Main Event – March 30, 2017: The Slow Road to Wrestlemania
Main Event
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
It’s Wrestlemania week and there’s a good chance that you’ll never know it based on watching this show. If I had to guess, we’ll be seeing some nothing matches and a bunch of build towards the pay per view. In other words, it’s going to be Monday Night Raw all over again. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke
Dana is freshly face. Feeling out process to start with Fox running her over, only to get slammed for two. For some reason this makes the announcers suggest that Dana is cheating, even though she certainly didn’t. Fox’s northern lights suplex gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Fox misses a boot in the corner and gets caught in a Samoan Driver for the pin at 4:09.
Rating: D+. Yeah fine. Dana is pretty much the same character as a heel or a face, which isn’t the best sign in the world. This was really just having Brooke shrug off Fox’s offense and hit her finish, though she has a good smile and the entrance works well enough. It’s clear that neither of these two are going near the title anytime soon and this didn’t seem to do much to help them.
From Raw.
Here are Rollins and HHH for the contract signing. HHH doesn’t get in yet because he has to tell Seth that the match is off if there’s violence before the match. Seth has to sit down and listen to what he has to give up or there’s no match. HHH explains the idea all over again and then blames the fans for putting Seth in jeopardy.
The boss doesn’t understand why people hate success so much. How dare HHH drive a nice car and live in a nice house? You have one life to live and there’s no point in holding back. HHH finally gets to a logical point by saying Seth doesn’t want to miss Wrestlemania twice in a row but if he walks in to Wrestlemania, he’s not walking out.
Seth says that’s the same nonsense he bought into three years ago but he’s not doing it now. He didn’t mind wrestling in front of 100 people for a hot dog and a handshake in the Philadelphia National Guard Armory because he loves this business. Seth loves this and it’s more than just a match at Wrestlemania. Rollins signs and the beating is on with HHH going after the knee. HHH loads up the crutch but gets caught by an enziguri and backdropped over the top.
Also from Raw.
Here’s Reigns for his big talk about Undertaker. He was in this building two years ago when he won the Royal Rumble and then went on to main event two straight Wrestlemanias. Roman, sounding rather heelish, doesn’t care what the people say and doesn’t care what Undertaker thinks: this is his building and this is his yard. The gong strikes and Undertaker is on screen in the graveyard.
We see him digging the grave, which is in a special part of the cemetery. At Wrestlemania, the Roman Empire will crumble and the ultimate thrill ride will be Reigns’ Last Ride. Reigns should live each day like its his last because at Wrestlemania, he will…….and there go the lights because Undertaker is in the ring. As he was saying, Reigns will rest in peace. The lights go dim again and Reigns isn’t phased.
Lince Dorado/Gran Metalik/Mustafa Ali vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak
Nese runs Metalik over to start but Metalik starts using the ropes, including walking across them into a springboard armdrag. Ali comes in and gets sent hard to the floor as we take a break. Back with Gulak getting two off a hard clothesline before grabbing a one arm camel clutch. Ali pops back up with the rolling neckbreaker and there’s the hot tag to Dorado. A shooting star gets two on Nese and everything breaks down with Metalik getting in a big dive. Nese adds the inverted 450 for the pin on Gulak at 9:05.
Rating: C-. This was every run of the mill cruiserweight six man you’ve ever seen. Metalik had some good dives in there but there was nothing else of note in the whole thing. They really do just throw these people on TV and hope for the best. The match isn’t bad by any stretch but it’s completely uninteresting.
We’ll wrap it with this.
Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for the big closing segment. Lesnar is the extremist who is going to derail Goldberg’s ultimate thrill ride. The Universal Title is what matters most around here because it’s the one (Heyman: “There’s a number you’re familiar with at Wrestlemania.”) thing that matters more than anything else. Lesnar craves and lusts after that title but more than that he wants to destroy Goldberg.
While Goldberg may be the man, Lesnar is the Beast that will chew him up and spit him out at Wrestlemania. Now we need a reason to get people to buy the show (“Or buy a ticket off a secondary market because Wrestlemania is sold out. Thanks for the house Brock!”) so here it is: Goldberg is going to Suplex City! Lesnar doesn’t fear the spear because Goldberg can’t survive the F5. Here’s Goldberg to say the people are here to see us fight, meaning it’s a spear to Lesnar in the aisle. Lesnar is down on the floor as Goldberg poses to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Complete waste of forty five minutes here with recaps of segments that weren’t great in the first place and two nothing matches. Main Event is a show that has to put in some strong effort to get above being a nothing show and they certainly didn’t accomplish that here. Bad show and one of the weakest since I’ve been watching.
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