Impact Wrestling – March 30, 2017: That’s….Not Bad
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Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
Opening sequence.
The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.
DJZ vs. Andrew Everett
Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.
Fury will be unleashed on April 13.
We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.
Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.
Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.
Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.
We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.
Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody
Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.
Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.
We look at Moose vs. Cody again.
Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.
KM vs. Braxton Sutter
Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.
Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.
Fury is still coming.
Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum
The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.
Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.
Results
Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package
Moose b. Cody via split decision
KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber
LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid
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