Main Event – April 4, 2019: Just Get To Wrestlemania

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: April 4, 2019
Location: Capital One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Percy Watson, Renee Young

This one (and the next one) got lost in the Wrestlemania shuffle so I’m a few weeks late in getting them up. The Network posts it two and a half weeks after it originally airs so I’ll have to take what I can get. The recaps might be a bit more interesting here as there has been some pretty significant time since this show took place. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

No Way Jose vs. Tyler Breeze

Breeze has cut off his hair and the visual isn’t the best, though it’s still better than Jose’s green hair. Jose shoves off a headlock to put Breeze in the corner so it’s a superkick to his dancing ribs. The chinlock goes on and Breeze cuts off the comeback with a belly to back suplex. A front facelock doesn’t work as well as Jose shoves him off for a crash and they’re both down. Breeze gets in an enziguri but Jose fires off a heck of a clothesline for two. Since it worked before, Breeze goes with another enziguri to set up the Unprettier, which is countered into the pop up right hand to give Jose the pin at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This was a battle of the overlooked talents who have diminished themselves with bad hair choices. It’s also a match that we’ve probably seen half a dozen times at this point and that’s not something that I need to see again. You would think they could mix up the Main Event matches a bit with Wrestlemania upon us but apparently that’s too much to ask.

Video on the Women’s Title match now being Winner Take All.

From Raw.

Riott Squad vs. Ronda Rousey/Charlotte/Becky Lynch

Whoever betrays their partners first is out of Sunday’s main event. Before her entrance, Becky says she doesn’t want to hear from the loudmouth Charlotte or from Rousey with her God complex. Ronda and Charlotte talk about wanting to make history but Becky has to. Charlotte and Ruby start things off but Becky tags herself in and mocks the strut.

She even begs Charlotte to slap her in the face before sending Ruby outside as we take an early break. Back with Becky having to fight out of Logan’s standing Texas Cloverleaf and suplexing Morgan for two. Charlotte tags herself in and argues with Becky but Ronda tags herself in as well to yell at Charlotte as well. The armbar makes Morgan tap at 7:20.

Rating: D+. Angle advancement here as it should be as the Riott Squad loses AGAIN because that’s the only reason they exist. The women’s division needs to figure out how to use jobbers again because they don’t have the roster depth to make something like this work. It’s not like this means anything anyway, but how many times can the Squad lose before it loses all meaning?

Post match the fight is on until security breaks it up. That goes nowhere so here are the cops, with Ronda hitting one of them. That’s enough for an arrest but Becky attacks the cuffed Rousey. Becky is arrested as well so Charlotte goes after Becky and the Wrestlemania main event is all in handcuffs. They all kick at the cops’ legs as I have no idea what this is supposed to accomplish.

They’re all taken to police cars with Ronda and Becky in the same one so another fight breaks out with the window being kicked out. Charlotte gets in one more knee to Ronda’s head before the car is taken away. This was intense, but seeing the three of them in handcuffs and fighting each other felt like a rejected scene from a bad B movie rather than an effective wrestling angle. Just go with the classic locker room holding them back instead of going so far over the top with it.

From Smackdown.

It’s time for the contract signing between Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston. Bryan and Rowan are already in the ring as New Day come out, complete with pancakes. The fans’ KOFI chants are shushed by Bryan because he’s here to educate the masses. The fans need to stop thinking that a few months of success make up for eleven years. Their life lesson: DO NOT BE COMPLACENT. Also, don’t be a bystander in your own lives like Kofi has been doing.

He’s sat and watched while New Day pushed him to the top. The Kofi chants keep going as Bryan rants his final lesson: don’t mistake a fad for reality. Bryan has been where Kofi is now but with YES chants instead of KOFI chants. The reality is that the people feed off of him because they are parasites. Bryan wants Kofi to soak this in because it’s as good as it’s ever going to get. Kofi grabs the mic and says it’s time to educate Bryan. He can claim to know what Kofi is feeling but it’s become clear that Bryan knows nothing about him.

Kofi watched Bryan become champion in two years but not as a bystander. Bryan hasn’t been through eleven years with no singles title matches because it’s all led here. Kofi sees Bryan trembling because Bryan knows Kofi is ready. The one common thread is that Bryan knows what Kofi is feeling and knows what’s coming. At Wrestlemania, Kofi becomes WWE Champion. Kofi signs and we’re set. Kofi sounded nervous, but the fire was there and that’s what mattered.

Video on Kurt Angle’s career. That’s the kind of tribute he deserves because he really was that awesome.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Lucha House Party vs. Ascension

Lince Dorado is the odd luchador out so Konnor hits the floor to yell at him. Back in and Kalisto hits the dropkick to the knee but Konnor nips up (that’s a new one). It’s off to Metalik for the rope walk dropkick to Viktor but the referee gets distracted, allowing Konnor to break up another springboard. We take a break and come back with Metalik in trouble as Viktor grabs a chinlock.

Since no one has ever done it before, Viktor mocks the Lucha Dance and hands it back to Viktor for an elbow to the back. Metalik fights out of a slam and counters into a DDT for the hot tag to Kalisto. The rolling kick to the head hits Viktor and there’s the hurricanrana driver for two. Everything breaks down and Kalisto seems to slip off a handspring but catches his balance fast enough to kick Konnor in the head. With Viktor down on the floor, it’s the Salida Del Sol into Kalisto’s rope walk elbow for the pin at 9:35.

Rating: D+. Another match we’ve seen time after time though at least the Lucha guys are always entertaining in one way or another. The Ascension on the other hand isn’t the best idea in the world because there’s no reason to believe they’re never going to win anything. Still though, not the worst.

From Raw.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman does his introduction (Heyman: “Don’t worry I’ll be doing this again next week too.”) before talking about how appropriate the Winner Takes All stipulation is because it’s the same thing for Lesnar. Brock is going to win and take it all, including Seth Rollins’ best shot. Lesnar took the Undertaker’s Streak and then last year he took the hopes and dreams from Roman Reigns when EVERYONE knew that Reigns was going to win.

This Sunday is for the fans who watch hockey for the fights, the fans who watch NASCAR for the crashes and the fans who watch soccer for the riots. On Sunday, Lesnar will have his foot on Rollins’ chest and then the two of them will go out to dinner to discuss Lesnar’s future. This brings out Rollins, who says Sunday is the biggest match for both of their careers because everyone from the fans to the locker room is sick of Brock.

Yeah Lesnar has made a fortune because he’s such an athletic freak and the most decorated athlete in combat sports history (not really) but Rollins could win. Lesnar goes to leave but Rollins kicks him low. That earns him a release German suplex but Rollins goes low again and hits the Stomp to leave Lesnar laying. I love that the only way to really hurt Lesnar is a low blow and no one really tries to do anything else.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not sure on this one, as they did a nice job of setting up the show but the show is so bloated and weak looking (because of the size) that it’s not the most interesting thing in the world. The original wrestling might as well have been cut out for the sake of more build videos, which would have been a better move for something like this. Not bad, but get to Wrestlemania already.

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