Smackdown – September 30, 2005 (2020 Redo): Slowly And Not So Surely
IMG Credit: WWE
Smackdown
Date: September 30, 2005
Location: Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re almost ready for No Mercy and most of the card is either set or all but set. That makes for a show that is all about getting fans to want to buy the pay per view, which is often the hardest part. Maybe it works out well here though, even if the show might not seem like the biggest deal. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Cole gives us a quick rundown of Laredo and its location near the border. I don’t think I need a geography lesson to open the show.
Here’s JBL, with an inner tube, a sombrero and a donkey as I think you know where this is going. After a bit of Spanish, JBL tells the fans to find someone with a green card, if they can. The fans chant at him so JBL threatens a big call to immigration before talking about going to meet Rey’s relatives. This includes inner tubing at night and jump starting “peek up” trucks. JBL says the back of the donkey reminds of everyone he sees here, which is why he had to be careful in selecting a partner.
Mr. Kennedy/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio/Hardcore Holly
Kennedy compares Tony Chimmel to the donkey on the way in. Rey does the Mexican hat dance around the sombrero before dropkicking Kennedy down for an early two. An inner tube shot to the back lets Kennedy take over and it’s JBL coming in. That earns him a DDT and a tag to Holly means more of a beating in the corner.
It’s already back to Mysterio vs. Kennedy with JBL breaking up a quick 619 attempt. The fall away slam sets up the bearhug until Rey bites his way out. After dispatching Kennedy, it’s off to Holly to pick the pace way up. A full nelson slam plants Kennedy and it’s the dropkick to JBL. The questionably low kick to the ribs drops JBL again but Kennedy grabs Holly, allowing the Clothesline From JBL to connect for the pin.
Rating: C-. Just a quick tag match to advance a pair of feuds and there is nothing wrong with that. JBL doing the anti-Mexico stuff is as JBL as you can get so I wouldn’t have expected anything else. Kennedy is growing on me in a hurry and I’m starting to see why he was as popular as he was for the time being.
Eddie is eating some Mexican food when Batista comes up and takes it away. Just looking out for his partner you see. Batista eats it anyway, making me want some Mexican food in the process.
Melina is in the parking lot when Christy Hemme rides up on a motorcycle (I’m not sure that’s the safest riding attire). They get in an argument and Melina breaks a nail, meaning a match is imminent.
Melina vs. Christy Hemme
MNM are at ringside. Christy sends her into the corner and tells Melina to watch her nail. That earns her a dropkick for two as Tazz rambles about Christy looking great on the motorcycle. An armbar has Christy in trouble until she makes it to the rope, only to have Melina drape the arm across said rope. Christy’s sunset flip out of the corner into a kick to the head lets Christy roll her up for two (with a rather suggestive form on the rollup). Mercury distracts the referee though, allowing Nitro to trip Christy for the pin.
Rating: D. If you’re getting pinned just because you call on your face, it might be time to stay out of the ring. This was every lackluster women’s match you would get around this time, but at least there wasn’t a ton of catfighting. They don’t seem to be trying to make this a bunch of serious women’s matches and given the current crop of talent, that’s best for everyone.
Post match Melina yells so Christy hits her in the face. MNM goes after her but Heidenreich and Animal make the save.
We look back at Undertaker popping out of the casket last week in a fairly effective segment.
Bob Orton vs. Undertaker
Before the match, Bob insists Randy won’t be around tonight so Bob can show no mercy. Never trust a cowboy. Bob snaps off a left hand to start and the glare sends him bailing to the floor. Back in and Undertaker doesn’t honor a timeout request and hammers away but the ref gets bumped early. That means the low blow so here’s Randy to jump Undertaker, because you can’t trust a cowboy.
The big beatdown is on, with Randy hammering away and sending Undertaker over the announcers’ table. They toss Undertaker over the top and back inside so Bob can get two, meaning it’s time for the pain. The ref gets bumped again so Randy can try the RKO….which is shoved away. The Tombstone finishes Bob before Randy can cheat again.
Rating: D. Bob was only 55 years old here so it’s not ridiculous to have him in a match where he actually has to work. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course as it’s all a way to show that Undertaker might be in trouble when Randy and Bob are allowed to wrestle at the same time. I’m not sure how good the casket match will be, but at least it should be a bit better than this.
