Impact Wrestling – April 12, 2018: She Really Just Did That
IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling
Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt
We’re past Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground and that means we need to hit the hard push towards Redemption. Now that being said, there’s the whole fact that Alberto El Patron has been dropped from the main event due to being Alberto. Hopefully they’ve had time to record something to address the situation, as otherwise a big chunk of this show will be a big waste of time. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a long recap of the Impact vs. Lucha Underground show, including the announcement of Alberto no showing and the new Redemption main event of Austin Aries defending the World Title against Fenix and Pentagon Dark. Really, that’s better for everyone all around.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Eli Drake with both briefcases….and an apology? He didn’t think much of the Tag Team Title briefcase but now he realizes he could have all the titles in this company in no time. At Redemption he’s picking up the Tag Team Titles but here’s LAX to interrupt. Konnan gets straight to the point of asking who Drake’s partner is going to be. Drake brings out Scott Steiner, looking like a grandfather more than anything else.
Steiner talks about how awesome the Steiner Brothers were and brags about being a World Champion on the NWO (wrong stable). They’ll win the titles but LAX doesn’t want to hear about it. Konnan laughs all of this off and says Steiner might beat Drake down before they even get to the match. Eli doesn’t care and says they’ll win anyway, but Konnan says play the LAX music so everyone can leave. Bringing Steiner in makes my head hurt, as it costs money and ignores the rest of the roster, many of whom could benefit from something like this.
The announcers talk about how awesome WrestleCon was and plug the rest of the card.
From December 1, 2016, Rosemary defeats Jade in a Six Sides of Steel match to win the Knockouts Title.
Sami Callihan vs. Moose
Moose wastes no time in hitting some running splashes in the corner, followed by a running hesitation dropkick. He can’t suplex Callihan to the floor though and gets clotheslined outside instead. A suicide dive sends Moose into the barricade but he’s right back with a weak apron powerbomb. The second attempt looks a little better so Sami is right back with a low blow to send us to a break.
Back with Sami hitting a running boot in the corner and walking into a powerbomb for his efforts. The chokebomb out of the corner gets two as the crowd is almost eerily quiet for this. Sami eventually pulls him down into a sunset bomb but walks into the Game Changer for two. Not that it matters as Sami hits him with the baseball bat for the DQ at 14:10.
Rating: D+. I’m just not feeling Sami and I never have. He’s a pretty standard brawler (though I’ve seen him crank it up before). At the same time, this is a pretty solid waste of Moose. He went from a Feast or Fired World Title case to getting beaten up by OVE. Maybe it’s me not caring for OVE whatsoever, but that’s quite the significant downgrade.
Post match the beatdown is on until Eddie Edwards runs in for the save. He’s beaten down as well so here’s Eddie’s wife Alisha to cover him up. The lights go out and it’s Tommy Dreamer (ERG) coming in for the real save with the kendo stick. Dreamer talks about fighting a war for his entire career so it’s a six man House of Hardcore match at Redemption. Cross promotion is fine, but my goodness why does it have to be Dreamer?
Josh Matthews vs. Petey Williams
Before the match, Josh blames Petey for the loss the Grand Championship and preventing Matt Sydal from being the World Champion. Tonight, he destroys the Destroyer. Josh hides in the corner to start and then bails to the floor and there’s no contact in the first two minutes. Sydal offers a distraction and Josh forearms Petey in the back so the chase is o again. Another distraction lets Josh forearm him down again but Petey is right back up with the Sharpshooter as Dutt is in stitches. That’s broken up with a distraction so Petey loads up the Destroyer, drawing in Sydal for the DQ at 3:57.
Rating: F. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but I know it was rather stupid. Matthews and Sydal’s spirit animal/spiritual guide thing isn’t working for me as Matthews should have been more like Michael Cole to Sydal’s Miz. Williams isn’t exactly thrilling me either but it’s not like much depth in the first place.
Petey gets beaten down post match.
Video on Brian Cage beating Bobby Lashley twice in a row.
Johnny Impact is tired of Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs interfering so here they are again. Impact wants a fight next week and it seems to be set.
We recap KM insulting Richard Justice (who is TOTALLY above being mocked) and setting up a six man tag tonight.
KM/Cult of Lee vs. Fallah Bahh/Tyrus/Richard Justice
Bahh cleans house to start by running Lee over and rolling over him for good measure. Justice comes in for some lefts and rights as we seem to be firmly in the comedy match zone to start. A few shots keep Justice in the wrong corner but it’s off to Tyrus in short order. Tyrus gets two off a Big Ending and everything breaks down. The Tongan Death Grip into a Banzai Drop puts KM away at 5:26.
Rating: D. Well that happened. They set up the match last week and then blew it off here with almost nothing significant happening. I get the idea here, but Justice has been there as a joke for months now (and not a very funny one at that) so I have it kind of hard to make myself care about his feelings being hurt. Nothing match of course.
Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary
This is a Demon’s Dance match, which seems to be another anything goes match. They waste no time in starting the brawl and head straight to the floor. Taya can’t hit the Road to Valhalla on the ramp but Rosemary can’t get the Red Wedding there either. Back to ringside with Taya throwing a bunch of chairs inside.
One gets wedged into the corner but Taya puts a second onto Rosemary in the corner, setting up some running knees. Another shot drives a chair between Rosemary’s legs for two but she’s right back up with a Sling Blade onto another chair. Now it’s ladder time but Taya gets in a suplex instead of being thrown into the steel.
The second attempt works better for Rosemary though and now it’s time for a table. Back in and Rosemary misses a charge into the chair to give Taya two. They head to the corner and neither can hit a super version of their finisher through a table. Instead Rosemary PILEDRIVES HER OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE, which thankfully is good for the pin at 10:13.
Rating: B. These two beat the heck out of each other with that finish being a sight to behold. In theory this puts Rosemary on a path towards a match for the Knockouts Title but seeing her vs. Allie is almost hard to picture for some reason. If nothing else I don’t want to see her vs. Su Yung in a battle of too similar characters, so maybe Allie is the easier call. Either way, very fun brawl here with a nearly scary finish.
Here’s the same video that opened the show.
We wrap up the show with nearly ten minutes of highlights from Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground. I’m guessing this was all they could do to replace an Alberto segment. If so, that’s perfectly understandable.
Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but there’s only so much you can do with the rest of this show. It wasn’t the worst show in the world but my goodness I don’t even want to imagine how bad the show would have been with some more focus on Alberto. The stories are developing, though they’re just nothing that I’m all that interested in at the moment. Hopefully Redemption is a lot better, but at the moment I’m not exactly thrilled.
Results
Moose b. Sami Callihan via DQ when Sami used a baseball bat
Petey Williams b. Josh Matthews via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered
Tyrus/Fallah Bahh/Richard Justice b. KM/Cult of Lee – Banzai Drop to KM
Rosemary b. Taya Valkyrie – Super piledriver through a table
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