Insurrextion 2000: Well, The Year Couldn’t Be Perfect
This was requested a few weeks back, though it’s an old version (over eight years) so the quality isn’t great. I apologize in advance.
Insurrextion 2000
Date: May 6, 2000
Location: Earls Court, London, England
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Back to England as we haven’t been here in awhile. This is another of the English shows that is made to look like a PPV despite being a big house show. It’s about a week after Backlash where Rock won the title from HHH and the main event is Rock vs. HHH vs. Shane which I’m sure will be riveting. Other than that there isn’t much here at all. Let’s get to it so we can get it over with.
The opening video is painfully generic with HHH, Shane and Rock saying exactly what you would expect them to say. This was fairly pointless and doesn’t make me think much of the show tonight.
That pyro is loud!
Too Cool vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko
The Radicalz are still new here having been around less than three and a half months to this point. Dean is Light Heavyweight Champions here which means absolutely nothing. Dean beat Scotty for the title so there’s your reasoning behind the match which is more than you would usually get here. I never got the appeal of Too Cool. They’re just not interesting to me in the slightest.
And what would a British show be without an air horn? Crowd is white hot too which is always a good sign. It’s weird seeing the old school barricades too. Saturn and Malenko are annoyed with each other apparently because Saturn hasn’t won a title yet. Saturn and Grandmaster get the mostly hot tags and the faces dominate.
I hate the Worm and any moves like it. If a bulldog keeps a guy down for like 10 seconds like that, why not cover them? If after ten seconds they can’t get out of the way of a chop, couldn’t they get pinned off a cover just after the bulldog? Anyway the top rope legdrop from Grandmaster to Saturn ends it. Saturn and Malenko fight afterwards.
Rating: D+. Eh not bad for an opener but at the same time this just didn’t have anything special about it at all. I’m not sure I get the logic of having the Radicalz lose either, but the match wasn’t that horrible. The fans were reacting well to it though so that’s a good sign I guess.
Mae gives Kat a pep talk.
And Vince is here! He says if HHH had gotten a fair match at Backlash he would have kept the title. Austin had run in during the match and hit HHH with a Stunner. Vince is awesome at what he does.
He has this confidence about himself and it works really well. Vince says Rock’s plan is that if he loses the title in England not a lot of people are going to know about it. You know, other than the people that watch Raw and see him without the belt. Vince says a relative of his will win the title. I’m not sure if there was a point to this or not.
Bull Buchanan vs. Kane
A month ago Buchanan and Boss Man broke Kane’s hand, hence the match. I love the organ music of Kane. It’s just sweet sounding. The pyro on the other hand will stop your heart. He has Bearer with him here too. We’re appearing to be in a squash match here as Kane completely dominates and then no sells a DDT. Yep Buchanan is dead in the water.
Buchanan hits his signature move where he runs up the corner and turns for a clothesline. Kane is of course up before Bull is. It’s ALL Kane here as even the stuff Bull hits has nothing as far as effect goes. A middle rope axe handle is caught in a chokeslam to end this in like 3 minutes.
Rating: C-. I like Kane so this was very fun. Buchanan was never really worth a thing so this kind of summed up his career: the best he’s got just got smacked right back in his face. This was one of the most one sided matches I’ve ever seen that didn’t involve a jobber, which is likely giving Buchanan too much credit but whatever. The rating is pure bias mind you.
Stephanie implies that Vince doesn’t like HHH which ticks him off.
Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg
Tori is freaking hot. She just is. And I always liked the King of Rock theme for DX. Also great to see these epic storylines getting closure on PPV like this. Farrooq does commentary here. The APA are total heels here and they go after Tori and the beatdown is on Road Dogg. Farrooq gets thrown out. Well you can’t say the first minute was boring.
Bradshaw works on the ribs a lot which makes sense. Not really but it felt right to say that. Ignore this and the previous sentence. This match is just boring. It feels like a house show match and that’s just not a good sign at all. Road Dogg has his ribs worked on for four minutes or so and then is just fine to get his two moves in where he dances. Why does that not surprise me?
The Clothesline isn’t quite a finisher yet but is a signature move at this point. And then a pumphandle slam ends it. Well that was riveting. I almost stopped watching that documentary on earwax.
Rating: F+. This was just bad. There’s no other way to put it. There was nothing of note here and Tori looking good was the only thing it had going for it whatsoever. It wasn’t interesting at all and there was no apparent reason for it happening. At least it’s over though.
Terri is ready.
The Kat vs. Terri
This is arm wrestling mind you. Kat has Mae Young and Terri has Moolah who are involved here for no explained reasons at all. Moolah’s legs are still nice looking actually. This feud went on forever and never wound up going anywhere but this is all about looks as neither of them could do a thing in the ring.
If you’ve seen any arm wrestling thin in wrestling ever, you know the next three minutes so I’ll be quiet for the most part. Terri and Mae both cheat and Kat wins. Terri pulls Kat’s top off and Kat is like screw it and shows them off. Naturally we don’t get to see a thing. Well it’s over at least. This was a waste of five minutes.
