Smackdown – June 11, 2019: In Need Of A Summer Vacation

Smackdown
Date: June 11, 2019
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re back stateside and already rushing towards Stomping Grounds, where Dolph Ziggler will be getting another World Title shot at Kofi Kingston because when you think excitement, you think Dolph Ziggler. Other than that, we have the return of the full New Day lineup, which definitely didn’t warrant a bigger amount of hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Miz to host MizTV, but he’s doing it against his will this time. See, he’s been given a script (oh give me a break) to read and that means introducing the “Pest In The World”, Shane McMahon. Shane has Elias and Drew Galloway with him, but first we need a highlight reel of Shane vs. Roman Reigns from Super ShowDown. After Shane has Greg Hamilton do the intro again, Shane introduces Elias as the musical guest and has him play a little bit.

The fans tell Shane that he sucks, which he says must be about Miz. We hear about Miz beating Shane around the stadium at Wrestlemania but then losing in the end, along with losing the rematch because Shane is that awesome. Shane shows a clip of Reigns’ post match interview at Super ShowDown where he says he’ll move on to McIntyre, who he knows very well. McIntyre says he’s a weapon that no one else has and it’s called the Claymore.

At Stomping Grounds, he’s going to kick Reigns’ head off. Miz says McIntyre is a star but unfortunately he’s Shane’s lackey. Just look at what Shane did to Miz and then think about what Shane could do to McIntyre. Shane laughs it off and says he’s 3-0 against Miz and Reigns. Miz says Shane won the lottery and the only reason he’s anything is because of his family. On the other hand, Miz was born into a genetic cesspool along with a man who looks like a baked potato. Shane is ready to fight right now but Drew takes his jacket off. Miz can face Shane….if he beats Elias and then McIntyre first. Let’s start that off right now.

So not only was this a big recap of Super ShowDown, Raw, and Miz vs. Shane, but also it took the first eighth of the show to set up the big match of the night, which will somehow likely involved Shane. Yes, you really are expected to want to watch this and stick around for the show. Oh and no, they don’t get the irony of their HILARIOUS commentary of having Miz use a script.

Miz vs. Elias

Joined in progress with Miz in trouble and Elias hitting an Old School Meteora. Miz comes back with the kicks in the corner but Elias knees him in the face for two. Drift Away is broken up so Elias goes with a sitout powerbomb for two more instead. Elias misses a top rope elbow though and the Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin at 2:33.

Miz vs. Drew McIntyre

Joined in progress again with Miz in trouble again but Miz sends him shoulder first into the post to get a breather. Back in and McIntyre gets caught with a DDT but Shane offers a distraction. That means the Glasgow Kiss into the Claymore to give Drew the pin at 2:08.

And hang on though as Shane says he’ll fight Miz anyway.

The Miz vs. Shane McMahon

Shane hammers away but Miz comes back with the left hands, only to have the Finale broken up. The triangle goes on and Miz taps at 44 seconds. So yes, we’re supposed to buy that Miz, who fought less than ten minutes total, can be beaten by Shane in less than a minute. Oh and make sure to cheer for Miz when he’s going after the US Title on Monday.

Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville come up to Ember Moon in the back and hand her some more copies of Muscle and Fitness. Ember isn’t happy about what they did to Carmella last week so they slap her tablet out of her hands. The two of them leave and Ember yells and throws a trashcan.

Tag Team Titles: Daniel Bryan/Rowan vs. AJ Kirsh/Dave Dutra

This is actually a unification match as Kirsh (a Tough Enough alumni who has been on Steve Austin’s podcast several times and is the host of Hood Slam’s events) and Dutra are the Yolo County Tag Team Champions, complete with homemade cardboard belts. Hang on though as here’s Heavy Machinery to say that their challenge has been turned down because Bryan and Rowan are elitist snobs. Bryan says no because Heavy Machinery hasn’t proven themselves, though they can right now by taking their place.

Heavy Machinery vs. AJ Kirsh/Dave Dutra

Non-title and it’s an early knockdown to Dutra, setting up the Caterpillar. The Compactor gives Heavy Machinery the pin at 1:03.

Carmella and R-Truth are here with Truth explaining everything he’s been through, including regaining the 24/7 Title at 47,000 feet (Celsius). Someone comes by so Truth hides in an anvil case. Carmella can’t get him out though and has to go have her match. She leaves as Jinder Mahal shows up and hears Truth shouting. He impersonates Carmella and promises to be right back with a crowbar.

Sonya Deville vs. Carmella

Mandy is here with Sonya. Carmella runs her over to start but gets sent to the apron for some knees to the ribs. We hit the bodyscissors on Carmella, followed by a running knee to the chest for two. Carmella comes back with the Code of Silence but Mandy puts the foot on the ropes. The chase is on and Sonya grabs a rollup for two, only to be sent outside. A suicide dive takes both villains down and there’s a superkick to Mandy. Back in and Sonya knees Carmella in the face for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D. Fire and Desire are better than some tag teams (though they can’t come near the Tag Team Titles because that’s not in their scripts and therefore they don’t think about them) and this kind of thing is fine for them. You can pencil in the two of them facing Ember/Carmella next week in a similar match, though at least there’s something of a story there.

Alexa Bliss is in the back when Nikki Cross comes in. Bliss tells Nikki that people on social media aren’t happy with her, especially Bayley. It’s so bad that Bliss has already blocked Bayley so Nikki can’t even see any of it. Don’t worry though, because Nikki can get revenge on Bayley when she faces her tonight. Just make sure to think of Bayley during the match and don’t hold back. Nikki gets it.

