Monday Night Raw – July 16, 2007: The Time Machine Show
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2007
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This was a request and one of several shows I’ve been asked to do from this era. It’s one of the times that I don’t remember very well whatsoever, which is always a fun thing to see. We’re less than a month removed from the Chris Benoit tragedy and that means things have kind of reset a bit. This is the go home show for the Great American Bash so we’ll get some buildup for a not very important pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
HHH’s (who has been gone since January due to a torn quad) music starts us off but it’s King Booker and Queen Sharmell instead. There is one king around here and that is of course King Booker. Oh sorry. King Book-ah. However, there is someone who seems interested in a claim to the crown, which brings Booker to Lawler. Since Book-ah is the real king, Lawler must cease referring to himself as such. Lawler isn’t buying that as, you know, he’s been the King for thirty years.
That’s not cool with Booker, because a kingdom divided cannon stand. Lawler finally gives in and says he won’t call himself the King anymore, but Booker wants him to kiss the ring. Shockingly enough, that’s not happening so Booker orders Lawler. That’s enough to get Lawler to his feet so Book-ah punches him in the face, only to have Lawler get in a few shots of his own as we’re likely to have a match tonight. Nice segment, with Booker logically being annoyed at another king.
Ric Flair picks John Cena to beat Bobby Lashley at the Great American Bash. This seems to be a theme tonight.
Lawler looks ready to fight.
We look back at Umaga destroying Santino Marella last week to retain the Intercontinental Title.
Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Santino Marella vs. William Regal
Elimination rules with the winner getting a shot at Umaga on Sunday. Charlie Haas is here with Shelton. This is before Santino had become a comedy goof so he’s just a boring guy in trunks at the moment. Santino and Regal fight to the floor with Jeff fighting out of the corner until stereo crossbodies put he and Shelton down. Regal and Marella get back in with Santino punching Shelton down until Regal hits the knee trembler to get rid of Santino for the first elimination.
Jeff hammers on Regal in the corner but gets caught with an electric chair from Shelton. We take a break and come back with Jeff getting double suplexed, leaving Regal and Benjamin to argue over the pin. In an elimination match because they’re not that bright. Regal throws Benjamin down with a suplex and drops a knee on Jeff for two. A collision out of the corner puts Regal and Benjamin down so Jeff is back up to some VERY high pitched cheers. Benjamin gets kicked to the floor but Jeff misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The knee trembler misses Jeff though and it’s a Twist of Fate to get us down to two.
Benjamin is right back in with a top rope Blockbuster for two and the fans are rather pleased on the kickout. A Whisper in the Wind sends Shelton outside and Jeff dives onto Haas and Benjamin. The Swanton misses though because Jeff can’t keep the momentum going for that long. Shelton loads up a piledriver but gets rolled up to give Jeff the pin and the title shot.
Rating: C. Hardy was the only realistic winner here and a match against the monster should be a good moment. This just felt a little more energized than most modern matches and that made for a nice opener. The ans were completely behind Hardy here and it’s easy to see why he was going to get the rocket attached to his back very soon.
Edge isn’t sure on Cena vs. Lashley because he has no history with Lashley. He has history with Cena and can’t stand him, but he knows how tough Cena is. Cena retains.
Randy Orton has challenged Cody Rhodes to a match tonight and it’s time to kill a legend before it starts (Cody only debuted earlier in the month and hasn’t actually wrestled yet). Vince McMahon would agree these days. Orton is ready to destroy Dusty Rhodes on Sunday and wants him out there tonight for a preview.
Maria tries to make Santino feel better because he’s not a loser. Santino talks about watching Transformers and thinks he feels like he doesn’t belong here. Then she makes him feel better. Come spend the night with him and he’ll make her pancakes in the morning. She’s good with that.
Batista can’t decide but goes with Lashley. The fans are the winners though.
The bald Snitsky likes to hurt people as much as he likes to win matches. It’s weird but he can’t help himself. His opponents’ pain is his pleasure.
Snitsky vs. Val Venis
Val still had a job in 2007??? Venis gets a boot up in the corner to start but gets sent chest first into the buckle to put him in trouble. The pumphandle slam finishes Val in a hurry.
Post match Val gives him a second pumphandle slam. Commentary focusing on Snitsky’s bad teeth show you how far he’s going to go.
Cody is ready for his in-ring debut but knows he can never be a bigger star than his dad. You can’t RKO away Dusty’s legacy but as for tonight, Cody is going to make a first impression.
Lawler is in the ring with a bull rope for a preview of Orton vs. Dusty in Sunday’s Texas Bull rope match. The rules are explained with Lawler talking about how many horrible, violent things he’s seen Dusty do in these matches over the years. And then Orton comes out for his match.
Video on Orton being a psycho and punting various people in the head.
Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
This is Cody’s in-ring debut, which is almost hard to fathom. Dusty is out with Cody, as he should be. Cody gets in a left hand to the jaw to start but gets clotheslined down as the beating begins. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and Dusty is looking rather concerned, as he should.
