Impact Wrestling – July 5, 2018: Beautiful Ortiz And Sweet Santana Make Things Better
IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 5, 2018
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis
We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and things are starting to take shape. The stories around here are getting better but they still don’t have that one big blow away idea that could get them some staying power. That’s been the case for a long time though and unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a recap of last week’s show in rapid fashion.
Opening sequence.
Rich Swann vs. Fenix
This could be good. Feeling out process to start with Swann doing about eight nipups in a row to get out of a wristlock. That’s fine with Fenix who bounces on the top rope to send Swann outside. You wouldn’t be able to do that. The fans chant for both these guys as they miss kicks and trade forearms for a standoff. Swann gets kicked to the floor but avoids a dive, setting up a dropkick off the apron to put Fenix down.
Back in and Fenix gets caught on top, banging up his knee in the process. The knee is fine enough to moonsault into an armdrag though as these two just don’t stop. There’s the big flip dive to the floor but Fenix misses a moonsault back inside. Of course he keeps backflipping though and cutters Swann for another close two.
Fenix’s Lethal Injection is countered with Swann standing on his hands (of course) so Fenix has to try it again, this time connecting for a double knockdown. Back from a break with a chop off until Swann gets two off a fisherman’s buster and a middle rope 450. Fenix is right back with an over the shoulder sitout Tombstone for two of his own, followed by a Muscle Buster spinning into a driver for the pin at 13:30.
Rating: B. Well that was awesome. They didn’t try to do anything else here other than taking two high fliers and have them throw out one cool move after another. Fenix is as good as anyone right now and Swann could hang with him, making this a very entertaining match. The four way at Slammiversary should be a blast.
Post match OVE runs in to beat Fenix down but Pentagon makes the save. Fenix is helped up but Pentagon turns on him, only to unmask as Sami Callihan. Swann tries to make a save but gets caught in the numbers game. Cue the real Pentagon for the save and a big flip dive. That probably sets up a six man and I could go for that as Pentagon is looking more and more like a superstar every week.
The announcers preview the rest of the show.
KM shouts an apology to Fallah Bahh and promises to prove his loyalty tonight.
Allie and Madison Rayne are ready to face the monster Su Yung and her undead bridesmaid. Allie knows you need light and darkness and Yung brought out another side of her.
Killer Kross vs. Fallah Bahh
This better be a squash. Bahh can’t run him over to start and Kross drives him into the corner without much effort. A running splash in the corner and a bunch of chops are no sold and Kross hits a running clothesline of his own. Some shots to the head rock Bahh and a Saito suplex puts Bahh down. A standing choke knocks Bahh cold for the win at 2:27.
Post match Kross stays on him but KM comes in for the save. That earns him a beating too so Petey Williams runs down with a chair. Two shots to the back have no effect so he pelts the chair at Kross’ head to knock him outside. I’d call it a stretch to put Bahh out there as Kross’ first opponent (and Kross didn’t really have any impressive offense aside from the suplex) but a character like this shouldn’t be selling anything for a long time. Williams is now next on the list, but him being able to knock Kross outside should have taken a few weeks, not on the first night.
Jimmy Jacobs says he’s ready to send Kongo Kong after Brian Cage because Kong has beaten everyone he’s gone against. Cage is the bad guy who snapped when he lost his first match, but Kong is just doing what a monster does. Jacobs wants Cage to lose and because he’s a princess, he gets everything that he wants.
Clip of Rob Van Dam vs. Sting from Slammiversary 2010.
The Desi Hit Squad is excited for their win but Gama Singh comes in to say follow his instruction if they want to become World Champions. It’s all about bringing honor to India. As it always is.
A silhouetted woman is coming.
Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor vs. Allie/Madison Rayne
The fight starts early with Rayne and Allie hitting stereo Thesz presses. Allie sends the Maid into the corner to start and gets two off a Russian legsweep. Yung comes in for a side slam/sliding neckbreaker combination but Allie crawls over for the tag to Rayne. Everything breaks down and the Chance of Rayne (A cutter. Just because her name is Rayne doesn’t mean every one of her big moves has to be a rain pun.) drops Yung.
It’s not even good for a cover as Yung gets up and tries the Panic Switch, which bumps the referee. Rayne hits Cross Rayne (What does that even mean?) but Tessa Blanchard runs in to jump her from behind. Blanchard beats her down while Allie fights with the bridesmaids. The hammerlock DDT is broken up by Allie and another Cross Rayne ends the Maid at 6:04.
Rating: D+. Not the worst here and I like Yung having her own minions instead of tagging with one of the other Knockouts. It doesn’t make sense to have her suddenly be friendly with everyone so the Maid was a good idea. Blanchard running in makes enough sense, but having interference and a ref bump along with all the other minions at ringside was a lot for a six minute match.
