karl Anderson – Rollup

Cesaro and Sheamus b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.

Bo Dallas b. Curtis Axel – Rollup

Golden Truth b. Shining Stars – Flapjack into Little Jimmy to Epico

Rich Swann b. Brian Kendrick – Oklahoma Roll

Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho – Double rollup

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