Monday Night Raw – June 5, 2017: It Has To Work

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 5, 2017
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re past Extreme Rules and in a bit of a surprise, the new #1 contender is Samoa Joe, who will get to face Brock Lesnar in just over a month at Great Balls of Fire. Other than that…..yeah there isn’t really a lot to talk about, other than Cesaro and Sheamus winning the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last night’s main event. Makes sense in a long match.

Here’s Bray Wyatt to say that he was ready to slay the Beast but his sword was taken from him. The other four men in the match are all guilty and now it’s time to start his path back to the Beast.

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt

Before the match, Bray offers an alliance with Roman, who says this reaction is why he’s the guy. He punches Bray in the face and we’re ready to go. Sister Abigail and the Superman Punch both miss in the first thirty seconds and Bray is punched to the floor for a break. Back with Roman fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a DDT for two.

Another chinlock is broken up with a Samoan drop for two, only to have Bray send him into the post. A backsplash on the floor crushes Roman and takes us to our second break in eight minutes. Back again with Reigns sending him to the floor, only to get Rock Bottomed for two.

Bray takes him up to for some reason, only to have Roman slip out for a big sitout powerbomb. The Superman Punch gets two more but Bray rolls outside before the spear. That’s enough to set up the apron dropkick but Roman gets blasted with a clothesline. They’re both in at nine and Sister Abigail is countered into the spear for the pin at 19:38.

Rating: B. Well that was long. It was also annoying booking as they were seemingly building Bray up for a potential run at Lesnar but HAHA ROMAN WINS AGAIN! You know, because we have to keep the former three time World Champion strong in case the shine goes away. Bray gets to rebuild again while Reigns just keeps babbling about being THE GUY because people keep cheering/booing him at the same time.

Enzo Amore doesn’t know who attacked him and thinks he should sell ice cream. Cass doesn’t like the idea that people think it was him and promises to have Enzo’s back. Enzo stops to hit on Cathy Kelly, who doesn’t seem to mind.

Stills of Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss from last night.

Kurt Angle is in his office reading another incriminating text when Bliss comes in to hear some congratulations. When they don’t come, Bliss says she’s tired of Bayley so tonight it’s Alexa Bliss: This Is My Life. Angle says that’s terrible because last week’s segment was awful (it wasn’t THAT bad). Instead, tonight Bliss is defending against Nia Jax as she promised she would on last night’s pre-show.

Elias Samson sings about Dean Ambrose.

Dean Ambrose vs. Elias Samson

Ambrose comes out and hits him in the head to send Samson outside. Dean grabs the mic and says he wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Title right now. Miz comes up on the screen and says no because he has a celebration for later. The distraction lets Samson hit his swinging neckbreaker. No match.

Post break Angle makes Miz vs. Ambrose for some unspecified point in the future. As for tonight though, Ambrose needs to leave.

Here’s Samoa Joe to talk about Lesnar. Joe gets straight to the point: he isn’t afraid of Brock Lesnar but he does envy the way Lesnar gets to do things. He shows up and fights when he wants and has Paul Heyman to run his errands for him. This brings out Heyman to say that Samoa Joe is the next challenger. Lesnar doesn’t fear Joe but Heyman thinks Joe likes that.

We hear about Lesnar not being afraid of facing Undertaker, John Cena, Goldberg or any of his other challengers because that’s what Lesnar does. A few weeks ago, Heyman said he wanted to see Lesnar vs. Finn Balor because it’s a license to print money. Joe is the worst case scenario however because Joe doesn’t care.

Even if Lesnar successfully defends the title, Joe is going to take a piece of Brock with him. That being said, Heyman’s job is to make Lesnar Joe’s worst case scenario. They shake hands and Heyman goes to leave. Joe stops him though and whispers into Heyman’s ear that he’s about to choke Heyman out and render him unconscious. Before Joe does it though, he makes sure Heyman remembers it so he can tell Lesnar what’s coming for him. That’s exactly what Joe does and Heyman is left laying. Joe looked amazing here and that’s the kind of upgrade he needed before heading into the match with Lesnar.

Post break Angle gets in Joe’s face and says that can’t happen. Joe says he’ll do that to anyone who is in his way but all that matters is if Angle is in his way. Seth Rollins comes up with a challenge for later tonight. Angle makes the match.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Non-title. Sheamus sends Slater into the post to start and we’re in an early chinlock. Heath actually comes back with a kick to the face but Cesaro pulls Rhyno off the apron. The distraction is enough for a Brogue Kick to finish Slater at 1:43.

Sheamus says that’s how smart teams win and takes a quick poll on how happy the fans are for the win. They know the Hardys aren’t happy and there’s nothing that can be done. So the feud CONTINUES??? REALLY???

TJP runs into Neville and wants his promised title shot. Neville basically tells him to back off.

Mustafa Ali vs. TJP

Ali starts fast and snaps off a headscissors but TJP takes him down without too much effort. TJP takes him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT. It’s too early for the inverted 450 though, allowing TJP to hit the Detonation Kick for the pin at 2:40.

Post match Neville comes out to say there’s no shot. TJP wants to talk to Angle about this right now and gets his face slammed into the stage. Neville shouts that the title is on the line tomorrow night on 205 Live.

