Impact Wrestling – October 26, 2017: Three Out of Seven is Really Bad
Impact Wrestling
Date: October 26, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
We’re back in Orlando and whatever other city/country they’re using material from this week. That’s the major issue at this point: a lot of Impact isn’t so much from Orlando but rather from all over the world. It’s nice once in a while but it’s mainly just showing how horrible the Impact Zone is. Let’s get to it.
Dan Lambert, Bobby Lashley, Moose and Stephan Bonnar arrived earlier today.
Johnny Mundo arrived earlier.
Opening sequence.
We recap Team AAA vs. Team Impact.
From AAA in Mexico.
James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano
It’s a brawl to start with Fantasma being double teamed in the corner. Texano pulls Carter outside and posts him as the brawling continues. Storm beats on Fantasma against the barricade as Carter stomps on Texano inside. The announcers recap why this feud started, which all began when Hector Guerrero didn’t vote for Fantasma in a Grand Championship match? Remember that? Remember the Grand Championship? Remember Hector Guerrero being involved in this feud? You shouldn’t, as he hasn’t been mentioned since that initial appearance.
Storm hits Carter by mistake and Fantasma takes over with an enziguri. The vill…I have no idea who the villains are supposed to be here actually, as you would think the guys from Mexico would be faces in Mexico. Anyway they crotch Storm with the bull rope and Carter gets kicked in the head. Texano trips Fantasma to continue a feud taking place in AAA but Fantasma comes back with the kneeling tombstone on Carter. Fantasma kicks Texano in the face but gets Last Called for the pin at 7:14.
Rating: D. This was barely a match and was much more about advancing Fantasma vs. Texano, which is a feud I didn’t even know existed coming into this show. The story continues to be a combination of uninteresting and bad here as apparently it’s over that Grand Championship match from a few weeks back. I’m sure this is leading to a six man tag at Bound For Glory, even though there’s next to no interest in this whole thing (which to be fair could apply to the company as a whole at this point).
Eli Drake is on the phone when he runs into Dutch Mantel. Apparently Eli is missing media appearances and marketing calls so Dutch wants to know what’s up. Drake blows them off and says those things aren’t important before returning to the phone. It’s not clear who he’s talking to but Drake thinks it’s time they came back.
After a break, Jim Cornette, Scott D’Amore and Mantel yell about Drake. Scott leaves to make sure they have a show tonight. Cornette comes up with an idea: if Drake loses the title, this whole thing might work itself out.
From Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.
GFW Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. Phil Atlas/Brent Banks
OVE is defending and we’re joined in progress with Dave and Atlas coming in off hot tags. Phil is taken into the corner and kicked in the face for his efforts. Jake gets two off a dropkick as the announcers talk about almost anything else. Not that it matters as Brent comes in again with a dropkick of his own and a front flip into a nip up. Dave sends the champs into each other but Banks hits a falling cutter. A top rope elbow gives Banks two but it’s the spike tombstone to Brent to retain the titles at 5:10 shown.
Rating: C-. Who are Phil Atlas and Brent Banks and why does GFW think I’m interested in them? Better yet, what is Border City Wrestling? AAA and Pro Wrestling Noah are big deals but the Crash and Border City aren’t exactly household names, or really even big time indies. They’re just promotions that are included occasionally and it’s not like this is outstanding action or anything like that. It’s another match that doesn’t do anything for me and that’s been the case since these international matches started.
Another long recap of Moose/Bonnar vs. American Top Team. By the way we’re 24 minutes into the show and we haven’t seen any wrestlers in the Impact Zone arena.
Drake won’t do an interview and texts someone instead.
From Pro Wrestling Noah in Tokyo.
GHC Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Naomichi Marafuji
Edwards is defending. Feeling out process to start as they run the ropes with neither being able to get much of an advantage. It’s a standoff and we’re clipped to Eddie hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. An enziguri knocks Marafuji off the top but he comes back with a no sold Saito suplex. A hard shot to the chest drops Marafuji and we’re clipped to Edwards not being able to hit a suplex.
