Impact Wrestling – May 25, 2017: And There Goes The Steam
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 25, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash
It’s time for another triple threat match, this time with World Title implications. Tonight it’s James Storm vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Magnus in a match that will likely help set up the World Title picture as we approach Slammiversary. We’re about six weeks away from the pay per view, meaning it’s almost time to start setting things up. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s show, focusing on the Ultimate X match and the setup for tonight’s triple threat.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Bruce Prichard to get things going with Tyrus as his new bodyguard. Despite what Carter did to him last week, Bruce wants to get us to the most important thing around: the Impact Wrestling Heavyweight Championship. This brings out Lashley, who brags about his dominance. He doesn’t care about the people in the triple threat match, which does seem to be for a shot at the title.
Before Bruce can announce the challenger, here’s Carter to say he’ll win and get the title shot. Magnus comes out to say the same thing because Lashley has never beaten him. Naturally Storm is here to say he should be getting the shot. Bruce makes the match a #1 contenders match with the winner getting the shot at Slammiversary (Forget all those weeks of talking about the GFW Title being the golden ticket I guess). He’ll even make it No DQ (because triple threat matches are known for their disqualifications) but no one can touch either of the other two before the match starts.
Carter says he’s winning tonight to fulfill his destiny.
The announcers talk about the upcoming JB/Joseph Park vs. Josh Matthews/??? match at Slammiversary. We’ll find out Matthews’ partner tonight.
KM/Kongo Kong vs. Braxton Sutter/Mahabali Shera
Sutter and Kong get things going with JB saying we’re in for a treat with Kong in the ring. JB needs to learn the definition of “treat”. Allie gets in an argument with Sienna/Laurel Van Ness as Shera can’t slam Kong. He can slam KM but stops due to a Laurel distraction. Since it was just a slam, KM pops up and takes over on Shera. An elbow to the jaw keeps Shera in trouble and it’s back to Kong for a headbutt (giving us quite the jiggle).
Kong hits a belly to belly and a rolling backsplash to take us to a break. Back with Sutter getting the hot tag to clean house, including a middle rope neckbreaker for two on KM. Everything breaks down and the women get into it again, leaving Shera and KM down in the ring. Allie crossbodies both of them, followed by Kong headbutting Shera into a rollup (with trunks) for the pin at 11:30.
Rating: D+. This feud is still going despite not much really changing. It’s still fallout from the wedding but, other than having more people brought in, it doesn’t feel like anything has changed since then. Shera really only seems to be there for the sake of the India tour (at least he wasn’t made World Champion) and Kong is just an embarrassment from a physical standpoint. The feud isn’t horrible but I could go for a fresh plot point instead of just adding a new name.
The guys fight to the back with Allie being surrounded. Cue Rosemary of all people for the save, including mist to Sienna and the Red Wedding to Laurel. So the evil Rosemary is now face yet Allie still can’t get a big win? That seems to be taking a few too many steps in the booking.
GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War
The winners get LAX in the finals because we had a four team tournament to crown a second pair of champions, assuming you don’t count the titles that Bahh and Bokara bring with them. Bokara and Wilcox start things off with a toss into the corner allowing the tag off to Mayweather.
A shot to the face gives Mayweather a little trouble and it’s off to the huge Bahh. Mayweather walks into a Samoan drop, allowing Bahh to bite his own fingers for some reason. Bahh misses a charge into the post and it’s off to Wilcox to clean house. A missed charge sends Bahh to the floor so Mayweather can kick him in the face. The MOAB ends Bokara at 5:08.
Rating: D. Bokara and Bahh haven’t done a thing for me since they debuted and that’s still the case now. It’s an average guy and a low rent Yokozuna imitation which isn’t exactly worth much as a team. The Veterans on the other hand are rather awesome and I’m digging them more every time I see them.
Magnus is ready to win the title shot.
Here’s Matthews to make his announcement. Josh calls JB into the ring to talk about making up for all of his mistakes. Matthews loves Jim Ross, who is the greatest announcer of all time (to clarify: they’re fighting over an announcer who has never and likely never will work here). He’s now a Vice President of the company (Fans: “WASTE OF MONEY!”) and has to act as such. As Pope rips on how stupid this is, Josh offers a handshake but gets cut off by Joseph Park.
We get a history of Josh lying and getting shoved down, which is enough to turn Josh back into his normal, ranting self (So the point of him being nice for two minutes was…..?). Josh goes on about how he should be the face of the Fight Network and calling all the major sporting events. He wants the match right now so here we go.
Josh Matthews vs. Joseph Park
The bell rings and twenty seconds later here’s SCOTT STEINER of all people, despite having lost about 50lbs of muscle since he was last here. No contest of course but JB and Park’s eyes bugging out are great.