Post break, here’s what you saw pre break.
We take a quick look at Bobby Lashley debuting and destroying Simon Dean last week.
Bobby Lashley vs. Russell Simpson
Simpson can’t wrestle him down or whip him in so Lashley drives the not so bright jobber into the corner. Some kicks to the leg slow Lashley down until it’s a backbreaker to drop Simpson. The Dominator gives Lashley the fast pin.
Post match here’s Simon Dean to offer Lashley a shake before their match at No Mercy. This goes as you would expect, with the shake being squashed and Dean being pressed out to the floor.
It’s time for the Peep Show. Before we get to our guest, Christian wants to know why there is no United States Title match at No Mercy. Chris Benoit has been on a roll as of late until he ran into Christian. That’s why he should get the title shot, but here are Booker T. and Sharmell to interfere. Sharmell says Christian asked Booker what he had done lately so Booker talks about pinning Christian last week.
This brings out Orlando Jordan to say he deserves a shot because it’s time for him to get his revenge on Benoit. Booker: “It took you longer to say that than it took Benoit to make you tap out.” Teddy Long comes out and says Benoit gets to choose the opponent but first of all, let’s have a triple threat match so everyone can showcase themselves.
Orlando Jordan vs. Christian vs. Booker T.
Joined in progress with Booker getting double teamed but he sends Christian to the floor and beats Jordan up. Everyone heads to the floor with Jordan being sent into the steps but Christian takes Booker down into a neck crank. Christian heads up top so Booker follows him, only to have Jordan come back in for the Tower of Doom. Booker is up first and beats on Christian, including loading up a catapult. Jordan rolls him up though, sending Christian over the top and grabbing the trunks to finish Booker.
Rating: D+. This Jordan stuff needs to stop in a hurry. The joke ran its course but he’s still here despite having no apparent reason to be there. Other than being there for the sake of filling in a spot, what other justification is there? Nothing match of course but that’s probably best for something with Jordan involved.
Post match Benoit comes out and says he’ll fight them off. Makes a lot more sense than another Jordan match.
Vince McMahon comes in to see Teddy and Palmer Cannon. After Palmer sucks up to him, Vince wants to know the Smackdown match for Homecoming. Teddy knows who will be involved, but not who is in it yet. Teddy had four days and couldn’t come up with a match involving three good guys and three bad guys?
Animal/Heidenreich are defending and Eddie’s stomach seems fine this week. The bell rings and we take a break about two seconds in for an Undertaker vs. Ortons ad. Back with Heidenreich throwing Eddie around and firing off rights and lefts in the corner. Eddie makes the mistake of punching Animal so it’s off to Batista for the big power showdown.
Animal kicks him down but misses an elbow and it’s already back to Eddie and Heidenreich. Eddie feigns stomach pain and gets in a low blow. That doesn’t last long though as Heidenreich knocks him down and puts on the chinlock. Animal’s powerslam gets two but Eddie hurricanranas his way out of a Doomsday Device. It’s off to Batista so house can be cleaned, including the Batista Bomb to Heidenreich. Animal makes the save but here’s MNM for the DQ.
Rating: C-. This was all about setting up the ending and thank goodness they didn’t change the titles. Eddie vs. Batista is interesting and having them go for the titles like this was fine, as long as they don’t actually win them. That’s a trope that needs to go far, far away and it’s quite the relief that they didn’t go that way this time around. Animal and Heidenreich do need to drop the belts, but not here.
MNM unloads on Batista and Eddie with chairs but Eddie takes one away, only to hit Batista by mistake (allegedly). Batista gets up and clears the ring, seemingly not knowing that Eddie hit him.
Overall Rating: D+. They’re in an interesting stretch here as Eddie vs. Batista is a feud where you have to wait and see what is really going on. That’s not normal for WWE and it’s nice to have a bit of a change. Other than that, Undertaker vs. the Ortons feels like it’s going to be going on beyond No Mercy and JBL vs. Mysterio only has so much potential. This show wasn’t great for the most part, but they do have a direction. I’m just not sure how good of a direction that is.
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