Clipped again to Marafuji kicking Eddie in the head to stop a dive. They head outside with the pads being pulled back. Eddie can’t hit a piledriver on the concrete but settles for a superkick instead. Another clip takes us to Eddie hitting a nasty suicide dive. Clipped again to Eddie getting piledriven on the apron (good looking crash) and yet again to Marafuji hitting a top rope C4 for two.
Another clip has Eddie grabbing a super hurricanrana, followed by another clip into the Boston Knee Party getting two. A tiger bomb gets two more and it’s an Emerald Fusion to retain Eddie’s title at 6:36 shown. Way too many clips to fairly rate this but this looked to be a heck of a match, which ran about twenty six minutes in full.
Marafuji shakes his hand post match.
OVE is sick of LAX and has a friend to help them out. We don’t see his face but he gives a thumbs up, which switches to a thumbs down. That’s the pose of Sami Callihan, who has been rumored to be coming to the promotion.
Drake says he doesn’t have time to talk but is ready for his tag match against Johnny Impact and Garza Jr.
Laurel Van Ness is in the arena with two glasses of champagne. She’s the first GFW talent in the arena tonight and we’re 47 minutes into the show.
Back to Border City Wrestling in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.
Petey Williams vs. Idris Abraham vs. Tarik vs. Kiyomiya
One fall to a fall and it’s a brawl to start with Kiyomiya getting knocked down, setting up a brawl between Abraham and Tarik. Abraham gets put in the Tree of Woe for O Canada and we’re clipped to Petey hitting running corner dropkicks. Petey dives onto Kiyomiya and grabs a crucifix for two on Tarik.
Back in and Abraham starts cleaning house with some forearms, only to have Tarik send him into the corner for a running elbow. What looks to be a Cross Rhodes is broken up and it’s Tarik hitting Ricochet’s Benadryller for two on Kiyomiya. Petey comes back in with a bicycle kick and it’s the Canadian Destroyer to put Tarik away at 5:55.
Rating: C. Pretty standard four way match and I’m not even going to bother making the same complaints that I’ve made so far. The other problem here is this was a way to showcase Petey Williams. That’s all well and good, but is there NO ONE else that could get this kind of a spotlight? I mean, of course that would suggest actually putting the focus in the arena and on GFW, which isn’t the point of this show, at least in the first half.
Recap of Impact vs. Drake.
Eli Drake/Chris Adonis vs. Johnny Impact/Garza Jr.
Adonis shoves Garza into the corner to start and Garza TAKES OFF HIS….shirt. Dang it that’s quite the tease. An enziguri puts Adonis down and it’s off to Impact for some double chops. Chris pulls Impact’s hair from the apron though and Drake comes in to hammer away. Everything breaks down for a big and Drake clears the ring without too much effort.
Adonis adds a clothesline to take Johnny down but he sends the villains into each other, allowing the hot tag to Garza. That means IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS, followed by a superkick to Adonis. Stereo moonsaults get two on Drake but Garza gets knocked down as we take a break.
Back with Garza getting double teamed in the corner and Adonis doing his biceps pose (This guy might have fewer moves than Kevin Nash). We hit a camel clutch for a bit before it’s off to Drake for a bad looking powerslam. Garza kicks him away though and it’s the hot tag to Johnny. A running knee to Adonis sets up the springboard corkscrew crossbody with Drake making the save. Everything breaks down and Adonis hits Drake by mistake, allowing Johnny to grab a rollup for the pin at 14:02.
Rating: C. Just a tag match here though they made a point of having Drake avoid Impact. They’ve set up a nice little story for the title match, but the company is kidding themselves if they think this is the top story going into the pay per view. The World Champion shouldn’t be taking a huge backseat to something that isn’t a really important feud and that’s not something Bound For Glory has.
Alberto El Patron is returning at Bound For Glory.
Video on Trevor Lee coming to the Crash and wondering who he’s facing for the X-Division Title.
From the Crash in Tijuana, Mexico.
X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Ultimo Ninja
Lee is defending, which shouldn’t be that surprising as we haven’t seen Ninja (Garza Jr.’s brother) before. Ninja wastes no time in taking Lee down for a dropsault. Lee sends him outside and scores with the running apron kick to the chest. Back in and things slow down again with Lee slowly stomping and posing a lot. Ninja fights back with a missile dropkick for two, followed by a running flip dive to the floor. A spinning kick to Lee’s face gets two more on Lee but he raises his boots to block a moonsault. The standing double stomp retains Lee’s title at 6:00.
