Main Event – March 29, 2018: John Cena is Obnoxious
IMG Credit: WWE
Main Event
Date: March 29, 2018
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph
This could be one of the more important Main Events of the year as they can do a pretty hard sale of Wrestlemania with so few shows left to go before Wrestlemania. There was some big stuff this week and that means it’s time to really crank things up. Oh and the cruiserweight tag match. Never forget about that. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Titus Worldwide vs. The Revival
Wilder and Apollo start things off but we’re at a four way staredown less than thirty seconds in. Dawson comes in and gets backdropped for his efforts, allowing the tag to Titus. It’s already back to Wilder and a running clothesline gives Apollo two. Apollo gets elbowed down in the corner though and Dawson grabs a waistlock. That goes into a chinlock and it’s exactly what you would expect to follow that hold. Wilder gets powerslammed and the hot tag brings in Titus to clean house. Not that it matters as the Shatter Machine ends Titus at 5:52.
Rating: D. This was lame even by Main Event standards with Titus Worldwide already losing a lot of its limited steam. The same is true of the Revival, who hasn’t done much in recent weeks. Having them thrown into the battle royal isn’t a good sign for them either, but at least they’re not being completely buried.
From Raw.
Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman recaps the attack on Roman Reigns last week and of course we see some clips. As it turns out, Reigns’ suspension is lifted but he’s not here tonight. Heyman goes over the Samoan wrestling family raising Roman to be a star and a champion. What they didn’t raise him to be is a man.
Reigns was the one saying he was here every single week no matter what but he’s not here tonight. Maybe Reigns should have found three MMA students, dressed them up like US Marshals and beaten the heck out of them before starting a fight with Lesnar. Reigns isn’t man enough to do that though, nor is he man enough to show up here and take another beating from Brock.
Heyman loads up the end but Reigns is in the crowd. He comes out swinging with a chair and gets in a few shots but Brock runs him over. A HARD shot to the face with the steps puts Reigns down and Brock lays him out with the chair. Brock goes to leave but comes back with an F5 onto the steps. Reigns is left laying, again. The story they’re telling here is good, but Reigns not even missing a single show isn’t helping. That and the fans don’t want to cheer for Reigns and there isn’t much of a way around that problem.
We look at Daniel Bryan’s return announcement and beatdown at the hands of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn.
From Smackdown.
Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat on the stage. He loves being in Pittsburgh because he’s cleared to be back in the ring. However, tonight he has a job to do as General Manager. Bryan is willing to give Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn one more chance: in a tag match against Shane McMahon and himself at Wrestlemania. Shane should be back in time for Wrestlemania, so we have some stipulations. If Owens and Zayn lose, they stay fired. If they win, they’re back on Smackdown Live.
Bryan talks about opportunities, like the ones he’s given Owens and Zayn. He’s given them those opportunities because the two of them have always been there for him, whether it’s as a partner or if he needed a bed to sleep in. Bryan has a bunch of responsibilities as General Manager like going to meetings, filling out paperwork and wearing these blazers (CM Punk would not approve).
He’s sick of all of them because he fought for three years to get this spot. Owens and Zayn have held him back and now, it’s time for him to fight at Wrestlemania. Bryan goes on a rant about how this isn’t the Bryan on a disabled list or the General Manager. This is the Bryan coming to Wrestlemania to take out Owens and Zayn.
Wrestlemania rundown.
Lucha House Party vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari/Jack Gallagher
Metalik and Daivari get things going with Ariya charging into a raised boot in the corner. Nese takes Metalik into the corner though and we take an abrupt break (felt like a clip), coming back with Metalik hitting a springboard double dropkick. Dorado dives onto Daivari and Gallagher, leaving the Salida Del Sol to end Nese at 1:46. Oh yeah they clipped the heck out of that.
From Raw.
Here’s Kurt Angle to bring out Ronda Rousey. Angle talks about Stephanie and HHH being ready for anything so Wrestlemania is going to be a lot of fun. Rousey was watching that video earlier and Stephanie is tough, but she’s trust fun tough. She’s limousine riding tough. At Wrestlemania, she’s get what’s coming to her when Ronda takes her arm out of its socket.
Cue Absolution with Paige saying this is their world. It’s nice that Rousey is going into her first match but she needs backup. Rousey could be the fourth member of Absolution! That’s a no from Ronda so Paige sends the other two after her. Deville goes down with one shot and Rousey suplexes Mandy into Sonya’s legs. Rousey grabs Mandy’s arm and cranks a bit but Angle calms her down. That’s very Ken Shamrock of her. This was another rough segment from Rousey, but once she goes beast mode, she’s exactly what WWE wants her to be. The talking though….needs some work.
We recap John Cena calling out Undertaker over and over, basically acting like the biggest jerk in the world in the process.
From Raw again.
John Cena vs. Kane
No DQ. Kane wastes no time in stomping Cena down and a big boot puts him on the floor. We’re already in the chinlock and Cena can’t power up with the AA as Kane falls down onto him for two. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps as we take a break. Back with Kane knocking him through the crowd and hitting a suplex onto a well placed piece of barricade. They head back to the ring with Kane putting him down and going to take off a turnbuckle.
Cena sits up and sends him into the buckle, followed by the throat slit. A chokeslam gets two on Kane and it’s table time. Kane sits up this time though and shoves the table over before the AA can connect. Instead he sends Cena through the table in the corner for two. Rather than going after Cena even more, it’s another table being set up instead. The chokeslam is countered into an AA through the table to give Cena the pin at 14:02.
Rating: C. I’m still not interested in seeing Cena vs. Kane but at least they’re doing something else to set up the match than the usual stuff. That being said, Cena acting like Undertaker is some horrible person for wanting to retire because Cena wants a match at Wrestlemania is flimsy at best. This was perfectly fine for a house show main event.
Post match Cena wants to know where the lightning is. He calls Undertaker a coward again because there’s no response. Cena is willing to go to Wrestlemania as a fan because all he wants is SOMETHING from Undertaker. There’s just one week left to go because Undertaker has one week left to do something and define his career. Oh good grief. Anyway Cena wants him here next week because it’s Undertaker’s last chance.
Overall Rating: D+. That clipped match made things even less interesting than usual and my goodness Cena gets more and more obnoxious every time he runs his mouth about Undertaker. The Reigns vs. Lesnar and Bryan stuff was all very good and helped the show, but bad wrestling and emphasizing the really bad stories didn’t do this show any favors.
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