Rikishi is coming to the ring.
Crash is hiding.
Rock is JUST GETTING HERE.
Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Rikishi
It’s Showkishi here which is funny if nothing else. It’s not as good as Shogan but it’s still good. We get a clip of Trish being put through a table at Backlash for no apparent reason. D-Von and the thong wearing Show start us off. The Dudleys are still awesome here but what are you really expecting here?
Show was world champion four months ago and Rikishi was one of the most popular guys on the roster at this point. Lawler makes jokes and my head begins to hurt. They beat up Rikishi for a bit and we’re just killing time so far. I want to break whoever it is that has that stupid airhorn. What’s Up on Rikishi.
Show comes in and clears house and it’s a double Stinkface. Bubba gets a table and the place freaking POPS. I’m sorry for this review being so lackluster but this show is just not interesting at all. And here are Edge and Christian to beat up the Dudleys. A chokeslam on Bubba ends it.
Rating: D. Another boring match here. Nothing of note happened at all and it was a glorified comedy act. Rikishi was popular though and they loved the table appearing even though nothing actually happened with it. This was just a waste of time, but it sets up this.
Too Cool comes out and they trade glasses with the Dudleys. All six of them dance. Ok, I know I think it’s stupid, but the place freaking ERUPTED for this and with the amount of flashbulbs going off you would think it was Austin vs. Rock.
Bubba goes insane and moves faster than he’s ever moved in his career. This is fun so it did its job. Also this is on a European PPV so it’s not like many people are going to see it anyway, at least not by comparison.
We see Angle going around London seeing the sights. He’s the cocky guy that is happy go lucky here and is just freaking great.
Angle cost Benoit the IC Title and tonight it’s Angle vs. Benoit.
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
Angle gets one heck of a pop. He criticizes the English spoken in London and I’m loving this. Benoit gets nowhere near the reaction of Angle which is odd. His eye is about as swollen as Trish’s chest. And here’s Crash Holly. Ok then. He’s looking for an Englishman to fight and there’s no one willing to apparently. His voice is great actually. Do I need to tell you that this match is going to be good?
This is more about Crash than anything else though as we have almost no commentary about Benoit or Angle but it’s ALL about Crash. Is there a point to this at all? I could watch Angle suplex people all day. Once Crash finally shuts up we get back in time to see Benoit hit the Rolling Germans. He uses a bridge on the last one for two which is different for him. And then Crash takes things over again.
Angle grabs the referee’s hand and jabs Benoit’s eye with it. I’ll ignore how completely contrived that is but whatever. Benoit misses the headbutt and the Angle Slam ends it. This was MAYBE 6 minutes long. What was that?
Rating: C+. And that’s with the elevated ratings for these two. This was likely the worst of their matches I’ve ever seen as it felt like there was no motivation at all or anything like that. They were totally going through the motions out there and I have NO idea what the deal was with Crash out there. If there has ever been a WTF moment involving these two, this was it.
A blonde Michael Cole asks Shane who Vince was talking about and Shane says he meant Shane.
British Bulldog comes running to the ring with a referee (Teddy Long) for a Hardcore Title match vs. Crash. Ok then.
Hardcore Title: British Bulldog vs. Crash Holly
To say the crowd erupted is an understatement. Crash chokes him to insane booing. This is by far the biggest reaction that Crash has ever gotten. Bulldog is just destroying him here as you would expect. Crash has a kendo stick broken over his back. The Powerslam gets the title. This was REALLY short.
Rating: N/A. This was for the live crowd and there’s not a thing wrong with that. Bulldog would never be on PPV again and would lose the title back in less than a week. He would have one or two more televised matches ever I think.
Edge and Christian sign a fan an autograph and get 5 pounds from a kid for it. They take a picture for another fan but get in front of him so it’s just of them. That costs ten pounds.
Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Edge and Christian
The Canadians are champions here but does it really matter? Like Benoit vs. Angle, do I need to tell you that this is going to be good? Lawler calls Edge and Christian the beautiful people. JR says what’s next for Edge and Christian: shampoo commercials? Anyone that has watched Mania 18 knows why that’s funny.
How weird is it to think that this is 10 years ago and they’re one of the featured matches? Lawler seems to have a man crush on Edge and Christian. There’s nothing incredibly unique here but they know how to work well together and excite a crowd. That’s all you need to do sometimes and considering that this is a crowd that doesn’t often get live wrestling, even the most basic stuff they do is going to seem more impressive than usual.
Christian hits a nice powerslam on Jeff. Oh great now I’m typing to the beat that those airhorns are being blown at. Simple heel tactics really do work well. Edge kept Jeff from making the hot tag and got booed for it. Simple but effective. What more can you ask for? We follow that up with the classic referee missing the tag which is heavily booed. I love basics. Matt gets the tag which for some reason gets a very limited reaction.
And now it’s all breaking down. The double finisher hits Christian but Edge breaks it up with the bell for the DQ. Did you really expect anything else? The Dudleys come out and 3D Christian and put Edge through a table. Wait…they’re faces here??? What the heck?