The comeback is cut off by a snap powerslam and some forearms to the chest make it even worse. Orton grabs the chinlock for a bit until Cody fights up with right hands and a missile dropkick for two. That’s it again though as Orton grabs the backbreaker and Dusty’s emotional roller coaster continues. The RKO connects to finally put Cody away.
Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as Cody wasn’t going to be any kind of threat. What kept my attention here was Dusty, who worked the crowd into a near frenzy, just by going through every possible emotion in a seven minute match. The look on his face when Cody was making his comeback and then getting the near fall sold the whole thing, because Dusty can sell you anything he wants without breaking a sweat. Not a good match, but great emotion.
Post match Orton loads up the Punt but Dusty breaks it up.
Steve Austin picks Cena but really isn’t sure.
Melina vs. Mickie James
Melina has newcomer Beth Phoenix, who I almost didn’t recognize, with her. Women’s Champion Candice Michelle, who Melina faces on Sunday, comes out to watch, much to Melina’s annoyance. Mickie grabs a rollup for an early two and hits a running basement dropkick to keep her in trouble. A Beth distraction lets Melina dropkick Mickie out of the air to take over…for all of ten seconds before Melina takes her down with a running faceplant. A spinning kick to the ribs drops Melina but Mickie has to kick Beth down, allowing Melina to hit her standing legdrop for the pin.
Rating: D+. The women’s division was trying at this point and this was one of the better matchups they had, but what can you do in about three minutes? Candice wasn’t the most intimidating champion so they weren’t building to much, but they were certainly trying to get somewhere at this point so points for giving it a shot.
Smackdown Rebound.
Regal comes in to see Jim Duggan to talk about Jonathan Coachman liking Duggan’s board. This turns into a series of jokes about hard things going into Regal’s hand. Ron Simmons comes in for the joke, which is still funny.
Mick Foley picks Lashley because Cena has to lose at some point.
Carlito vs. Sandman
2007 was weird as this is fallout from Sandman caning Carlito last week. Sandman works on a wristlock for the token wrestling so Carlito slugs him down. The neck crank goes on until Sandman comes back for a slam, only to have Regal come in for the DQ (as Sandman caned him last week as well).
Duggan makes the save, setting up a nightmare of a tag match that I need to see.
JBL picks Cena for the experience.
Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy
Rematch from two weeks ago when Kennedy ran his mouth too long and got pinned. Kennedy beat the fire out of him backstage last week to make himself feel better. Kennedy does his own entrance, while Super Crazy’s theme sums him up well: “I’M SUPER! I’M CRAZY! I’M SUPER CRAZY!”
An early shoulder puts Crazy down to start but he dropkicks the knee and hammers away in the corner. Kennedy punches him into the other corner and grabs an abdominal stretch to slow things down. With Lawler explaining that it hurts your abdominals, Crazy comes back with a slam and two of the three moonsaults. The third is broken up with a crotching though and a reverse superplex gives Kennedy the pin.
Rating: D. Well that was a big waste of a few weeks. Was there any need to have Kennedy deal with Super Crazy over the course of three weeks? Super Crazy was a jobber to the stars at best and that’s a lot less than what Kennedy should be doing. It was a nothing match too, as Kennedy won after shrugging off anything Crazy did. I don’t get this one and I think we’ll keep it that way.
Great American Bash rundown.
We look back at HHH tearing his quad in January. He’s coming back at Summerslam, apparently now as the Six Million Dollar Man (who was named Steve Austin on the show).
Coach is on the stage to moderate an in-ring podium debate between Cena and Lashley. Cena gets a very high pitched reaction. First up, we look at Cena getting speared during the recent contract signing. Cena is asked if he feels that his title reign is ending on Sunday, which is actually a year. It sounds like Cena is about to cry because that spear two weeks ago REALLY HURT. There’s no way he can win the match and the worst part is he never learned to read. Cena: “God bless America.”
That has to be a topical reference, though I get the “I award you no points” part. We get serious with Cena admitting that Lashley is more athletic than him, but he’s fought the best before. He’s won some and lost some but on Sunday, Lashley is getting Cena’s best. Lashley says if we want someone to hype the match, let Cena the hype man do it. He turns the podium over and says he’ll be ready to fight when Cena is done talking.
The fight is teased but Coach says this isn’t happening on his show. Lashley goes up the ramp but Cena says Lashley needs to be ready for the biggest match of his career. So he needs to get ready for Wrestlemania again? Cena knows that Lashley has a great resume and on Sunday he’ll put it to the test. Lashley comes back down and the fight is on to end the show. Good segment as they’re making Lashley feel like a real threat.
Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird look into the time capsule that was 2007. There were some rather strange characters and feuds in there, with stuff like Sandman, Super Crazy and Jim Duggan of all people getting TV time. Cena vs. Lashley felt like a one off match and while it felt big, it didn’t feel like it was going to be a game changed. The problem is that the Cena vs. Lashley stuff is just about the only good part of the entire show, which is from a completely forgotten time in the company’s history.
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