Rating: D+. It’s not a good sign when the fans who know Ninja didn’t seem to care about him either. This was a short match with two guys not doing much of anything special. There was no reason to believe that the title was changing hands, making it just a step ahead of an old school squash.
Global Forged.
King Mo doesn’t like Moose or Bonnar. You remember King Mo right? He’s that MMA guy who shows up every few years, doesn’t do anything important and leaves again without most people realizing he’s gone. But he a Bellator mainstay so he’s always being brought back. His history with TNA isn’t mentioned here so if you don’t know that stuff coming in, he’s just an MMA fighter with a big mouth.
Moose vs. Bobby Lashley
Bonnar and Lambert are the seconds here. They don’t waste time as it’s Moose taking him into the corner to start for some hard forearms to the chest. Lashley sends him into the corner as well for some forearms of his own. Moose puts him on the top for a dropkick out to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Lambert grabbing Moose’s leg so Lashley can kick him to the floor. Lambert gets in some choking with a boot as he’s holding some kind of trophy. Lashley hits some posing on the floor and stomps away on Moose back inside. There’s something to be said about someone who can do all the power stuff and wrestle a strong amateur style going with a simple offense instead.
It’s quite the heel move as he’s basically saying he doesn’t need to go to the good stuff when simple offense is more than enough. A chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s Moose coming back with the bicycle kick. Moose’s hesitation dropkick connects but Lambert comes in for the DQ at 11:41.
Rating: C. Something that has gone under the radar in this feud: Dan Lambert is a pretty good heel manager. He’s obnoxious and condescending and can talk fairly well, but he’s stuck in this terrible story. Kind of a shame really. Anyway this worked well and they were smart to do the non-finish with less than two weeks before Bound For Glory. Lashley and Moose are good choices for power guys and you can almost guarantee a tag match at the pay per view. I have no idea why we’re not just seeing this singles match there, but I’m assuming it’s something about the company thinking wrestling fans care about MMA.
Moose and Bonnar clean house post match with Moose powerbombing one of the American Top Team guys onto the pile. The MMA guys bail to the stage and Moose throws out a challenge for Six Sides of Steel at Bound For Glory.
A promo for LAX vs. OVE wraps us up.
Overall Rating: D-. They do know that Bound For Glory is in less than two weeks? You really could have cut this show down to about thirty five minutes and no one would have noticed the difference. There were seven matches on this show and three of them (one of which was heavily clipped) involved wrestlers with matches actually on the pay per view card. It really does feel like they’re throwing whatever they can out there and hoping people watch.
I know they have some issues with filling in so much content over the way too long marathon taping sessions but filling it in with this isn’t working. There’s a good chance that they’re going to do the exact same thing with the Ottawa tapings and that’s going to make for some very, very long episodes in the future. This show was hard to sit through and that’s with a goal in sight. How bad is it going to be when they don’t have a pay per view for another eight months?
Results
James Storm/Ethan Carter III b. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano – Last Call to Fantasma
OVE b. Phil Atlas/Brent Banks – Spike tombstone to Banks
Eddie Edwards b. Naomichi Marafuji – Emerald Fusion
Petey Williams b. Tarik, Idris Abraham and Kiyomiya – Canadian Destroyer to Tarik
Johnny Impact/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Chris Adonis – Rollup to Adonis
Trevor Lee b. Ultimo Ninja – Standing double stomp
Moose b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Dan Lambert interfered
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I could not even sit through this. Whatever this promotion is, it will not be around much longer.
I could not even sit through this. Whatever this promotion is, it will not be around much longer. Lol
I started watching the show early today and when they announced 5 matches were from other promotions, I just cackled and thought about you. I freaking hate it. Especially the AAA stuff because it’s real obvious that they don’t give a single damn about what Impact’s story is when putting these matches together.
Why must you laugh at my pain?
Hey, I shared it. At least you’re not watching two sides of the same match.