Rating: B-. Solid stuff here, but they’ve had far more interesting and better matches before. They used a very basic formula here and it worked well. They beat the tar out Jeff and he sold it like a master. This was good for what it was supposed to be though, weak ending aside.
We recap Eddie vs. Jericho which is mainly over Chyna leaving Jericho for Eddie.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho
Eddie is European Champion here and Jericho is IC Champion. There’s a coin toss to determine which belt is on the line. Eddie doesn’t like Europe. Chyna speaks Spanish and I understand her. Jericho gets a big old pop. It’s weird to think that these two had been in the company less than a year combined.
He was completely gold on the mic at this point as you could see how much fun he was having just being out of WCW and being the midcard champion less than 8 months in. Eddie loses and the European Title is on the line. Jericho dominates early and Eddie tries to run but his woman won’t let him. That’s kind of amusing for some reason. I love the incredible cockiness of Jericho. It’s just an awesome character trait that makes him work.
Things like the posing pin and shouting ASK HIM to the referee. I love those kind of things and they’re so simple. Eddie takes over and snaps off a perfect hurricanrana. There’s a Gory Special that neither announcer recognizes as his father’s hold, so they call it a modified abdominal stretch.
Then he hooks an inverted one. Where is Mike Tenay or even Matt Striker when you need them? You can tell there’s a lot of improvising here and it’s working quite well. Well what did you expect from two of the best ever? Both guys go over the top and Eddie may have hurt his back. Chyna hits Jericho with a DDT for two. Jericho gets the double powerbomb which is just awesome. And there’s the belt shot to Jericho to end it.
Rating: B. Solid stuff here but then again what did you expect? Jericho had a fire in him at this point and it was very clear he was having a great time out there. Jericho would drop the belt to Benoit in two days so it’s not like this went on long anyway. This was a good match though and by far the best of the night. The ending was predictable but what else did you really expect?
Shane and HHH argue about who gets to win the title and over who Vince wanted to win. Stephanie says it doesn’t matter.
We recap this whole thing as Shane wouldn’t count the pin at Backlash when Rock had the title won. Linda and the fired Earl Hebner came in and counted the three anyway so that Rock could be champion.
Rock says he’ll overcome the odds.
WWF Title: The Rock vs. Shane McMahon vs. HHH
Hmm I wonder what’s going to happen. Shane hides to start and I can’t blame him for it. It’s smart if nothing else. Rock destroys them both to start us off. He even puts the crown on the head of Shane and then punches him, freaking Lawler out. This show needs to end. In a funny bit, HHH does Shane’s foot shuffle and looks like he’s about to destroy every muscle in his legs.
Rock of course dances as well to make it a threesome. Oh dear. I love JR freaking out over so many little things and saying how much they’re cheating. There just isn’t much to say about this match as there is no drama at all, which is the universal problem that comes up in all of the European shows.
Nothing major ever happens at them and this is no exception. JR says HHH needs to calm down or he’ll get thrown out of the match and then saves himself by saying that would be the referee’s discretion. HHH hooks a long chinlock as we’re killing time like it’s a colony of ants at a picnic. JR: I would say Vince is here for moral support but that would be inaccurate. Yeah I know. That’s why you just said it. Little mistakes like that crack me up.
The other two finally fight it out as we go into the old and traditional formula for these matches. Why mess with what works? Stephanie distracts the referee so Rock’s pin isn’t seen off a DDT to Shane. The referee proves to be a complete idiot by seeing Rock try to counter Shane’s Pedigree, seeing Rock counter Shane’s Pedigree, seeing Rock setting for a slingshot, seeing the slingshot being executed, and STILL managing to get crushed by it. You fail at like Chioda. You just do.
HHH pops Rock with the belt and there’s no referee. Gerald Brisco comes out as the second referee but only gets two. I think that’s what happened at least. The insurmountable odds are piling up way too high. Shane pops HHH with a chair by accident and that brings in Vince.
Rock kicks out of a Pedigree and down goes Brisco. There’s the second Pedigree. ROCK IS DONE RIGHT? It’s EARL HEBNER for the save. Let’s see that’s I believe four interferences and two weapons so far. This is perfectly reasonable right? Vince takes the Rock Bottom and Shane takes the spinebuster and elbow for the pin.
Rating: B-. Fun but WAY overbooked. This just got insane towards the end and it was nearly impossible to keep track of what was going on. I get that there has to be some interference or whatever, but DANG man do you think you did enough? Brisco could have been left out and it would have helped a lot. It was entertaining though and that’s really all that mattered. Decent enough though, but a less cluttered match would have helped a lot.
Overall Rating: D+. There have been worse European shows but this wasn’t very good at all. The main event is fun and Eddie vs. Jericho is good, but other than that there’s nothing here that hasn’t been done 1000x better on more important shows. That’s what these always come down to: it’s been done and it’s been done better. This isn’t terrible though, but there’s nothing here worth sitting down and watching.
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