Konnan says he has proof of who attacked him and LAX is nervous. King wants to see the proof and gets very defensive about it.
Singh trains the Hit Squad in the rain.
OVE, with Sami in Pentagon’s mask, speaks high school Spanish before yelling about Pentagon ruining everything. The six man is set for next week.
Austin Aries talks about wanting to be a wrestler growing up and paying a lot of dues. That’s different than Moose, who was an NFL player who was handed everything and then got a pass into wrestling because he was an athlete somewhere else. Aries doesn’t need a coach to make a game plan for him. After Slammiversary, Moose will be lucky to make the XFL. Now that’s taking it too far.
Konnan is on the phone and says he’s exposing the fake King for what he is.
A bloody Tommy Dreamer rants about Eddie Edwards throwing everything away because of an obsession. He doesn’t want to see Eddie go down that path and be right about everything. Of course he isn’t sleeping with Eddie’s wife because she’s 25 years old and look at Dreamer. Now it’s Dreamer who is obsessed with Eddie.
The House of Hardcore rules match is set for Slammiversary.
The announcers run down some of Slammiversary’s card and next week’s show.
Katarina vs. Rebel
Grado is out with Katarina, hopefully meaning he doesn’t talk. They trade some rollups to start until a headscissors sends Rebel into the corner. Rebel scores with a flapjack and a torture rack drop (which looked weird as Katarina is so tall) but gets caught in a sloppy tornado DDT. A Rock Bottom backbreaker ends Rebel at 3:05.
Rating: D. I don’t know if it was just Rebel not being very good or Katarina being rusty but this didn’t do much for me. They weren’t exactly looking polished out there and both of them botched more than one move. Thankfully they kept it short, but this didn’t exactly inspire me on either one of them.
Post match Grado does the Shawn Michaels pose in front of Katarina. I didn’t find the goofy guy with the beautiful girlfriend trope funny when Santino Marella did it so many times and I don’t find it funny here.
Post break Grado and Katarina are in the back when Katarina says she has a surprise for him. Joe Hendry, a Scottish wrestler, comes in and sings about how he makes things better in Impact. That could be interesting, especially if it splits up Grado and Katarina.
Kongo Kong vs. Brian Cage
Kong wins an exchange of shoulders so Cage hurricanranas him to the floor, followed by a big no hands flip dive. Or as Callis describes it, “WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT???” Back in and Kong counters a powerbomb with a hurricanrana out of the corner of his own. A World’s Strongest Slam drops Kong again and there’s a 619 just because he can. Cage gets two off a German suplex but Kong’s chokeslam is good for the same. Kong goes up but Cage catches him in a top rope superplex to shake the ring. An F5 gives Cage the pin at 5:05.
Rating: C. This was every Cage/Kong match I’ve seen since their debuts: Cage does things that no human being should be able to do and Kong makes me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. The hurricanrana was more Kong falling backwards than anything athletic and it doesn’t make up for all the horrible stuff he does, not even counting his overall terrible look. Cage is an attraction, Kong is a disaster, as always.
Here’s Konnan to offer his evidence. First though he calls out King, who Konnan says put a hit out on him. Konnan was the one who bailed King out of a lot of trouble, including possible domestic violence. King wants the proof so here it is: those calls that King said Konnan made to give him orders from the hospital never happened. King is exactly what he used to be: a talking glory hole. Fans: “GLORY HOLE!” Josh: “It’s trending on Twitter.”
King admits that he did it because Konnan’s time is over. Konnan needs to leave before he gets shot in the back of the head like Old Yeller. Santana and Ortiz are told to pick their side and they flip King off. Konnan says King didn’t get the job done but he says he did. Cue Homicide and Hernandez to beat down Konnan, Santana and Ortiz, doing their best Paul Heyman/Randy Rose/Dennis Condrey pose to end the show. I liked this a lot and while it’s copying the Midnight Express angle from 1988, it was a great angle and took place thirty years ago. If this is anywhere near as good, they’re in outstanding shape.
Overall Rating: C+. A good match to start and a hot angle to finish it are more than enough to make this show work. There are still a bunch of issues to resolve (Kross not flattening a normal sized opponent is up there) but the World Title feud is heating up, despite the wrestlers not actually being in the same place, and the pay per view looks good. I’m actually digging the show right now and if that continues, they’re heading in the right direction.
Results
Fenix b. Rich Swann – Muscle Buster driver
Killer Kross b. Fallah Bahh – Choke
Madison Rayne/Allie b. Su Yung/Undead Maid of Honor – Cross Rayne to Maid
Katarina b. Rebel – Rock Bottom backbreaker
Brian Cage b. Kongo Kong – F5
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