Here’s New Day for a chat, but first we need to take a break, just in case the fans have too much energy with one of the most popular acts in the company you see. Kofi and Xavier are glad Big E. is back. Big E. talks about how if he had a title reign for every time he tried to come back, he’d be Charlotte Flair. Kofi: “That’s a booking joke!” Xavier: “Let’s get down to business!” (sung to the tune of I’ll Make A Man Out Of You from Mulan).

Woods needs to get their match over fast tonight so he can get back to E3 so let’s hear about Kofi beating Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens and Dolph Ziggler in three straight matches. He’ll do it again at Stomping Grounds in a steel cage but here’s Ziggler to disagree. Ziggler shows a clip of Woods kicking him in the head at Super ShowDown but that won’t be the case at Stomping Grounds.

They’ll be locked in a cage and there will be no interference, where Ziggler can prove that Kofi can’t beat him alone. Kofi talks about Ziggler kicking Woods first but here are Owens and Zayn to cut them off. Sami talks about how the two of them fight for justice. See, if Sami had kicked Kofi in the face and cost him the title, the fans would have freaked out. But they’re ok with Woods interfering and costing Ziggler the match?

They’re here to right the wrongs and if they get to beat up New Day at the same time, so be it. Big E. enjoyed seeing Seth Rollins wear Sami out with a chair last night but Sami calls the fans hypocrites again. Ziggler says this title reign is a fraud but Big E. cuts him off to say this title reign is about a man walking through fire to prove he’s the best. Kofi promises to retain the title at Stomping Grounds, meaning it’s time for some hip swiveling. This was about fifteen minutes of talking to advance absolutely nothing.

Bayley has no response to Bliss’ comments, but Bliss better be watching tonight.

Aleister Black is still waiting on someone to pick a fight with him. They can fight over anything really. He asks someone to open the door and shouts that THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN. WILL SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, PICK A FIGHT WITH HIM???

Bayley vs. Nikki Cross

Non-title and a match that totally couldn’t have taken place last night on Raw instead of the tag match where Bayley lost in her hometown. Bliss is here with Cross. Bayley wastes no time in kicking her to the floor and hits the dropkick under the corner for two back inside. Nikki catches her in the ring skirt and hammers away as we take a break. Back with Bayley tied in the Tree of Woe but slipping out to hit a Stunner over the middle rope. A running knee in the corner rocks Nikki and a forward roll into a splash gives Bayley two. The top rope elbow gives Bayley the pin at 5:35.

Rating: D+. I’ll spare you the rant about how Bayley could have done this exact same match last night and avoided a bunch of annoyances. The match was fine enough, but my goodness what have they done to Nikki? I’m hopeful that they’ll have her snap back into her old self on Bliss, but knowing WWE, they find this version more interesting. You know, by taking away everything that made her interesting.

Mahal can’t find the case because it’s been sent to Los Angeles. Carmella shows up and is distraught.

Firefly Fun House, featuring animal murder.

Apollo Crews isn’t happy with Andrade jumping him before their match last week. Zelina Vega comes in to say that Apollo shouldn’t talk about Andrade because he’ll deal with Apollo later. Chad Gable is next to Apollo and taking notes.

New Day vs. Dolph Ziggler/Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

Woods and Ziggler start things off with Ziggler taking him to the mat and handing it off to Sami for an armbar. Sami gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede but Kofi gets sent outside so Ziggler can get in a cheap shot. Owens adds a backsplash on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Kofi fighting out of Ziggler’s Crossface and dropkicking Sami down so Woods can come in off the hot tag. A discus forearm has Sami in trouble and a dropkick through the ropes hit Sami and Ziggler. Back in and Ziggler takes Xavier down into a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by Sami getting in a chinlock of his own. Owens comes in and gets DDT’d, allowing the real hot tag off to Big E. That means a bunch of suplexes but the Midnight Hour is broken up. Ziggler superkicks Sami by mistake, setting up Trouble in Paradise to Ziggler and another to finish Sami at 13:31.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. This was “hey Big E. is back” and nothing more as he just got to do the big house cleaning spot at the end and that’s about it. I don’t know how this makes me want to see Ziggler vs. Kingston any more, but there is a good chance that Sami/Owens vs. Big E./Woods will be added to Stomping Grounds, which needs some more matches to round out the card.

Overall Rating: D+. That missing hour is a big help, but my goodness did they really not have anything else to throw out here? Two stories took up half the show with Shane and company plus the main event story getting half an hour apiece. Both shows continue to feel like they’re running on fumes, though they never had the big exhausting moment to get them into that place to begin with.

A few weeks off sounds like a great idea, but there’s no time because in just over a month we’ll have done Stomping Grounds and Extreme Rules. I’m almost scared to see how much mileage they’ll try to get out of these stories, but would it really shock you to see them going through Extreme Rules and then tying into Summerslam? Another uninspired effort this week, as Shane continues to be the most dominant force in years.

Results

The Miz b. Elias – Skull Crushing Finale

Drew McIntyre b. The Miz – Claymore

Shane McMahon b. The Miz – Triangle choke

Heavy Machinery b. AJ Kirsh/Dave Dutra – Compactor to Dutra

Sonya Deville b. Carmella – Running knee

Bayley b. Nikki Cross – Top rope elbow

New Day b. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn/Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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