Main Event – December 22, 2016: Why the Cruiserweights Don’t Work
Main Event
Date: December 22, 2016
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Austin Aries
I’m curious to see what they’re going to do with what should be a holiday show. I know we already had one of those last week but shouldn’t that have been taking place this week instead? Either way we’re at one of the last shows before the end of the year and it’s hard to guess what we might get here, save for some uninteresting lower card matches. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Goldust vs. Curtis Axel
Goldust, who apparently debuted before Tom was born (according to Aries at least), works on the arm to start and grabs a powerslam to send Axel outside. Now it’s time for Curtis to work on the arm as I guess he’s a heel again this week. R-Truth plays cheerleader on the floor as Goldust comes back with a spinebuster to put both guys down. Ten right hands in the corner have Axel in more trouble and the Final Cut wraps Axel up at 5:21.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here but that’s what Main Event is for now that Jinder Mahal seems to be getting a small push on Raw. Why Mahal is the one getting that spot isn’t clear but I’m sure general idiocy can be blamed on some level. That being said, what did Axel do to deserve all these losses? He can’t even beat Goldust anymore?
Back to Raw for the first time.
Here’s New Day to address their title loss. They’re cool with losing the titles because Ric Flair couldn’t become a sixteen time champion without losing fifteen times. Big E.: “And that’s Charlotte in a month.” After declaring that they still rock, here are the new champions to interrupt. Sheamus and Cesaro are already bickering over who won last night so New Day insults Sheamus a bit more.
Cesaro on the other hand has catlike reflexes and is strong like a……someone help Big E. out. Cesaro: “Like an ox?” Kofi was thinking more like a carpenter ant who can lift seven times his own weight. They bicker a lot with Woods talking about how much merchandise they have at the moment. Cue Anderson and Gallows to talk about how sick they are of the New Day nerds, only to be cut off by the Shining Stars. A brawl breaks out and you can book the eight man tag from here.
Shining Stars/Anderson and Gallows vs. Cesaro/Sheamus/New Day
This is joined in progress with Epico hitting a nice double underhook gutbuster on Kofi. Gallows and Anderson take turns on Kingston as Saxton thinks Cesaro and Sheamus had one of the greatest accomplishments in the history of the division last night. This is why people make fun of you Byron. Anderson spikes Kofi and we take a break.
Back with the Shining Stars diving onto the champs and the Boot of Doom getting two on Kofi. Big E. comes in to clean house but Sheamus tags himself in, setting up an assisted White Noise for two on Epico. Cesaro comes in and swings Primo into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 10:46.
Rating: C. That’s your tag division people: the bickering champs, the bald guys who put “ski” at the end of random words, the jobbers and the team that is better than all of them put together. New Day is in a weird place now as they need something new to do but I’m not sure how they’re going to go fight outside of the division.
From Raw again.
Here’s Charlotte to address winning the title back last night. She goes into a big speech about how no one is on her level because she’s a guaranteed win on pay per view. This brings out Bayley and Charlotte isn’t pleased. Bayley knows Sasha vs. Charlotte was the greatest rivalry of all time but now it’s time for the Bayley vs. Charlotte rivalry to begin.
Last night was all about the scoreboard and Bayley is 2-0 against Charlotte, including at Survivor Series earlier this year. Charlotte put up four fingers last night for the Four Horsewomen but Bayley didn’t come up with the rest of them because she just wasn’t good enough. The challenge is issued and Charlotte actually agrees to fight right now.
Bayley vs. Charlotte
Non-title. Charlotte works the arm to start and puts Bayley in trouble with the figure four headscissors. A headlock gets Bayley out of trouble and she rides Charlotte on the mat. We even get a little strut before Charlotte is sent outside. Back from a break with Charlotte ramming Bayley face first into the mat over and over.
A chinlock keeps Bayley in trouble but she fights out of the corner and gets in her sliding clothesline. Charlotte sends her into the corner again but the moonsault only gets two. Bayley reverses a chop into a backslide (with Charlotte’s shoulder clearly up) to put Charlotte away at 14:45. Graves points out the shoulder being up and replays confirm it.
Rating: D+. This was actually one of the sloppier matches I’ve seen in a good while. Maybe it was nerves or Charlotte being a bit tired after last night but this really didn’t work as well as I was expecting. I don’t think Bayley gets the title at the Royal Rumble but the big match at Wrestlemania has a lot of potential.
Tony Nese vs. Lince Dorado
Dorado speeds things up to start and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar. Aries’ suggestion: poke him in the eye. Nese finally powers him up into a backbreaker as we go to a break. Back with Dorado going hard into the buckle and Nese posing a bit. One heck of a clothesline gets two for Tony and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Dorado fights up and hits the handspring Stunner, followed by the big dive over the top for good measure. Back in and Lince kicks him on the top, only to get shoved away, setting up the 450 for the pin at 11:48.
Rating: C-. Nese’s posing and power displays helped but this really wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Dorado really doesn’t do anything for me as he really is as generic of a luchador as you’re going to find. In other words, this was the cruiserweight equivalent of power vs. speed and it didn’t work all that well.
We see Jericho getting locked inside the shark cage on Monday.
We’ll wrap it up with Monday’s main event.
Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho
Rollins gets caught in the wrong corner to start and the Canadians take turns stomping him down. A quick Sling Blade puts Jericho down for two and the bad guys try to leave, only to get caught from behind. Back from a break with Reigns hitting his running clothesline on Owens, only to get decked so Jericho can take over.
The slow beating continues and we even get one of the suddenly favorite crowd reactions shots, showing a very bored looking girl. Owens puts on a chinlock of his own until Reigns gets free off a Samoan drop. Rollins comes in with a DDT/neckbreaker combo, earning himself two more crowd reaction shots. Jericho blocks a Pedigree and the frog splash to set up the Walls, sending Seth over to the ropes. Reigns gets in a Superman Punch and reaches for the hot tag, only to have Strowman run out to go after Roman for the DQ at 15:04.
Rating: D. Strowman getting involved is at least a little more interesting but DANG I’m bored with the main event scene right now. People were ready to cheer for Jericho, only to have the carpet pulled out from underneath them because SURPRISE, we’re right back where we were when these matches were announced.
A powerslam plants Reigns as Jericho and Owens watch from the ramp.
Overall Rating: D. This was bad even by Main Event’s standards and that’s about as low as you’re going to get in wrestling. The stuff from Raw wasn’t very good, the original wrestling wasn’t very good and Byron Saxton still has a job. Aries was his usual entertaining self but you have to give him something to work with or it’s going to be bad, like this one. Really lame show this week and that’s not nice around the holidays.
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