Goldust sees the bigger picture here and says the biggest names in Hollywood will be around soon because the Golden Age is back.

Mickie James, Dana Brooke and Sasha Banks are talking (like any three random women do) when Alexa comes up and wants to chat. By chat, she means turn them against Nia Jax. Sasha has already left but Mickie and Dana don’t seem to buy it. The two of them will be at ringside tonight.

The announcers talk about Bliss vs. Jax when Angle comes up to show Graves another text. They have a talk that we can’t hear and Graves goes back to the announcers’ desk, where he completely ignores Cole’s questions about what just happened.

Angle won’t talk about what happened, calling it a private matter. As he goes outside with his phone, Ambrose sneaks back in, with the Revival again being seen in the background.

Kalisto vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus accidentally cost Apollo Crews a match last night so he’s showing Apollo how it’s done. Kalisto gets sent into the corner and slammed down as we see Akira Tozawa of all people watching. Apparently he’s next in line to join the Titus Brand, though that’s from Titus himself. A fall away slam is countered into a rollup with trunks, only to have Kalisto reverse into one of his own, with a handful of trunks for the pin at 1:43.

Big Cass has been attacked. Enzo runs in and finds a gold chain in Cass’ hand. Post break, Enzo blames Revival and says they need to have their match. The referee says Enzo will need to find a new partner.

It’s time for Miz’s celebration with Maryse hosting and a guy in a bear suit behind her. Miz comes out and we hit the YOU DESERVE IT chants. That’s not cool with the new champ, as the fans chant that at every new champion in WWE. Miz brags about how awesome he is and how glad he is to be the new champion.

Maryse is praised for being this great but she didn’t order the bear. Miz beats the heck out of the bear….but it’s not Ambrose. That earns the bear a toss over the top (Miz: “At least you got beaten up by the Intercontinental Champion.”) and here comes a present in a big box. Miz doesn’t trust it and destroys the thing with a chair.

Maryse freaks out because it’s from her. She got him a grandfather clock because it’s timeless, just like her. Maryse yells and leaves as Miz goes off about Ambrose getting in his head. As the rant continues, the cameraman puts his camera down because it’s Dean. The beatdown doesn’t take long and Miz is left laying.

Enzo Amore/??? vs Anderson and Gallows

Amore has a new partner and it’s……Big Show. Before the match, Enzo says Show is looking slim and might be joining 205 Live. Enzo is 206 though and that makes him a heavyweight. He keeps going about rubbing Big Show and asks him to loosen up. That sends Show into something like an Enzo impression before finishing with the Cass line. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face at the bell but it’s off to Show almost immediately. A chokeslam to Anderson sets up a modified Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 1:42.

Video on Alexa Bliss.

Post break, Cass accuses Show of being the attacker but leaves with Enzo without much of a problem.

R-Truth says he’s coming for Goldust and quotes A Few Good Men.

Bliss doesn’t like the rest of the division.

Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is defending with Mickie and Dana at ringside. Jax throws her around to start and sends the champ into a corner. Bliss avoids a charge and tries a sleeper but gets sent outside. Mickie and Dana laugh at her so Alexa starts a fight, drawing the DQ at 2:20.

Nia destroys Mickie and Dana post match.

Heyman is in the trainer’s room when he gets a phone call from Brock. Paul thinks Brock should be here next week.

Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins

Joe tries an early powerbomb and gets taken down with a hurricanrana, only to have Joe come back with right hands and chops in the corner. A hard knee to Seth’s head has Rollins in trouble and the Sling Blade is countered as we take a break. Back with Joe still hammering away as the announcers talk about wrestlers hitting their stride and being on a roll like never before.

Joe crushes him with the backsplash and cranks on the arm. The snap powerslam gets two but Seth finally scores with an enziguri. A suicide dive sets up the Blockbuster, followed by a second dive. Rollins muscles him up for a Falcon Arrow and Joe is actually in some trouble. Bray Wyatt’s lights hit though and…..no one comes out. The distraction is enough to set up the Koquina Clutch though and Rollins is out at 14:14.

Rating: C+. As usual, this match had the standard Raw problem: it doesn’t mean anything so why should fans care enough to watch it? We know Lesnar is back to deal with Joe next week so why is this interesting? You know what else isn’t interesting? Bray, who lost to Reigns two and a half hours ago completely clean. If you want him to be this big deal, stop having him lose matches over and over. Rollins vs. Wyatt is interesting but it doesn’t matter if you have Reigns beat both of them in back to back weeks.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a bad show but way too long, as is so often the case. Having Lesnar back next week should help a lot and the show will be better as a result but dang the rest of the show could use some freshening up. It feels like a lot of these feuds have been going on forever and that shouldn’t be the case coming off a pay per view. The show had good moments (Bliss continuing to be gold and Joe choking Heyman out) but they need something to get people fired up. Maybe it’s Lesnar next week but if he doesn’t do it, I have no idea what will.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear

Cesaro/Sheamus b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Brogue Kick to Slater

TJP b. Mustafa Ali – Detonation Kick

Kalisto b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Enzo Amore/Big Show b. Anderson and Gallows – High crossbody to Anderson

Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax via DQ when Mickie James and Dana Brooke interfered

Samoa Joe b. Seth Rollins – Koquina Clutch

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