JB and Park bail as Steiner shakes the barricade and beats up a fan as Josh hits Park low, allowing Steiner to put him in the Recliner. So to recap: Josh is married to an active wrestler but the only option was to bring in Scott Steiner. What was that chant again? WASTE OF MONEY?
Back from a break with a recap of what we just saw, because that’s really the top story in this company.
Video on Moose’s reign as Grand Champion.
Eli Drake says he isn’t going to change for anyone but has to back off from Moose, who is being held back by security. Moose agrees to give him a title shot next week but Chris Adonis comes in to help on the beatdown.
Alisha Edwards/Eddie Edwards vs. Angelina Love/Davey Richards
It’s a brawl in the aisle to start until the guys officially get things going. Davey rips at Eddie’s face and shouts that Eddie made him do this. Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive, leaving Alisha to hit one of her own on Angelina as we take a break. Back with Davey slapping on a Figure Four for a good while until Eddie fights up for some chops. Josh makes a nice mention of the Manchester attacks as Eddie gets a hot tag to Alisha, meaning it’s off to the women. Alisha misses a high crossbody but comes back with a rollup for the pin at 11:48.
Rating: C-. This was more about Eddie vs. Davey but it’s a good idea to have Alisha get her feet wet like this. The division is dying for some more talent and Edwards would be better than a lot of their options. The match was nothing special but it’s another case of a feud continuing after it probably should have ended, or at least taken a break. Davey vs. Eddie is still good but it needs an endpoint, which I’d assume is at Slammiversary.
Post match Davey handcuffs Eddie as Alisha is powerbombed through a table.
Spud isn’t here tonight (despite saying he would be and given that IT’S A TAPED SHOW that shouldn’t be hard to avoid) but promises to be back next week. As he’s talking, Spud’s mom yells at him from upstairs. Spud: “KAYFABE MOM! KAYFABE!” As usual, Spud is funnier than pretty much everyone else in this promotion.
Magnus vs. Ethan Carter III vs. James Storm
The winner jumps past Alberto for the title shot at Slammiversary, which I’m sure will change. It’s a brawl to start with Carter being sent out to the floor, leaving the other two to chop it out. The fight heads outside in a hurry with Storm taking a double suplex onto the ramp as we take a break.
Back with Josh making fun of JB as the weapons are brought in for the first time. Storm takes a kendo stick to the back but heel miscommunication sees Magnus and Carter both take stick shots. Magnus realizes that’s not a bad thing and unloads on Carter, allowing Storm to make his comeback with a clothesline.
Some chops allow Storm to grab a chair of his own for some hard shots. Carter breaks it up and gets two off the TK3 to Storm, only to be sent to the floor. Storm’s Last Call is countered into a Cloverleaf but Carter makes the save with a chair. The 1%er gets two on Magnus, followed by a Codebreaker with a chair getting the same on Carter.
A Tower of Doom sends Storm flying but he sends Storm heads first into a chair in the corner. Magnus makes the save with a top rope elbow for two. Josh: “You know they’re watching in the UK right now!” The show airs on Friday night Josh, so I doubt that’s true. Storm hits a Last Call on Magnus but Carter throws him to the floor and steals the pin at 20:10.
Rating: B-. Good match but does anyone really believe Carter vs. Lashley is officially set in stone and actually happening now? Like, we’re just supposed to believe that Alberto is going to do something else? I mean, I know common sense isn’t TNA’s strong suit but I could actually see them having two World Title matches and stretching it out to Bound For Glory to make sure they drain any interest people might have in the story. Anyway, good action packed match here and while Carter would have been the favorite, he didn’t feel like a lock to win.
Overall Rating: D+. Once they get done with these double titles, they might actually have something. The problem again comes down to these marathon tapings. You can only go so far with the one idea and it’s probably asking a bit much to have the writers come up with something that fresh in a hurry. Unfortunately that means we’re stuck with stories dragging on forever and a severe lack of steam when they reach the end of a taping cycle. The show was still good but it’s needing a breath of fresh air and I don’t think Scott Steiner is the solution they’re looking for.
Results
Kongo Kong/KM b. Braxton Sutter/Mahabali Shera – Rollup to Shera
Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – MOAB to Bokara
Josh Matthews vs. Joseph Park went to a no contest when Scott Steiner interfered
Alisha Edwards/Eddie Edwards b. Angelina Love/Davey Richards – Rollup to Love
Ethan Carter III b. Magnus and James Storm – Last Call to Magnus
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I know TNA is against the idea of having PPVs these days (save for two) but their feuds just go on forever without any resolution. You think being funded by Anthem would give them incentive to add a couple more a year again. Bring back Lockdown as one, that seemed to be one of their better ones.
I don’t get why they treat James Storm like a goon. He’s in these pointless stables and then gets a World Title shot but loses every time.
Also i don’t get the point of them bringing up Jim Ross in this announcers feud. Do they suddenly expect him to leave WWE and his gig calling New Japan on AXS TV for them?