Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania VII (2015 Redo): You’re Crying Too
IMG Credit: WWE
Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
The opening video is just a quick look at Hogan vs. Slaughter.
Willie Nelson, complete with a replica WWF World Title belt, sings America the Beautiful.
Gorilla brings out Jim Duggan to do commentary on the first match. You know Duggan is happy to be on a show with a theme of Stars and Stripes.
Rockers vs. Barbarian/Haku
Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo
Rating: D-. Not a good match here in the slightest with both guys looking sluggish and not really excited to be out there. This is another filler match, though these are starting to get fewer and further between, at least compared to a few years ago. In your depressing moment of the show, both of these two will be dead in less than two years.
British Bulldog vs. Warlord
Rating: C-. Not terrible here as Warlord was fine as a dragon for Bulldog to slay. This is a good example of a match where they went step by step in a very basic idea but the execution was good enough to make what should have been a disaster into something totally watchable.
Macaulay Culkin is here.
Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys
Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts
Post match Jake destroys the cologne atomizer and puts Damien on Rick.
Jimmy Snuka vs. Undertaker
We recap Savage vs. Warrior, which started over the WWF World Title and is now career vs. career.
Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage
Gorilla and Heenan preview the rest of the show.
Demolition, now just Smash and Crush (replacement for Ax) and heels, tells Alex Trebek that only Mr. Fuji (their manager again) has all the answers.
Jake and Damien freak Trebek out. Damien will have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy. Heenan takes credit for setting the whole thing up.
Demolition vs. Tenryu/Kitao
Heenan leaves to manage Mr. Perfect in the next match and will be replaced by Lord Alfred Hayes.
Heenan and Perfect call Boss Man Barney Fife and reference the Rodney King beatings, which had taken place just three weeks earlier.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Big Boss Man
Boss Man is challenging and knocks Perfect over the top rope with a single right hand. Back in and he swings Perfect around BY THE HAIR. Freaking ow man! Perfect avoids a charge in the corner but gets whipped so hard that he flips forward in a crash. Boss Man whips him with a belt (the referee is fine with this of course) but Perfect wraps the belt around his fist for a shot to the ribs.
We hit an abdominal stretch on the challenger and Heenan tells the timekeeper to ring the bell. The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but a reverse Hennig neck snap (kind of a running Blockbuster) gets two. Perfect is nice enough to go up top for the dive into the raised boot that was clearly designed as a way for him to dive into a raised boot.
Donald Trump, Chuck Norris, Lou Ferrigno (the reason Hulk Hogan got his name. They were on a talk show once and Hogan was said to be bigger than the actor who played the Incredible Hulk) and Henry Winkler (who once played a wrestler) are all here. Fonzie just made the show.
Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine
Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory
Power and Glory is Hercules and Paul Roma. Hawk clotheslines them down to start and Roma dives into a powerslam. The Doomsday Device puts Roma away in 59 seconds. Well that worked.
We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil FINALLY had enough of DiBiase treating him like garbage at the Royal Rumble. Roddy Piper, recently injured in a motorcycle accident, has been mentoring and coaching Virgil for the match.
Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil
Virgil dances around like a boxer to start and punches DiBiase to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor again but Virgil sends him back inside. They get in again and Virgil takes him to the mat as this is still in first gear. Gorilla and Heenan talk about this being the largest pay per view audience in history (right) as DiBiase chops away in the corner. A piledriver gets two for Ted and a pair of suplexes gets the same. DiBiase remembers that he used to be really evil and shoves Piper down but Piper uses the crutch to low bridge him to the floor to give Virgil a countout win at 7:37.
We look at Sgt. Slaughter and his boss General Adnan (longtime heel manager Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie) burning a Hogan shirt.
The Mountie vs. Tito Santana
Trebek is guest ring announcer, Maples is guest timekeeper and Regis is on commentary.
WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan
Hogan is challenging and naturally comes out with the American flag. The champ stalls to start and is content to do so for the first minute and a half. A lockup takes them into the corner and neither can get an advantage. Hulk eventually shoves him down before grabbing a headlock. A shoulder sends Slaughter into the ropes for some of his great selling.
Hogan actually goes to the middle rope but Slaughter punches him out of the air. That goes nowhere either so Hogan goes all the way to the top (!), only to get slammed right back down. Another chair shot is ignored by the referee so Slaughter chokes with a camera cable. Back in and Slaughter starts in on the back to set up the camel clutch.
Rating: C+. Aside from being the most obvious ending in the world, this was a fine Wrestlemania main event. Hogan winning made sense, even if the Gulf War had been over for about a month at this point. Slaughter was fine for a one off title reign as the turncoat worked well enough. Not a classic or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do.
A lot of posing and flag waving take us out.
Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian
Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo
Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
British Bulldog vs. Warlord
Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation
Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel
Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka
Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage
Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition
Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
The Mountie vs. Tito Santana
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
Overall Rating: B-
I’ve always had a soft spot for this show.
And the 2013 Redo:
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