Lucha Underground – December 7, 2016: Bullfighting

Lucha Underground
Date: December 7, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We’re in a weird place here as this season is so long that it can take a long time to get anywhere. At the same time though, almost nothing interesting is really going on. We might be able to get somewhere with Matanza going after Rey Mysterio and Vampiro being Prince Puma’s new mentor but it’s hard to say what we might be getting here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Johnny Mundo’s rise to the Lucha Underground Title, the Best of Five series between Texano and Cage and Sexy Star losing the title.

Angelico comes in to see Dario Cueto and demands a match with Mundo tonight. The title doesn’t have to be on the line but Dario talks about Johnny’s lawyer. Lawsuits are threatened and Angelico suggests putting Dario through a table. Dario brings up a tournament for the #1 contendership. That’s enough for Angelico.

The tournament will be called the Battle of the Bulls with four fatal fourways (one fall to a finish). The winners will advance to a fourway elimination match for the title shot.

Battle of the Bulls First Round: Cage vs. Texano vs. Joey Ryan vs. Dr. Wagner Jr.

Cage jumps Famous B. before he can get done with Wagner’s entrances. So much for him getting fame. It’s quickly down to Cage vs. Texano with the latter scoring off a leg lariat and grabbing his bullrope. A big flip dive takes out Wagner and Ryan but Cage moonsaults down onto all of them for a huge crash. Wagner gets superplexed back in as it’s all Cage early on. For some reason Ryan tries a Blockbuster, only to get caught in a Jackhammer. That’s just awesome.

Wagner starts in on Texano’s knee before snapping off a middle rope cutter. Joey gets two on Cage off a middle rope neckbreaker but Cage is right back up with the Tower of Doom to put everyone else down. Back up with Ryan superkicking Cage into a German suplex from Texano, who sitout powerbombs Joey for two. Cage comes right back in with the bullrope to knock Texano out for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: B-. The Battle of the Bulls name could work really well as this was all about hitting each other really hard. That being said, I really could go for them finishing up one competition before starting up something else in the middle. Cage vs. Texano needs to wrap up so they can be the vessel or whatever it’s going to be so we can get somewhere.

Dario gives Sexy Star a match with PJ Black. If she wins, she gets her title rematch inside a cage. If she loses though, no more title shots ever.

Captain Vazquez sends Cortez Castro back into the Temple despite Dario knowing he’s a cop. She gives him a mask, because all police officers keep those in their desk.

Sexy Star vs. PJ Black

Of note here, Striker explains the stipulations which are sent to his headset. Again: they don’t see the backstage segments and I’ve always liked that. Star starts fast with a hurricanrana but Black doesn’t seem all that worried. A quick throw sends Star down so PJ can pose a bit before blasting her with a shot to the face. The top rope Lionsault gets two but Star avoids a second and grabs a DDT for two. Cue Jack Evans for a failed distraction though, allowing Star to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D+. Oh my goodness I am sick of Sexy Star. In case it hasn’t been BEATEN INTO YOUR HEAD enough by now, Sexy Star is a woman and male heels don’t take her seriously. Also there’s something about her fighting back from adversity from years ago which again you almost never hear about because we’re too busy hearing about how amazing Star is. You don’t have to

Kobra Moon tells her tribe that they must bring back the man who deserted them over a thousand years ago. She orders them to bring her the man who used to be a dragon.

Matanza still wants Rey Mysterio but Dario says Rey is injured. Matanza isn’t pleased so Dario tries to calm him down, only to have the monster attack. Now that’s a change.

Battle of the Bulls First Round: Marty Martinez vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

Everyone goes after Muertes to start and are easily shrugged off. A second attempt works a bit better and Muertes is dumped out to the floor. Dragon spins way into the air for a DDT on Mack, only to get speared in half by Muertes. Marty gets right in Mil’s face so Muertes fires off ten clotheslines in the corner. Mack actually drops Mil but gets into it with Dragon instead of following up. What a schnook.

A big flip dive takes Mack down but Dragon can’t follow up. Instead Mil spears Marty through the ropes to take the other two down in a big heap. Back in and Mil punches Dragon so hard that he hurts his own arm. Everyone decides to go after Muertes again but for the second time in the match, no one is smart enough to stay on him. The swinging chokeslam plants Dragon but he gets in a hurricanrana to send Muertes into the corner. A 450 crushes Mil and Dragon doesn’t cover with even Vampiro saying that was a bad idea.

Cue Matanza to powerbomb Dragon onto Mil and plant him with Wrath of the Gods. Dario comes out with the key to draw Matanza to the back, leaving Mack to Stun Marty for the pin at 8:26. Striker: “On this night, the Mack was indeed the better man!” Not really. He was the only one who wasn’t an idiot and one of the guys who wasn’t laid out by Matanza.

Rating: C+. The interference was a bit much and Striker got on my nerves more and more every time he talked with the big ending line making it even worse. Still though, good match here as this tournament is entertaining so far. Mack winning is interesting and I’m glad they didn’t go with the obvious choice in Muertes.

Overall Rating: C+. I really can’t get over how much I can’t stand Sexy Star. If there’s ever been a more two note character…..well there probably are several of them but none that really get on my nerves like she does. The tournament matches helped but it still feels like they’re adding in more and more stuff instead of really getting anywhere with the things they’ve already started. The action carries it though and that’s what matters most.

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