Impact Wrestling – November 23, 2017: Perfectly Harmless Fun

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 23, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re getting into the swing of these Canadian tapings but there’s a good chance this show isn’t going to mean much for the most part due to the holiday. The big story tonight is the return of Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron after one full week away. It’s hard to say what they’ll do, though I’d put my money on brawling. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tonight, the Turkey Bowl is back. There’s a match between a bunch of people and the loser gets put in a turkey suit.

The Turkey Bowl is so cool that we need to go back to the 2008 version!

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Rhyno vs. Alex Shelley

Bashir is X-Division Champion and helps Shelley for a double team on Rhyno. That goes nowhere as Rhyno easily slugs both of them away and scores with a belly to belly for two on Bashir. Clipped to Rhyno getting double teamed again but the others keep getting in an argument over scoring the pin (and a $25,000 prize). Bashir rolls Shelley up for two but gets caught in a super atomic drop. Rhyno uses the distraction to Gore Shelley for the pin at 2:48 shown.

Post match, Mick Foley tells Shelley he has to put the suit on but Shelley doesn’t want to. See, the women won’t be happy and that would hurt the ratings. That’s cool with Foley, but Shelley is fired if he doesn’t do it. Shelley finally puts it on and Foley makes gibblet jokes. Foley: “Is that a gizzard in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” The suit goes on and more jokes are made. If this is the case, I can go with it more than holding a regular show on Thanksgiving.

Robert Irvine has prepared a Thanksgiving dinner and I think you know where this is going later in the night.

We hear some Thanksgiving memories from wrestlers.

Eli Drake and Chris Adonis interrupt the Thanksgiving festivities and tells a story about his daddy’s mashed potatoes, which is one of the things his family does best (along with beating people up of course). The Turkey Bowl is now Eli Drake’s Gravy Train Turkey Trot and we’ll be drawing some random names for the five on five match. One team will be captained by Eddie Edwards.

Eddie is excited and says this is a big check off his wrestling bucket list.

The other captain is El Hijo Del Fantasma, who says Thanksgiving doesn’t mean anything in Mexico. It sounds like a party though and every party needs chocolate.

Video on the upcoming Knockouts Title tournament. It ticks Sienna off, making me think that Sienna has some intelligence to her.

Wrestlers list their favorite Thanksgiving foods.

Preview for next week’s show, including Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron.

From 2011.

Robbie E. vs. Eric Young

Joined in progress with Robbie beating up the turkey suit before dropping a middle rope elbow for two. We’re clipped to Young hitting a piledriver for the pin at 1:12 shown.

Post match, Robbie is still out so he can’t put on the suit. Therefore, Young says Robbie’s buddy Robbie T. can put it on instead. The referee says that if T. doesn’t, E. loses the TV Title (yes they had the TV Champion lose a match like this) so the suit goes on.

Allie joins Team Edwards and is really excited to get to wear the suit…until she finds out she has to lose first. She isn’t interested.

Caleb Konley joins Team Fantasma and Trevor Lee isn’t too happy with it.

Richard Justice is on Eddie’s team but he’s worried he can’t fit in the suit.

Various wrestlers are thankful for various things.

KM is on Fantasma’s team but doesn’t care about anything other than impressing American Top Team.

Laurel Van Ness is also on Team Edwards (despite being a villain) and makes turkey noises.

Wrestlers talk about Thanksgiving memories.

From 2016.

Robbie E. vs. Grado

I think we’re in comedy match territory. They trade fists to start but it’s a fist pound instead. That leads to back to back nipple twists before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Both guys try rollups with feet on the ropes but enforcer Aiden O’Shea cuts them off. Grado tries a sunset flip but Robbie sits on him for the pin at 2:49.

O’Shea makes Grado put the suit on but he starts to get into it. Dancing ensues.

Fallah Bahh is in the match as well. I’m assuming on Team Fantasma if they’re still alternating picks. Bahh can only say his last name and gobble gobble.

Garza Jr. is in as well and says everyone in the tournament (What tournament?) is underestimating him due to his injury.

The final entrant, and announced as a team captain, is Chris Adonis. Wait so was it five in a row or alternating? Why would they not just say that the first and last names pulled out are captains? My goodness how can they manage to screw up PULLING NAMES OUT OF A HAT??? Would a graphic have been too much to ask for?

Adonis rallies his team as we’re just forgetting the whole “Fantasma is captain” thing.

Team Edwards is ready.

Team Edwards vs. Team Adonis

Eddie Edwards, Garza Jr., Allie, Fallah Bahh, Richard Justice

Chris Adonis, Caleb Konley, Laurel Van Ness, KM, El Hijo Del Fantasma

The loser of the fall wears a turkey suit and there’s food at ringside, along with Eli Drake. We’re not ready yet though as the teams sit down at the food tables as Drake insists that everyone has to put on the suit if they lose. He has a statement for JB to read, which pretty much just says everyone play nice.

Justice sticks his finger in Konley’s mouth to start and gets two off a rollup. Laurel comes in and jumps on Justice’s back so it’s off to the women for a change. KM and Bahh are up next with some shots to Bahh’s head taking us to a break. Back with Bahh crossbodying KM and bringing in Garza….WHO TAKES OFF HIS PANTS! I’m rather thankful.

Garza gets punched down though and it’s time for the heel beatdown. Adonis comes in for two off a legdrop and it’s time for a bearhug (on a guy with a bad shoulder). That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Eddie to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and KM gets crushed between Justice and Bahh.

We get the big crash to the floor and Justice falls off the apron, only to be caught without much effort. Allie dives onto everyone to break up the pile and everyone is down. Back in and Adonis can’t grab the Adonis Lock, allowing Eddie to roll him up for the pin at 16:04, meaning Adonis gets to wear the suit.

Rating: C-. Oh what were you expecting here? This was all in good fun and nothing more than a comedy match. The match was just there for the sake of having a one off match for a holiday special and as a result, it’s really hard to be harsh on it. Adonis having to wear the suit is fine and it continues a (rather goofy) tradition. It wasn’t anything good, but it’s perfectly harmless.

Post break, Adonis refuses to wear the suit. Security actually stops him as the referee holds up the suit like an executioner’s ax. After a lot of persuading and a GOBBLE GOBBLE (One of us?) chant, Adonis finally puts it on and walks around a bit. Adonis isn’t cool with the chants though and the required food fight, with Adonis hitting Drake in the face with a pie, ends the show. This was actually entertaining as they just went with the simple comedy and it worked perfectly well.

Overall Rating: C. Just like the main event, this was nothing you needed to see but it’s completely harmless fun. I’m rather glad they didn’t waste a regular show on a night where even fewer people than usual would be watching. Just let the show be a lighter edition for a change and get back to the regular stuff next week. This was an easy show to sit through and that’s all it should have been. If you ignore the more complicated than necessary name drawing system (Just throw up a graphic so we know who is on which side. Or drop the captains entirely as they didn’t mean anything.), this was a fun little show and that’s a good sign.

Results

Team Edwards b. Team Adonis – Rollup to Adonis

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