December To Dismember (2016 Redo): It’s Old And That Doesn’t Make Things Much Better
IMG Credit: WWE
I forgot I had redone this and it really, really needed it.
December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz
Naturally the opening video focuses on the Chamber and how amazing it is that there are WEAPONS in the pods now.
MNM vs. Hardy Boyz
The Hardys hit stereo superplexes but Melina gets on the apron for a distraction, only to get kicked down by Nitro by mistake. The Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) gets two on Jeff with Matt making the save, followed by a double cutter off the middle rope to drop Nitro and Mercury at the same time. The Swanton onto both of them at the same time gives Jeff the pin at 22:23.
Rob Van Dam thinks the ECW World Title is worth the risks of the Elimination Chamber.
Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney
Sabu has been attacked and is put on a stretcher. The BS chant drowns out the medics and the next theme music.
Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay vs. FBI
Terkay lays Guido out post match.
Sabu is taken away in an ambulance.
Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer
Paul Heyman has found a replacement for Sabu: Hardcore Holly. The audience audibly groans. Not boos, not yells, not shouts, but groans in pure disappointment. That should not be happening on a wrestling show but can you blame them?
Mike Knox/Kelly Kelly vs. Kevin Thorn/Ariel
Kevin charges into a boot for two and Knox slowly pounds away before grabbing a front facelock. The hold is driven back into the corner for the tag to Ariel, meaning Kelly has to come in as well. Aries chokes a lot including a boot version in the corner which is nothing more than an excuse for an upskirt shot. It would be even better if Kelly actually sold any of this. Knox walks away instead of tagging in, leaving Kelly to take a choke legsweep for the pin at 7:43.
Post match Ariel keeps choking Kelly until Sandman (ECW legend) comes out for the save.
We recap the main event, which as usual is basically just a video about the Chamber and people talking about how extreme the match will be.
The Chamber is lowered.
ECW World Title: Hardcore Holly vs. Test vs. CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Lashley vs. Big Show
A quick celebration takes us out after less than two hours and fifteen minutes on the air.
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